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1) Pay the ring bearer a dollar to pick his/her nose during the ceremony.

2) Laugh hysterically the whole time while the vows are being said.

3) Pay the flor girl a dollar to heap the petals on the floor, and walk in front of the bride with the basket on her head.

4) Play a heavy metal song in your portable CD player during the procession. Make sure tu disabled the piano/organ first.

5) Walk around, handing other guests copies of embarrassing pictures of your cousin, who is the one getting married.

6) Get your best friend to call tu repeatedly during the ceremony. Make sure tu set your ringtone to an irritating tone.

7) Paint yourself purple for the occasion.

8) "Trip" and spill chocolate fondue all over the bride.

9) Put a "kick me, I'm making a stupid mover por getting married" sign on the groom's back.

10) "Invite" a pit bull.
posted by funnyshawna
Apparently, this is what I do when I'm tired and slightly depressed. Go figure.

101 Great Uses for Eye-Patches!

1.    Wear it to cover your eye.
2.    Wear it to cover the hole where your eye used to be.
3.    Use it to prevent a hole ever being where your eye should be.
4.    Wear it to shield your eye from insects and other flying material.
5.    Wear two and pretend tu are blind.
6.    Wear none and pretend tu can see.
7.    Wear them as sunglasses when rendezvousing...
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posted by pollyloveshouse
 Just plaln annoying!!
Just plaln annoying!!
Hi there fanpoppers =) So I was thinking about some of the things that drive me mad, pet peeves and all that, and I happened to open an chain mail form a friend with these things on, and they all fit me perfectly!! I also added some más that I came up with too, hope tu enjoy!




1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my butt when I ask where the toilet is?




2. People who are willing to get off their butt to buscar the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change...
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posted by ShadowFlame
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done por a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the día of the...
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1. While tu are tu are making an order, randomly start pressing the numbers on the phone and tell the guy to stop doing it.

2. Make up a credit card name and ask if they accept it.

3. Ask for a Big Mac, French fries and a Large Coke.

4. Finish the order with: “Remember, this conversation never happened”.

5. Tell him you’ve got another pizza delivery on the other line and you’re buying from the one who offers the lowest price.

6. Just give him your address and say “Surprise me”. Then hang up.

7. Answer his preguntas with other questions.

8. Spell the ingredients.

9. Stutter every time...
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What's your personality type?

Picks/Polls
link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link
link

(E) Extrovert
-Tend to focus on the outer world of people and the external environment
-Like variety and action
-Often impatient with long, slow jobs
-Are interested in the activities of their work and in how other people do it
-Often act quickly, sometimes without thinking
-Develop ideas por discussion
-Like to learn new task por talking it through with someone
-Need to experience the world in order to understand it and thus tend to like action

(I) Introverts
-Focus más on their own inner world,...
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-If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty

like that's gonna happen

-It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt

now ya tell me!

-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up

can u say hypocrites?

-If at first tu don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!

that reminds of this one chick

-You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me

they like me better! they like me better!

-My imaginary friend thinks tu have some serious...
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posted by Mallory101
Just some of my favorite quotes.
------------------------------------------------


•Dance like your vagina's on fire.

•Don't be a dick just grow one.

•He haunts me like a nightmare, his image is everywhere, he doesn't leave me alone, i can't escape him o erase him, when i know he's not coming
home.

•If tu want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've done.

•How can I go adelante, hacia adelante when I don't know which way I'm facing.

•No one is free, Even the birds are chained to the sky.

•And the feeling when I'm with you,right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up...
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posted by karpach_14
A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then tu can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the cerveza gets drunk.

Ninjas want...
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 The Mew pudín, con leche goes "Na no da"
The Mew Pudding goes "Na no da"
20. pudín, con leche Fon "Tokyo mew mew" The cuties character in the anime she's hyper, active and has the best amor interest despite not being the main character and only eight years old.

19.Hiei from "Yu Yu Hakusho" Hiei has the darkest life. He was thrown off a cliff as a child, torn from his family, lost the only thing he had of them and then his sister was captured por the UGLIEST of all fat greedy bastards. No not the one from Disney's "Pocahontas".
 A sucky life gave him an attitude everyone loves
A sucky life gave him an attitude everyone loves

18.Snow White from "Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs" The most innocent of the disney princess naive,...
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posted by wisegirl778
Hehe


1: Post an artical like this!
2: Go to the community pool.
3: Try to do as many backflips as possible in one minute.
4: Call your crush and see what he/she says to you.
5: Look up your least favorito! teacher in the phone book and then prank call them saying they ordered three hundred gallon of spoiled mustard
6: Get together with your friends and go to the mall o something that guys do
7: Go nightswimming
8: Grab your ipod and lay on your cama listening to every song on it.
9: Look up misceláneo people in your yearbook and if tu know them call them.
10: Play a prank on your little sibling...
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Stupid pickup lines That guys actually think work on girlsXD

-are tu from tennessee; cause your the only ten I see
-did it hurt when tu fell from heaven
-excuse me, I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours
-if tu were a booger I'd pick tu first
-help the homeless...take me inicial with you
-oh no! I'm choking...I think I need mouth to mouth
-there must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you
-hey I'm looking for treasure, can I look in your chest
-do tu have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes
-hello I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart
-hi, I'm new...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I found this on the internet.

1.    Smile
2.    Laugh
3.    Run your fingers through your hair
4.    Touch them gently on the arm/shoulder
5.    Give them a hug
6.    Tease them
7.    Complement their clothes
8.    Say, "It seems like forever since I last saw you"
9.    Whisper
10.    Offer them a blanket o capa if it's cold
11.    Offer to buy them a drink
12.    Lean...
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Grammar and spelling issues have been discussed several times and I just thought I would give my opinion on the subject. This articulo is mostly aimed for those who call themselves "Grammar Nazis", but I would be más than glad that everyone else reads it as well, including the "Grammar Nazis" that aren't overly critical. Before I go on, I will point out that my English may not be so good since it is not my first language and I'm not studying it, but I'm trying as hard as I can to improve it every day, so my apologies if anything I've dicho here isn't understandable.

So having good grammar and...
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posted by d3ath_3at3r
In a pub examen the other día I lost por one point. The pregunta was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other preguntas was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that manzana, apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing comprar that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some bombardeo, bombardero jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...
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posted by Twilight_Dream
ok, so today i looked up how to make your own lip gloss on google and looked through what came up to find an easy one. well i came to this one, and this seemed the easiest without having to use and get a thousand materials. i made some and it turned out awesome. so i wanted to share this with the rest of you, enjoy.:)

Step 1: Gather Your Materials

To make your own lip gloss, tu will need the following:
Petroleum gelatina, jalea (Vaseline)
Lip gloss containers
A microwave-safe dish—one with a spout if you've got it
Microwave
Spoon
To individualize your lip gloss, tu can add your choice of the following:
Colorant:...
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So whenever ur in a crowded place i find that it is really fun to ummmmm well play some jokes on misceláneo passerby!!!! if ur like me read on.................

The number one thing to do!!
Get a 1 o 5 dollar bill.
Get some chocolate icing.
Put the icing in a little turd shape on the money ( u see where i'm going with this??)
Put the bill in plane view and watch the peoples expressions!! they usually go from " look some money!!!!" to " Ughhh run away!!!"
It is just hilarious and when u get tired of watching o see somebody who looks like they'll take it anyway..... walk over pick it up and put the icing...
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posted by LaurieLisa717
1. He tells someone

Is he interested? He likes tu if he tells a mutual friend that he wants to know más about you, o he asks other people who tu are and where you’re from. He is trying to act like he’s “just asking” but his preguntas indicate más than a casual interest. And when he tells someone that he finds tu attractive, he probably knows that it will get back to you. He’s hoping it does.


2. The look

He gives tu a look that betrays his calm exterior. Even though he is across the room, “that look” he has says it all. It is sweeping, from your head to your toes, and then...
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posted by Mallory101
..Thats right....Be amazed. (:


Abaza (Russia) Mysh bzi
Abaza (Russia) Umsh bzi
Abé (Côte d'Ivoire) Bomé
Abé (Côte d'Ivoire) Eli o
Abkhaz (Georgia) Mshybzia
Abkhaz (Georgia) Mshybziakua
Abkhaz (Georgia) [to a man] Bziara ubaant
Abkhaz (Georgia) [to a woman] Bziara bbant
Abenaki (Maine USA, Montreal Canada) Kwai
Abenaki (Maine USA, Montreal Canada) Kwai kwai
Abron (Ghana, Cote d'Ivoire) Akwaaba
Acateco (San Miguel Acatán Guatemala) Hanik'
Aceh (Sumatra) Saleum
Aceh (Sumatra) Assalamoe aleikoem
Achareta (South Asia) 'O
Achareta (South Asia) 'E
Achí (Baja Verapaz Guatemala) [to man] Xla, ta
Achí (Baja Verapaz...
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This has probably happened to a lot of tu because of taking notes in class.

Have tu ever got a little blister o callus because of escritura too much on your finger? It's normal. All it is is a small callus from the pen applying a bit too much pressure o rubbing for too long against your skin.

Calluses are not dangerous, but they aren't pretty either. All people who practice something with their hands all the time get them. Playing the guitarra o even cooking a lot can result in calluses.

So tu have some calluses and tu want to get rid of them. Fine. Use pens that have a little padding and try not to push down so hard on the pen.

tu can also do a treatment to get rid of calluses. Put your hands in warm water with limón for 10 minutos and let them soak. Then dry them off and apply creams o almendra oil to the callus. Use hand cream daily and tu will see a difference.

If the callus hurts and does not go away then ask your parents about it. Lol