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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can tu tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The palanca de mando is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her más attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do tu say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are tu boys all in the same band?
A3: Do tu guys all play for the Green bahía Packers?

Q: How do tu make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The más tu bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a cerveza bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and espaguetis, espagueti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when tu eat them.
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Opinion by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Blonde Cop


This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.

The blonde driver looks all around in her bolso, monedero and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”

“Well, do tu have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.

The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”

“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known tu were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”



Civic Lesson

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.

A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born...
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Death Row in Women’s Prison
Three women are about to be executed. One’’s a brunette, one’’s a redhead, and one’’s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette adelante, hacia adelante and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim…”
Suddenly the brunette yells, “EARTHQUAKE!!!”
Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while [...]

Jamaica
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must mover to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in [...]

Blonde at a strip mall
What did the blonde say after he went to the strip mall?
“I was disappointed. Everybody else had their clothes on.”

Car hangers
Why do blondes keep hangers in their cars?
In case they lock themselves out.
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List by Spi_Kat_Penguin posted hace más de un año
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The following dumb laws are, o were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before tu go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if tu bail off and do something stupid o try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).

Alabama

In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable por death.
Alaska

In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking sleeping oso, oso de for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
Arizona

In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Fake carsickness.

Lean back in your asiento on the person behind you.
Ask. Are we there yet? Every 5 Minutes.

Have arguments with someone in the car.

Stick your head out the window like a dog.

Sing with the radio loudly even if tu don’t know the words.

Actually get carsick.

Play with every gadget tu find in the car.

Have belching contests.

Accelerate and brake every 4 seconds.

Count to 10 before going at a stop sign.

Run a yellow light but change your mind while tu still can.

Drive down the left turn lane.

Slow down when tu see a sign that says, “bridge may be icy,” especially in the dead of summer.

Stop at railroad crossings.

Drive with your feet.

Hit the gas and the brake at the same time.

Drive 46 mph on the expressway.

In the fast lane.

See how far across the seats tu can spit breath mints before tu get yelled at.
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List by jblover27 posted hace más de un año
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1.We only care about if our butts look good and wat our boobs and hair look like
2.always tell us our hair and CLOTHES look good
3.tell us we have nice bodys
4.girls know when your faking it NO MATTER WAT
5.We are not afraid to hurt you
6.if we're tired o cranky then make jokes then we want to kill you
7.dont be surprised if we're using tu to make someone jealous
8.if tu have a prob come tell us about it
9.we could break up with tu if your not a good kisser but we have the power to destroy you
10.no girls dads like their daughters first boyfriend
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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28 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew

1.. We’re not as big of perverts as tu think we all are.

2.. No matter what tu say, your ex-boyfriend is an asshole

3.. We like tu to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.

4.. Don’t argue with us when we call tu beautiful.

5.. Don’t treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.

6.. We know you’re pretty, that’s one of the reason’s we’re going out with you.

7.. Don’t go into detail about your period. It scares us.

8.. If tu have cramps and we ask tu what’s wrong, just tell us it’s that time of the mes and nothing more.

9.. If tu really liked us for us, tu would let us think that our mustache, beard, o sideburns looked cool.

10.. We never shave our legs. Get over it.

11.. NEVER ask us if tu can put make up on us. It’s just wrong.

12.. Don’t make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us if tu don’t.
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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50 Things Girls Wish Guys Knew...
1. Don't tell us when tu think other girls are hot.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever tu have to say during commercials.
3. If tu don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria's Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. We think about tu ALL the time.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like tu to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. We hate that tu can eat all tu want and not get fat.
11. Return favors: we massage, tu massage; we go down, tu go down; we shave, tu shave (and not just your face).
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. We're allowed to be late . . . tu are not.
14. Eye contact is key.
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. tu have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets tu a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If tu want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if tu are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness is excitement that has found a settling down place. But there is always a little corner that keeps flapping around. ~E.L. Konigsburg


Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so tu might as well be happy. ~Cynthia Nelms
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Fan fiction by InvaderStorm posted hace más de un año
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He leaned against the wall, corazón thumping and out of breath. He’d managed it, what everyone told him was impossible. He’d escaped them for what must have been the millionth time. He had told the world about it, but of course, nobody believed him, as nobody ever escapes them.
    They had unimaginable power, with forces and numbers greater then anything tu have ever seen. They wanted him dead. Not the ‘you estola my soda and I am going to kill you’ dead, they didn’t stand childish antics like that. No, they wanted him 6 feet under dead. But he escaped every time. Some might say it was dumb luck, others might say he lied about the whole thing. But the real truth was: he outmatched them.
    Yes, one man managed to outmatch an army of which size tu wouldn’t believe if I told you. Nobody knows how it was possible, not even the man himself. All he knew is that he couldn’t let them take him, dead o alive. For if they did, unimaginable things would happen to the world. He didn’t know exactly what those things were, but he knew whatever it was, it was bad news.
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Opinion by ShiningsTar542 posted hace más de un año
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This is a yummy and easy recipe. Perfect for a summer treat!

Here is what tu are going to need to make the pie:

* 1 sm. pkg. limón Jello
* 1 tall can evaporated milk
* 2 eggs,
* 1 c. sugar
* 1 1/2 c. pineapple jugo, jugo de

First, beat eggs in a large pot add then add sugar and pineapple juice.

Then ask an adult for help. Mixing, bring sauce to a boil. Remove from heat and add limón Jello.

Then, cool in a pan of water o ice (about 1 hour).

Put evaporated leche in the largest mezclador bowl and set into freezer until ice forms around edges. Then whip in mezclador until stiff peaks form.

Now tu are half way there.

siguiente add the first mixture that has been cooling, in a slow stream and continue to beat until all is mixed together.

Pour into 2 (9") pie crust (or use vanilla crust).

Ready to eat? Not yet! Refrigerate at least 2 hours before serving.
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Opinion by beeibe posted hace más de un año
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I found this beautiful articulo and I had to share :)


One día a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of mostrando his son how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did tu see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," dicho the son.
"So, tell me, what did tu learn from the trip?" asked the father.!
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
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Opinion by Snugglebum posted hace más de un año
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Dear Teacher:

In just over a week, tu will be my son's Grade 1 teacher. He is ever so excited to be under your tutelage. Why, since the last día of kindergarten, entering your class was all he could talk about. He gleefully thrust a piece of paper into my hand on that June afternoon, and said, "Here's a lista of the stuff I need for school siguiente September!"

And I have to admit, I, too, was excited. I'm a school supplies geek from way back. And so, in early August, I set out to buy the items you'd listed.

It was on my fourth store that the realization began to sink in.

You're a crafty one, aren't you?

This lista was a thinly disguised test. Could I find the items, exactly as you'd prescribed? Because if not, my son would be That Kid, the one with the Problem Mother, Who Can't Follow Directions.

For example, the glue sticks tu requested. In the 40 gram size. Three of the little buggers. (What kind of massive, sticky project you've got planned for the first día of school that would require the students to bring all this glue, I cannot imagine.) But the 40 gram size doesn't come in a convenient 3-pack. The 30...
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuto intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people tu can get
to registrarse in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department por sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as tu see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I
think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what
happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Entertainment

Don't confuse entertainment with watching a movie. Watching a movie is not very creative and can end up being expensive too. Here is a whole lista of entertainment dates that are not expensive and still fun.

Take a hike in the woods
Go "people watching" at the mall
Go exploring around some Historical Sites
Go to the mall and pretend to comprar for something (like an engagement ring o a car)
Go to an art museum
Walk down a busy road eating M & M's and wave at the cars that are the same color as the M & M tu just ate.
Have a césped, hierba fight
Make paper boats and float them down a stream o pond
Play cops and robbers.
Have a water balloon fight.
Make and fly paper airplanes.
Create "fine" art (finger painting, jewelry making, play dough)
Play hopscotch in an empty parking lot.
Make kites and fly them at a park
Play juego de croquet, croquet in the dark using flashlights.
Have a nerd contest. Set a dollar and go to a thrift shop. Then go somewhere wearing the outfits tu bought.
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Article by Dimka_Roza4eva posted hace más de un año
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1. The only bird that can fly backwards is the hummingbird.

2. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

3. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds!

4. A rata survive longer without water than a camel.

5. Toupees for perros are sold in Tokyo

6. A delfín sleeps with one eye open

7. A cocodrilo can't stick it's tounge out

8. A mammal's blood is red, an insect's blood is yellow, and a lobster's blood is blue!

9. Loud, fast música makes termites chew faster

10. A blue whale's tounge weighs más than a elephant

11. Ablutophobia is the fear of bathing

12. Acarophobia is the fear of itching

13. Agyrophobia is the fear of crossing the street!

14. Alektorophobia is the fear of chickens

15. Alliumphobia is the fear of garlic

16. Amensiophobia is the fear of amnesia

17. Anablephobia is the fear of looking up
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Article by rukiarocks posted hace más de un año
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1-play baseball with one cucumber

2-use a cucumber to sing along with your friends

3-put eyes and a nose to it and pretend it is your best friend

4-open a cumcumber store in front of your house and tell them tu are raising money to buy comida for homeless dogs

5-go to a spa and take your own cucumber and complain that tu want them to use that cucumber cause it means alot for you

6-in valentines día gift your friends a cucumber and tell them tu grew them with love

7-go to a grocery store and grab a cucumber then put it siguiente to your ear and say that he talks to tu and says he need a new inicial and thats why tu buy it

8-use the mr.potato pieces to create your own mr.cucumber


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Opinion by 7things posted hace más de un año
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Your Mother also has her sentence she says and repeats it all the time?

Let us share ...

1. We don't say "Yuck."
2. I'm tired of repeating the same thing a hundred times.
3. I'm not your maid.
4. It's not over soon this comedy?
5. Stop sniffing blow your nose.
6. I have not heard the magic word.
7. tu don't say "I do not like" tu have not even tasted.
8. What we say to Mom?
9. File in your room!
10. Hurry up, you'll be late!
11. Don't wad of bread.
12. What are these grades?
13. Eat: it's full of vitamins.
14. But leave them alone!
15. Because it's like that, that's all.
16. Go on, shoo!
17. Pee, teeth and in bed!
18. No but you're not going well, you've seen before?
19. So that, I'm leaving without you!
20. Go wash your teeth!
21. What did I say? Are tu kidding me?
22. Enough now with this computer.
23. Eat your carrots, it's tasty.
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List by wolfgrrl posted hace más de un año
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1. AT DINNER: Look at your parent with crazy eyes, and whenever they say something, repeat the last word.

2. When they say, "What are tu doing?", say, "What are tu doing?" (emphasize the YOU)

3. IN THE LIVING ROOM: Tell your sibling to hide behind the sofá until tu give them the signal. Call your parent into the room. Start crying and say "Mom! Dad! (sibling's name) ran away! Call the police!" When they call the police, give your sibling the signal. Enjoy parents reactions. (WARNING: ATTEMPT THIS ONE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!)

4. WHEN THEY MAKE SOMETHING GROSS FOR DINNER: Ask them which restaurant they bought it from, then say, "Ugh! Never go there again!"

5. When they tell tu it's homemade, excuse yourself from the table, go into the siguiente room, and laugh, o pretend to gag.

6. WHEN THEY HAVE COMPANY: Walk into the room, and say loudly, "Hey, how's your disgusting toe fungus?" Look at the company and say, "She has disgusting toe fungus. Highly contagious."
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Opinion by ShiningsTar542 posted hace más de un año
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All of us hate to do exercise, but it is necessary to stay fit and healthy. It is worse when the summer is hot and humid and the last thing we want to do is go for a jog...

But, no matter the season it is important to exercise. Staying fit doesn't mean spending 3 hours a día at the gym, there are ways to be active in your día to día life and burn calories at the same time.

For example:

Forget the elevator and the escalator. Take the stairs whenever tu can to keep your behind looking good.

Stand up. Instead of sitting on the bus o train, stand. tu may not realize it, but standing takes más energy then sitting.

Clean up your room, and help around the house. Not only will this please your mother o father, but tu will also be burning calories while tu work.

Don't stay home. Meet up with your friends, go for a walk, and get out and see things! Moving around and staying active is the best way to stay fit. If tu can, go swimming o go for a long walk.
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Opinion by KitkatKaysa posted hace más de un año
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I am sorry if this offends anyone, this is just for fun, i got bored. And i really hope tu enjoy this.

Doofus (doo-doo that fusses)
Dough-head (play-dough head)
Dur-hur (ummmmmm.... idk actually)
Twidiot (a twin thats an idiot)
Dumbo (a dumb person named bo)
Baka (stupid cow, japenese its stupid, spanish its a cow)
Gerd (Girl nerd)
Girlilla (a girl that looks like a gorilla)
Gurd (girl turd)

If anyone has anymore ideas, please comentario and i will make another of these. Ok now i have to make más lines.
__________________________________________________
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Article by HNismyfriend posted hace más de un año
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Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. While touring a reservation during the documentary she was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses. So she asked a Valiente who only had one feather in his headdress, and his reply was: "Only have one woman: one woman, one feather."

Feeling the first fellow was only joking, she asked another brave. This Valiente had two feathers in his headdress. And he replied: "Me have two women: two women, two feathers."

Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved, she decided to interview the Chief. Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers which, needless to say, amused Ms. Walters. She asked the Chief, "Why do tu have so many feathers in your headdress?"

The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said: "Me Chief, me sleep with 'em all. "Big, small, fat and tall, me sleep with em all."

Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be hung."
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Fan fiction by darkkhorn19 posted hace más de un año
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It was around 12:30 and I was at the grocery, I was busy getting some apples when a teenage boy goes over to me and hands me a cold bottle of water and a magazine. I thanked him, but apon lectura the magazine it was full of lies. It was trying to convert me to Christianity, so before I drank the water, I threw the ice-cold water in his face, dropped the magazine, and dicho "If your so-called "God" exsisted, why didn't he stop me from doing that?" The boy simply replied "Because your denying his love". Right away, I replied "Oh please, If there was a God, I bet tu he'd rather prefer a good honest Athiest than a preacher on Televison going around lying about his healing powers". He was angered "And how do tu know who God would prefer?!" If it was even possible at the time, I was calmer than before and answered. "The very same way the bible was made". I smiled warmly as I saw him stomp away with anger.
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List by hunter51 posted hace más de un año
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INUYASHA
HERES MY parte superior, arriba TEN lista OF ANIME/MANGA TO WATCH

10.INUYASHA!
ITS FUNNY AND ACTION PACT

9.ROSARIO VAMPIRE!
ITS JUST PLAIN FUNNY

8.BLEACH!
NOT TOO FUNNY BUT DEFINATLY INTERESTING
7.NARUTO!
FUNNY COOL & ACTIOONY XD NEW WORD)

6.OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB!
ITS REALLY ADDICTIVE TO BAD THE anime IS ONLY 26 EPISODES

5.KAMICHAMA KARIN!
ITS A KINKY ROMANTIC COMEDY THAT REALLY ADDICTIVE TO BAD ITS ONLY 26 EPISODES

4.NARUTO SHIPPUDEN!
ONCE tu START WATCHING tu JUST CANT STOP

3.TOKYO MEW MEW!
JUST AS GOOD AS NARUTO

2.ZOMBIE LOAN!
1 OF THE COOLEST anime IVE EVER SEEN

1.DEATH NOTE!
anime SO COOL THAT THE WORD OOL DOESNT MAKE SENSE FO THIS ANIME




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Opinion by wolfgirl985 posted hace más de un año
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1. Grab your spoon and put comida on it and start flinging it at people
2. When your parents arent looking splash water o soda on some stranger (optional)
3.Go to every mesa, tabla and start to loosen the salt and pepper shakers
4.When tu take a drink of your water o soda spit it out at some stranger
5.Complain loudly how terrible the service is and if the waiter doesnt do anything give them 25 cents as a tip
6.When tu got your postres (pie,ice cream,etc...) quietly throw some at strangers AND/OR waiter
7.If someone gives tu a dirty look nicely and daintly blow your nose in your napkin and throw it at them
Sorry i dont know what else 2 put but i hope u enjoyed this article!
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