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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Be proud of your gender
Reasons why tu shoud be proud if your a

Guy



1. Phone conversations are over in 30 segundos flat

2. Movie nudity is almost always female

3. tu know stuff about tanks

4. A five día vacation requires only 1 suitcase

5. Toilet lines are 80% shorter

6. tu can open all your own jars

7. Old friends don't give tu crap if you've gained weight

8. Your culo is never a factor in a job interview

9. All your orgasms are real

10. A cerveza gut does not make tu invisible to the opposite sex

11. tu can go to the toilet without a support group

12. Your last name stays put

13. tu can kill your own food

14. The garaje is all yours

15. tu get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

16. Nobody secretly wonders if tu swallow
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Men don't rule the world!!!
Men don't rule the world!!!

If men really ruled the world,

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier.
A tortazo to the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em siguiente time" would pretty much do it.

2. Birth control would come in cerveza inglesa, ale o lager.

3. Valentine's día would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

4. On Groundhog Day, if tu saw your shadow, you'd get the día off to go drinking. Mother's día too.

5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.

6. Garbage would take itself out.

7. Regis and Kathy Lee would be chained to a cement mezclador and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.

8. The only mostrar opposite "Monday Night Football" would "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".

9 Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer- biceps".
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Things other's hate
Here's a few things tu can do to make everyone pissed off at you.

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. If tu have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what tu think."

8. Practice making fax and modem noises.

9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.

10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Ways to call someone stupid
If people think your disses are lame, your jokes are old, and your comebacks are just humiliating tu more, you've come to the right place! This is funnystufflol's section of different ways to call someone stupid!

1. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching

2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal

3. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity

4. A few beers short of six-pack

5. Proof that evolution can go in reverse

6. Doesn't have all his Cornflakes in one box

7. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead

8. One frutas Loop shy of a full bowl

9. One taco short of a combination plate

10. A few feathers short of a whole duck

11. All foam, no beer

12. Body por Fisher, brains por Mattel

13. Has an I.Q. of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt

14. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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New ways to order pizza
Are tu tired of always ordering pizza the same way? Well, this lists will keep tu entertained for over 90 pizza orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their preguntas with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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WARNING- THESE ARE NOT ANY EXCUSES FOR tu INCASE tu GET PULLED OVER por A COP. FUNNYSTUFFLOL IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE tu CAN SUFFER por SAYING THESE PHRASES TO AN OFFICER o ANY ONE ELSE!!!!


Can tu hold my beer, I cant reach my license.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't tu the guy from the Village People?

Hey, tu must've been doing' about 125 mph to keep up with me.
Good job!

Are tu Andy o Barney?

I thought tu had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
police officer.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

I pay your salary!

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning,
too!

Do tu know why tu pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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JUST IN CASE YOUR BORED


1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuto intervals throughout the day.
3. Make a trail of naranja jugo, jugo de on the floor, leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Put M&M's on layaway.
8. mover "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from cama and Bath.
10. When someone asks if tu need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't tu people just leave me alone?"
11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while tu pick your nose.
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Things to do in a movie theater
1. Inform the entire theatre that tu have to go to the bathroom. Wait a minuto o so and tell everyone that tu feel better now.

2. Applaud.

3. Laugh loudly during serious and sad scenes.

4. Sing along with the backround music.

5. Whenever someone opens a door yell "Don't go in there, he's got a gun!"

6. Snore.

7. Yell "Hey, down in front!" even if tu are sitting in the front.

8. Make shadow puppets.

9. If you've seen the movie before, say what's going to happen right before it happens. Act amazed at your wonderful foresight.

10. Walk around behind the screen. Jump through it. Run like hell.

11. Pull out a squirt gun and shoot the "bad guys." Tell people that tu are a part of this new "live action" movie. Squirt any movie personnel telling tu to stop.

12. Read the credits out loud.

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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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misceláneo Facts but are They True?



The first couple to be shown in cama together on prime time TV were fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every día más money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury




Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.




It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% ( now get this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US any dado hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have más zinc and copper in their hair.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

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List by teamsalvatore98 posted hace más de un año
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1.we hate it when tu grab our asses!!!(unless we are hoes)

2.when tu cheat,we hate tu and everything that has to do with you

3.dont act like tu understand PMS,because tu dont.So stop actuación like it.

4.when tu stare at other girls,and we stare at other boys,and tu get all pissed off,you have no reason to speak.So tu may as well stfu.

5.when tu flirt,we flirt back,sometimes when we don't like you.and then we feel bad.So if tu arent sure,dont flirt.

6.If we like a celebritey(ex:Orlando Bloom,Zac Efron,Bill Kaulitz,etc etc.)and we say they are hot,dont act like tu dont care.We want tu to fight for us.

7.Stare at our boobs,you might just get smacked.(so i wouldnt)

8.When tu are creepy,(ex:a guy i went to school with always acted like a total stalker,then one día he was "Emma,will tu go out with me???"and i was like"......hell no....creeper..")we asume that tu are a total pervert and will not want to be around you.
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List by jblovesme4ever posted hace más de un año
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random pic
1. Pretend to cough every time your teacher says the word "learn". :D
Raise your hand every time the teacher asks a question, and make the conversation go a little like this:

Teacher:What is the answer? (after they call on you)
You:I don't know
T: Then why did tu raise your hand?
Y: I need to go to the bathroom.
T: Then go ahead, if tu must.
Y: Nevermind, I don't need to go anymore

Repeat this as many times as possible.
3. Pass blank pieces of folded paper to confuse your teachers when they catch tu "passing notes."

4. Fall out of your chair and pretend to faint. Repeat 3 más times:D

5. Yell "OMG LOOK AT THAT!!" while pointing out the window. When everyone turns to look, act normal and whistle innocently.
5. Yell "OMG LOOK AT THAT!!" while pointing out the window. When everyone turns to look, act normal and whistle innocently.Actually a kid in my Spanish class did that all of the past year, except he would yell "Look!!!!! It's Snowing!!!!!" which was pretty annoying seeing as how he did every other class o so it up to the last día class with 80 degree weather-and he still got...
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Article by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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everyone is beautiful in their own way.
-Alana

just because tu amor someone else doesn't mean tu have to break one más heart.
-alana

everybody's life is different, so don't try to live someone else's life.
-Alana

it doesn't matter how tu look at the outside, look at the inside and find your real beauty.
-Alana

life is never the same, tu can't take whats not yours away.
-Alana

believe in yourself and never give upon your dreams.
-Alana

if tu dont express your talents you'll be known as no one.
-Alana

life is precious with who your with, not with who tu want to be with.
-Alana

why be who your not, when tu can enjoy being who tu are.
-Alana

if tu let yourself down, tu let everyone behind tu down.
-Alana

your first amor will alwats be around, no matter what.
-Alana
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Guide by edwardcarlisle posted hace más de un año
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1st
I saw a pick where it dicho "What else should fanpop have?" created por breebree446. There was the option of "Unsubscribe Button". Actually this button exists, just have to follow some steps.

1. Go to your own perfil and go down to the "My Clubs" part.

2. Then click on the "more clubes >>" button.

3. Below each club there's an "unsuscribe" button.

4. Click on that button and

...

That's it!

Now tu have the oportunity to unsuscribe a club, is really easy and like this tu won't be a fan any más from any club!
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List by dinglebell14 posted hace más de un año
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1. Tired of Trying, sick of crying, Ya I'm smiling, but inside I'm dying....

2. I don't use excuses, Don't ask why...
It's just a breakdown, it happens all the time...
So get out of my face, don't even try...
tu want to help me? Just let me cry!

3. I don't want to admit it,
It was easier to lie,
And hide the hurt and emptiness,
to smile instead of cry.

4. Nobody really cares if your miserable,
so tu might as well be happy. :'|

5. Everyones going to hurt you.... sooner o later tu just have to decide who's worth going through the pain.

6. If someone really loves you,
They will never hurt you,
And if they do,
tu can see it in their eyes that it hurts them too.

7. It's hard to answer the pregunta "What is wrong?" when there is nothing right....

8. There's a smile on my face,
but I don't know why it's there,
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Opinion by MileySelena982 posted hace más de un año
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These are all true, I saw them with my own eyes. They really happened!

1. Texting with BOTH hands (did the forget they were in a car?)
2. A woman putting on make-up while driving on the freeway during rush hour! (WHY? Could it not wait? Was how tu looked más important than DRIVING?)
3. A man unwrapping and eating a full, everything on it, sandwhich while driving. (I guess he was hungry?)

If tu think these are bizzare, it gets better.

4. Someone lectura the newspaper. (I guess he missed the big game?)
5. The dog was on the steering wheel. (No comment.)
6. A woman with her designer shades, bangles down her arm, and her Ford XL (The thing that's as big as a school bus) was pulling out. She stopped, blocking the ENTIRE parking lot, no cars were moving either way. Aparently, she was on the phone. And she was using her hands to talk! (SHUT UP & DRIVE!)

And, if tu thought the past 6 were crazy and should never be done; this one's for you. ;)
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List by Annacrombie posted hace más de un año
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Here is alot of misceláneo things to do when your bored, i made most of these up with friends!

1.When your in the supermercado go up to a misceláneo stranger and whisper "I will come for tu in the night" behind thier back

2.Stand siguiente to a person who is taller then tu and shout "IM SHRINKING!"

3.Go into your local supermercado and grab a large frutas (watermellon ect.) and hand it to a misceláneo person and say "The fate of the world depends on your desision" then walk away

4.When your in a arioplane skip around canto "Im walking in the air!"

5.The siguiente time your in the lift grin and say "I've got new socks on"

6.Go up to a misceláneo bauld guy and say "Hey dude, nice afro"

7.Everytime someone walks por tu shout out "DONT IGNORE ME! I JSUT WANT TO BE LOVED!"

8.Go upto a misceláneo person and say "I like your beard" even if they dont have one

9.Write a lista of ways to kill (inster famous persons name here) and go up to a stranger and say "Do tu like the idea of this?"
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Opinion by Shadowpenguin posted hace más de un año
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Irk, a planet in the Xeno Galaxy, just north of Rigel 7, is inicial to a species of aliens known as the Irkens. Irkens are a somewhat small alien species with sensitive green skin, well-developed brains, and itchy trigger fingers. They have come to be known as many things including "Galactic Terrorists", "Scourge of the Galaxy", "Irken Mafia", "Dick Cheney Worshippers", "Alien Roach Farm", "The Green Communists", "Oppressors", "Ultra Right-Wing Bantha Fodder", "Republican Scum", and "Moronic Aliens Who Think That Watching Dubya Make An culo Of Himself On National televisión Is más Entertaining Than Watching SNL". Despite the negative press from the rest of the the galaxy, the Irkens have become well-established throughout the galaxy, from opening comida rápida restaurants like Shloogorgh's to conquering various planets and enslaving the planet's inhabitants for the fun of it (their exact motive for conquering various planets left and right is to this day, unknown). Although the Irkens have a inicial planet, they prefer to operate from their estrella fleet that orbits whatever planet they plan to conquer. Their major operations take place in an Irken capital ship called The Massive, which hides a...
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Guide by K5-HOWL posted hace más de un año
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It's been only 15 years since gray wolves, after years of near-extinction, were reintroduced into Yellowstone National Park. The initial group of 66 lobos were transplanted into the park from Canada beginning in 1995. Now, más than 1,545 lobos roam Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming.Biologists say that a minimum of 2,000 to 3,000 lobos are needed within the area in order to keep them from disappearing again.The lobos have had tremendous popular support from the beginning. Their reintroduction has been por far the most publicized and celebrated of any wildlife reintroduction in the U.S. The lobos complete the Yellowstone ecosystem, which, without them, had too many hooved animals. The overabundance of some of the wolves' natural prey was altering the natural plant communities along stream banks, due to excessive trampling. With the lobos back on the scene, the Yellowstone natural community is much closer to what it was before most of the surrounding states were profoundly altered por development and livestock ranching. The success of the growing lobo population has made a lot of money for the park, in sales of lobo paraphernalia, such as lobo T-shirts, sweatshirts, coffee cups, and...
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Opinion by Abilei posted hace más de un año
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In the never-ending "Twilight" battle between Team Edward and Team Jacob, we have the results: The vampire -- and the man who plays him -- claims the buzz. Sure, there's been a lot of tough talk about the lobo boy -- aka Jacob Black, aka Taylor Lautner -- wooing affections away from his glittering rival. But, as a brooding Bella knows, it takes a lot to shake one's loyalty to Edward Cullen -- aka Robert Pattinson.

Not that there hasn't been a time when many have strayed: Jacob Black (and Lautner himself) wrangled más searches on Yahoo! than Edward Cullen (and Pattinson) for about three weeks -- around the premiere for "New Moon." Since then, though, Edward Cullen has averaged about 17% más lookups than Jacob Black, and Pattinson about 40% más online interest than his co-star.

The key difference though is who's swooning for whom. The characters of Edward and Jacob pretty much pull in the same crowd (girls 17 and under with a sprinkling of ladies 35-54), but a seismic generation gap opens up with the actors.
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Opinion by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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1)Devise a secret code with your friends then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask preguntas so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s preguntas in slow motion 2)Answer preguntas only with one word
3)Scream misceláneo words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” o “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer preguntas in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend to be scared of everything
15)Draw cartoon characters of your classmates o of the professors
16)Quote Family Guy
17)Write out plan on how to conquer the world
18)Pretend to Choke
19)Pretend to be drunk
20)Tap your feet on the ground loudly
21)Raise your hand for every pregunta your teacher asks tu but answer “oh i forgot”
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Article by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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72 things Guys should know about Girls <3...


1. Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

2. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go.

3. When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her.

4. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her tu amor her.

5. Call her before tu sleep and after tu wake up

6. Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

7. Tease her and let her tease tu back.

8. Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

9. Watch her favorito! movie with her o her favorito! mostrar even if tu think its stupid.

10. Give her the world.

11. Let her wear your clothes.

12. Let her know she's important.

13. kiss her in the pouring rain.

14. When she runs up at tu crying, the first thing tu say is:
"Who's culo am I kicking babe?"

15. If your watching a movie, let her lay on your chest and put your arm around her. Don't always try to make out during a movie, its OK to just chill, unless she suggests otherwise.
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Guide by Mallory101 posted hace más de un año
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1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If tu have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal por conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what tu think."

7. Claim that tu must always wear a bicycle casco as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying más any moment.
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Guide by Mallory101 posted hace más de un año
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11. Take him to Victoria's Secret with Alice.
100 ways to annoy Edward Cullen:

1. Tell him Bella has decided to marry Jacob
2. Tell him tu saw Mike Newton romancing Bella on one of thse days he went *camping
3. Imagine him naked while following him around
4. Prance around the house canto Madonna's 'Like a virgin' at the parte superior, arriba of your lungs every morning, make sure Bella is around to hear
5. Running it por Charlie that Edward has been 'sleeping' with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception.
6. Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob
7. mostrar him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he's thinks that he looks like a pedophile o if it's just you.
8. Tell him Bella wants to elope with Paul
9. For his birthday give him a $100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells tu he doesn't eat food.
10. Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert.
11. Take him to Victoria's Secret with Alice.
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Opinion by sensativEmo posted hace más de un año
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The argument over what's considered to be real música goes on and on (and on and on).

Jyoti Mishra

How many times have tu been in a pub/club/brothel and heard someone start up the same old speech, pointing at some trance act o garaje crew and going, "See that? That's not real music! They can't even play their instruments! tu just push a few buttons and it's all done for you." The best reply for this I've found is to simply agree. But occasionally I'll suggest if it really is that easy, why don't they go and have their own hit record? After all, they just need to buy the right bit of gear and push some buttons. Simple, innit?

This war will run and run, and it will always be part of Sound On Sound's letter pages and forum. It was fought before synthesizers ever existed, and it will be fought after they become classical instruments. While this may seem like a bold statement, thanks to my reciente experiments in twistor field theory, I can now prove my assertion. So if you'd like to stand back a bit, I'll dial in the hypertesseract coordinates...
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Article by Mallory101 posted hace más de un año
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1. If tu are right handed, tu will tend to chew your comida on your right side. If tu are left handed, tu will tend to chew your comida on your left side.

2. If tu stop getting thirsty, tu need to drink más water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep tu from crying.

4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

5. The Mercedes-Benz Lema is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best o nothing”.


6. The titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hora less sleep a night.

9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
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