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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Overheard this on a Londres bus:
First Woman: "I don't know what to get fred for his birthday."
segundo Woman: "Why don't tu get him a book?"
First Woman: (after a moment's thought) "Nah, he's already got a book."
At the pescado hatchery where I work, we have a small display that describes the now-extinct Michigan Grayling (a kind of fish). This summer, I had the following conversation with a tourist:

Tourist: "Is the Grayling still extinct?"
Me: "Yes sir, it doesn't exist anymore."
Tourist: "Any thoughts of bringing it back?"
Me: "No, I don't think that's possible."
Tourist: "Why not?"
Me: "Because it's extinct."
Tourist: "Still?"
Me: "Yes."
Frustrated, he left.

I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items, and the lady behind me put her things on the cinturón, correa close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that they keep por the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider and looked all over it for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she dicho to me,...
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Upon telling people that I am a twin, I have heard some really interesting comments. I can't tell tu how many times this exchange has happened:
"Are tu two related?"
"Yes, we're twins."
"Gosh, tu look so much alike I would have thought tu were sisters."
One of the stories my twin sister and I like to tell is that neither my mother nor her doctor had any idea she was going to have twins until a nurse in the delivery room looked down and exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, there's another one!"

A friend to whom I told this story remarked, "Wow! How old were tu when this happened?"

Around the beginning of the school year, my sister was talking to a guy in her history class. Apparently the same guy was in my English class but didn't realize there were two of us. He came up to my sister and said, "Hi Sarah."

My sister corrected him. "No, I'm Jennifer."

He got really confused and asked, "Well, how come they call tu Sarah in English class?"
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Product Warnings:

"Do not use if tu cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.


"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.


"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.


"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.


"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.


"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.


"Do not use while sleeping o unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.


"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.


"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.


"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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amor and Marriage:

"If falling in amor is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7


"Love is like an avalanche where tu have to run for your life." -- John, age 9


"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow o something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8


"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how tu smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9


"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8


"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -- Tom, age 5


"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a segundo date." -- Mike, 10


"I'm in favor of amor as long as it doesn't happen when dinosaurios is on television." -- Jill, age 6
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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"My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."


"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."


"Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."


"Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."


"Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a árbol and misplaced his hip."


"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."


"Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."


"Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered por very close veins."


"Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side."


"Please excuse rayo, ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."

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Guide by dex3fan475966 posted hace más de un año
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I'm a girl and I've seen the boys who are parte superior, arriba in class and who have massive crushes on a girl but can't get her and I've seen guys who get beat up daily that have the same prob.And.... let's just say tu guys "need" my help. This guide should help at least a bit. so here we go, 7 things,you you've gotta know, counting down from 7...

7. if we forget your name,it's usually because we are'nt impressed por anything tu do o because we don't know tu well enough. Try a new outlet, perferably though for saftey reasons..Not sports. Try drawing o Drama, tu know something that still can impress girls. tu may not get the girl tu want, but let me assure tu you'll at least get a girl, and let me say..they will remember your name.as for if we don't know tu well enough.....TALK TO US FOR LONGER THEN TWO SECONDS!

6.popular girls, if they say no...it just means no, sorry to have to break that to ya.

5. some girls actually do like smart o dorky guys, it may just be they don't know tu well enough to realize your their type.
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List by 1122ridr posted hace más de un año
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Opinion by tooch posted hace más de un año
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I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think o relate to these, in some way o another:

-Getting that knot feeling in your stomach when tu want to cry.
-Pinky swears mean business.
-"Who are tu talking to?"...... "TELL THEM I SAY HI!!!!!!"
-Hiding when someone tu don't know knocks on your door.
-That moment where tu think "Wow, I'm weird."
-We teenagers need naps waaaaaaaay más than preschoolers do.
-I hate that 'back to school' feeling.
-Jumping 500ft to your cama because you're afraid something under your cama is going to grab you.
-Every year, I realise how stupid I was the año before.
-Trying to finish a dream por going back to sleep.
-Love will ALWAYS find a way. Never doubt that. tu can't control it, it has it's own way of working itself out.
-Saying 'k' when someone pisses tu off.
-I just amor the way tu lie to my face.
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Review by energizerbunny posted hace más de un año
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Anyway I'm back and I had a great time, except when we were on a bus and it was over 100 degrees, it was soooo hot, and after a while people were starting to get ill...but not me, I was laughing at everyone and they were getting mad at me lol


So we finally got at the cabins, the boys got the bigger one but they had más people, besides the girls had a much better game room, me and 4 other girls wanted to stay up all night...you could tell that we were sleepy because we were giggling at nothing and jumping at everything lol


I was soo sleepy, I fell asleep on the Pooltable which was surprisingly comfortable, but I was woken up when one of the girls (Brittany) started taking pictures of me, so I got up and we stayed up till 4:30 and I didn't want to be por myself so I got a sheet and a almohada and slept in the closet


We woke up at about 7:30, and we got ready and we went to the rafting thing...we got there and had to wait a while and it was burning hot, we loaded the bus to go to the place to go rafting...we got there and I was very nervous, we met this couple and they were on the same barco as us..My group included Bro. David...
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Article by Blueeyes99 posted hace más de un año
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If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be dado LIFE in prison without the possibility o parole.

A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet pitón, python refused to eat it was dado three years of supervised probation on Friday.

Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.

The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD mostrando Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the pitón, python in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.

When the pitón, python failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.


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Opinion by ThatDarnHippo posted hace más de un año
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When I went to see Toy Story 3 and Despicable Me, the previews were the same. And all the cine that the previews were advertising looked terrible. Well, enredados looks OK, and Megamind seems worth it, but Smurf and Kitty Galore look like an insult to my intelligence. Maybe I'm just taking these too seriously, but still. Previews are supposed to make their cine look GOOD.

The trailer that really got to me was Alpha and Omega. If tu haven't seen it, look it up on Youtube. I know tu shouldn't judge a movie por it's, uh, trailer, but this seems like it's going to be freakin' horrible.
Wayyy to cliche. And predictable.
Just por watching the trailer, I can tell tu the whole storyline:
Guy lobo and girl lobo of different social rankings get stuck in situations that force them to work together, guy turns out to have unexpected skills the girl didn't know about, and after a misunderstanding o two, they fall in love. Yawn.
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Article by 555YJ posted hace más de un año
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i was sad one day
i was walking in the street
feeling sad and alone
the boy i have a crush on is my first best friend
and my other best friend
who's also a boy
to wich i say everything to
has a crush on me and just admited it
i was walking in the calle
feeling sad and alone
my house is a little farther
and i'm actually enjoying the nice breeze
i take my ipod out of my jeans pocket
and put john mayer's your body is a wonderland
and i buy some licerish
and i turn the volume up
and start dancing in the street
i get farther from home
to a little hill
and i sleep on the ground lookin up
there's no one siguiente to me
i start to feel like i'm flying
i put my song on repeat
and i start LOL-ing
i close my eyes
and eat licerish
i'm flying
my red converse shoe cordón, encaje are in the air
i feel high.....
ON LICERISH :)
i'm sleeping now on a cloud
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List by robothor1111 posted hace más de un año
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As a proud visitor of forty-four of the fifty United States, I am a bit of a self-taught expert in amusing oneself on long rides in motor vehicles. Whether tu are the driver, riding shotgun, o sitting in the back, there is a plethora of ways to make dicho drive go por much faster.
One way to take a long, boring drive across the never changing flatness of Nebraska o Oklahoma, and mold it into an enjoyable spending of one’s time is to engage in a physical fight with a sibling. This works best when tu are driving and the sibling is in the back seat. It does not matter if the dicho sibling is behind tu o the passenger, the fight (and the reactions of the others in the car) will certainly make the drive más interesting. However, this is not the only thing tu can do to amuse yourself while behind the wheel. Something I have personally found amusing is to occasionally nick the rumble strip, possibly to the beat of the song playing on the radio. If no song is playing, drive on the strip itself, bobbing your head as if the sound is pleasant. Another thing tu can try, if tu are passing a car on a two lane road, is stay in the lane with opposing traffic as long as...
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Opinion by katana64 posted hace más de un año
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swords are very much like computers in a lot of ways. The first one being that both can be used to harm people. A computer can send out viruses and be used as tools to hack other computers, they can also be placed in murder weapons like pistolas and missiles to make them fuego and kill por themselves. a sword can be used to hurt o even kill people.
the segundo way is they can help people. a computer can be used to contact long lost friends and to help with some complicated tasks, some can even save lives like the one computer that calculated its way around the moon to use its gravity to save the astronauts lives when they ran out of fuel on a lunar mission. a sword can be used to protect the helpless and the oppressed just like kenshin and some other characters in the anime rurouni kenshin.
and lastly the third way. one can use a powerful expensive gaming computer as bragging rights just as a sword can be used as bragging rights when talking to a friend o rival.
one way that it is different. formal sword training teaches ethics and good conduct but computers don't necessarily do that.
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List by MileySelena982 posted hace más de un año
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This is very funny I told some of my friends and they laughed.

Kids, don't try this at inicial XD

Oh, and anything in between these things ** Is and action.

Oh and on más thing, I live in NYC, so any references that's why.

1. Shoot me now.
2. *Jumps of Brooklyn Bridge*
3. *Sinks with the Titanic*
4. *Runs away with Prince Charming*
5. *House lands on self in Oz*

6. *Wicked witch turns self into frog*
7. *Frog gets run over*
8. *Frog gets carried away be halk*
9. *Bangs head on muro so hard, knock self into the siguiente room*
10. *Flies into the sun*

11. *Falls off the face of the earth*
12. *Jumps off cliff*
13. *Goes skydiving and forgets parachute*
14 *Dives into tiburón tank*
15. *Glinda the good witch of the north send self home*

16. *Jumps into swamp full of hungry alligators*
17. Newspaper headline - "Magic trick gone wrong: teen disappears!"
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Opinion by tooch posted hace más de un año
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I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think o relate to these, in some way o another:

-I accept your apology, but I do not accept tu as my friend anymore.
-I hate when my parents take everything so seriously.
-I get upset when my phone looses one battery bar.
-Hearing rumors about your favourite celeb and getting pissed off.
-You call me.. I ignore it. I get a "restricted/unknown" call.. do tu think I'm dumb?
-We all want what we can't have.
-Seeing a scary movie either to laugh o have someone hold you.
-Just because I'm smiling, doesn't mean I don't want to hit tu in the face.
-Why must teen years be some of the hardest years of my life?
-When you're texting a really long message and tu hit end and have to start all over again.
-Laughing during awkward moments.
-Sometimes it's hard to go with your gut feeling.
-I know what you're doing and it's not going to work.
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Opinion by 555YJ posted hace más de un año
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ok, once i was in the car with my mom and i was sitting in the passenger seat. we were stuck in a HUGE traffic! so, we were behind a mall and i was looking outside the window...
there was a woman, she seemed like she has just had her nails made cz she was holdin them in the air and blowin on them!
AND GUESS WHAT!!!! her maid was standin behind her carrying the woman's purse, the woman's 4 año old boy and like a THOUSAND GROSERY BAGS!! the woman was not helping her at all! she wasn't even asking her if she needed some help
so, the little kid was tryin to escape from the made's arms and since they were siguiente to the calle with all the cars(eventhougt there was a traffic), the sweating made couldn't let him go so she let go of the grosery bags who fell on the floor and stopped the kid from running away! i thaugt she did good por choosing to save the kid, but apperently not the mom! she screamed and the sweating like hell made and told her: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? LOOK, EVERYTHING IS ON THE FLOOR!!!!" and guess what?? SHE SLAPPED HER ON THE CHEAK!!!!! i wanted to kill her! but good thing the maid didn't shut up for her own rights! she had ENOUGH!!! so she looked at...
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Article by Farree posted hace más de un año
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The Earth has a diameter of about 12700 kilometers (7900 miles).
The sun has a diameter of about 1.39 million kilometers (865000 miles).
Its diameter is about 109 times the diameter of earth.

The formula for volume of a sphere is V=(4/3) πr3
The approximate volume of the Sun is then 1.3 x 106 times the approximate volume of the Earth.

It would take approximately 1.3 million Earth-sized objects to fill the volume of the Sun.

(*More precise measurements would have to define the surface, i.e. include o exclude the outer layers of the Sun. The Sun is not perfectly spherical and has no "solid" surface.)
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Opinion by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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A stoner called the fuego department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"






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THIS IS FUNNY

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Opinion by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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[A] ª ∆ ∀ α Λ ɐ ɑ ɒ ɚ
[B] þ ß ƀ Ɓ Ƅ ɓ ɞ ɮ ʙ ҍ Ᏸ ℬ
[C] © ¢ € Ƈ ɕ ʗ ℂ €
[D] ∂ δ Ð đ Ɗ ɖ ɗ
[E] Ξϑ ∊ ∈ ∃ Ə Ɛ Ǝ ε Σ Ƹ ƺ ɘ ə ξ э ҿ ཇ ℰ ミ
[F] Ƒ ƒ ℱ
[G] Ɠ Ǥ ǥ ɠ ɡ ɢ ʛ ց Ꮆ
[H] ħ ƕ Ƕ ɦ ɧ ʜ ʰ ʱ ђ Ᏺ
[I] ¡ Ɩ Ɨ ɨ ɩ ɪ ϊ أ ར
[J] ǰ ʝ ʲ ز
[K] κ Ƙ ƙ ʞ ϗ ҡ
[L] Ɩ ƪ ɫ ɭ ʆ ʟ ˡ Ꮭ ℒ ℓ
[M] Ɯ ɱ ʍ ℳ
[N] η Ɲ ƞ ɲ ɳ ɴ Ϟ ℕ
[O] ° Θ ˚ ö Ø Φ δ θ φ ۝ ☉ ∅ Ʊ ʘ σ φ ٥ Ꭷ ℴ
[P] ¶ ρ φ Þ þ Ƥ ƥ ƿ ℘ բ ք ℘ ℙ
[Q] Ʊ Ǫ ǫ ʠ ϥ ℚ
[R] ® Ʀ ɼ ɽ ɾ ʀ ʁ ʳ ʶ ր ℛ ℜ ℝ ℞
[S] § ∫ Ƨ ƨ ʂ ʃ ʅ ˢ ϛ ֆ ى Ꭶ
[T] ح π ŧ ƫ Ƭ ƭ Ʈ ǂ ʇ ʈ τ Ϯ ϯ ィ
[U] ʉ ʊ ʋ υ ϋ և
[V] Ɣ Ʋ ʋ ν Ѵ ѵ
[W] ψ ω ϖ Ɯ ʍ ʷ Ѡ ѡ ཡ Ꮚ Ꮤ
[X] ɤ ˣ χ ℵ
[Y] ϒ Ÿ ÿ Ƴ ƴ ʎ ʏ ʸ ˠ
[Z] ζ ☡ Ƶ ƶ Ȥ ȥ ʐ ʑ Հ ℤ
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List by SpecialAmp posted hace más de un año
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1.Jump off mount Everest 2.Crash a car into McDonald's 3.kill britney spears 4.eat ur own arm 5.burn sombody with gasoline THX FOR READING!!! well i'm new to fanpop so can u request me???? plz :) :) :) :) Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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Guide by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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I'm goin' down to South Park gonna have myself a time,
(Kyle + Stan) Friendly faces everwhere humble folks without temptation,
I'm goin' down to South Park gonna leave my woes behind,
(Cartman) Ample Parking día o Night, people spouting, "Howdy, Neighbor"
I'm headin' down to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind,
(Kenny) I like girls with big vagina, I like girls with big fat titties
So come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine. ______
______________
_________________
--________________-________
____________
___________
________________
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Article by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?"
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the siguiente week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"
And the owner says, "I told tu I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell tu again, I don't sell to potheads!!!"
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can tu tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."
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Opinion by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do tu want?" "I'm calling to reportar my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood." "Thank tu very much for the call, sir." The siguiente day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"

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Opinion by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he dicho "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just amor alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and descripción and he put the man inside and dicho "see tu in 100 years" and locked the door.


To the segundo man he asked the same pregunta and the man replied "oh man I just amor to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil dicho "see tu in 100 years" and locked the door.


The third man's answer to the pregunta was "oh man I just amor weed! Im high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see tu in 100 years".
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