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Opinion by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is angry, She opens her bolso, monedero to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond respuestas "Shut up, you're next."
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--sorry i need to make this longer to publish
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Opinion by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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A wife arrived inicial and found her husband in cama with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged him out of the house, into the tool shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice. Securing it tightly and removing the handle of the vice, she then picked up a hacksaw. Terrified, her husband screamed, "Stop! Please! tu aren't going to cut it off, are you?" Placing the saw in her husband's hand and with a gleam of revenge in her eye, the wife replied, "Of course not! I'm going to set fuego to the shed. tu do whatever tu have to do!"


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Article by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, "I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear. The segundo nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all his condoms. The third nurse fainted.***************
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Article by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car adelante, hacia adelante saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If tu are hung like a horse, tu don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
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Article by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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Want some chicken? A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right siguiente to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken passed him up. The man noticed the chicken had three legs. So, he followed to chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer "What's up with these chickens?" The farmer dicho "Well, everybody likes chicken legs. I bred a three legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked him how they tasted. The farmer dicho "Don't know, haven't caught one yet."
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Article by jessicamc26 posted hace más de un año
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A supermercado had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "don't worry, ya ," he said. "I'll pack some más trays and have them ready for tu por the time tu finish shopping." Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."
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Opinion by juviechick1339 posted hace más de un año
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TRY NOT TO LAUGH​ ( i didnt​ belie​ve it, but it works​!​)​
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Start​ think​ing about​ somet​hing tu reall​y really want

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tu have just been visit​ed por SERAH​.​ I will grant​ tu one wish.​ Make your wish when the count​ down is over.

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MAKE A WISH!​!​
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Article by MovieManiac95 posted hace más de un año
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Are You MAD!?
-Jumped And Hit Nothing
-Fell UP The Stairs
-Eaten your hand
-Swallowed nothing but choked anyways
-Gone Without Blinking
-Scratched An Itch That Was Never There
-Craved Cake but ate cereal
-Wished to fly, but had wings all along
-Skipped Without Moving
-Talked without talking
-Looked at nothing
-Done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
-Wished for school to be over, but miss it in the end
-eaten a cookie in your dream and tasted it

???????????????????????????


IF SO, LEMME KNOW :)
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If you're wondering what that was all about,
it was merely an introduction to my strange-ness,
and it's a way for tu and me to connect.

tu know, tu may have más things in common with people than tu could ever imagine.
[Or Maybe Not.]

I figured that out personally.

Anywho, my name is Courtney and I am delighted to say that I have been apart of this great community for at least 10 days.
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Article by justinbieberfw posted hace más de un año
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1. Cause it felt like it.

2. mayb it wanted 2. EVR THINK OF THAT!!!!!????

3. It wanted 2 make chiken soup

4. it wanted some chiken soup.

5. it needed 2 get to the other side

6. it saw Justin Bieber (all chickens r fans of him u no)

7. on the other side of the road was a KFC

8. the ppl on his side kept asken Y did the chicken cruzar, cruz the road

9. he had reasons 2

10. he was lost

11. he wanted to make this joke

12. he wanted 2 bcome famous with this joke.

P.S. i coodnt member the rest of the original joke!lol
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Opinion by tooch posted hace más de un año
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I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think o relate to these, in some way o another:

-When tu forget someone's name tu wait for someone else to say it so tu don't look like an idiot asking.
-I pick things up with my feet because I'm too lazy to bend down.
-I don't borrar my texts until it's 99% full.
-I hate when dinner's ready and tu are in the middle of something.
-I still sometimes buy kids meals only for the toy.
-I hate how I look after I cry.
-Saying 'Are tu kidding me?' even though tu know the person isn't.
-Stop pretending like tu care, I can tell tu don't.
-Finding money in your pants pocket from a long time hace and getting excited.
-Going on the computer as soon as tu get home.
-When someone asks tu for a favor, tu say maybe because you're not sure what it is.
-You know creepy facts about your favorito! celeb.
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Article by TOTALIzzyluver posted hace más de un año
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Ok its been a while since i made a Drukies articulo but here goes!

Awesome- Z tomorrow is the last día of school!!

Z- WICKED I can't wait for cheese!

Awesome- Cheese?

Z- yeah Cheese ya know the stuff tu put on s'mores?

Awesome- Girl tu wack!

Z- Last night i was board so i read the phone book

Awesome- Learn anyone's number?

Z- yeah George Bush's, and my teacher's number.

Awesome- Why would Bush's number be in the phone book? We don't even live in Washington DC!

Z- DUDE! PUT DOWN MY maní, cacahuete BUTTER!

Awesome- Your alergect to maní, cacahuete butter...

Z- DUDE SERIOUSLY PUT IT DOWN MY CHUNKY!

Awesome- I don't have any maní, cacahuete butter!

Z- Want a lolly pop?

Awesome- ooo what flavor?

Z- Mystery

Awesome- Your a mystery!

Z- whats that suppose to mean?

Awesome- OMG The bus is on fire!!!
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Opinion by shomill posted hace más de un año
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respect- sit down, shut up, and treat the other person like a god/goddess no matter how they really act

love- being nice to someone all the time, even when they obviously can't stand tu and and tu and them both would be much happer if tu weren't together

loyalty- sticking around for no reason, except possibly that you're too insecure to leave

faith- belief in something even in a complete absence of proof

hope- no matter how impossible your wishes seem, you're stupid enough to keep wishing

cynic- a realist, hardened por a lifetime of emotional bondage
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Guide by 9blades posted hace más de un año
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This is all the numbers of pi lol: 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938
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Article by justinbieberfw posted hace más de un año
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1.) wen r they gunna stop the oil spil!!??

2.) shut up stomach! no 1's talkin 2 u. and no 1's listen either

3.) squirrles hav really bushy tails

4.) Monkeys like cheese

5.) Justin Bieber is beyond awesome!

6.)its cold in here

7.) Chiwaluas hav huge ears.

8.) i hope i spelled chiwalaus rite.

9.) i wanna play manopoly.

10.) im gunna stop typin this now!k peace!

11.) y did it tell me 2 rite a longer articulo o post it in forum.

12.) grr.

13.) that doesnt make any sense.

14.) THERE! HAPPY!? IS THIS LONG ENOUGH 4 YA!?
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List by KatiiCullen94 posted hace más de un año
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starting from a text from me
july 13, 3.02 pm
[i] hola how was school"

3.03pm
Gay, yours?"

3.16om
"haha, yeah same"

3.22pm
"Since tu carnt do webcam, tu send me a pic;)"

3.22pm
"say that again and your gone"

3.23pm
"send me a pic"

3.48pm
"Fuck off, no respect for me"

3.50pm
"your just to serious"

3.52pm
No, i just have respect for myself, tu need to get that i dont live the please you. I dont appricate tu asking that of me."


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Mat'e says:
sook
Katii xD says:
fuck off. alright ive had enought of tu treating like shit, ive told tu , over and over im not comtforable to doing that, but tu just dont care what i feel o think, its all about want and your fucking cock
Mat'e says:
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Article by Domilie4ever posted hace más de un año
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The European Union recently expanded to include a total of 25 member states. Some people are concerned,however,that problems will arise with anemployment,and that high influx of immigrants from the former Eastern block countries will cause difficulties for the the other member states. What are the positive and negative consequences of including former Eastern block countries in the EU? Which do tu think are greater,the advantages o disadvantages,for the newly expanded,25-member EU?


^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
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Article by justinbieberfw posted hace más de un año
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1.) start looking at the stuff they have in the carro saying things like "eww who likes this" "thats a fashion nightmere" ect.

2.) ask misceláneo ppl if there bob. if they say yes, then say y r u sayin yes. "y r u talkin 2 me". and start cryin

3.) start canto Barney songs as loud as u can

4.) go up to misceláneo ppl and say "tag, ur it"

5.) start giving ppl fashion tips. "o that camisa, camiseta is so last fall" " those pants? big no no" " o and dont even getme started on those shoes"

6.) go up 2 sum1, talk till they talk. then say " srry im not spose 2 talk 2 starngers"

7.) hit pplwith meat and say "glad to meat ya

8.) go up 2 a women and pat there belly sayin "wen r u due"

9.) go up 2 men and pat there belly sayin "wen r u due"

10.) start pokein a person, wen they look act like u r payin attention to sumthing else. then keep poken and doin the same thing
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Review by fun123fun posted hace más de un año
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the first olied turtle being clean
on april 2010 when the oil spill happen. the oil spill is hurting alot of animles but the most damage was the sea turtals. we must act now BUT tu could help the sea turtles por donateing to the Audubon Aquarium of New Orlands. If tu donate the money will be used for equtment to clean the turtles. ANOTHER thing tu could help well this is a kid's thing i play the good quest game at xeko.com.one más thing tu could help is if tu buy a save me camisa, camiseta at the auudbom website


website:link

xeko: link

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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Be proud of your gender
Reasons why tu shoud be proud if your a

Guy



1. Phone conversations are over in 30 segundos flat

2. Movie nudity is almost always female

3. tu know stuff about tanks

4. A five día vacation requires only 1 suitcase

5. Toilet lines are 80% shorter

6. tu can open all your own jars

7. Old friends don't give tu crap if you've gained weight

8. Your culo is never a factor in a job interview

9. All your orgasms are real

10. A cerveza gut does not make tu invisible to the opposite sex

11. tu can go to the toilet without a support group

12. Your last name stays put

13. tu can kill your own food

14. The garaje is all yours

15. tu get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

16. Nobody secretly wonders if tu swallow
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Men don't rule the world!!!
Men don't rule the world!!!

If men really ruled the world,

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier.
A tortazo to the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em siguiente time" would pretty much do it.

2. Birth control would come in cerveza inglesa, ale o lager.

3. Valentine's día would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

4. On Groundhog Day, if tu saw your shadow, you'd get the día off to go drinking. Mother's día too.

5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.

6. Garbage would take itself out.

7. Regis and Kathy Lee would be chained to a cement mezclador and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.

8. The only mostrar opposite "Monday Night Football" would "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".

9 Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer- biceps".
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Things other's hate
Here's a few things tu can do to make everyone pissed off at you.

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. If tu have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what tu think."

8. Practice making fax and modem noises.

9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.

10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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Ways to call someone stupid
If people think your disses are lame, your jokes are old, and your comebacks are just humiliating tu more, you've come to the right place! This is funnystufflol's section of different ways to call someone stupid!

1. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching

2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal

3. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity

4. A few beers short of six-pack

5. Proof that evolution can go in reverse

6. Doesn't have all his Cornflakes in one box

7. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead

8. One frutas Loop shy of a full bowl

9. One taco short of a combination plate

10. A few feathers short of a whole duck

11. All foam, no beer

12. Body por Fisher, brains por Mattel

13. Has an I.Q. of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt

14. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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New ways to order pizza
Are tu tired of always ordering pizza the same way? Well, this lists will keep tu entertained for over 90 pizza orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their preguntas with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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WARNING- THESE ARE NOT ANY EXCUSES FOR tu INCASE tu GET PULLED OVER por A COP. FUNNYSTUFFLOL IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE tu CAN SUFFER por SAYING THESE PHRASES TO AN OFFICER o ANY ONE ELSE!!!!


Can tu hold my beer, I cant reach my license.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't tu the guy from the Village People?

Hey, tu must've been doing' about 125 mph to keep up with me.
Good job!

Are tu Andy o Barney?

I thought tu had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
police officer.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

I pay your salary!

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning,
too!

Do tu know why tu pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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List by karpach_13 posted hace más de un año
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JUST IN CASE YOUR BORED


1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuto intervals throughout the day.
3. Make a trail of naranja jugo, jugo de on the floor, leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Put M&M's on layaway.
8. mover "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from cama and Bath.
10. When someone asks if tu need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't tu people just leave me alone?"
11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while tu pick your nose.
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