misceláneo artículos | Original artículos on fanpop

7

posted by TeamSongz4eva

**I got this from the internet again but i do not see why tu would want to be offensive at a funeral..but anywho this reminds me of Death At A Funerla^^**

1.Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she have sex with you.

2.Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until tu find your contact lens.

3.Punch the body and tell people he hit tu first.

4.Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

5.Ask someont to take a snapshot of tu shaking hands with the deceased.

6.At the cemetary, play taps on a kazoo.

7.Walk around telling people that you've seen the will and they're...

3

A stupid story to read

posted by moolah

Isaleia stepped stupidly out into the upset sunshine, and admired Jason's leg. "Ah," she sighed, "That's an angry sight."

Jason climbed off the cell phone and walked idioticly across the césped, hierba to greet his lover. Isaleia patted Jason on the wrist and then tried to throw him lovingly, but without success.

"That's all right," Jason said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not terrible," Isaleia. "Not as terrible as the time we threw in a trench."

Jason nodded huskily. "We were yucky back in those days."

"Our arms were younger, and we had a lot más fun with them," Isaleia said. "Everything seems...

5

Science Class II

posted by TDIlover226

I link wrote about my misceláneo and creepy class mates in my science class. I wrote down what they dicho today in my notebook today.
Their randomness is the result of the 15 minutos of talking that we get before each class ends.
We're in 2nd hour, so por then we've gotten very bored with our day, crave lunch, have to pee (8D) so we distract ourselfs por saying the most misceláneo things that we can think about until the campana rings.

Lunneman = The science teacher. He'll be retiring siguiente year. tu can definitely tell why.

------------------------------------------------------------

James: *Walks in after being...

2

HOW TO STRENGTHEN YOUR NAILS?

posted by ShiningsTar542

If tu like to always have your nails looking good, we are sure that tu feel frustrated when they chip and break.

If tu want to know how to get stronger nails, then pay attention to these useful tips. They work!

File your nails: Every week tu need to file tu nails. Why? Because when tu file your nails your body receives the message that it is time to regenerate your nails again. When this happens, the nail comes through stronger and in this way, will last longer.

Don't use too much polish: At least a couple of days a week go without polish and give your nails time to breathe.

Don't paint straight on the nail: Before painting your nails, use one capa of clear nail protecter first. This will help strengthen your nails and give them needed nutrients.

Oil: Use almond, baby o aceituna, oliva oil on your nails after tu have removed polish. You'll see how healthy this makes your nails!

3

3 nurses play jokes on a doctor

posted by jessicamc26

Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, "I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear. The segundo nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all his condoms. The third nurse fainted.***************
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1

weirdness from inside my mind

posted by orangeturnip

weirdness from inside my mind

================================================

its nice to see the rIsing sun
its nice to stay up Late
i like the sound of a hOover
i dont like the word Vegan
nobody likes my fEet
i like red except when itS blood on My sheet
this world is so rAndom
but i Like it that way
Lemons are sour
your Brain is sO frazzled
nOBody dicho it Would be easy
I am noT a Hairy monster
Bann the bomb
I like that saying
i like Goats
Not as much as frogs
sInging is good
i think: Praying is worthless
pandas are cute
Legs are funny
mEn think im weird
So do women.

5

How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty!!!!!!

posted by jodith

Ok..i know some of us o most of us say NO then we feel guilty 4 sayin' it..well that happens..well her some consejos 4 saying No w/felling guilty:

*Are tu chronically overcommitted? Rushing from one task to another,
with no time for yourself? The key is to have a strong vision of what
you want to say yes to. Then you'll feel far más confident saying no.

1-Decide which activities tu truly love. If tu stay focused on those things, then the siguiente time tu are asked to volunteer o get involved in a time-consuming activity, just check in. If the request takes tu too far from what tu are already...

5

canada!!! ( if your not canadian tu wont get the joke.)

posted by huugh

One day, two american tourists were driving through Nova Scotia, argueing about the name of the town. Finally, assuming neither of them were right, they decided to stop and have something to eat for lunch. When they got into the restraunt, the waitress asked them if they were ready to order. Yeah, but first could tu pronounce the name of where we are,veeerryyy slllooowwwlllyy? dicho the wife, smiling. Of course, the waitress said, noticing the two were american.

Tiiiiiimmmmmm Hooooorrrrrttttoooonnnnsss.

Hope that made tu laugh.

Here are 2 misceláneo facts:
They don't sell Smarties o Shreddies in America.
They dont have Walmart in America.

1

Story of a Vampire girl ch 2

posted by Fangirl99

Chapter 2:the mysterious sign

Vanessa Colorado of Waysway school was going to her locker to get her stupid homework. She was tried,in pain,and achy. She thought it was just a cold,but it was a lot worse than she knew. “oh,look who the cat dragged in,”said Susan,the meanest chic in school.

“shut up,ok?”Vanessa dicho sternly. “im in a really bad mood.”

“why? Cause tu realized your having a bad hair day?”katie asked. the 3 laughed.

“hey!leave her alone!”called out kylie,who was walknig to her locker.

“oh,look,im so scared,what are tu gonna do about it?”taunted susan.

“thats...

2

Mysterious amor chapter 6

posted by lilred96

Mysterious love
-chapter six-

As we walked down the hall he looked like he wanted too say something but he didnt.
So I said"Is there somthing wrong,do I look bad o somthing?"
no tu look beautiful dont ever think tu are not the prettyest thing in the world" He said
"I am sorry." He said...

"For what mathew?"I said
"For upsetting you." "You didnt dont worry" I said

By then we had reached the art room when the teacher dicho "Class tu will need a piece of paper."
We both sat down in our seats and took out a piece of paper and then the teacher dicho "I want tu to draw what ever tu feel in your heart.What...

parte superior, arriba TEN HORROR iconos

posted by Canada24

I made this lista before, but I guess I deleted it. Not sure why.. But it gives me an excuse to do again.. I hope I can do it better too..

10: NORMAN BATES:

"We all go a little mad sometimes."

Only reason he's last is because I never watched the movies, I don't know the francise. But come on, it's Psycho, of coarse it goes on the list. To the meme'd to hell violin, to the famish twist he was a crossdresser with división, split personality. This movie is a icon, it's been studied and talked about to death..

9: VALEK:

While he's no Pazuzu (but who is), Valek is in my opinion the best...

Canada24 respuestas to TEMBLR posts

posted by Canada24

#1:
POST: I don't want my baby boy to he straight, I want it gay.. If it's straight, I'll put it to adoption straight away!
ME: Don't worry little lady. If your the kids first impression of what a woman is, he'll either be gay o a serial killer..

#2:
POST: I'm bored.. Somebody fuck be.
ME: I would, but tu might cough on me, and I might catch your stupid.

#3:
POST: How do Christians reproduce, if they think sex is a sin, how do they have babies!?
ME: No, no, your mistaking Christians for temblr feminists., they consider tu a rapist for "having a penis"

#4:
POST: Who trying to get me pregnant?...

1

5 "necessary evil" characters

posted by Canada24

#1: JASON BRODY:
Starting off as your average immature dare devil. But then Vaas kidnapped him and his brother Grant.. And during their escape Vaas coldly murders poor Grant and Jason is unable to save the poor guy. This being being one of them main reasons Jason tracks down and kills Vaas, though not too many sympathize the death of Vaas, despite how badass he is.
Not only that but Jason becomes a unstoppable force do to the harsh ways of the island destroying both his innocence, and even his sanity.
But Jason uses this, not for bad, but for the sole purpose of rescuing his friends and family...

394

frases about backstabbing and ex-friends.

posted by monLOVEbrucas

-Im sorry did my back hurt you're knife?

-Never turn you're back on a friend, thats the best target.

-While you're stabbing my back, tu can kiss my culo too.

-All the mistakes in the world couldnt measure up to the día i thought i could trust you.

-Yeah, being apathetic is a pathetic way to be...
but I don't care, what matters to tu does not matter to me

-When your up, your friends know who tu are.
When you're down, tu know who your friends are.

-You can't laugh last If I stab tu in the throat with...the cuchillo tu left in my back.

-I was the one who dicho things changed;
you were the one who proved...

132

FUNNY INSULTS..must read

posted by iluvsmj

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at tu trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but tu my friend!! yes you!! tu CAN kiss MY ASS*******

If tu didn't have feet tu wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do tu wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for tu %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...

724

10 Fun Things To Do That Freak Out Total Strangers

posted by BellaSwan636

1) Follow complete strangers around for 10 minutes, then speak into your collar and say, "Harrold, we have a situation. Subject 367 is unresponsive. Code 163!"

2) When tu get onto the elevator, laugh hysterically for 5 seconds, then glare at the other passengers as if they are crazy.

3)Run up the "down" escalators, shrieking hysterically, and when tu reach the top, fall silent and glare at other shoppers as if they are crazy.

4) Approach a stranger in any Wal-Mart and hand them a espátula, espátula de and say, with authority, "The future of the Earth depends on it." Abruptly turn around and walk away....

2

The Short-Lived Micronation of Rose Island

posted by tdafan121

Rose Island before its destruction

-The Republic of Rose Island (Respubliko de la Insulo de la Rozol in Esperanto, the official language of the once-micronation)
-Area: .04 km (4305 sq. ft.)
-Date of foundation: June 24, 1968
-Leader: President Giorgio Rosa
-Language: Esperanto
-Currency: Mill
-Location: Adriatic Sea, between Cesnatico and Rimini, Italy

The Republic of Rose Island (Esperanto: Respubliko de la Insulo de la Rozoj) was a short-lived micronation on a man-made platform in the Adriatic Sea, 11 km (7 mi) off the coast of the province of Forlì, Italy.

In 1967, Italian engineer Giorgio Rosa funded the construction of a 400...

2

RANT - Listing TYPES of people that I dislike and those who I like. (My POV)

posted by -RandomChick-

First, lets start of with the 'Those who I dislke me' list...

Braggers - People who constantly talk non - stop about their perfect little lives.

Attention seekers - People who constantly talk about something that happened (to them) o mostrar off in front of others. (E.G: Last night my cat had a corazón attack - Pulling the spotlight onto them)

Those who look for self pity - People who look for pity in those around them. (E.G: My mum beat me last night - Expecting those who care to 'aww' and stick up for them.)

Teachers Pets - Those annoying little suck ups sitting way to close to the teachers desk...

11

Funny and/or Interesting Phobias! (They're all real!)

posted by XDRoseLuvsHP

Achluophobia: fear of sourness

Agyrophobia: fear of crossing the street

Alektorophobia: fear of chickens

Anthrophobia: fear of flowers

Arachibutyrophobia: fear of maní, cacahuete mantequilla sticking to the roof of your mouth

Aulophobia: fear of flutes

Barophobia: fear of gravity

Bibliophobia: fear of books

Blennophobia: fear of slime

Cacophobia: fear of ugliness

Cathisophobia: fear of sitting

Dendrophobia: fear of trees

Genuphobia: fear of knees

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia: fear of long words

Hypertrichophobia: fear of hair

Ichthyophobia: fear of fish

Koinoniphobia: fear of rooms

Lachanophobia: fear of vegetables...

3

Why? (Please read)

posted by ITF

por Jami Sassone

The man with the metal rod returns today
He summons me in the most painful way
It burns. It stings. It's scorching hot.
I yell, "please stop!" He will not
Why?

To the rack; I brace for the worst
He violates me again; this time's not the first
Back to my cage, to wonder how long
Yearning for respuestas to what I've done wrong?

Nine months later the answer arrives
I now have someone for whom to survive
Three times I've felt love, one being today
Three times, as well, it's been taken away.
Why?

My leche is for you, not him all
You enjoy what tu eat, but remember my calls
When the cheese melts nicely...