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Opinion by tokidoki123 posted hace más de un año
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[The Simpsons] 1F02 - Homer Goes To College #255
Homer: I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F05 - Bart's Inner Child #32
Skinner: Damn...they're very slowly getting away!
Moe: They're heading for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not.
Moe: Well, let's go to the old mill anyway -- get some cider!
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F06 - Boy Scoutz 'N the capucha, campana #86
Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals!... except the weasel.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F06 - Boy Scoutz 'N the capucha, campana #87
Homer: How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach tu how to sing to trees? And build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh? [His chair collapses] D'oh! Stupid poetic justice.
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Opinion by tokidoki123 posted hace más de un año
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 116 - Diamonds #385
Marie: Oh I used to amor Valentines Day!... then I met your father.
Frank: I used to amor every day.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 121 - Fascinating Debra #409
Debra: There's nothing funny about me to imitate y'know?
Ray: Oh, what are tu talking about? Here I'll do you. "Ray, get off of me, it's not your birthday"
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 202 - Father Knows Least #380
Ray: Look, tu have to do what Mommy says.
Ally: Why?
Ray: 'Cause I do.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 207 - Anniversary #381
Marie: We almost got divorced.
Frank: There's a sad word��'- almost.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 208 - The Children's Book #382
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Opinion by tokidoki123 posted hace más de un año
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[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits siguiente Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have tu tried mostrando him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like tu - very homosexually.
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - pescado Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty bucks!
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks!
Contributed por funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S04E02 - Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High #184
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Guide by tdafan121 posted hace más de un año
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I know I've been going on about this a lot lately, but I want to challenge every single one of tu to try and start a chain reaction of kindness. I've recently had a Rachel's Challenge assembly at my school. We have one every few years. But this time, we had new material that really inspired me to begin my own chain reaction. Rachel's Challenge involves five challenges:
1. Look for the best in people
2. Dream big
3. Choose positive influences
4. Speak with kindness
5. Start your own chain reaction

Accepting and achieving these challenges isn't a hard thing to do if tu really decide to try. mostrando amor and kindness to a few people every día can start those people mostrando kindness, and then begin a chain reaction of kindness.
If tu don't know the background of Rachel's Challenge, this is it: Rachel Joy Scott was the first one to be shot and killed in the 1999 Columbine High School shooting. Rachel kept journals and wrote essays filled with her ideas and what became her Challenge. She believed that if one person could take the time to mostrar some kindness, that it could start a chain reaction of kindness. Rachel always dicho that she...
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Opinion by vvfrankie posted hace más de un año
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take a base ball bat
hit her in the head until she gets knocked out and tie her in a chair then ask her retarted preguntas
when she respuestas tortazo her in the face and say WRONG ANSWER *extra poinds if u sit on her lap* do this 2 all of your teachers its so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Article by nidoqueen posted hace más de un año
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1)read something over and over that tu thing that think is funny that tu o someone publicado on fanpop.
2)a nice cup of coffee.
3)a nice cup of hot coco.
4)a nice brakefast(sorry if mis spelled).
5)do something to make yourself laugh.
trust me i works to laugh your head off before tu go to school, work, cherch o when your at inicial i just got pardo, dun lectura a 100 times over what i publicado on an rp and it was funny i put the words "BONE HEAD" 10 times then put "YOU ARE HOPELESS!" and i'm still laughing my head off so it helps to at lest laugh to start your día off right
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Opinion by Thecharliejay posted hace más de un año
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Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If tu keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a lista of "pros" and "cons" to help tu better understand why you're seeking amor o acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things tu can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't take it personally. Perceiving the situation as a personal attack, is not advised. There is no point por contemplating why. In fact, it may create a mysterious attraction to them therefore prolonging infatuation, not to mention causing tu a world of pain.
4.    5
Plan wisely. Set aside a time for any duration. por reflecting, not brooding, tu gain insight for your siguiente possible crush.
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List by softball12 posted hace más de un año
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I amor being random!!!! I amor pie too!!! And Im really hyper and i amor dogs, cats..... ahhhahahah ok anyways pie is good!!! Im boredd and typing nonsense!! hahahahah I llove softball and chapstick, and tigger, winnie the pooh, music, giraffes, piglet pans(;)) I like cCHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SOrry but this articulo is pointless to read lol :) (Im random)
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List by PsychadelicSkye posted hace más de un año
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers tu know.
12.Strangers tu don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to borrar above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill them for security purposes.
16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18.The men in white coats are not your friends.
19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
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List by PsychadelicSkye posted hace más de un año
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60 Fun ways to order a pizza


1. If using a touch-tone, press misceláneo numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

4. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

6. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

7. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

8. Tell them to put the crust on parte superior, arriba this time.

9. Sing the order to the tune of your favorito! song from Metallica's Master of Puppets CD.

10. Do not name the toppings tu want. Rather, spell them out.

11. Put an extra edge in your voice when tu say "crazy bread."
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List by Smilebaby05 posted hace más de un año
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[b] Haha, Some Funny Things To Do While Class Is Going On.. :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-------------~~~~~~~~~­~~~­~~~­~

1) Bring some libros to class and read them instead of paying attention o doing any work.

2) Walk around class begging for spare change.

3) Chew on your arm until someone notices.

4) Change seats every time the teacher turns his/her back.

5) After the teacher explains something, laugh really loud and say "Oh, now I get it!"

6) Lick yourself clean like a cat does.

7) After the teacher has explained something, say "Quite right, old bean" in the typical old english style.

8) Sing your preguntas to the class.

9) When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE!!! Oh, no, sorry."

10) Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.

11) Stare continually at the teacher's private areas. Occasionally lick your lips.
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Article by Emmett4ever posted hace más de un año
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I'm not sure if this is the Best Place to put it but I thought it was because of the Amount of people on here. Well, There is the Man (if tu can even call him that) named Joseph Kony. For 20 Years now he has been abducting children, forcing them to become sex slaves, kill their own parents, become child soldiers, and mutilate people's faces. And they are no older then teenagers. Some even as young as 6 and 7 years of age. Now this is not Happening in the United States but it is happening in Africa. Now some people in other countries might be like why does this concern us but it really does. Joseph Kony is moving his "army" from place to place. Now if tu have a younger brother o sister o just anyone younger then tu imagine this happening to them. These children do not end up being freed...they end up dead in a grave. And if they dont't obey the same thing happens to them. But we can change that...this año in 2012. On April 20, 2012 after the sun goes down and everyone is in their houses..we are going to cover our cities with "Kony 2012". We are going to make him famous. Why? Becuase famous people have no privacy. They can't go anywhere without being recognized. And that' s...
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List by PsychadelicSkye posted hace más de un año
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~A bucket lista (for those who don't know) is a lista of things tu want to do before tu die.
~This lista I made is all in FUN
~Not all the things listed are meant to be taken seriously
~Make a lista of your own if tu enjoyed this :)

1- Fall in amor with a werewolf..
2- Write a book about a wizard named Harry Potter and...wait J.K. Rowling already wrote about that...shiz nuggets
3- Write a book about a girl named Bella that falls in amor with a vampire named Edw- tu KNOW WHAT I GIVE UP ON escritura A BOOK! ALL THOSE IDEAS ARE TAKEN now im sad
4- Understand algebra
5-Have my own cooking mostrar ...even tho im a terrible cook
6- Understand why there is a squirell underwater in spongebob
7- Dress up like Edward scissor-hands for siguiente Halloween!
8- Try to not get sued for cutting little girls hair off dressed as Edward scissor hands..
9- Scream "RAWRrrrrr " in public and not have people judge me
10- Develop super powers
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Article by dizzydiscgirl posted hace más de un año
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Hi peeps, I just had an idea so I made a spur of the moment article!!!
So, what you've gotta do is write a single word in the comentario box (make sure it's relevant to the one above it!) and eventually it will make a story!!!
E.g:
There
Once
Was
A
Carrot
Called
Bill!

Get it? Ok, the starting word is...
Who




Ghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghhghg



Just filling up el espacio so the articulo will ACTUALLY POST HOW LONG DOES THIS THING HAVE TO BE?!?!?
.."........."....."...."........
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Guide by JamesK95 posted hace más de un año
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1) The Hard man act - guys will put on an act of being hard for 2 reasons: a) They are with mates and having some banter. If ther is banter, there is Hard man acting. b) They fancy you. Some guys will try to give the impression that they are strong, athletic etc. But this is only one way of a guy trying to impress you. If a guy does not do this, it doesn't mean he doesn't fancy you. (see 2)

2) Guys will be sensitive. A guy will be mature and caring around tu if he fancies you. He wants to mostrar he's not just thinking about sex, and is after a meaningful relationship. He wants to present himself as someone tu can trust and depend on.

3) For a gender that spends a lot of its time boasting about penis sizes, when it comes to asking tu out, it is rare that we have the balls. We like to have as much confirmation as we can that tu like us back so we don't make fools of ourselves, o destroy a friendship. A mutual friend who gives consejos to both sides is very effective in speeding the process of building up the courage. If a very close friend of yours has dado him reason to believe tu like him, he is a lot más likely to ask tu out.
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Article by VoicesInMyHead posted hace más de un año
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My name is Chris
I am three
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
o else im locked up
All día long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks arent inicial
When my mommy does come inicial
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Chariles bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the muro
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
Im so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
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Article by eslisle4254 posted hace más de un año
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I found this poem and i felt i needed to post it


mes One

Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I amor the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your corazón beat is my favorito! lullaby.

mes Two

Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If tu could see me, tu could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my inicial though. It is so nice and warm in here.

mes Three

tu know what Mommy, I'm a girl !! I hope that makes tu happy. I always want tu to be happy. I don't like it when tu cry. tu sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with tu even though tu can't hear me.

mes Four

Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
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Article by eslisle4254 posted hace más de un año
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My name is Chris
I am three
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
o else im locked up
All día long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks arent inicial
When my mommy does come inicial
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Chariles bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the muro
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
Im so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
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Article by icuSTALKER posted hace más de un año
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She's beautiful...
Her brown eyes sparkle.
Her nails are perfect.
Her golden brown hair shines like polished wood.
She is an average height for twenty-one.
She's playful, friendly.
She never gets mad.
She loves food.
She hugs tu a lot.
Don't tu amor her?
I do...
I amor my dog.
:D:D:D:D:D:D
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Opinion by cuteypuffgirl posted hace más de un año
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apoyar to my friend, tu know who tu are, for the idea and the inspiration. Thank tu so much, tu are awesome :)

Perfection.
That's a word all of us have, o will have, tried to accomplish. I'm pretty sure one of tu out there's trying to be the parte superior, arriba of the class o parte superior, arriba of your sports team o getting the attention of someone o trying to make your parents proud o something. And I'm pretty sure once o twice one of us has failed. We've all felt insecure at one point, felt misery, darkness and pain. We've all felt the need to take our lives away o draw blood o run away o something of that sort. But none of us realized something: We are who we are and that should be good enough for the person. Does it matter if one person doesn't appreciate you? Does it matter if you're not the center of attention? Ever feel like giving up? DON'T. Giving up will amount to nothing because life without faith and confidence is nothing. Nothing, I tell. Ever feel as though that other bitch/guy/girl/@$$#$##^$^* is better than you? DON'T. Cuz tu are special in your own way, whether tu realize it o not. So keep your head held up high and be proud! Think positive and...
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List by SymmaGirl2 posted hace más de un año
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Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. -Mother Teresa

With the new día comes new strength and new thoughts. -Eleanor Roosevelt

A creative man is motivated por the desire achieve, not the desire to beat others. -Ayn Rand

Act as if what tu do makes a difference. It does. -William James

Always desire to learn something useful. -Sophocles

Always do your best. What tu plant now, tu will harvest later. -Og Mandino

Be gentle to all and strict to yourself. -Saint Teresa of Avila

Either tu run the day, o the día runs you. -Jim Rohn

Even if tu fall on your face, you're still moving forward. -Victor Kiam

If tu can dream it, tu can do it. -Walt Disney

If tu ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud. -Emile Zola

If you've got talent, protect it. -Jim Carrey

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Article by APWBD112 posted hace más de un año
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So this is a part from a story I'm escritura and I was wondering if anyone like's this shit so tell me what tu think......

While they were walking through the forest Arianna noticed that Alex didn’t have many armors, she was a warriors right didn’t they need a lot of these? “Hey Alex I was….” but she didn’t say anything más Alex turned around quick and dicho “Don’t call me Alex here my name is Velocius Quam Ceteris it mean faster then the rest……” and she turned around again. “Huh okay, but I was thinking don’t tu need más of tu know armor are tu save like this?” “Faster then the rest I don’t need any armor” she said. What ever had happened Alex was different, like all of her laughter had been sucked away. “But Alex….I’m sorry Velocius can I call tu Vel?” she asked “My friends call me Vivos it’s shorter then Velocius but it sill means the same but the masters call me that…..” she dicho and when she dicho master it sounded like she didn’t like to say it like there was something about it something Arianna had never heard from her friend. It was a beautiful weather the sun was shining and cast shadows all over...
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Article by 1BTRfan posted hace más de un año
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Hi my name is Amanda and this is how to service 7th grade. On the first día of 7th grade I was so excited to see my friends after summer yay. Well the first día of 7th grade really sucked but at least I got to see my friends. Yes it’s time to leave school. But I did not see one of my friends Hannah that sucks because she went to Luray middle. Well I’m inicial and I just talked to Hannah on the phone. She dicho “I might come back to page siguiente semester”. “Sweet school is so different without one of my best friends” I said. “If I don’t come back don’t be mad at me”. “I won’t I promise I have to leave now bye”. “Bye”.
Its día two and I still like the guy I liked last year. His name is Michel yester día I found out that he is in my last block English class with miss. J. So when I got to class today (by the way he sits right behind me oh no) his hair with JB style (before it got cut) and light brown color was perfect. His eyes the perfect shade of baby blue, he is just a little taller than me and hardly knows I exist. So I sit in my asiento today in class and Michel dicho “hi” (oh no what do I say what do I say) I thought so I dicho “hi” then he...
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List by joe-kerr posted hace más de un año
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hola everyone.
I'm back with another list. And this time, I do know who to credit. All these frases are from George W. Bush. For real. I found them online on various media sites. The ranking, however, is my own.

20    "They misunderestimated me."
     —Bentonville, Arkansas; November 6, 2000
    
19    "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter."
     —In parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008
    
18    "The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001
    
     "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." —Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002
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List by VoicesInMyHead posted hace más de un año
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Disclaimer: I don't own the questions, just the answers. Also, some of these come from a religious point of view rather than a philosophical point of view, but there the only respuestas I can think of. Please feel free to offer alternative ideas.





- What is the sound of one hand clapping? Fwip fwip fwip. If tu open and close your hand it makes this sound.





* if a árbol falls in the middle of the forest, does it make a sound? Yes. This pregunta is based on the theory that sound is a figment of imagination. But the same principle applies to the existence of the TREE'S existence. So, assuming the árbol exists in the first place, it would make a sound.




- Which came first, the chicken o the egg? The chicken. If God made Adam and Eve, He would have made two chickens. Besides, the egg/baby chick would not survive without care. (sorry to anyone I offended.)




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