After going back to my Best and Worst Dark Souls bosses, I really wanted to try out this lista again. I didn't have many games with enough bosses before, but now I feel that it is the best time to try and bring this up again. And what better game to look at than a Platinum game. Platinum games are known for having some of the best boss fights in video games... Most of the time. But when they do it right, god, do they do it right. and Madworld is no exception. It has some of the craziest bosses for a beat 'em up game. It's not the weirdest bosses Platinum has made, that would be Bayonetta, but they're weird in their own way. Some of them work, while others... Not so much. And that is what I am going to talk about today with tu all. Because, damn it, I want más people to play this game. It deserves some recognition. We'll start with the worst for now.

5: Rin Rin



Howard : "And here comes Rinrin, the fantastic kung-fu queen. Kreese, didn't the two of tu have a thing a while back?"
Kreese: "If por "thing" tu mean a 5 minuto fight that left me spitting teeth and pissing blood, yeah, then we had a thing."

Okay, so Rin Rin isn't that terrible of a boss. I can think of others that are way worse, which is why she is not higher. But the más I looked into her actual fight, the más I realized that it wasn't really that good. Her fight consist of her constantly blocking your attacks, no matter what tu do. tu could swipe at her with your chainsaw all day, but tu will not get anywhere. The only way tu can ever hit her is if tu perform a power struggle o throw bombs at her. It's a damn shame, too, that her fight is so mindlessly simple and kind of boring after a while, because she manages to have some good qualities. She has a very cool power struggle, almost sexual in a way, and her theme song, tu Don't Know Me, is one of the catchiest in the game in my opinion and really fits her personality well. Rin Rin is far from a terrible boss, but just a very basic one. I can at least say that she was used better in another game, Anarchy Reigns, where she was able to become a playable character, along with her two sisters, so thank god for that. But, as a boss, I just find her boring.

4: Little Eddie



Kreese: "You know what I don't get? I don't get why they call him Little Eddie when he's so fucking big."
Howard: "I think its supposed to be ironic."
Kreese: "...What?"
Howard: "You know, the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning, usually a humourous o sardonic literary style o form."
Kreese: "...You got beat up in school a lot, didn't you?"
Howard: "...Yes."

Okay, here's another boss that isn't terrible. Little Eddie, being the first boss of the game, isn't that bad. He gets the job of first boss done easily, but maybe a little too easily. He manages to grab hold of tu easily, and just lets tu do power struggles, while he will rarely hit you. He feels más like a roadblock that bleed when tu try to get it out of your way, and may get a free hit in, but that's a big maybe. Little Eddie does get the job done as a first boss, I understand that. He is far from a terrible boss. Honestly, he may be better than Rin Rin in some cases, but I think that it's más fun to try and stagger a boss when they block as they try to fight you, than a boss that stands there and may fight tu while tu just chip away at their health. I'm sorry that I am not finding much terrible bosses, but that's probably a good thing. Madworld has so few terrible bosses. But don't worry, because now we'll start to get to the real bad ones.

3: Martin



Kreese: "I hate this son of a bitch, Martin. The guy's a giant robot controlled via remote control por some fat fuck chicken-shit too scared to fight for himself."
Howard: Why do they let him do that?
Kreese: "Uh, probably cause he's got a giant killer robot."
Howard: "Makes sense."

Now this is a boss that I can hate on. While not annoying, Martin is just boring. Despite being a giant robot that tu have to fight, you'd think it would be más fun than this. But instead, tu are not allowed to go near the robot. tu have to avoid it, else tu will get destroyed for even attempting to try and fight it up close. Your only way of fighting it is grabbing hold of a rocket launcher and blasting it away. While that sounds fun, it isn't here. tu are resorted to slower movement and a single button to push as tu slowly watch Martin's health drain until tu eventually run out of rockets. It could have been fun, hell, we did get a fun boss fight with a giant robot in Metal Gear Rising, but clearly, we didn't get it here. And trust me, the finisher isn't much better. All it does is just explode in a generic fashion. What's Madworld known for? It's fountains of blood. Not a single drop of blood is spilled in this boss fight. There are a lot of fun fights with giant robots. This is not one of them.

#2: Frank



Howard: Oh yeah. Frank! I remember tu fighting this guy in the '07 games. He had his hand so far up your culo tu looked like an adorable hand puppet!
Kreese: Yeah, well they took the largest chunks off a bunch of dead fighters and stitched them together to make this electric motherfucker. Yeah, he's dumb as a box full of blondes, but stronger than shit with a puñetazo, ponche that'll zap the culo off ya! Clumsy fucker, though. Jack can take him if he fights smart and fast!

Frank is probably one of the coolest looking redesigns of the Frankenstein's Monster I've ever say. Okay, I wanted to bring that up... Because that is where the compliments end for this boss. Everything else is terrible. Frank is a giant boss that can swipe his fist across the stage, and unless your dodging it constantly, tu will get hit por it. And sometimes, he will hit tu with an electric puñetazo, ponche that tu can't dodge, and will cause massive damage. But you'd better be careful not to get knocked into the water, because if tu do, he will begin to electrify the water for massive damage. The only way out is to run to dry land as fast as possible or, if your a coward, like me, backflip your way out. But if tu thought the bad news ended there... You're wrong. Frank will then make a beeline for his chair and begin to heal himself. Other bosses like Elise could heal themselves, but slowly, very little, and only if tu made a mistake and let it happen. Frank can heal almost half his health and all tu can do is attack him to try and keep him from regenerating less health. He will still get health back, no matter what, so all tu can do is try to keep him at the lowest amount tu possibly can. The only bright side is that his finisher is one of the hardest to watch in the game, but that just makes it better.

1: The Shamans



Howard: Here come the Shamans
Kreese: The Bleeding corazón whine that pelaje, piel is murder, and in this case, they're abso-fucking-lutely. This pack of mangy motherfuckers chewed my culo off in the '04 games. And to this day, I still shit a little crooked. When tu hear their howl, get ready for a rabid mauling from the whole savage pack
Howard: I didn't know tu shat crooked
Kreese: Little bit. Little bit

If tu thought that it couldn't get worse, well first, pay attention to the numbering. Second, tu were wrong. Frank, while annoying and cheap, functioned, gameplay wise. The Shamans are not only annoying and cheap, but they are broken as hell. First off, their stage, Mad Castle, is a mess, filled with glitches where your controller doesn't work, and for this level only, and a mini-boss that can insta kill tu easily. Then come the Shamans to just add an extra bad taste into your mouth. They can overwhelm tu in segundos and constantly attack tu and get in the way as tu try to attack the leader of the group, will always run away from you, and don't even bother with the power struggle. Unless tu are a hundred percent sure that your controller is working, tu will end up failing when tu clearly mover the controller in the right direction. It also doesn't help that the Shamans will hit tu with attacks when tu clearly dodged the attack por a mile off. Every other boss on here was either too easy, boring, o annoying, but they functioned. They behaved the way they were programmed to. For whatever reason, The Shamans break all rules and manage to screw tu over with non-functioning controls, and it will piss tu off, even when tu are able to best them afterward. The Shamans are annoying, and unlike other bosses, don't function. Long story short: Fuck Mad Castle!

Alright, with that out of the way, let's focus on some bosses that are más fun.

5: Jude the Dude



Howard: "So this is the cowboy's tenth time in a battle. He's become a regular fan favorite, with his flashy moves and lightning-fast quick draw."
Kreese: "Howard, I hate that prick! When we fought, that dirty bastard kicked me with the spurs and tore my scrotum."
Howard: "Hm."
Kreese: "Y'know, my nuts unravled like two balls o' yarn. Y'know how fuckin' long two balls o' yarn is?!"

Jude the Dude is the segundo boss in the game, and one of the hardest if tu aren't prepared. He rides around the stage, skating on his spurs as he takes pot shots at tu and hit tu with quick kicks from his spurs. He is very quick, and if tu aren't prepared, he will easily kill you. He's quite a wake up call from the fight with Little Eddie, that's for sure. The finisher is probably my favorito! in the game, where tu take Jude's pistolas and shoot him until he is nothing but a skeleton. But the best part about him is how much content there is around him, even going outside the boss fight. Jude is the only boss to have a cut death scene, where instead of being shoot into a skeleton, his pistolas would be rammed inside his rectum and he would be launched into the sky. Yeah, that's not uncomfortable. It is also believed that he is Death Blade, the terrible mini-boss of Mad Castle, since they both patinar, skate around the area. Even MadWorld has it's terrible game theories.

4: Shogun Kokushimusou



Howard: This is what we've been waiting for, folks
Kreese: Put the kids to bed, because we don't want them to see this.
Howard: Did tu really want them to see anything up to this point?
Kreese: Shit, why not? Don't want to raise a society full of pussies
Howard: Now we're in for a fight
Kreese: Fucking A. It's time for the big boys to dance
Howard: Just like the great gladiators of ancient Rome, these two men will enter the arena and clash in hand-to-hand combat for nothing más than the entertainment of the rich and powerful
Kreese: Where the fuck did that come from?
Howard: I read it on a greeting card once

This fight is way más epic, not for the boss fight, per say (Which is still good), but for the stage it takes place in. The level beforehand was probably one of the best in the game, with hundreds of surprises from ninjas o motorcycle enemies to hundreds of ways to kill them. But the fight with the Shogun makes the level, probably the best one in the game. tu have to dodge his buzz saw staff, while each power struggle tu succeed at causing his armor to fall apart until he is left with nothing but his samurai mask. But as tu continue to fight, the stage around tu and the Shogun will begin to burn, turning the level into a burning inferno. Once tu have taken out all of Shogun's health, he will jump up onto the roof, where tu will follow and finish him off on parte superior, arriba of the dojo roof in the snow por impaling him on a spike. The level beforehand had tons of hype, and the crazy boss fight mixed with brilliant level diseño just made the fight that más incredible to me.

3: The Masters



"Kreese: Aw Man. Thunder and Sun, the fucking Father and Son geek team. They take all that pissed off "I have no social skills, and can never get laid." energy, and channel it into those wienie-ass hate sabers, that they wave around like they were at a fucking Si-Fi conventon.
Howard: I believe they referred to them as 'electroblades' when they carved their initials on your pancreas in your last matchup?
Kreese: What the fuck ever, at least I don't live in my mom's basement, o in the case of Geek Jr. Grandma's basement. "

Originally, I always considered this boss to be the best, aside from the final boss, but I found a new favorite, really. But that doesn't mean The Masters are any less amazing. They entire fight is a parody on estrella Wars, with tu fighting a clear similarity to Jedi Knights with lightsabers, o electroblades, and attack tu with the Force, o in their case, electromagnetism. They will both come at tu after one attacks, meaning tu will need to watch them as they attack you. It sounds cheap, but tu will be able to predict it so it never feels unfair if they do hit you, making it a little más fair. They will also begin to launch objects at you, which can it tu if tu aren't careful, but gives tu some free hits if tu are fast enough. They will even lift up heavy objects, where tu will have to throw them off tu and even slice a truck in half as they throw it at you. And the finisher has tu shove your chainsaw through ones chest and use their electromagnetism to smash the other against the walls before finally killing them. The Masters was probably one of the most Dark Souls-esque bosses on this lista just for how challenging they can be in numbers, and it managed to somehow be better than most of Dark Souls 2's duo bosses... Yes, I dicho it.

2: Herr Frederick Von Twirlenkiller



Kreese: "This is the airhead that blew my culo away in the Cuba Games. I still have a collapsed lung from that match!"
Howard: "Jeez!"
Kreese:"Now I have to smoke twice as much weed to get high."

Let me tell tu right now, just the appearance of this boss made me know that this would be one of the best in the game. From the sight of him to the threatening tone of his boss theme, Bang. Von Twirlenkiller uses the machines on his arms to create massive tornados that carry him across the stage and uses them as projectiles as tu rush towards him. When tu do run up to him, it becomes a fist fight, where he will even launch himself towards tu with tiny tornados. During the power struggle, tu are able to rip off one of his arms and even use it as a weapon, but that doesn't even stop him from fighting. He will just balance himself on his other arm to deliver a spin kick to you. Even with one arm, he is able to fight tu for a good amount of the fight. Once tu cut his other arm off in another power struggle, tu will launch him into the air and use his own arm to grind him up with a tornado and win the boss fight. Little Eddie was a decent first boss, and Jude the Dude was a great segundo boss, but Von Twirlenkiller was the true boss that let tu know that this was when the bosses get good. Aside from Martin... And Frank... And The Shamans- The majority of them would be good, anyway. Also, side note, Von Twirlenkiller is apparently the bassist in a band, called "The Wind Breakers". Yeah, there's a bit of Madworld Trivia for you

(THE siguiente ENTRY WILL BE SPOILERS FOR THE FINAL BOSS OF MADWORLD! STOP lectura IF tu DO NOT WANT THE GAME SPOILED FOR YOU!)

1: The Black Baron



Howard: "Jack has climbed a mountain of bodies to reach this, the pinnacle of the DeathWatch competition! Here in this amazing stadium in front of a bloodthirsty crowd of the city survivors, Jack will face his final foe in the ultimate fight for the championship!"
*Kreese: "There can be only one Number 1 in this fight to the death!"
Howard: Well, duh. It's a mathematical fact there can only be one Number 1!"
Kreese: "For the last fucking time, NOBODY dicho THERE'D BE MATH!!!!!"
Together (singing): "I BLAME OUR SCHOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSS!"

Throughout the entirety of Madworld, The Black Baron was just a character that introduced the mini games for Madworld, The Bloodbath Challenges, where he would always be beaten por his... assistant to mostrar tu how the game works, but would always come back to mostrar tu the siguiente one. So imagine everyone's surprise when they found out he was the final boss and Rank 1 in Deathwatch. The Black Baron will fight tu without any weapons o any cheap tricks. He will fight tu in a boxing ring, and only fight tu with his fists, giving tu a few quick punches. On your side, tu have the Geisha's that Jack saved from the dojo, while The Black Baron has his assistant ready to beat tu with her bat if tu are knocked out por the Baron. His boss theme, Look Pimpin, is one of the most chill and catchiest songs in the game, about how Jack is cramping the style of the Baron and the Baron wanting to bitchslap Jack. But once he has lost half of his health, the Black Barron becomes furious, and nowhere is it más clear than when Look Pimpin' changes to the song So Cold. The song becomes something más dark and threatening, and the Black Barron changes as well, where he has become pissed off. He now has lightning fast punches, an electrifying dive kick, and crazy rocket punch, and can create a black hole that will suck tu up and send tu into the crowd for massive damage, even end up as a one hit kill if you're unlucky. But when the final power struggle starts, with tu both delivering punches to the others face, before tu launch the Barron out of the stage, but is brought back for tu to continue the beat down. Finally, tu finish the Barron off por launching him into a giant dart board. The Black Barron is one of my favorito! final bosses in video games, simply just because of how a boss went from a simple hand-to-robotic-chainsaw-hand fight to a crazy battle with the other gaining insane superpowers. I amor this fight, and the Black Barron will always be my favorito! boss in Madworld. And I am so happy he is playable in Anarchy Reigns. That just made me happy inside