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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my lista of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let tu know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything o eating anything tu might spit it o something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the escoba late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bahía they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorito! vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the seta have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do tu call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do tu call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do tu make an octopus giggle ten times?
tu give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do tu make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's favorito! composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between tu and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't tu hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher dicho it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the ensalada dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do tu know if it's raining gatos and dogs?
tu step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do tu know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do tu get pikachu on a bus?
tu pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't tu dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do tu call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
tu boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton cruzar, cruz the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do tu call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's rosado, rosa and fluffy?
rosado, rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosado, rosa fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when tu drink 7 coca colas?
tu burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the pescado say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't tu trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope tu liked them. Make sure tu check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, tu answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, tu answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, tu answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, tu say “is that so?”
5. If tu so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher tu did not turn in your homework because tu were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
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posted by smileypop9
1.When tu walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a enfriador, refrigerador that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up lista is on my escritorio for the part tu would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up lista on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...
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Sweetie
Sweetheart
My love
Lover
Pumpkin
Baby
Darling
Sweetie Pie
Baby Doll
My Little Cabbage (French)
Love of my Life
Angel
Beloved
Dear
Dearest
Dear one
Deary
Flame
Heart’s Desire
Honey Bun
Poubelle
Honeybunch
Lamb
Jewel
Loveling
Pearl
Pet
Precious
Princess
Prince
My Sweet
Sugar
Treasure
True Love
Beautiful
Beauty
Gem
Saint
Light of my Life
Object of my Affection
Angel Face
Babe
Buttercup
Button
Cherub
Chica
Dumpling
Little Angel
Little Darling
Little Doll
Number One
Prize
Tootsie
Doll Face
My Idol
My Everything
My Life
Object of My Affection
True Love
One and Only
Inamorata
Inamorato
My Passion
Valentine
Dove
Honey Bunny
Smoochy
Babycake
Dream Girl
Dream...
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1)"Why, do tu find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I amor the segundo grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and tu actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...
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1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circulo, círculo that had its two sides gently compressed por a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If tu have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your friends come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary friends that tu ask their opinion of everything.

7. After tu have your bath, envolver, abrigo a bath towel around tu and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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posted by TOTALIzzyluver
1) Lick your best friend's foot for 10 seconds
2) Rub glue on your face and stick various things on it.
3) Go up to a misceláneo strange and ask them for $50 dollars for a nose job
4) Go to a public bathroom and sit on the floor and when someone walks in yell this "GO AWAY! CAN'T tu SEE I'M CLEANING!"
5)Put on a strange outfit and stand on the side of the road and throw pretzels at passing cars
6) Go to Wal-mart and go to a worker and have a conversation that goes kinda like this
YOU-Excuse me. Do tu guys sell like everything? WALMART PERSON- Yeah. YOU-So where can I find the cars? My son wants a...
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just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped por terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds estola it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket estola it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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posted by Bluekait
French Fries are deep fried in horse oil in France.

Kittens are born with blue eyes, but change when they get older.

People born in November are más likely to become serial killers.

Everything tu see is actually upside down and your brain just flips it around.

You can't actually multi-task.

Easily distracted people are the ones who are the most creative.

When a person appears in your dreams, that person misses you.

Music can lead teens to depression.

You are más likely to dream when tu are depressed.

Your odor is as unique as your fingerprint.

If tu tear off paper from bottles, tu are sexually...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF tu DON'T PASS THIS ON tu DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All día long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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posted by Crazy_NarutoKid
1.The Characters are awesome


2.It can make tu laugh so hard


3.It can make tu cry like a baby


4.The fight scenes are epic


5.Theres blood


6.They swear


7.The storyline is really good


8.Theres Ninjas'!!


9.They have Sasuke(cool)


10.The weapons they use are so coool


11.The villians are so evil.


12.It makes tu wish tu lived in the naruto world.


13.They have great opening and ending songs.


14.It makes tu think about it all the time


15.It teaches tu naruto history
added by adultswimperson
Source: google
I found this online :)

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read preguntas aloud, debate your respuestas with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that tu can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this pregunta on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious...
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Jetzt geht's los Freunde
Hier ist Markus Becker und die Mallorca Cowboys und das rote Pferd

Wir singen zusammen
Da hat das rote Pferd sich einfach umgekehrt
und hat mit seinem Schwanz die Fliege abgewehrt
Die Fliege war nicht dumm,
sie machte summ,summ,summ
Und flog mit viel Gebrumm
um's rote Pferd herum

lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok Freunde,
das war nicht schlecht für guarida, den Anfang
Aber da geht noch was
Seit ihr gut drauf? Jaaa
Habt ihr lust zu feiern? Jaaa
Dann macht euch bereit und singt mit uns zusammen


Die Fliege...
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added by Rainbow_Veins
Canada is finally getting footage on youtube so can I do this way better than from last time I put this article..

-------------------------------------------------------------------

#1:
(live audience scene):
Peele: What I often do.. I take note of things my girl dose wrong, and call her on it at the right times.
Key: (pretending to be the girl) Jordon, why'd tu leave the toilet asiento up?
Peele: perra WHY WAS tu LATE LAST NIGHT, AND I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING!?


#2:
(live audience scene):
Girl in audience: (laughing too hard)
Key: Ma'am... Breath.


#3:
Key: (texting angrily) do tu even WANT to hang out!?...
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posted by KataraLover
THIS IS A REPOST OF AN articulo THAT I ALREADY WROTE ON A DIFFERENT CLUB

This is a film that has been out for a while but I'm just now getting around to doing a full articulo review of it because I've been really busy, stressed, and emotionally drained for a while and all of that has been keeping me from reviewing it. This musical was a big deal when the trailers came out and when the movie finally came out for various reasons. It was Zac Efron's first musical movie since his days in High School Musical and Hairspray, it had freaking Hugh Jackman who always draws in a crowd, it was a brand new...
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 Lives: 999
Lives: 999
Howdy ya'll, Deathding back here to talk about a topic that I suddenly found interesting. I went on YouTube to see if anything was already done on this topic, but all I found was a bunch of "TOP 10 CHEATERS WHO GOT CAUGHT, lol XD!!!! 2017 EDITION (80K LIKES IN AN hora AND I DAB!!!!!!)"

....Needless to say, the topic intrigued me, as I've been playing a game lately that quite a few people out there tend to play not so nicely in.

I think it goes without saying that us, as gamers, want to win. We desire all of that ridiculously overpowered equipment. We grind for hours just to get a few levels up....
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added by CokeTheUmbreon