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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my lista of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let tu know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything o eating anything tu might spit it o something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the escoba late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bahía they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorito! vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the seta have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do tu call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do tu call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do tu make an octopus giggle ten times?
tu give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do tu make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's favorito! composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between tu and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't tu hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher dicho it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the ensalada dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do tu know if it's raining gatos and dogs?
tu step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do tu know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do tu get pikachu on a bus?
tu pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't tu dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do tu call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
tu boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton cruzar, cruz the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do tu call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's rosado, rosa and fluffy?
rosado, rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosado, rosa fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when tu drink 7 coca colas?
tu burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the pescado say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't tu trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope tu liked them. Make sure tu check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
 Awesome
Awesome
Tianmen Cave known as Gateway to Heaven is a natural bridge/arch and is reportedly highest elevation (1520 meters) natural arch in the World. Although it is an arch but locals call it a cave. As per local history it used to be cave and in circa 263 there was a massive collapse of the cliff face, which changed the cave into an arch. At that time the mountain was called Songliang, which was then changed to Tianmen meaning sacred.

It is 131.5 meters high, 57 meters wide and 60 meters deep. It is located close to Zhangjiajie city in western Hunan Province, China and is part of Wulingyuan Scenic Area - a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

One has to climb 999 steps to reach the top.

The whole area is very scenic and was not easily accessible. However Tianmen Mountain Cableway - reportedly the longest passenger cableway in the World with a length of 7200 meters and a height gap of 1277 meters, now brings thousands of tourists to this natural wonder.
 One has to climb 999 steps to reach the parte superior, arriba
One has to climb 999 steps to reach the top
 STUNT por U.S.S.R JET FIGHTERS
STUNT BY U.S.S.R JET FIGHTERS
 Glass path(4,700ft above sea level)
Glass path(4,700ft above sea level)
 Tianmen Mountain Cableway
Tianmen Mountain Cableway
posted by Wendy99
Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give más than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving más than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants tu to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help tu answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K l M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13...
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You’re now chatting with a misceláneo stranger. Say hi!

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

Stranger: WOOF

Stranger: WOOF

Stranger: WOOF

Stranger: WOOF

You: meow

You: meow

You: meow

Stranger: WOOF

You: meow

Stranger: WOOF

You: meow

You: NOT ANOTHER DOG! O_O

Stranger: HAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!! 8D

You: tu HAVE GOT TO BE KITTEN ME. T_T

Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA I SEE WHAT tu DID THERE!!! KI FUCKING SAW IT!!!! 8D

You: O_O

You: I AM A MAGICAL CAT.

Stranger: ZALDGFALDGASDFALDFGALDSFGASDA OH MY GOD. IM A MAGICAL BURRITO. WANNA...
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1. You're beautiful.- girls think when tu say 'hot' your looking at our body, not our personality.

2. tu look perfect.- gurls like it when men think we're perfect.

3. I wish I could see u everyday.-it makes us gurls think we're loved and tu never get tired of being with us.

4. I amor tu and only you.-Well, tu guys get the picture.

5. I will be with tu forever.

6. tu have no flaws.

7. You'll always be in my picture, even if ur not there.

8. tu shine brighter than the sun.

9. There is no reason for tu to be ashamed of your body, you're very pretty.
posted by ilovezuko23
7 Things to do when tu want to get kicked out of the DMV. por Misery.

Pretend to be looking at a magazine, and start poking the guy siguiente to you.

Tap your foot to the tune of 'Gramma Got Ran Over por a Reindeer.'

Burst out into song. Sing 'Umbrella' until one of the people siguiente to tu look at tu funny. Get up,take their hands, and start spinning the person around the waiting room.

Start saying your number softly for 6 times, then louder for 5 times, and then yell it out 9 times into the person on your right's ear.

Start speaking your own tounge. Make up a language and find an old lady. Sit down siguiente to her, and start speaking your made up languge using frightening gestures.

Start quoting your favorito! mostrar the security guard.

Take out your iPod, and start belting out the first song that plays. Jump onto the table, and do a big mostrar number. When the last word plays, do jazz hands and RUN out of the DMV.
added by CielXlizzy19
Source: lovefactsxoxo.tumblr.com
added by NectariaKiritsi
posted by TimberHumphrey
Yeah, breakfast at Tiffany's and bottles of bubbles
Girls with tatuajes who like getting in trouble
Lashes and diamonds, ATM machines
Buy myself all of my favorito! things (yeah)

Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch
Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage?
Rather be tied up with calls and not strings
Write my own checks like I write what I sing, yeah (yeah)

My wrist, stop watchin', my neck is flossy
Make big deposits, my gloss is poppin'
You like my hair? Gee, thanks, just bought it
I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it (yeah)

I want it, I got it, I want it, I got it
I want it, I got...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
25 years and my life is still
Tryin' to get up that great big colina of hope
For a destination

I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out what's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar

And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the parte superior, arriba of my lungs
"What's going on?"

And I say, hey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey
I dicho "Hey, a-what's going on?"
And I say, hey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey
I dicho "Hey, a-what's going on?"

Ooh,...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
On a cobweb afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good, we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we wanna go

In your house I long to be
Room por room patiently
I'll wait for tu there
Like a stone
I'll wait for tu there
Alone

On my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The wine was bled
And there tu led me on

In your house I long to be
Room por room patiently
I'll wait for tu there
Like a stone
I'll...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
(Ooooh)
Na-na

Yeah

I saw tu dancing in a crowded room
You look so happy when i'm not with you
But then tu saw me, caught tu por surprise
A single teardrop falling from your eye

I don't why i run away
I'll make tu cry when i run away

You could've asked me why i broke your heart
You could've told me that tu fell apart
But tu walked past me like i wasn't there
And just pretended like tu didn't care

I don't know why i run away
I'll make tu cry when i run away

Take me back 'cause i wanna stay
Save your tears for another

Save your tears for another day
Save your tears for another day

So, i made tu think that...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
Ooh yeah

I just pretend
That i'm in the dark
And i don't regret
'Cause my corazón can't
Take a loss

I'd rather be
so oblivious
I'd rather be
with you

When it's said, when it's done, yeah
I don't ever wanna know
I can tell what you've done, yeah
When i look at you

In your eyes
I see there's something burning inside you
Oh, inside you
In your eyes
I know it hurts to smile, but tu try to
Oh, tu try to
You always try to hide the pain
You always know just what to say
I always look the other way
I'm blind, i'm blind
In your eyes
You lie, but i don't let it define you
Oh, define you

I try to find love
In someone else
too many...
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posted by windwakerguy430
Hello everyone and welcome to the siguiente half of In-Indie. I was able to binge a whole lot of new indie titles to get this out and boy, do we got some greats and some… not so much. But we’re here to talk about not just a great, but one of the best. A game that many online are calling the Dark Souls of the indie scene…. Wait, that’s not rig- Hollow Knight, everybody.



So yeah, this is a game that many would compare to Dark Souls and I would as well, but not for the reasons a subhuman, like, a video game journalist, would call this a Dark Souls game. Yes, the difficulty is there, which...
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added by DeiJambastion
Source: Meh
added by SilentForce
added by ShadowFan100