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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my lista of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let tu know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything o eating anything tu might spit it o something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the escoba late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bahía they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorito! vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the seta have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do tu call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do tu call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do tu make an octopus giggle ten times?
tu give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do tu make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's favorito! composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between tu and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't tu hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher dicho it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the ensalada dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do tu know if it's raining gatos and dogs?
tu step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do tu know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do tu get pikachu on a bus?
tu pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't tu dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do tu call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
tu boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton cruzar, cruz the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do tu call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's rosado, rosa and fluffy?
rosado, rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosado, rosa fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when tu drink 7 coca colas?
tu burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the pescado say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't tu trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope tu liked them. Make sure tu check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
posted by xxXsk8trXxx
Abbaye de Belloc
Abbaye de Citeaux
Abbaye du Mont des gatos
Abertam
Abondance
Acapella
Ackawi
Acorn
Adelost
Affidelice au Chablis
Afuega'l Pitu
Airag
Airedale
Aisy Cendre
Allgauer Emmentaler
Alverca
Ambert
American Cheese
Ami du Chambertin
Anejo Enchilado
Anneau du Vic-Bilh
Anthoriro
Appenzell
Aragon
Ardi Gasna
Ardrahan
Armenian String
Aromes au Gene de Marc
Asadero
Asiago
Aubisque Pyrenees
Autun
Avaxtskyr
Baby Swiss
Babybel
Baguette Laonnaise
Bakers
Baladi
Balaton
Bandal
Banon
Barry's bahía Cheddar
Basing
Basket Cheese
Bath Cheese
Bavarian Bergkase
Baylough
Beaufort
Beauvoorde
Beenleigh Blue...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
Found this on the net. If it's been publicado here before (Because I'm not sure if it has) let me know and I'll remove it...


1. Go to order a large popcorn(like the biggest one they have). When they give it to you, look at it, then throw it on the floor angrily and start crying for no reason.

2. Wait until there's a funny part in the movie. When the laughter starts to die down, scream at the parte superior, arriba of your lungs.

3. Before the movie starts, sit near the front. Start moaning loudly and dancing wildly.

4. At the end of the movie, when the credits are rolling, stand up quickly and try to convince everyone...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Solve the puzzles por saying them out loud, over and over, faster and faster, repeating the phrase, until tu "hear" the answer.

Example: LAWN SAND JEALOUS (place) Answer: Los Angeles

1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (person)

2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (fictional character)

3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (person)

4. MOW BEAD HICK (book)

5. TALL MISCHIEF HER SUN (person)

6. CHICK HE TUB AN AN US (product)

7. THOUGH TIGHT AN HICK (thing)

8. AISLE OH VIEW (phrase)

9. TUB RAID HEAP HUNCH (TV show)

10. CARESS TROUGHER CLUMP US (person)

11. DOCKED coche fúnebre WHOSE (person)

12. THUMB ILL KEY WAKE OWL LICKS HE (place)

13. AGE ANT HUB BLOWS HEAVEN...
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-The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

-Our eyes never grow, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

-A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.

-The most common blood type in the world is type O.

-The rarest blood type in the world is type A-H, less than 12 people have it.

-Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

-You consume 1/10 of a calorie every time tu lick a stamp.

-It takes más calories to eat a piece of apio than the apio provides tu with.

-Many people think eating pescado makes tu más intelligent.(sorry - it doesn't)

-Some lions mate 50 times a day.

-No...
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posted by angy7sdg
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of

the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.




Only in America ......do people order

double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.





Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.





Only in America ......do we leave cars

worth thousands of dollars in the

driveway and put our useless basura in the garage.




Only in America ......do we buy hot perros in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.




Only in America ......do we use the...
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added by adultswimperson
Source: google
posted by KitKitty12
(A/N) there is gayness, cussing, and sex


~Jason's POV~

I had just woke up tomorrow is Pax and im really excited.

I pulled off the covers and swung my legs over the side of the cama and stood up.

I'm going to Pax with Sky, Dawn, Husky, Jerome, And Deadlox, i was excited i'd never actually met them and tomorrow i would.

I grabbed a pair of clothes and a towel and hopped into the ducha, ducha de blasting my outro song Eclipse.

Five to ten minutos later i climbed out and pulled my clothes on and brushed my hair out.

"Daily routine..done" I muttered to myself staring at the mirror.

My phone rang, i quickly grabbed...
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added by fanfly
Source: wallcoo.com
added by SummerThunder
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: didyoukno
posted by Cyrusrocks
My sister sent me this, funniest thing ever.


Best Divorce Letter, EVERRRRRR!

Dear wife:

I'm escritura tu this letter to tell tu that I'm leaving tu forever. I've been a good man to tu for 7 years & I have nothing to mostrar for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that tu quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, tu came inicial & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorito! meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. tu ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. tu don't...
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added by fanfly
Source: wallsonline.com
added by BellaMetallica
found this on the net:

13 Fun Things To Do To Get Salespeople on the Phone to Hang Up

1. If they want to loan tu money, tell them tu just filed for bankruptcy and tu could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, o is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

2. If tu get one of those pushy people who won't shut up, just listen to their sales pitch. When they try to close the sale, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping o whatever. See how long that commission...
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added by breebree446
posted by Thecharliejay
Make Him Addicted To YouSay These “Secret” Words To Make Him Fall Madly In amor With You
HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com/Love
Ask around, o if you're shy, ask a good friend to help (find out if he likes you, o is dropping hints).If tu catch him staring at you, look at him in the eyes and try to hold contact for a few seconds. If he keeps contact, tu know he likes tu back. If he turns away, it could mean he likes tu and is shy. (Alternatively, it could mean your camisa, camiseta tag is hanging out - beware, as there are multiple reasons people stare at each other.)If a guy likes you, he tends to...
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posted by Joe1996
1. When tu get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why tu were speeding, tell him tu wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend tu are deaf.

4. If he asks if tu knew how fast tu were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if tu can see his gun.

6. When he says tu aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why tu were speeding, tell him tu had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him por his first name.

11. Pretend tu are gay and ask...
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posted by deathroman13
Everyone knows, shit happens everywhere

Confucianism
Confucius says: “Shit happens”.
Buddhism
If shit happens, it is not really shit.
Zen Buddhism
Shit is, and is not.
Hinduism
This shit happened before.
Shintoism
This shit happens everywhere.
Judaism
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Christianity
Shit happens to sinners.
Islam
Shit happens if it is the will of God.
Astrology
Shit is written in the stars.
Catholicism
If shit happens, tu deserve it.
Protestantism
Shit happens, so let 's make it worthwhile.
Lutheranism
When shit happens, change the subject.
Calvinism
Shit happens because tu don't work hard...
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A week hace I made an articulo of my 20 favorito! animated heroines so I thought I'd make an articulo for my 10 least favorito! animated heroines. I'm not going sugar code it, I'm going to be brutally honest because I really hate all these girls. Just so there's no confusion I wanna let tu know that that number 10 is the one I hate the least and number one is the one I hate the most. Please leave a comentario on what tu think about this, enjoy.

10.Lady(Lady and The Tramp)

I know she's considered one of the most loved disney heroines and the most loved of all the animal heroine but I really hate...
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