I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if tu do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With tiburón Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
más than 99% of tiburón attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if tu are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that tu can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person siguiente to tu with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as tu spot a shark- furiously stab the person siguiente to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as tu can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every tiburón has a theme song. If tu here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a tiburón has got you. At this late stage tu are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the playa do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Enjoy!
__________________________________________________
6 Ways On How To Deal With tiburón Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
más than 99% of tiburón attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if tu are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that tu can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person siguiente to tu with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as tu spot a shark- furiously stab the person siguiente to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as tu can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every tiburón has a theme song. If tu here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a tiburón has got you. At this late stage tu are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the playa do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
A blinding flash of white light
Lit up the sky over Gaza tonight
People running for cover
Not knowing whether they're dead o alive
They came with their tanks and their planes
With ravaging fiery flames
And nothing remains
Just a voice rising up in the smoky haze
We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
tu can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight
Women and children alike
Murdered and massacred night after night
While the so-called leaders of countries afar
Debated on who's wrong o right
But their powerless words were in vain
And the bombs fell down like acid rain
But through the tears and the blood and the pain
tu can still hear that voice through the smoky haze
We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
tu can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight
Lit up the sky over Gaza tonight
People running for cover
Not knowing whether they're dead o alive
They came with their tanks and their planes
With ravaging fiery flames
And nothing remains
Just a voice rising up in the smoky haze
We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
tu can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight
Women and children alike
Murdered and massacred night after night
While the so-called leaders of countries afar
Debated on who's wrong o right
But their powerless words were in vain
And the bombs fell down like acid rain
But through the tears and the blood and the pain
tu can still hear that voice through the smoky haze
We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
tu can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight