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How do I become sarcastic?
CANADA24; tu answer preguntas such as THIS one.


My house is on fire, what do I do?
CANADA24; tu get off the fuckin computer and go outside!


Can tu get pregnant from watching porn?
CANADA24; Only on wednesdays.


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
CANADA24; Your not drinking ENOUGH of it!


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
CANADA24; GOOD!


Why are bebés ugly at first?
CANADA24; tu try living inside a woman's vigina for so long!


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
CANADA24; tu take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start.


Is...
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tu are sitting on the sofá waiting for your best friend to come and watch the outsiders with tu for a college project. "Hey" (Y/N) Johnny says closing the door behind him. "Hey" Johnny tu say back. Are tu ready to watch the movie tu ask? He is silent and he just stares at you. "Are tu ok?" tu ask Johnny
He takes the remote out of your hands and says (Y/N) tu are funny, Caring, smart, Amazing, Loving, and most importantly tu are Gold. tu hold his chest as tu are pushing him was y and say " tu watched the outsiders without me"? "Look (Y/N) "what I am trying to say is I amor you."...
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posted by Canada24
#1:
Chris/Ghostface: So anyways, I was saying, what's your favorito! scary movie?
Sam (Chris' fiancée): Well, the scariest is certainly Dragonball Evolution.
Chris/Ghostface: tu EVER MENTION THAT FILM AGAIN, I'LL CUT YOUR THROAT, tu LITTLE BITCH!
[...]
(Sam hangs up, believing this all to be a dumb joke)
Chris/Ghostface: That girl made me think of Dragonball Evolution. SHE'S GOING TO DIE!!!


#2:
"So we're watching the movie and things are happening and WHAT THE FUCK IS MICHAEL CAINE DOING IN THIS MOVIE?!"


#3:
"Oh thanks for the stupid ball, Grandpa. Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. Hey, can tu tell...
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How is it going, everyone. Welcome back to Watching Outside Your Xbox Window While tu Rant at Night. I’m your host, TatsMojo, and today, we’ll be taking a look at the strangest video games that tu have never heard of. Number 10: Katamari Damacy. This strange little gem was made on the weird side of the world, Japan. You’ve probably never heard of this (What the fuck am I doing?)
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that tu really...
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I do think that tu probably should avoid the following sites I am going to list. I will add más to the lista when I find más sites I think tu should probably avoid. So if anyone sends tu enlaces to the following sites, tu have been warned that they could be tricking you. Some of these are obviously bad por the name of the url but some of them are very sneaky to trick you.

UNLESS tu ARE A SICKO I ADVISE tu NOT TO GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITES

meatspin.com
fingerslam.com
infoslash.com
wowomg.com
2girls1cup.com
2girls1finger.com
lemonparty.org
goatse.cz
cleangirls.org
salsasnack.com
goatsemarathon.com
biblecamp.info...
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posted by CullenProperty
60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus

2) We are just as shy as tu are about relationships

3) Many of us don't let tu see us cry, unless we want tu to comfort us

4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if tu are interested. But we will later deny it o make it into a joke

5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot o sexy. But not all of us

6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for tu (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if tu don't like what we wear...
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I laughed so hard when I read this and I just had to share it

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

2. "Hey, are tu busy?" o "Are tu doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all día but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when they’re...
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I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated por you.
I was so encantada por your beauty that I ran into that muro over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime tu passed by, just so I could stare at tu a bit longer.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
For a moment I thought I...
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1. ángel Eyes - call her this name and she'll either think you're lying o you'll get some action faster than a pit toro on a t-bone.

2. Baby Doll - is a class girlfriend name so call her this all tu want even if she is the kind who will out chug tu in cerveza and pull a monster truck over your face on occasion.

3. Bubble Butt - is one of those names tu never, and I mean never call your girlfriend since this will end it all, and there will be no chance in getting back with her even for a drunken 2 am booty call.

4. Cuddle Bug - is one that most girlfriends will respond well to and will be an invitation...
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Good truth o dare Questions

Truth o dare is fun, only when all the people involved in the game are comfortable with each other. Here are some questions, which can be termed as good truth o dare questions, which will help tu to break the ice and ease the environment of a strained gathering.

Which was the most embarrassing moment of your life?

Describe the strangest dream tu have ever had in your life?

What is the one quality o feature tu would like to change about yourself?

Do tu have a crush on any of your friend's boyfriend o boyfriend's friend?

Do tu think your boyfriend is marriage material?...
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posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys amor flirts.
3. A guy can like tu for a minute, and then forget tu afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are tu doing something?" o "Have tu eaten already?" are the first usual preguntas a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all día but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
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posted by milorox18
1. I amor the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I amor the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I amor the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I amor the way tu look at me.

5. I amor how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I amor the way I can’t imagine a día without tu in my life.

7. I amor the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I amor the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I amor the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I amor how I know you’ll always be there when I need tu to be.

11....
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TRUTH

Who do tu have a crush on?

If tu had to fecha anyone here right now, who would it be?

Name one celebrity tu would want to make out with

Name five people tu hate and why tu hate them

Name all the people you've had a crush on before

Have tu ever embarrassed yourself in front of everyone in school? If tu did, what did tu do?

What embarrassing thing has a parent done to you?

Have tu ever cheated on your girlfriend/boyfriend?

Have tu had your first kiss, if tu have, were was it and who was it with?

Have tu ever seen a parent naked?

Have tu ever seen animales reproducing?

Have tu stalked anyone,...
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1. Go outside, and if tu see someone, take the misceláneo person and make out with him/her, and say: "Yes! I finally got my dramatic besar scene!"

2. Lay on your stomach in a puddle and scream: "I'm drowning, I'm drowning!"

3. In the pasanger asiento of the car, roll your window down, stick your tongue out, soaking the driver: "I wonder why perros only do this when its sunny out!" and laugh.

4. Make a farting noise, and say "Hear that thunder roar!"

5. When your outside, run around (reading lyrics) and scream words to canto in the Rain.

6. Make someone laugh. Then look at them: "Gosh, your face is...
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found this stuff and i wanted to share with tu guys (girls) so enjoy !! =)





1.Stare at someone and if/when they stare back at you, yell, “Staring is extremely impolite!”

2.Bring a Glad product to school and whenever someone gets mad at you, say, “Don’t get mad! Get Glad!” Then hold up the Glad product.

3.Keep talking as if you’re talking to the person siguiente to you, and when they answer, scream, “I wasn’t talking to you! Now, Bob, where were we?”

4.When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE!!! Oh, no, sorry."

5.Sing your preguntas to the class.

6.Sit in...
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posted by smileypop9
1.When tu walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a enfriador, refrigerador that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up lista is on my escritorio for the part tu would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up lista on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...
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Sweetie
Sweetheart
My love
Lover
Pumpkin
Baby
Darling
Sweetie Pie
Baby Doll
My Little Cabbage (French)
Love of my Life
Angel
Beloved
Dear
Dearest
Dear one
Deary
Flame
Heart’s Desire
Honey Bun
Poubelle
Honeybunch
Lamb
Jewel
Loveling
Pearl
Pet
Precious
Princess
Prince
My Sweet
Sugar
Treasure
True Love
Beautiful
Beauty
Gem
Saint
Light of my Life
Object of my Affection
Angel Face
Babe
Buttercup
Button
Cherub
Chica
Dumpling
Little Angel
Little Darling
Little Doll
Number One
Prize
Tootsie
Doll Face
My Idol
My Everything
My Life
Object of My Affection
True Love
One and Only
Inamorata
Inamorato
My Passion
Valentine
Dove
Honey Bunny
Smoochy
Babycake
Dream Girl
Dream...
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1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, o to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get tu in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly por giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the siguiente family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - tu may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin gorra, cap and feed him grapes when...
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1)"Why, do tu find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I amor the segundo grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and tu actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...
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DEMENTED POEMS

rosas are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

rosas are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

rosas are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And mostrar me your tits

rosas make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And tu amor it up the shitter

rosas are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

rosas are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

rosas are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

rosas are shit
Violets are crap
mostrar me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

rosas are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And golondrina it down

rosas are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey