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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my lista of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let tu know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything o eating anything tu might spit it o something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the escoba late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bahía they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorito! vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the seta have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do tu call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do tu call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do tu make an octopus giggle ten times?
tu give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do tu make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's favorito! composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between tu and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't tu hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher dicho it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the ensalada dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do tu know if it's raining gatos and dogs?
tu step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do tu know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do tu get pikachu on a bus?
tu pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't tu dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do tu call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
tu boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton cruzar, cruz the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do tu call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's rosado, rosa and fluffy?
rosado, rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosado, rosa fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when tu drink 7 coca colas?
tu burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the pescado say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't tu trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope tu liked them. Make sure tu check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four preguntas to determine the level of your intellect. Your respuestas must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating o wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: tu are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in segundo place.
In which position are tu now?

Answer:

If tu answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. tu overtook the segundo runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the siguiente pregunta try not to be so dumb.

2 : If tu overtake the last...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked por his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes inicial and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother respuestas " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad respuestas "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she respuestas "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she respuestas "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? tu know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let tu go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are tu enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling tu how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
What's your personality type?

Picks/Polls
link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link
link

(E) Extrovert
-Tend to focus on the outer world of people and the external environment
-Like variety and action
-Often impatient with long, slow jobs
-Are interested in the activities of their work and in how other people do it
-Often act quickly, sometimes without thinking
-Develop ideas por discussion
-Like to learn new task por talking it through with someone
-Need to experience the world in order to understand it and thus tend to like action

(I) Introverts
-Focus más on their own inner world,...
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Okay so if tu live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The siguiente day, cut the balloons off and tu got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when tu can barely mover as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...
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… So YIIK is a game



Okay, so a lot of you, o hell, all of tu are probably asking, “Nik, what the fuck are tu doing this time?” All two of tu that read these will know that I have talked about this game almost a año hace on the short lived In-Indie subseries I do, where I mildly praised the game despite how it is. This was around when the game was relatively new and didn’t have much attention aside from the mixed reviews that it had gotten. That is, until a few months later when so much came out about this game. It wasn’t long before YIIK: A Postmodern RPG became pretty much...
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Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne, known in other regions as Shin Megami Tensei: Lucifer’s Call, is the “third” game in the SMT franchise. And I say third with frases because any SMT fans will tell tu that’s bullshit. The third in the mainline franchise, yes, but SMT has had several spin offs and franchises all from the Shin Megami Tensei titles alone. Hell, one of them that tu may know, and the reason why tu are lectura this articulo right now to yell at me over, is the Persona franchise. Persona is part of the same series, but vastly different. Persona is a game that is about the...
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added by zanhar1
added by TheLefteris24
posted by scarletunicorn
So, this started out as a small little thing between AudreyFreak and me, but I'd thought it'd be good for us to comentario on characters we don't like and don't care for, and maybe it'd be good to explain, even those characters that are glorified por the fandom but have en general, general massive problems in general.

So, let's go!

Margery Tyrell (Game of Thrones).

AF- Unlike her less developed but actually likable book counterpart, TV Margaery (or “Marge Boleyn”, as some say, which I love) has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. She’s essentially a glorified prom queen who just lives to cattily pick on...
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 Let's fuckin do this
Let's fuckin do this
Well, the first episode has a whopping SEVENTEEN fans now, which is my most popular articulo to date, so I guess a lot of tu wanted a sequel. Hope tu guys enjoy, sorry it took so long to happen. XD

"How to compliment a guy."

It's not that hard, just say something nice. Do tu REALLY need consejos from the internet on something so INSANELY simple such as this?

"Fries insulted me!"

You insult humanity, it's a pretty fair trade to me.

"Paul's Empire."

DANCE my minions, DANCE! >:D

"What does astroglide smell like?"

Fresh flowers, unless the lubricant has been used after masturbating, in which case a...
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Item #: SCP-465
Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-465 is secured in containment locker 8423 at Site-19. Under no circumstances is SCP-465 to be opened por any personnel ranking above class D, and then only in a el espacio at least 15 square meters in area. No other special attention o care is required.

Description: SCP-465-01 is a large two-piece cardboard box decorated with a faded confetti pattern popular in the 1970s. Other than a large printed label on the parte superior, arriba of the lid marked "Party in a Box", no indication of contents o manufacturer are found on any portion of the object....
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