An idea popped into my head the other día and its been playing like a little movie in my head ever since. I really need to know if its any good, o if the idea has already been used. Also I need consejos for the characters and their names. I also appreciate constructive criticism and grammar and spelling. The names are temporary. I've never written a book that is completely in the present tense so please help me catch any tense mistakes! Um, oh yeah. It doesn't have a título yet so if tu have any suggestions just let me know!
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short vista previa of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank tu Mrs. Monrale, tu too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a vista previa of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah dicho the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in amor with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be música to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up amor notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short vista previa of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank tu Mrs. Monrale, tu too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a vista previa of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah dicho the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in amor with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be música to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up amor notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
"I need you." I quietly whispered, Ari looked at me with his wide green eyes. "I need tu Ari, we all need you." I dicho as Carli and Marli started to cry. "You need no one, only yourself." Ari said, glaring. That peirced a hole right through my aching heart... "Maybe you're right." I mumured, I hated mostrando weakness infront of the group. Allina put her hand gently on my shoulder. "Ari, listen." She said.
Ari snarled, we backed away slightly.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" He screamed, taking off down the sidewalk.
Ari snarled, we backed away slightly.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" He screamed, taking off down the sidewalk.
4444, Desperata Ave.
it can put the corazón at ease o under strain
and as that word to each other we spoke
it made our hearts complete and not broke
a feeling unlike any other i felt
as tu heavenly eyes made my corazón melt
tu were always the one, i could tell
cause from the moment i saw tu in amor i fell
the words to describe tu a poet can never posses
tu were always the one that was hard to impress
tu wanted más than poesía and flores could give
because only on true amor your corazón could live
to capture my corazón for tu it only took
one moment one smile and one unforgettable look
Edgar Allen Poe - #1
A family who lives on a boat
Doesn’t want land but water to float.
Sometimes afraid to sink down
Of many holes they have around.
All what’s left is hope and faith.
A girl on the barco is very sick,
But the thoughtless father’s brain never gave a kick.
Never thought about what would happen,
That’s why they’re lost with a big reason.
All what’s left is 35 feet of rope and faith.
Believing in your heart,
There is a big feeling where to start
Never give it up nor never have enough.
tu know what tu want,
tu know some things that tu can’t have.
All what’s left is hope and faith.
Doesn’t want land but water to float.
Sometimes afraid to sink down
Of many holes they have around.
All what’s left is hope and faith.
A girl on the barco is very sick,
But the thoughtless father’s brain never gave a kick.
Never thought about what would happen,
That’s why they’re lost with a big reason.
All what’s left is 35 feet of rope and faith.
Believing in your heart,
There is a big feeling where to start
Never give it up nor never have enough.
tu know what tu want,
tu know some things that tu can’t have.
All what’s left is hope and faith.
