An idea popped into my head the other día and its been playing like a little movie in my head ever since. I really need to know if its any good, o if the idea has already been used. Also I need consejos for the characters and their names. I also appreciate constructive criticism and grammar and spelling. The names are temporary. I've never written a book that is completely in the present tense so please help me catch any tense mistakes! Um, oh yeah. It doesn't have a título yet so if tu have any suggestions just let me know!
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short vista previa of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank tu Mrs. Monrale, tu too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a vista previa of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah dicho the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in amor with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be música to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up amor notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short vista previa of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank tu Mrs. Monrale, tu too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a vista previa of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah dicho the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in amor with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be música to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up amor notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
This is a small poem I wrote a while back.I hope tu like it, please tell me what tu think
Thank you
-Aurora
The Wind is cold against her skin
Numbing her body perfectly,
Erasing the pain she knew all to well
Escaping her problems if only for a moment
The chill of the breeze whispering to her
"Just do it" it taunted, "You know tu want to"
Each time, the voice got louder
Beckoning her to let go, end it all
Was it worth it
Some would say no
But to her it was everything
Yet the voices called to her
"Let go, Let got, ... Let Go"
Thank you
-Aurora
The Wind is cold against her skin
Numbing her body perfectly,
Erasing the pain she knew all to well
Escaping her problems if only for a moment
The chill of the breeze whispering to her
"Just do it" it taunted, "You know tu want to"
Each time, the voice got louder
Beckoning her to let go, end it all
Was it worth it
Some would say no
But to her it was everything
Yet the voices called to her
"Let go, Let got, ... Let Go"
Example of the 'Dark Figure'
as if tu gave me a choice
everything about tu i loved
all other feelings aside i shoved
on your every word i hung
and even among
a crowd, only tu i see
nowhere else i would rather be
these feelings for you, that are kept inside
i can no longer hide
everything about tu i admire
tu are all i desire
so kind, so sweet, so passionate
everytime our eyes met
my corazón would race
while looking at your smiling face
full of buety, life, and joy
with my emotions tu play like a toy
like a wild beast, my emotions cannot be tame
and i don't even know your name
