I wanna die. I can't handle feeling this worried and angry and frustrated all the time. I wanna be alone.
I want no one to amor me, I want no one to contact me.I want to run away from this life because I can't handle it anymore. I've felt this way for 5 years and each año it gets a little bit worse. I need to die. I'm supposed to be the strong one,
the girl that never cries and will stick it out through anything and is level headed and cool and can hold herself together. I'm supposed to be the girl that is alone and doesn't need anyone to help her with her problems. It was like that before!
I didn't need anyone else. I could handle and supress feelings on my own. But now I can't. Honestly, I just feel really pent up inside. Like I need a release. But I don't have one. Everything I do makes me frustrated and its killing me.
Literally. I guess that's why I want to die. I feel like all of my abilities and my potential is fading away and I have no way to express myself. And the worst part? No one'll listen. They're all too obsessed with themselves to listen to
what I have to say. It's embarrassing really, that I can't handle this on my own. That I need Thomas to calm me down when I get angry. It sucks, I wanna do this alone. I don't wanna be a burden on anyone other than myself. But I feel like I'm a
burden to my boyfriend. He probably thinks of me as dumb baggage, only weighing him down. He could do so much if I weren't around, wrecking everything up wherever I go. He could be happy if I weren't here. He could do anything really, with me not weighing him down. I need to learn how to handle this myself. It's either that o I die. I would much rather die than be a burden on his shoulders. I amor him so much, I hate that I'm doing this to him. He probably doesn't amor me and is
lieing. Hell, everyone does that. They lie to someone because they feel sorry for them. That's what he's doing to me, I know it. He feels sorry for me because I can't seem to pull myself together. That is the only explaination in my mind.
He couldn't amor me, how could he when I can't even amor myself? How could he ever amor someone as spineless and courageless than me. He deserves so much better. He deserves a girl that can take care of herself, not one that he has
to pull together every second. I'm too damaged, too broken for him. He doesn't deserve me. He deserves someone much less sad and anxious than me. I amor him. I really do amor him. I would give the world to make him happy, promise. But I
honestly think that I'm not making him happy. And if I'm not making him happy than I don't want to be with him. I amor him so much that I would break up with him if it meant putting a smile on his face. I'd like to believe he'd do the same,
but honestly I'm not convinced. I wish I could make him as happy as he makes me but I doubt that will ever happen. I'm too much of a burden. I'm too stupid for him, not pretty enough for him. Like I dicho a billion times, he deserves so much better than me. Why is he even with me? I don't understand. He should've left por now. We weren't supposed to last this long. We weren't supposed to fall in amor with each other. This is wrong. If I would've known 8 months hace that I would amor him and trust him as much as I do now I wouldn't have asked him out in the first place. Without me he could actually be happy. I could see that beautiful smile of his forever, through the windows of heaven. o hell, ya know, whichever I end up in. I just want him to be happy and the only way I think he could truly be happy is without me.
tu know, I talk a lot about how much I amor him but sometimes I wonder if I really do. Maybe I'm just delusional and I don't amor him and I just want someone to take care of me cause I can't do it on my own. Maybe this is all in my head, and he doesn't amor me and he is just dating me because he feels sorry for me. tu know what? I'm sick and tired with being a burden on him. I wanna die so he doesn't have to deal with me anymore. My flaws are too prominent. He doesn't deserve someone with my number of flaws. I'm not perfect enough for him.
I want no one to amor me, I want no one to contact me.I want to run away from this life because I can't handle it anymore. I've felt this way for 5 years and each año it gets a little bit worse. I need to die. I'm supposed to be the strong one,
the girl that never cries and will stick it out through anything and is level headed and cool and can hold herself together. I'm supposed to be the girl that is alone and doesn't need anyone to help her with her problems. It was like that before!
I didn't need anyone else. I could handle and supress feelings on my own. But now I can't. Honestly, I just feel really pent up inside. Like I need a release. But I don't have one. Everything I do makes me frustrated and its killing me.
Literally. I guess that's why I want to die. I feel like all of my abilities and my potential is fading away and I have no way to express myself. And the worst part? No one'll listen. They're all too obsessed with themselves to listen to
what I have to say. It's embarrassing really, that I can't handle this on my own. That I need Thomas to calm me down when I get angry. It sucks, I wanna do this alone. I don't wanna be a burden on anyone other than myself. But I feel like I'm a
burden to my boyfriend. He probably thinks of me as dumb baggage, only weighing him down. He could do so much if I weren't around, wrecking everything up wherever I go. He could be happy if I weren't here. He could do anything really, with me not weighing him down. I need to learn how to handle this myself. It's either that o I die. I would much rather die than be a burden on his shoulders. I amor him so much, I hate that I'm doing this to him. He probably doesn't amor me and is
lieing. Hell, everyone does that. They lie to someone because they feel sorry for them. That's what he's doing to me, I know it. He feels sorry for me because I can't seem to pull myself together. That is the only explaination in my mind.
He couldn't amor me, how could he when I can't even amor myself? How could he ever amor someone as spineless and courageless than me. He deserves so much better. He deserves a girl that can take care of herself, not one that he has
to pull together every second. I'm too damaged, too broken for him. He doesn't deserve me. He deserves someone much less sad and anxious than me. I amor him. I really do amor him. I would give the world to make him happy, promise. But I
honestly think that I'm not making him happy. And if I'm not making him happy than I don't want to be with him. I amor him so much that I would break up with him if it meant putting a smile on his face. I'd like to believe he'd do the same,
but honestly I'm not convinced. I wish I could make him as happy as he makes me but I doubt that will ever happen. I'm too much of a burden. I'm too stupid for him, not pretty enough for him. Like I dicho a billion times, he deserves so much better than me. Why is he even with me? I don't understand. He should've left por now. We weren't supposed to last this long. We weren't supposed to fall in amor with each other. This is wrong. If I would've known 8 months hace that I would amor him and trust him as much as I do now I wouldn't have asked him out in the first place. Without me he could actually be happy. I could see that beautiful smile of his forever, through the windows of heaven. o hell, ya know, whichever I end up in. I just want him to be happy and the only way I think he could truly be happy is without me.
tu know, I talk a lot about how much I amor him but sometimes I wonder if I really do. Maybe I'm just delusional and I don't amor him and I just want someone to take care of me cause I can't do it on my own. Maybe this is all in my head, and he doesn't amor me and he is just dating me because he feels sorry for me. tu know what? I'm sick and tired with being a burden on him. I wanna die so he doesn't have to deal with me anymore. My flaws are too prominent. He doesn't deserve someone with my number of flaws. I'm not perfect enough for him.
This is written about the perfect silence only found in the dead of night, and the feelings it inspires.
The título comes from the descripción a friend of mine gave when we were stuck in the middle of nowhere at midnight and I found it sort of beautiful.
Enjoy (I hope) :)
Weighted air and winking stars,
darkness draped, tension wrought.
This night, this hour, is ours.
Silence chimes unspoken thoughts
that choke my mouth.
Silver moonbeams in glittering outline
surround you, and in our youth
this night, this hour, we intertwine.
I'd amor to hear what tu like o hate.
Thanks for reading.
DietCokeGirl
The título comes from the descripción a friend of mine gave when we were stuck in the middle of nowhere at midnight and I found it sort of beautiful.
Enjoy (I hope) :)
Weighted air and winking stars,
darkness draped, tension wrought.
This night, this hour, is ours.
Silence chimes unspoken thoughts
that choke my mouth.
Silver moonbeams in glittering outline
surround you, and in our youth
this night, this hour, we intertwine.
I'd amor to hear what tu like o hate.
Thanks for reading.
DietCokeGirl
First off, to those of tu that know me, I haven't publicado at all in awhile, I'm aware my "Nightfall" series hasn't been updated for those of tu that liked it, but since school started back, I have had hardly any time to write anything. I WILL get back to posting on "Nightfall" if anything else for the sake of completion. But I also discovered the marvolous "Fallout" series a few months back, and decided to try to make a novel out of it. For those of tu not familiar with the series, "Fallout" is a series of games set in a post-apocyloptic future, and finds a custom made protagonist made customly por the player dealing with life in the now wastelandic USA. My story is loosely based off "Fallout 3" but with major differences along the way, so the story is original in that aspect. If tu guys will read the story, I will make it as adaptable as I can for those who are not familiar with it. Please leave comments, so I know whether o not I should post it. Thank you. -AdamK
After changing back I saw the remains of that man. It was enough to make me sick. I just fell to my knees looking up at the sky. A girl walks up beside me and kneels down. "Don't look so down." I go to look at her and no one is there. I look back up at the sky waiting to hear that voice again. There wasn't any sound anywhere around. Out of the silence i could hear a faint breath from the night behind me. I mover to the right when i hear the shot.
It grazes the side of my head and i fall to the ground. I hear footsteps running towards me as my eyes slowly close.
It grazes the side of my head and i fall to the ground. I hear footsteps running towards me as my eyes slowly close.