So, Tenkai Knights: Valiente Battle, a game on the 3DS that was forgotten about, even por enthusiasts of bad video games, like myself, probably for reasons that it deserves. And yes, I am stretching this out as much as I can because I have no idea what Tenkai Knights is. Unlike Deal o No Deal, which I had a vague understanding of, I never watched the show, Tenkai Knights. I can’t make jokes about that. But I what I can make jokes about is that Tenkai Knights: Valiente Battle is a fighting game that was developed por Bandai Namco, the same studio that brought us tekken and SoulCalibur, some of the best fighting game franchises out there. So how did they manage to screw this one up so bad… I found out in less than a few seconds.
So the game starts with a narration that I can barely hear because of the sound mixing. The voice is so quiet while the música is bombastic as all hell. Thank god for the subtitles, wouldn’t want to miss this grand tale. So basically an alien race of knights come to earth to protect it and defeat the villain from their world, also something with a dragon. Why do the knights look like blockier Bionicles though. Yeah, remember those things? So after that, we mover to the first mission, and suddenly, the cutscene turns to still imágenes with a giant blue Final fantasía VII textbox that takes up 30% of the screen. It looks horrible. As for the touch screen on the 3DS, it’s just one giant arrow button that lets tu mover onto the siguiente screen, while the A button can do that just fine. I can’t help but drag this on. This is just the cutscenes and everything looks so unappealing. And the pacing is awful too. One minute, the kids are at an antique shop, then in a basement with alien technology, now the planet is square for some reason and we meet the Tenkai Knights, all within two minutes.
So after all that, we can finally mover to the first fight in the game. And that being said, this is one of the worst fighting games I’ve ever played. Yes, más so than Fighter Within. It takes a sort of Smash Bros. approach with it’s large arena, but the enemies never mover from their one platform. When tu jump, tu gotta hold the direction button first before tu jump, otherwise tu will jump in place with no direction of where tu are going. No matter which enemy tu go to first, no matter where tu approach, it seems they are always waiting for tu and they will always knock your culo out of the sky and fall back to the platform below. It is less of a fight of skill and más of tu fighting to keep yourself in the sky before tu get knocked down again. That is until I realized I was trying way too hard. If tu kill an enemy and then just wait, they will respawn, and if tu strike them, they will die and tu will reach your goal. The goal is usually to kill four enemies o eight enemies, but they die in one hit. So tu can either play fair and get annoyed like hell o play smart and be bored out of your mind. And unlike Fighter Within, I got no friends to play this with, because of fucking course I don’t. Who would have Tenkai Knights on 3DS… On segundo thought, who in 2019 would have a 3DS?
I can’t say for sure if this truly is the worst fighting game I’ve ever played. It’s a fighting game, and fighting games are competitive first. But from a single player perspective, looking at all the janky battle and the bad controls, it’s not looking so hot right now. And now I have an all new disgust towards Tenkai Knights. I mean, it was anime so it was always meant to be trash, but still. Fuck you, Valiente Battle
So the game starts with a narration that I can barely hear because of the sound mixing. The voice is so quiet while the música is bombastic as all hell. Thank god for the subtitles, wouldn’t want to miss this grand tale. So basically an alien race of knights come to earth to protect it and defeat the villain from their world, also something with a dragon. Why do the knights look like blockier Bionicles though. Yeah, remember those things? So after that, we mover to the first mission, and suddenly, the cutscene turns to still imágenes with a giant blue Final fantasía VII textbox that takes up 30% of the screen. It looks horrible. As for the touch screen on the 3DS, it’s just one giant arrow button that lets tu mover onto the siguiente screen, while the A button can do that just fine. I can’t help but drag this on. This is just the cutscenes and everything looks so unappealing. And the pacing is awful too. One minute, the kids are at an antique shop, then in a basement with alien technology, now the planet is square for some reason and we meet the Tenkai Knights, all within two minutes.
So after all that, we can finally mover to the first fight in the game. And that being said, this is one of the worst fighting games I’ve ever played. Yes, más so than Fighter Within. It takes a sort of Smash Bros. approach with it’s large arena, but the enemies never mover from their one platform. When tu jump, tu gotta hold the direction button first before tu jump, otherwise tu will jump in place with no direction of where tu are going. No matter which enemy tu go to first, no matter where tu approach, it seems they are always waiting for tu and they will always knock your culo out of the sky and fall back to the platform below. It is less of a fight of skill and más of tu fighting to keep yourself in the sky before tu get knocked down again. That is until I realized I was trying way too hard. If tu kill an enemy and then just wait, they will respawn, and if tu strike them, they will die and tu will reach your goal. The goal is usually to kill four enemies o eight enemies, but they die in one hit. So tu can either play fair and get annoyed like hell o play smart and be bored out of your mind. And unlike Fighter Within, I got no friends to play this with, because of fucking course I don’t. Who would have Tenkai Knights on 3DS… On segundo thought, who in 2019 would have a 3DS?
I can’t say for sure if this truly is the worst fighting game I’ve ever played. It’s a fighting game, and fighting games are competitive first. But from a single player perspective, looking at all the janky battle and the bad controls, it’s not looking so hot right now. And now I have an all new disgust towards Tenkai Knights. I mean, it was anime so it was always meant to be trash, but still. Fuck you, Valiente Battle
