Oh boy, we still got some Cultober to go through, everybody. o at the least, we’ve reached the ranking moment for these movies. I think we had a good haul this season. We had a few goodies, a few mehs, and some trash in the mix. But it was mostly a good first year. So let’s talk about the movies, talking about the worst ones and then making our way to the good ones, and what I recommend for ones viewing pleasure. Oh, and I will be rating this film on a ten outta ten scale, 5 points for how scary o spooky the film is and another 5 for how enjoyable it is. So there’s a chance I may like a 5/10 film, but that may not be very likely. But let’s stop blabbering and start talking about some damn good horror films already

Rank 31: Birdemic: Shock and Terror
Scare: 0/5
Enjoyment: 1/5
Total 1/10

Oh, wow, Birdemic is at the bottom of the list. What a total shock. This was no surprise to anyone. Birdemic sucked. It fucking sucked. I hated this film, and still do. I decided to be generous and give it a 1 on the enjoyment scale because at least the birds are so bad and so poorly made that they are funny, but tu mostly get a bunch of boring characters doing stupid shit and it’s just a boring movie the whole way through. I hate it. Do not watch this movie, even if tu are looking for something ironic. tu can do so much better, trust me.

Rank 30: Bride of the Monster
Scare: 1/5
Enjoyment: 1/5
Total: 2/10
My god, even though this film was known as one of the worst, it was pretty disappointing, as an ironic film. I was expecting a lot más badly done effects, bad acting, and a stupid plot. I mean, there are elements there, but not nearly enough to keep me invested. I was hoping for más from most infamous director ever Ed Wood. But no, instead I just get a rather drab film. It could’ve been so much better, but it was just a dull film over all

Rank 29: Night of the Lepus
Scare: 1/5
Enjoyment: 2/5
Total: 3/10
Night of the Lepus is barely better than Birdemic and, honestly, a far más interesting ironic film than the anterior two simply for the practical effects. The rabbit costume is awful, obviously, and the actuación is so bad with an even worse script that it gets a laugh out of me, but I can respect the use of the smaller town modelos for the rabbits to run around in. It’s genuinely impressive. Not enough to save this trash fuego of a film, but it has one good, genuinely good, thing about it and that’s better than the last two films.

Rank 28: Incubus
Scare: 1/5
Enjoyment: 3/5
Total: 4/10
Okay, I can appreciate what this film was going for, and it definitely had a neat idea, and I will admit that it definitely had a pretty good build up. But I just found the film to be laughable at best and boring at worst. I mean, come on, that was the best diseño for the título character Incubus. And no, the goat form was not much better. For fucks sake, Night of the Lepus had better effects than that. Not costume design, god know, but even their effects were decent in comparison. If it wasn’t for the fact that I like the idea of this film, it would be lower. But god, what a disappointing film, honestly.

Rank 27: The Hills Have Eyes
Scare: 2/5
Enjoyment: 2/5
Total: 4/10
Yeah, originally, I wanted to give this a five out of ten because I know how much this film is enjoyed por classic horror fans and seen as a real classic of Wes Craven’s other films, but, no, I hate this movie, it’s boring, not interesting, and I don’t really enjoy any of the moments in this film up until the last few minutes, and even then, I found that the remake did it better. Yes, the edgy, gory remake did the last thirty minutos better, and that film is por no means a masterpiece, but I’d take a film that disgusts me over a film that bores me. It’s only higher than the rest because, again, I like the idea of the film. It’s interesting. But man, what squandered potential

Rank 26: Pandorum
Scare: 3/5
Enjoyment: 2/5
Total: 5/10
Okay, so this is not a boring film, at least not completely, but it’s por far the most disappointing. Don’t tease me that this is inspired por Lovecraftian horror and then have the weakest kind of Lovecraftian horror. Sure, the characters go insane, but man, tu could do way más than that. That being said, this movie is just eh. Nothing amazing, nothing terrible. Guess that’s what you’d expect from a movie that gained the interest of classic shlock maker, Paul W.S. Anderson himself

Rank 25: Maniac Cop
Scare: 2/5
Enjoyment: 3/5
Total: 5/10
Okay, yeah, have I lost credibility yet? I shit all over The Hills Have Eyes and yet I’m gonna talk about why this film is pretty good. It’s por no means a classic, but it does enough to entertain the audience with a good premise, a decent slasher set up, and has Bruce Campiness Campbell. Sorry, I just really like Evil Dead. I just can’t help but be interested. Maniac Cop will never be seen in high regard as other slasher films, but it does enough to keep a slasher fan like me entertained. The sequels… Maybe not so much

Rank 24: Wicked City
Scare: 4/5
Enjoyment: 2/5
Total: 6/10
Well, what do tu know, the only animated film on the entirety of Cultober and it didn’t even crack the parte superior, arriba twenty. Just barely missing out on it. That being said, this film has animación that is both disgusting but well animated enough to entertain, if tu can get passed all the brutal rape scenes, which there are a lot, all on the same character. Oh boy, if there’s one thing I can’t handle, it’s rape. Murder who tu want, but no rape please. That being said, it’s a typical story, but the insanity kept me interested. I don’t know if the same will be for you, but I liked it enough to keep going.

Rank 23: Cloverfield
Scare: 3/5
Enjoyment: 3/5
Total: 6/10
Once again, another film that I was disappointed it. Thankfully, not on the scale of The Hills Have Eyes, but still enough to keep it from the parte superior, arriba spot. Cloverfield is a movie I don’t exactly like, I’m not the biggest fan of it, but I respect it. I like the monster, I like the insane theories it builds upon, and I like the idea of a found footage film. But everything else just kinda made me lose interest over time. It’s por no means a bad film, but I still consider it to be overrated. But maybe you’ll see something in it that I don’t, hopefully.

Rank 22: I Was a Teenage Werewolf
Scare: 2/5
Enjoyment: 4/5
Total: 6/10
Man, time sure does fly. To think it was thirty days hace that I started this marathon, and it was all thanks to this 1950s movie. That being said, it’s a pretty basic werewolf film. por no means a bad film, because I sure as hell enjoyed my time with it, but there certainly are better werewolf cine out there. But if tu want something with the right amount of 50s B movie cheese, then this is the film for you

Rank 21: Idle Hands
Scare: 1/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 6/10
Wow, what a fucking lame movie in the fear category. That being said, this movie is fucking amazing. It’s stupid, it’s really stupid, and I will always say that it is. But it manages to revel in its own stupidity and have fun with it, and damn it, so do I. Please, it’s got everything the 90s was good at. Slasher films, lame humor, The Offspring. Oh, it’s so dated but in a good way. I implore you, check out Idle Hands. I give this a Highly Recommended film. It’s not a parte superior, arriba ranker, but this gets the Corner of Horror sello of Recommendation

Rank 20: Pumpkinhead
Scare: 3/5
Enjoyment: 3/5
Total: 6/10
Well, this was certainly a surprise. I thought Pumpkinhead would’ve been a B movie mess, but it was actually a pretty decent film. Nothing groundbreaking, but I personally enjoyed what I watched. It’s creepy enough, got enough unique slasher movie kills, and Pumpkinhead has such an amazing diseño to him that I just want to keep coming back for more. To this film, not the god awful made for TV movies. That’s worse than direct to DVD.

Rank 19: Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil
Scare: 2/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 7/10
I thought Pumpkinhead would be lame, but I thought this movie would be a hot mess. And low and behold, it’s probably one of the better modern horror comedies I’ve seen. It’s a great parody of the slasher genre with all of it’s stupid tropes without feeling forced and it manages to make the characters of Tucker and Dale a rather enjoyable duo. I can see them being in más movies, whenever the hell that día comes

Rank 18: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
Scare: 2/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 7/10
From one dumb duo to another and probably one of the más well known. por no means Abbott and Costello’s greatest work, it was certainly a nice surprise to see them go up against the classic Universal monsters of the past. It’s got the classic feeling of a 1930’s Universal horror film while having the enjoyable comedy of the two. What más could tu ask for?

Rank 17: Child’s Play
Scare: 2/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 7/10
Let’s be honest, Chucky was pretty much better as a comedy film anyway. Sure, his first moments were creepy, but it could only work for so long. And the creepy doll being a killer only became más cliche from there. So it’s nice that Chucky was a far más interesting character when he spoke. I used to hate it, but now I can appreciate it. If tu are a fan of a más humorous slasher film, you’ll probably have some fun with Child’s Play.

Rank 16: Scream
Scare: 3/5
Enjoyment: 4/5
Total: 7/10
Ah, now this (Aside from cabina in the Woods) is the true slasher film parody. Made por Wes Craven, he makes yet another classic slasher villain with Ghostface, before he too got fucked por Hollywood in a spiral of bad sequel after bad sequel. But this is the original Ghostface, and the original Scream, a classic in the slasher genre that brought slasher films back into the mainstream after a long period of silence. And of course, leave it to Wes Craven, creator of the Nightmare on Elm calle franchise to strike oro once again with a new slasher villain.

Rank 15: Them!
Scare: 2/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
I was honestly not expecting to enjoy Them! As much as I did, but low and behold, it’s actually a decently made film. Sure, it’s por no means the scariest film out there, unless tu have a phobia of insects, then this film is nightmare inducing, but it’s the effects, the acting, the story, and suspense, all of this mixed together with the classic B movie feeling of classic cinema, it all molds well together to create this 50s classic, and a film I recommend to anyone. Another film for the Corner of Horror sello of Recommendation.

Rank 14: Witchfinder General
Scare: 2/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 7/10
Okay, no, THIS is por no means a scary film. It’s really disturbing at times and may be hard to watch, but it’s far from a scary film. That being said, this film is amazing, just like Them. Yeah, get ready for a lot of Seals of Recommendations from here on out, people. Witchfinder General was such a horrifying film for it’s time and it’s a film that I recommend to anyone out there. If tu have the stomach for it of course. Slap the Corner of Horror sello of Recommendation on this film too

Rank 13: Tremors
Scare: 2/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 7/10
Oh man, what can be dicho about this film that hasn’t been dicho already. Nothing, so I’ll just copy down everything about this film. The characters, the monsters, the setting, and just the pacing, it all makes this film a classic and a film that deserved all of it’s sequels, which I have heard are actually pretty decent, for straight to video movies, of course. This is a must watch for anyone who is not just a fan of horror films, but for monster films in general. Another Corner of Horror sello of Recommendation

Rank 12: Begotten
Scare: 5/5
Enjoyment: 3/5
Total: 8/10
Okay…. I don’t know what to make of this movie. This was the first and only film this entire mes that, didn’t scare me, but disturbed and sickened me. It was actually pretty hard to sit through. The vague story telling, the disturbing visuals. I think it was más effective because it looks like it was recorded on a fucking potato. It’s an interesting film, but I don’t know if it’s a recommended film for everyone. I’ll give it this, it scared the hell out of me, so it must’ve done something right.

Rank 11: REC
Scare: 4/5
Enjoyment: 4/5
Total: 8/10
This is the true found footage film of this month. Yes, más so than Cloverfield. This is a colina I am fully prepared to die on. My clearly superior opinions aside, REC is such an interesting zombie not-zombie film for how it is portrayed, how it is built up, and the fact it all takes place in one building. It was able to get four sequels, and only one being noticeably bad, so clearly, it did something right with it’s plot. And all on a found footage film, which horror fans normally hate. Good for you, REC

Rank 10: Bad Taste
Scare: 3/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 8/10
Peter Jackson can clearly do no wrong… Except when it comes to The Hobbit, but shhhh. We’re talking about simpler times. Apparently $25,000 budget levels of simple, and this film looks better and is más well shot than most big budget films today. It’s premise is silly, but fun, and it has the right amount of gore to where it’s disgusting, but not hard to stomach. It’s a film that any gorehound will enjoy o just a horror fan in general, and it gets my Corner of Horror sello of Recommendation

Rank 9: Tetsuo: The Iron Man
Scare: 4/5
Enjoyment: 4/5
Total: 8/10
The first and so far, only Japanese horror film of Cultober, but goddamn, but a great way to start looking into foreign films from the Land of the Rising Sun. This is some Cronenberg level shit here, and all on a small budget using scraps from broken TVs no less, and it was horrifying and disturbing and awesome all at the same time. Just try to ignore all the phallic imagery in this film, okay? It’s Japan, what do tu expect? Another film with the sello of Recommendation

Rank 8: Jacob’s Ladder
Scare: 4/5
Enjoyment: 4/5
Total 8/10
This is a film that is so good that I’m sad that it didn’t get any attention when it first came out .I’m happy that it’s getting some amor now, but man, this movie was so ahead of its time with the disturbing imagery, unique plot, and just an en general, general unsettling feeling throughout the film, making your skin crawl as tu tried to piece everything together. tu just can’t find this kind of horror anymore, and I find that a little depressing. With that said, this gets the sello of Recommendation too

Rank 7: halloween 2018
Scare: 3/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 8/10
Again, I am completely aware of the lack of a cult following this movie has. That being said, this film is amazing if tu are a fan of the original halloween film, like me. It’s got enough to satisfy fans of the original film, fans of slasher films in general, and will peak the interest of those newcomers who have never seen the original film, maybe inspiring a new age of halloween fans. Sadly, I cannot give this film a sello of Recommendation. It’s a lot más effective if tu saw the first halloween first before tu watch this one. But man, do I wish I could give it that seal.

Rank 6: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
Scare: 3/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 8/5
The classic German Expressionism film and por far the oldest film on Cultober, it is a true classic. So classic that it was a silent horror film, so tu really need to know how old this film is. The film is so vaguely told that it gives it a creepy vibe. It also helps with the world the characters interact in, finding themselves in this bizarre world with oddly shaped buildings and over exaggerated shadows. It’s an insane fantasía world that I honestly want to see más of in film. I’ll happily give this film a sello of Recommendation.

Rank 5: halloween 1978
Scare: 4/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 9/10
Now this is a film that I can happily give a sello of Recommendation onto. Yeah, not even gonna discuss why I should. Just slapping that sello on right away. tu know the jist. tu know how much of a classic for any marathon John Carpenter’s halloween is. Michael Myers is a classic slasher villain, and halloween is the perfect film to watch during the October season. Go watch Halloween. Right now. It should be on TV. It’s the navidad Story of Halloween

Rank 4: 1984’s The Fly
Scare: 4/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 9/10
I may not have found the movie to be too scary at the start, but boy did it pick up really damn fast. Even still, it’s not scary, but it’s an amazing film, watching the deteriorating sanity of the main character, and seeing the amazing effects that are to be expected in any Cronenberg film. This is a film that any horror fan should check out, at least once. But I doubt they can get enough from just one sitting. Another film to slap the sello on. From here on out, just expect this sello to be on everything.

Rank 3: Return of the Living Dead
Scare: 4/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: This and the siguiente film were real damn close to getting a 10/10 ranking, but I decided that only one film should have that right, and Return of the Living Dead barely missed it. But man, what an amazing zombie film. It’s up there as one of the greatest in my opinion, and almost as good as the classic Romero films. If tu are a fan of zombie films, all two of you, then this is a classic tu must watch. An obvious sello of Recommendation

Rank 2: Young Frankenstein
Scare: 4/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 9/10
This was the film that almost broke the Rank 1 spot. But I just like the Rank 1 film a little bit more. With that said, Young Frankenstein is the perfect horror comedy, probably the best horror comedy I’ve ever seen. Classic horror elements for fans of the genre, a good sense of humor, Gene Wilder playing probably a better role than Willy Wonka, something I never thought I’d say. This is a must watch for fans of the original Universal monster films and anyone who is looking for a good laugh. sello of Recommendation, because of course

Rank 1: Monster Squad
Scare: 5/5
Enjoyment: 5/5
Total: 10/10
Is this film better than Young Frankenstein, Return of the Living Dead o The Fly? Probably not. In fact, it’s probably a goddamn fact that it isn’t even close. But this film captures the spirit of what horror fans amor about the horror genre, and captures the entire idea of Cultober so well, as well as the halloween season in general. Sure, there’s no pumpkins and such, but it’s still such an amazing cult classic and a must watch for any horror enthusiast. I can’t recommend this movie enough. Please, I beg anyone lectura this, watch Monster Squad. It’s amazing.

Well, that was certainly a fun month. It wasn’t perfect. We still had some garbage films in the pile, but I was perfectly satisfied with what we were able to watch. And as for a recap on what films tu should check out, those would be
Idle Hands
Them!
Witchfinder General
Tremors
Bad Taste
Tetsuo: The Iron Man
Jacob’s Ladder
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
halloween 1978
1984’s The Fly
Return of the Living Dead
Young Frankenstein
Monster Squad
And with that, Cultober finally, for real this time, comes to a close. And will I do this again siguiente year? Heh heh heh. Maybe. And with that, I wish tu all a Happy halloween and a happy… I don’t know, Veterans Day? Take care.