Song: link
Hawkeye: *Hears the song playing*
Tim: Okay, who turned on that song?
Tom: Get something better on for crying outloud!!
Mortomis: Yeah!
Captain Jefferson: Fine. *Switches the song*
Song: link
Captain Jefferson: tu don't know good música when tu hear it.
Percy: We're back!
James: Everyone already knows that Percy.
Henry: *Crosseyed* Duh, hi, I'm Henry, and I'm so hungry, I can eat your whole face off.
Duck: *Stops siguiente to Henry* That's not right Henry. Hi guys, pato here with Henry. He's hosting this week, but as tu can tell, he's an idiot, so I'm helping him host this week of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories.
Henry: Duh, what's a story?
Duck: Up first as usual it's...
Ponies On The Rails - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences
Duck: Followed by...
On The Block - Rated TV-PG13
Duck: Then, it's..
My Little Pornstar - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences
Duck: With...
Adventures Of Thomas & friends - Rated TV-Y7
Henry: Duh, what's a pornstar?
Duck: *Closes his eyes* tu don't want to know.
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 5: War poni, pony
May 15, 1951
The korean war has been going on for months. Everypony on the Union Pacific was doing their best to deliver supplies to Las Pegasus for use in the U.S military.
Gordon: *doing yard work*
Pete: Gordon, I have something for tu to do.
Gordon: Great! I'm doing a lot of that here.
Pete: I want tu to go to Las Pegasus.
Gordon: Cool. What am I going to do?
Pete: tu no longer have to work in the yards, but get to drive a train.
Gordon: Swee-- I don't have to work with Hawkeye, right?
Pete: Nope. tu gotta work with.....
Gordon: (Please say Honey, please say Honey.)
Pete: Coffee Creme.
Gordon: (Shit) *smiles* Great. I'll get to work right away.
After his fake smile toward Pete, Gordon went to the servicing facility to get his engine for the train. He would be driving a 4-6-6-4 Challenger. A smaller version of the bigboy.
Jeff: Good morning Gordon.
Gordon: Where's Percy?
Jeff: He's fixing track. But don't tu know not to switch jobs without permission from the boss?
Gordon: Aha, aha, that was nearly a año ago.
Jeff: tu did get permission, right?
Gordon: Yeah! And I don't need your fat culo telling me what to do!
Jeff: tu say that, but it doesn't mean it's true. You're the fattest worker here in the U.P.
Gordon: Wow, way to offend me loser. *drives engine*
Gordon then drove his engine onto another track, where he would couple his engine to the train. 75 cars were in the train, and it was all going to L.P.
Gordon: *stops engine*
Coffee Creme: A little closer.
Gordon: ugh *backs up*
Coffee Creme: Perfect. *goes to air brakes*
Gordon: Let's go! Hurry up.
Coffee Creme: *connecting air brakes*
Gordon: *blows whistle*
Meanwhile, up in the signalbox
Snowflake: Hmm, that train must be ready. *turns signal green*
Gordon: *accelerates*
Coffee Creme: WAit!! *finishes connecting air brakes*
Unfortunately Coffee Creme was standing on the couplers while the train was in motion.
Gordon: Let's make this perra go faster *accelerates to 35*
Coffee Creme: *climbing to parte superior, arriba of tender*
Gordon: *sees Coffee Creme* What the fuck is she doing?
Coffee Creme: *runs toward cab*
Gordon: A red signal?! Ahhh, forget it. *drives faster*
Coffee Creme: Oh shit *nearly hits her head on signal, then gets in cab*
Gordon: Where the hell have tu been?
Coffee Creme: At the back of the locomotive tu careless nincompoop.
Gordon: Fuck you.
Coffee Creme: *grabs shovel* Where's the coal?
Gordon: This engine uses oil, we don't have coal.
Coffee Creme: So, how does the oil get into the firebox?
Gordon: Automatically. All tu have to do, is check our fuel, look out the other side of the window, and tell me something important. If it's not important, I'll ignore you.
Coffee Creme: Yeah, I'll let tu know, and call the news reporters.
Gordon: So funny I forgot to laugh.
Coffee Creme: There's a train in our way.
Gordon: *slows down* I think we might crash.
Coffee Creme: tu shouldn't have passed that red signal.
Gordon: That's not important *going 15*
Coffee Creme: We're going to hit it!
Gordon: *cover eyes*
Coffee Creme: *prepares to jump*
But before Coffee Creme jumped, Gordon's train stopped. It was literally half of a centimeter close to the other train.
Coffee Creme: What happened?
Gordon: I don't know, but it's completely unacceptable. Stay here, I'll be back.
Coffee Creme: I wanna go with you.
Gordon: Stay here!! I'll be back!
Coffee Creme: *sits in chair*
Gordon; *walks to other engine* It's so hot. *turns around*
Coffee Creme: *waiting*
Gordon: *comes back* Fuck it, tu go find out what's happening.
Coffee Creme: Me?
Gordon: No, Harry Trumare. Yes you, go!
Coffee Creme: *climbs out of cab*
Gordon: *grabs shovel* Take this with tu *throws it at Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: *grabs shovel*
Shortly after that, the train in front of Gordon started to move. Once it did, Percy drove up to them in a truck.
Coffee Creme: Hi Percy.
Percy: What's up Coffee? I just wanted tu to know there was a derailment because of the track's condition. You'll have to wait for me to fix it, and then tu can go.
Gordon: What did he say?
Coffee Creme: We have to wait for the tracks to be fixed.
Gordon: Nope. There has to be another way to get to Las Pegasus.
Percy: There isn't unless tu want to travel backwards for twenty miles.
Gordon: It'll be quicker than waiting for tu to fix the tracks. Get in Coffee Creme.
Coffee Creme: *gets in cab*
Gordon: *driving backwards*
Coffee Creme: How are we going to see which way we're going?
Gordon: When a train crashes into us, then we'll know.
Coffee Creme: Great.
Gordon: Oh, shut up. tu got a better idea?
Coffee Creme: Oui. We put the engine on the other side, and we know which way we're going.
Gordon: Nope. That takes too long.
Eventually they were going 70 miles an hour. They would reach the alternate route in no más than 15 minutes.
Coffee Creme: I'm surprised we haven't crashed yet.
Gordon: We're not going to.
Coffee Creme: I think we should just go forward. The tracks are probably fixed now.
Gordon: No, they're not. As a matter of fact, we had to wait for them to fix the track.
Coffee Creme: Still, could be worse.
Suddenly, the sound of a crashing train could be heard. Orion crashed into the back of Gordon's train.
(Everybody, say it with me)
Luckily, no one was hurt.
Except for the millions of passengers that probably just died on Orion's passenger train. Luckily, no one important was hurt.
Gordon ran surprisingly fast to the end of the train, and was getting prepared to use a spell that would get the derailed cars back onto the tracks.
Gordon: *panting* I have to make it. *nearly trips* I'm so close to the end. *lays on ground*
Gordon stopped, after only moving an inch, running alongside a train that was one mile long.
Coffee Creme: *teleports to end of train*
Gordon: No, no, no! Don't tell Orion anything!! *runs again* Damnit, I'm getting tired. *falls on ground*
Orion: He can't run for shit.
Coffee Creme: Really? Whatever, let's just get our trains back on the tracks, and repair the engines.
Orion: How are we going to do that?
Coffee Creme: *shows horn*
Orion: Oh yeah. Well, I'm a pegasus, so I can't do anything.
Coffee Creme: tu don't have to. Just keep your mouth shut about this.
Gordon: *shows up* Don't tell him anything!!
Coffee Creme: Did tu hear what I said? I told him to keep his mouth shut.
Gordon: Oh, yeah. I remeber now.
Orion: It's pronounced, re mem ber.
Gordon: Whatever *repairs engine*
Coffee Creme: *repairs freight cars*
Gordon: Ok. Now to check your rolling stock.
Coffee Creme: His passenger cars seem fine.
Gordon: It's called rolling stock.
Orion: Not always. Well, tu two did a great job. Better hurry, before we get late.
Gordon: Yeah, you're right. *teleports to engine*
Coffee Creme: *teleports to engine* So, have tu learned from your mistakes?
Gordon: What's a mistake?
Coffee Creme: (Why do I even try being nice to him?)
Gordon: *drives train* It was Orion who hit us. He saw us after all, why didn't he stop?
Coffee Creme: Whatever tu say.
150 minutos later, Gordon got the war equipment to Las Pegasus.
Sargent: About time. What the fuck took tu guys so long?
Gordon: A bunch of idiots got in our way, and derailed our train.
Sargent: None of this stuff better be damaged.
Gordon: It's not, but if it was, I'd fix it.
Sargent: *sees damaged jeeps* Would tu now?
And so, Gordon spent two hours helping the military repair jeeps. Then he went back to Cheyenne.
Pete: Well, I heard of an epic screw up tu caused with Orion's passenger train today.
Gordon: (Fuck!)
Pete: But I heard tu did a very good job fixing the damage caused por the train wreck.
Gordon: (Say what?) Thanks.
Pete: As a reward, I'm giving tu the entire week off.
Gordon: Thank tu sir.
Pete: Starting now.
Gordon: Yahoo! *runs away* I'm going to a playa alongside Neigh Jersey. See tu ponies in one week!!
The end
On the siguiente episode of Ponies On The Rails
Percy, and Jeff get some of the spotlight. In other words, they're getting their own episode
Song: link
Duck: I'll never understand how a poni, pony can drive a train.
Henry: Duh, what's a pony?
Duck: tu know what a horse is, don't you?
Henry: No. I don't know anything.
Duck: Forget it then. On The Block is up next.
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are friends live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: hola everypony. Great to see tu again.
Tom: Shut the f**k up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Tom, what was that for?
Tom: We need to forget about the jokes, and get things moving so the director won't get angry at us.
Master Sword: But we can't forget about jokes! This is a comedy show!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I never dicho we weren't going to do jokes.
Master Sword: Yes tu did.
Tom: No I didn't.
Master Sword: Well I'm pretty sure tu did.
Tom: Yeah, well that's your opinion.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Today's crossover parody, M*A*S*H Ponies On The Rails
Master Sword: And this is a crossover of.. Do we even have to say it? It's got both of the titles from the shows right there for you!
Audience: *Laughing*
For this crossover parody, the Season 3 Ponies On The Rails cast will be theirselves, but playing as the M*A*S*H ponies will be....
Tom Foolery as Captain Hawkeye Pierce
Saten Twist as Sargent Klinger
Double Scoop as Captain B.J Honnecut
Master Sword as Major Charles Emerson Winchester
Aina as Major Houllihan
and Mortomis as Colonel Potter
North Korea, 1953
One día at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit, Captain Hawkeye was in the swamp with B.J.
Hawkeye: Oh, Beej. We've got too many wounded coming in here.
Honnecut: Beej. If tu say that backwards, it's Jeeb.
Hawkeye: That's close enough to jeep.
Audience: *Laughing*
Winchester: *Walks in* What do tu two think you're doing?
Hawkeye: Nothing.
Honnecut: I never knew the army would punish somepony for doing nothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Winchester: Your humor fails to amuse me, but I will enjoy seeing tu two get sent to the klink. One más foul up, and you'll both be in the stockade for a long time.
Hawkeye: Klink? Stockade?
Honnecut: Make up your mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Colonel Potter was in his room talking on a telephone.
Colonel Potter: We need a new way to get patients from here back to their unit..... What's that?...... A Railway Line?..... Oh, it was just a joke..... Well, as soon as tu find another way, let me know.... Adios.
Hawkeye: *Walks in Potter's room* Hello Colonel.
Colonel Potter: Don't any of tu knock?
Hawkeye: What for? There's a war going on.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hawkeye: What's up?
Colonel Potter: Somepony just told me the dumbest joke. He thought it was funny to tell me that we'd make a Railway to take ponies from here to their unit. It just wastes too much time.
Hawkeye: *Getting an idea* Maybe it's not good as a joke, but it's good for another thing. *Leaves office*
Colonel Potter: What's that supposed to mean?
Meanwhile, in Cheyenne Wyoming, also in the año 1953
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: *Looking at telegram from Korea* I don't believe this!
Percy: *Walks into office* Sir? Everything okay?
Pete: No! We need to expand our line all the way to Korea!
Percy: tu don't wanna go there. There's a war going on. *Leaves*
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: Leave it to the army to screw things up.
Audience: *Laughing*
So the line was built all the way across the Pacific Ocean from San Franciscolt to Seoul. Then, it went all around the Equestrian Army's territory going to many M*A*S*H units, and army bases.
Major Houllihan: What is the meaning of all this?
Sargent Klinger: It's a Railway line.
A train was going across, but all of a sudden the bridge blew up.
Hawkeye: What happened?
Colonel Potter: That was one of ours!
Honnecut: What were they thinking?
Colonel Potter: They had no idea about this. Like I said, the army always screw things up.
Hawkeye: I have a feeling somepony dicho that before you.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the siguiente part of this episode, Tom Foolery, and Master Sword introduce us to más ponies. Again.
They are...
Cosmic arco iris from Emo_Brony47
Heartsong from Scougesgirl
Annie from Ameliarose2002
Blaze from Liam_A_Ninja
Sophie Shimmer from Aquagirl445
Snow Wonder from Dragonaura15
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on calle corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing siguiente to Double Scoop*
Tom: más ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands siguiente to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 2: más Introductions
Announcer: On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Announcer: Need I say more?
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Making a Jack-O lantern with an ice cream cone*
Snow Wonder: *Looking at Jack-O lantern* That looks really beautiful.
Double Scoop: Thanks. Have tu ever wondered what the O stands for in Jack-O lantern?
Snow Wonder: No. What?
Double Scoop: Off.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Snow Wonder: Okay. *Walks away*
Meanwhile at Blaze's house, he was playing Call Of Duty: Advanced Warfare with Cosmic Rainbow.
Cosmic Rainbow: This game wasn't supposed to come out until November. How did tu get it?
Blaze: With a little persuasion.
Cosmic Rainbow: What kind of persuasion?
Blaze: The kind that risks lives.
Audience: *Laughing*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Gets shot* Wait, what the hell? I shot that guy seven times in the head, and he never died.
Blaze: That's ridiculous. tu must have missed.
Cosmic Rainbow: How does one miss the head of a poni, pony when shooting a gun?
Audience: *Laughing*
Blaze: I'm not even gonna bother arguing with tu *His character falls through the ground* Wait, what the--
Cosmic Rainbow: Be prepared for the ultimate rage.
Blaze: FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU
He was shouting so loud that it was heard everywhere. It was heard in Manehattan, on the train to Canterlot, and it was even heard in China.
Chinese Pony: Sounds rike somepony is angry.
Chinese poni, pony 2: Jawohr.
Chinese Pony: Stop trying to speak German.
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at Blaze's house...
Blaze: *Takes game out of PS4, and puts it back in case* This is stupid.
Cosmic Rainbow: What are tu going to do?
Blaze: I am going to-
The doorbell rang.
Blaze: Hmm. *Brings game to the front door, and opens the door*
Colt: *Dressed up as a tree* Trick o treat.
Blaze: Here, have a videogame. *Gives game to Colt*
Colt: Awesome! *Runs away with game*
Audience: *Laughing*
Cosmic Rainbow: tu gave a six año old a rated M game?
Blaze: Have tu ever tried giving a yo yo to a poni, pony at the age of 67?
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile at a retirement center.
Old Pony: *Tied up in yo yo* Oh fiddlesticks. I'll have to call Jimmy again. This is the 24th time I got stuck in this contraption.
Audience: *Laughing*
And now, it's time for fanmail from your favorito! six ponies, the mane 6!
Audience: *Cheering, whistling, and clapping*
Announcer: Just one thing we need to tell you. Twilight Sparkle did something bad, and Celestia has punished her, por giving her the voice of Ice Cube.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Man, it ain't funny! Da f*q does everypony have to laugh at me for?
Pinkie Pie: Come on Twilight, I think tu sound great with your new voice.
Audience: *Laughing*
Applejack: Let's start with the fanmail, shall we?
Heartsong, and Annie start bringing them notes.
Fluttershy: *Takes letter* Here's one for me. Dear Fluttershy, when are tu going to stop being a coward?
arco iris Dash: When computers start growing arms, and legs.
Audience: *Laughing*
Fluttershy: *Very sad* I like myself just the way I am.
Rarity: I don't think you're a coward.
Twilight: Man, I just hope none of the letters I get are bad.
Rarity: Well I know none of my letters will be bad. *Opens envelope* Here's a letter from Hank, age 19. *Nervous* Dear Rarity, why are tu a really big sex addict? Every picture I have seen of tu is porn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Rarity: *Hiding under table*
Applejack: Man, this ain't fan mail. It's hate mail.
Audience: *Laughing*
arco iris Dash: What letter did tu get?
Applejack: Let me check. *Reading letter* Dear Applejack, are all rednecks as stupid as you?
Audience: *Laughing*
arco iris Dash: *Laughing*
Applejack: Well tu wouldn't be laughing if tu got a disrespectful letter like that.
arco iris Dash: No one would dare to send me a hate letter. I'm arco iris Dash!
A light was shining on her, and ángeles started playing lyres.
Audience: *Laughing*
arco iris Dash: *Gets letter* Dear arco iris Dash, tu are very arrogant. *Angry* Okay, if being loyal is arrogant, than saying good morning is a death threat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, ooh. I want a letter!
Annie: *Gives Pinkie Pie a letter*
Applejack: I'd be surprised if someone wrote something nice to her.
Pinkie Pie: *Reading letter* Dear Pinkie Pie, do tu take drugs during any of your parties? No, because drugs are bad, and they're for stupid ponies like Applejack.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Applejack: *Sarcastic* Thanks Pinkie Pie. I amor tu too.
Twilight: Man, I didn't get any letters!
Heartsong: *Gives Twilight a letter*
Twilight: *Reading letter* This letter is from the capucha, campana of Compton, L.A. Dear Twilight Sparkle, how does it feel to be one of us now?
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Man, I ain't one of you. I ain't no N word. Am I allowed to say the actual word?
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: tu know what? I think this has been going bad enough for everypony.
Heartsong: Really? The audience seems to like it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Heartsong: And I like how this is going too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: Well too bad. That's all the time we got for fanmail. Coming up next, it's Celebrity Jeopardy.
Audience: *Clapping*
The cast for this episode of Celebrity Jeopardy is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game mostrar wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Cosmic arco iris as Scott Eastwood (The son of Clint Eastwood)
and Blaze as Tom Hanks
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Since the current mes is October, most of our categories will be related to Halloween. With that said, let's take a look at the board. Tom Hanks is in third place with negative 84,000 dollars.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I've been in mostrar business for a long time Alex, and frankly, I don't like the wages you're paying me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Too bad. Sean the hedgehog is in first place with negative 8,000 dollars.
Audience: *Clapping*
Sean: Why do tu keep giving everypony negative amounts of money Trebek? Did tu get robbed por a three año old?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Ignores Sean* Moving on. Scott Eastwood is in segundo place with negative sixteen thousand dollars.
Audience: *Clapping*
Scott: Hi dad. If you're watching this, I'm going to let everypony know about how awesome tu are, and how successful tu are in acting.
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: I'm going to be just like him.
Alex: Fantastic. Now it's time for Double Jeopardy. The categories are..
Potent Potables
The Vowels, and numbers before ten
Holidays that end in alloween
Decorations
What's that smell
Frankenstein
And finally, pumpkins
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Starting off will be Tom Hanks since he's in last place.
Tom: I'm losing? I gotta run faster!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It's not a race.... Scott, why don't tu pick a category?
Scott: Sure thing Mr. Trebek. I'll take cine that my dad starred in for seven hundred.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's not a category.
Scott: Then, how about cine that I starred in for seven hundred?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: How about The vowels, and numbers before ten for 200? The answer is, "This number is between 7, and 9, and also comes before 10"
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. The Hedgehog?
Sean: A pair of breasts!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That wasn't neccesary.
Sean: Well that's what it looks like Trebek. tu should know por staring at your brother's.
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Eastwood?
Scott: My dad starred in this really great movie called The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, and he killed a bunch of bad guys in the wildwest.
He ran out of time.
Alex: Time is up, fortunately. The answer was 8. That number is between 7, and 9 while being before 10.
Sean: Turn 8 sideways, and it looks like a pair of breasts.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Yes, I know. Scott, why don't tu choose a category for us.
Scott: With pleasure. Let's try cine that my dad starred in for a thousand.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It seems like your dad is the only thing tu think about.
Scott: Not really. Mostly, I think about the cine he starred in.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: tu know what? Let's just go with Decorations for 400. Now the answer is, "These decorations can be put on a tree."
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Yes Sean?
Sean: Your grand daughter's clothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What?
Sean: Before I slept with her on navidad last year, she took all her clothing off, and put it on the tree.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Someone else, before I decide to end this?
Sean: End what? This is going great so far!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's it. Final Jeopardy. The category for tu three is your favorito! color.
The final jeopardy música starts to play.
Alex: There are a lot of colors, so there's no way tu should get this wrong.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Think of any color, and write it down. It could be red, yellow, green, o blue. o to make things easier for you, the colores of the rainbow.
Audience: *Laughing*
The timer rang.
Alex: Okay, let's see what tu three wrote down. *Goes to Tom's board* Okay Tom, *Sees his podium is broken* The screen on your podium... What happened to it?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Well I was escritura down my favorito! color, and all of a sudden it broke. tu really need better equipment.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Moving on. *Goes to Scott's board* Mr. Eastwood wrote down. *Looks at his board* Where Eagles Dare? What's that supposed to mean?
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: It was a movie my dad starred in in 1968.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Maybe your relationship with him is not a good one.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And... *Goes to Sean's board* Our only contestant that's not a poni, pony wrote down *Looks at his board* Blue. He wrote down his favorito! color, now I just hope he doesn't say anything bad about me like last time.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: I was only speaking the truth.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Whatever. tu wagered... Me. Blue me?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Laughing* No thank you, that's what a mare is for.
Alex: I don't get it.
Sean: Oh yes tu do!
Alex: And that's all the time we have for Celebrity Jeopardy. Hopefully, for a long long time.
Audience: *Clapping*
In the siguiente part of this episode, Sophie Shimmer stars as a poni, pony that works in a body shop.
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as aceituna, oliva
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
The bodyshop is a place where ponies repair cars. It's hard work, but everypony enjoys it. I can think of something else that's hard for others to enjoy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Alright everypony, we're expecting two cars to come in today. One is an '03 Pearla, and the other is a much newer SUV.
Wheel Bearing: tu don't know what type of SUV it is?
Mr. Beddler: No. I don't even know what SUV stands for.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I'm sure nopony knows.
Audience: *Laughing*
Cutlass Supreme: Which ponies do tu want on which car?
Mr. Beddler: I was just getting to that Cutlass. You, Danielle, and Wheel Bearing will work on the Chevy Pearla. The rest of tu work on the SUV.
Tim: How are we supposed to work on something if tu don't know what it is?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: I know what it is, I just don't know what it stands for.
Tim: Aw, Mr. Beddler. You're being a bad influence to me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Well get changed into your uniforms. Those cars will be here any minute.
And so, they did. The cars soon arrived, but the car doors to the garaje were closed.
Car Owner: *Honks horn*
Mr. Beddler: What was that?
Tim: I don't know, but I don't care. I just want those cars to mostrar up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: *Honking horn*
Mr. Beddler: *Opens car door* Stop doing that. Someponies are waiting for two cars to arrive.
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: This is one of them.
Mr. Beddler: Then bring her in.
Car Owner: This ain't a her. I named it Karl.
Mr. Beddler: tu named a car Karl?
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: That's what it is. tu just gotta put an l at the end.
Audience: *Laughing*
The car owner brought his car in, and the SUV went in shortly after.
SUV Owner: How much would it cost to repaint this thing?
Mr. Beddler: What thing?
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: My car.
Mr. Beddler: Oh, this ain't a car. It's an SUV.
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: *Angry* All I want to know is how much it would cost to repaint my car.
Mr. Beddler: Repainting your SUV would cost about four hundred dollars.
SUV Owner: I could lost that much money playing Jeopardy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: What color do tu want your SUV?
SUV Owner: Same color.
Olive: Did somepony say they wanted to repaint their car?
SUV Owner: Yes?
Olive: *Throws naranja paint onto the SUV, and smiles* Problem solved.
Audience: *Laughing*
Olive: I would have gone for aceituna, oliva Green, since my name is Olive.
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: Well I would have gone somewhere else if I knew this bodyshop was run por idiots! *Gets back in his car, and drives away*
Mr. Beddler: *Very angry* you're fired...
Olive: Oh well. tu can't win them all.
Mr. Beddler: What's that supposed to mean?
Olive: I didn't win the chance of fixing that SUV. Well, at least I won't have to have somepony as a boss that doesn't know what an SUV is.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: *He gets so angry that his face turns red*
Audience: *Laughing*
It's time for the Ponyville news. With your news anchors, Double Scoop as Nate Witherspoon, and Heartsong as Hillary Tosh.
Audience: *Clapping*
Nate: Thank tu everypony. Thank you. Now quiet on the set!
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Being a new news company, do expect some foul ups in tonight's broadcast.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: Let's begin with the country of Japan. They had a volcán erupt last week, which injured forty ponies, and killed seven others.
Hillary: It seems like japón has been having a lot of bad things happening to them. The volcano, and that tsunami a few years ago, and then there was the bombing of Hiroshima, and Nagasaki.
Nate: Yeah, well they deserved it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Let's mover on to the weather.
Nate: Right. Our forecast for this week includes, a nice sunny día for Wednesday, and Thursday. Then, we get a partly cloudy día on Friday, followed por a nonstop thunderstorm on Saturday.
Hillary: It has to stop at sometime.
Nate: Maybe it will, when ponies stop getting scared over it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: On Sunday, we will have another partly cloudy day, but on Monday, and Tuesday, the shit hits the fan when it begins to snow.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: How did tu figure that out?
Nate: Farmer's almanac. Never lies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: And finally, before we mover onto commercials, we have a special visitor.
Nate: Coming all the way from the middle east, it's Major General Shayne Diesel.
Blaze is Shayne Diesel.
Audience: *Clapping, and cheering*
Shayne: Thanks for having me here. Any place is better than the Middle East.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: That's what we wanted to talk to tu about.
Hillary: How are your soldiers doing over there?
Shayne: Not too bad, except for the fact that they're dealing with a new terrorist group called ISIS.
Audience: *Booing* F*ck ISIS!!
Shayne: Don't worry everypony, we will stop them! After all, we are the United States of Equestria!
Nate: *Starts to think that Shayne is being annoying, and becomes sarcastic* Really? I thought this was Japan.
Shayne: Nah, tu don't wanna be there. They had a volcán erupt.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: And I thought Hawaii had volcán problems!
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Let's get back on the topic of ISIS.
Shayne: Ah yes, the disgrace to everypony that believes in freedom, and democracy. Freedom is what makes this world spin around!
A song starts to play in the background: link
Shayne: I'm talking about ponies that have a long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background!
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: And while they're giving that long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background, tu see the Equestrian Flag, with stars, and stripes, waving in the wind, and reminding tu that we are a powerful country!
Then the flag showed up behind Shayne in the background.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: We are a reminder to ISIS, that we have the toughest army in the world, and we will kill them all!! *Sings along to the song* This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: tu tried to attack us, but your attack failed! And now tu shall pay us the price, for tu attempting to attack our home!
Nate: *Confused*
Shayne: This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Hillary: I think he finally lost his mind.
Nate: Me too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: *Continues canto his song*
Nate, and Hillary snuck out of the studio. Shayne didn't notice, for he was too busy canto his song.
Audience: *Laughing*
And that's all the time we have for the news. Stop the song!!
Master Sword: Well, that's all the time we have for our mostrar today. Thank tu for watching.
Tom: Master Sword, this is an article. How do tu watch an article?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I don't know, but the announcer always says, "On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience."
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I see what tu mean. Well, thank tu for viewing this. How about that?
Song (Start at 0:29): link
Duck: Well, the first half of this mostrar is finished. Be sure to come back at 8:30 for the segundo half.
Henry: Duh, what's a half?
Duck: *Annoyed, he looks back at Henry* Go ask somebody else.
Hawkeye: *Hears the song playing*
Tim: Okay, who turned on that song?
Tom: Get something better on for crying outloud!!
Mortomis: Yeah!
Captain Jefferson: Fine. *Switches the song*
Song: link
Captain Jefferson: tu don't know good música when tu hear it.
Percy: We're back!
James: Everyone already knows that Percy.
Henry: *Crosseyed* Duh, hi, I'm Henry, and I'm so hungry, I can eat your whole face off.
Duck: *Stops siguiente to Henry* That's not right Henry. Hi guys, pato here with Henry. He's hosting this week, but as tu can tell, he's an idiot, so I'm helping him host this week of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories.
Henry: Duh, what's a story?
Duck: Up first as usual it's...
Ponies On The Rails - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences
Duck: Followed by...
On The Block - Rated TV-PG13
Duck: Then, it's..
My Little Pornstar - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences
Duck: With...
Adventures Of Thomas & friends - Rated TV-Y7
Henry: Duh, what's a pornstar?
Duck: *Closes his eyes* tu don't want to know.
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 5: War poni, pony
May 15, 1951
The korean war has been going on for months. Everypony on the Union Pacific was doing their best to deliver supplies to Las Pegasus for use in the U.S military.
Gordon: *doing yard work*
Pete: Gordon, I have something for tu to do.
Gordon: Great! I'm doing a lot of that here.
Pete: I want tu to go to Las Pegasus.
Gordon: Cool. What am I going to do?
Pete: tu no longer have to work in the yards, but get to drive a train.
Gordon: Swee-- I don't have to work with Hawkeye, right?
Pete: Nope. tu gotta work with.....
Gordon: (Please say Honey, please say Honey.)
Pete: Coffee Creme.
Gordon: (Shit) *smiles* Great. I'll get to work right away.
After his fake smile toward Pete, Gordon went to the servicing facility to get his engine for the train. He would be driving a 4-6-6-4 Challenger. A smaller version of the bigboy.
Jeff: Good morning Gordon.
Gordon: Where's Percy?
Jeff: He's fixing track. But don't tu know not to switch jobs without permission from the boss?
Gordon: Aha, aha, that was nearly a año ago.
Jeff: tu did get permission, right?
Gordon: Yeah! And I don't need your fat culo telling me what to do!
Jeff: tu say that, but it doesn't mean it's true. You're the fattest worker here in the U.P.
Gordon: Wow, way to offend me loser. *drives engine*
Gordon then drove his engine onto another track, where he would couple his engine to the train. 75 cars were in the train, and it was all going to L.P.
Gordon: *stops engine*
Coffee Creme: A little closer.
Gordon: ugh *backs up*
Coffee Creme: Perfect. *goes to air brakes*
Gordon: Let's go! Hurry up.
Coffee Creme: *connecting air brakes*
Gordon: *blows whistle*
Meanwhile, up in the signalbox
Snowflake: Hmm, that train must be ready. *turns signal green*
Gordon: *accelerates*
Coffee Creme: WAit!! *finishes connecting air brakes*
Unfortunately Coffee Creme was standing on the couplers while the train was in motion.
Gordon: Let's make this perra go faster *accelerates to 35*
Coffee Creme: *climbing to parte superior, arriba of tender*
Gordon: *sees Coffee Creme* What the fuck is she doing?
Coffee Creme: *runs toward cab*
Gordon: A red signal?! Ahhh, forget it. *drives faster*
Coffee Creme: Oh shit *nearly hits her head on signal, then gets in cab*
Gordon: Where the hell have tu been?
Coffee Creme: At the back of the locomotive tu careless nincompoop.
Gordon: Fuck you.
Coffee Creme: *grabs shovel* Where's the coal?
Gordon: This engine uses oil, we don't have coal.
Coffee Creme: So, how does the oil get into the firebox?
Gordon: Automatically. All tu have to do, is check our fuel, look out the other side of the window, and tell me something important. If it's not important, I'll ignore you.
Coffee Creme: Yeah, I'll let tu know, and call the news reporters.
Gordon: So funny I forgot to laugh.
Coffee Creme: There's a train in our way.
Gordon: *slows down* I think we might crash.
Coffee Creme: tu shouldn't have passed that red signal.
Gordon: That's not important *going 15*
Coffee Creme: We're going to hit it!
Gordon: *cover eyes*
Coffee Creme: *prepares to jump*
But before Coffee Creme jumped, Gordon's train stopped. It was literally half of a centimeter close to the other train.
Coffee Creme: What happened?
Gordon: I don't know, but it's completely unacceptable. Stay here, I'll be back.
Coffee Creme: I wanna go with you.
Gordon: Stay here!! I'll be back!
Coffee Creme: *sits in chair*
Gordon; *walks to other engine* It's so hot. *turns around*
Coffee Creme: *waiting*
Gordon: *comes back* Fuck it, tu go find out what's happening.
Coffee Creme: Me?
Gordon: No, Harry Trumare. Yes you, go!
Coffee Creme: *climbs out of cab*
Gordon: *grabs shovel* Take this with tu *throws it at Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: *grabs shovel*
Shortly after that, the train in front of Gordon started to move. Once it did, Percy drove up to them in a truck.
Coffee Creme: Hi Percy.
Percy: What's up Coffee? I just wanted tu to know there was a derailment because of the track's condition. You'll have to wait for me to fix it, and then tu can go.
Gordon: What did he say?
Coffee Creme: We have to wait for the tracks to be fixed.
Gordon: Nope. There has to be another way to get to Las Pegasus.
Percy: There isn't unless tu want to travel backwards for twenty miles.
Gordon: It'll be quicker than waiting for tu to fix the tracks. Get in Coffee Creme.
Coffee Creme: *gets in cab*
Gordon: *driving backwards*
Coffee Creme: How are we going to see which way we're going?
Gordon: When a train crashes into us, then we'll know.
Coffee Creme: Great.
Gordon: Oh, shut up. tu got a better idea?
Coffee Creme: Oui. We put the engine on the other side, and we know which way we're going.
Gordon: Nope. That takes too long.
Eventually they were going 70 miles an hour. They would reach the alternate route in no más than 15 minutes.
Coffee Creme: I'm surprised we haven't crashed yet.
Gordon: We're not going to.
Coffee Creme: I think we should just go forward. The tracks are probably fixed now.
Gordon: No, they're not. As a matter of fact, we had to wait for them to fix the track.
Coffee Creme: Still, could be worse.
Suddenly, the sound of a crashing train could be heard. Orion crashed into the back of Gordon's train.
(Everybody, say it with me)
Luckily, no one was hurt.
Except for the millions of passengers that probably just died on Orion's passenger train. Luckily, no one important was hurt.
Gordon ran surprisingly fast to the end of the train, and was getting prepared to use a spell that would get the derailed cars back onto the tracks.
Gordon: *panting* I have to make it. *nearly trips* I'm so close to the end. *lays on ground*
Gordon stopped, after only moving an inch, running alongside a train that was one mile long.
Coffee Creme: *teleports to end of train*
Gordon: No, no, no! Don't tell Orion anything!! *runs again* Damnit, I'm getting tired. *falls on ground*
Orion: He can't run for shit.
Coffee Creme: Really? Whatever, let's just get our trains back on the tracks, and repair the engines.
Orion: How are we going to do that?
Coffee Creme: *shows horn*
Orion: Oh yeah. Well, I'm a pegasus, so I can't do anything.
Coffee Creme: tu don't have to. Just keep your mouth shut about this.
Gordon: *shows up* Don't tell him anything!!
Coffee Creme: Did tu hear what I said? I told him to keep his mouth shut.
Gordon: Oh, yeah. I remeber now.
Orion: It's pronounced, re mem ber.
Gordon: Whatever *repairs engine*
Coffee Creme: *repairs freight cars*
Gordon: Ok. Now to check your rolling stock.
Coffee Creme: His passenger cars seem fine.
Gordon: It's called rolling stock.
Orion: Not always. Well, tu two did a great job. Better hurry, before we get late.
Gordon: Yeah, you're right. *teleports to engine*
Coffee Creme: *teleports to engine* So, have tu learned from your mistakes?
Gordon: What's a mistake?
Coffee Creme: (Why do I even try being nice to him?)
Gordon: *drives train* It was Orion who hit us. He saw us after all, why didn't he stop?
Coffee Creme: Whatever tu say.
150 minutos later, Gordon got the war equipment to Las Pegasus.
Sargent: About time. What the fuck took tu guys so long?
Gordon: A bunch of idiots got in our way, and derailed our train.
Sargent: None of this stuff better be damaged.
Gordon: It's not, but if it was, I'd fix it.
Sargent: *sees damaged jeeps* Would tu now?
And so, Gordon spent two hours helping the military repair jeeps. Then he went back to Cheyenne.
Pete: Well, I heard of an epic screw up tu caused with Orion's passenger train today.
Gordon: (Fuck!)
Pete: But I heard tu did a very good job fixing the damage caused por the train wreck.
Gordon: (Say what?) Thanks.
Pete: As a reward, I'm giving tu the entire week off.
Gordon: Thank tu sir.
Pete: Starting now.
Gordon: Yahoo! *runs away* I'm going to a playa alongside Neigh Jersey. See tu ponies in one week!!
The end
On the siguiente episode of Ponies On The Rails
Percy, and Jeff get some of the spotlight. In other words, they're getting their own episode
Song: link
Duck: I'll never understand how a poni, pony can drive a train.
Henry: Duh, what's a pony?
Duck: tu know what a horse is, don't you?
Henry: No. I don't know anything.
Duck: Forget it then. On The Block is up next.
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are friends live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: hola everypony. Great to see tu again.
Tom: Shut the f**k up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Tom, what was that for?
Tom: We need to forget about the jokes, and get things moving so the director won't get angry at us.
Master Sword: But we can't forget about jokes! This is a comedy show!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I never dicho we weren't going to do jokes.
Master Sword: Yes tu did.
Tom: No I didn't.
Master Sword: Well I'm pretty sure tu did.
Tom: Yeah, well that's your opinion.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Today's crossover parody, M*A*S*H Ponies On The Rails
Master Sword: And this is a crossover of.. Do we even have to say it? It's got both of the titles from the shows right there for you!
Audience: *Laughing*
For this crossover parody, the Season 3 Ponies On The Rails cast will be theirselves, but playing as the M*A*S*H ponies will be....
Tom Foolery as Captain Hawkeye Pierce
Saten Twist as Sargent Klinger
Double Scoop as Captain B.J Honnecut
Master Sword as Major Charles Emerson Winchester
Aina as Major Houllihan
and Mortomis as Colonel Potter
North Korea, 1953
One día at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit, Captain Hawkeye was in the swamp with B.J.
Hawkeye: Oh, Beej. We've got too many wounded coming in here.
Honnecut: Beej. If tu say that backwards, it's Jeeb.
Hawkeye: That's close enough to jeep.
Audience: *Laughing*
Winchester: *Walks in* What do tu two think you're doing?
Hawkeye: Nothing.
Honnecut: I never knew the army would punish somepony for doing nothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Winchester: Your humor fails to amuse me, but I will enjoy seeing tu two get sent to the klink. One más foul up, and you'll both be in the stockade for a long time.
Hawkeye: Klink? Stockade?
Honnecut: Make up your mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Colonel Potter was in his room talking on a telephone.
Colonel Potter: We need a new way to get patients from here back to their unit..... What's that?...... A Railway Line?..... Oh, it was just a joke..... Well, as soon as tu find another way, let me know.... Adios.
Hawkeye: *Walks in Potter's room* Hello Colonel.
Colonel Potter: Don't any of tu knock?
Hawkeye: What for? There's a war going on.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hawkeye: What's up?
Colonel Potter: Somepony just told me the dumbest joke. He thought it was funny to tell me that we'd make a Railway to take ponies from here to their unit. It just wastes too much time.
Hawkeye: *Getting an idea* Maybe it's not good as a joke, but it's good for another thing. *Leaves office*
Colonel Potter: What's that supposed to mean?
Meanwhile, in Cheyenne Wyoming, also in the año 1953
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: *Looking at telegram from Korea* I don't believe this!
Percy: *Walks into office* Sir? Everything okay?
Pete: No! We need to expand our line all the way to Korea!
Percy: tu don't wanna go there. There's a war going on. *Leaves*
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: Leave it to the army to screw things up.
Audience: *Laughing*
So the line was built all the way across the Pacific Ocean from San Franciscolt to Seoul. Then, it went all around the Equestrian Army's territory going to many M*A*S*H units, and army bases.
Major Houllihan: What is the meaning of all this?
Sargent Klinger: It's a Railway line.
A train was going across, but all of a sudden the bridge blew up.
Hawkeye: What happened?
Colonel Potter: That was one of ours!
Honnecut: What were they thinking?
Colonel Potter: They had no idea about this. Like I said, the army always screw things up.
Hawkeye: I have a feeling somepony dicho that before you.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the siguiente part of this episode, Tom Foolery, and Master Sword introduce us to más ponies. Again.
They are...
Cosmic arco iris from Emo_Brony47
Heartsong from Scougesgirl
Annie from Ameliarose2002
Blaze from Liam_A_Ninja
Sophie Shimmer from Aquagirl445
Snow Wonder from Dragonaura15
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on calle corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing siguiente to Double Scoop*
Tom: más ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands siguiente to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 2: más Introductions
Announcer: On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Announcer: Need I say more?
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Making a Jack-O lantern with an ice cream cone*
Snow Wonder: *Looking at Jack-O lantern* That looks really beautiful.
Double Scoop: Thanks. Have tu ever wondered what the O stands for in Jack-O lantern?
Snow Wonder: No. What?
Double Scoop: Off.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Snow Wonder: Okay. *Walks away*
Meanwhile at Blaze's house, he was playing Call Of Duty: Advanced Warfare with Cosmic Rainbow.
Cosmic Rainbow: This game wasn't supposed to come out until November. How did tu get it?
Blaze: With a little persuasion.
Cosmic Rainbow: What kind of persuasion?
Blaze: The kind that risks lives.
Audience: *Laughing*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Gets shot* Wait, what the hell? I shot that guy seven times in the head, and he never died.
Blaze: That's ridiculous. tu must have missed.
Cosmic Rainbow: How does one miss the head of a poni, pony when shooting a gun?
Audience: *Laughing*
Blaze: I'm not even gonna bother arguing with tu *His character falls through the ground* Wait, what the--
Cosmic Rainbow: Be prepared for the ultimate rage.
Blaze: FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU
He was shouting so loud that it was heard everywhere. It was heard in Manehattan, on the train to Canterlot, and it was even heard in China.
Chinese Pony: Sounds rike somepony is angry.
Chinese poni, pony 2: Jawohr.
Chinese Pony: Stop trying to speak German.
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at Blaze's house...
Blaze: *Takes game out of PS4, and puts it back in case* This is stupid.
Cosmic Rainbow: What are tu going to do?
Blaze: I am going to-
The doorbell rang.
Blaze: Hmm. *Brings game to the front door, and opens the door*
Colt: *Dressed up as a tree* Trick o treat.
Blaze: Here, have a videogame. *Gives game to Colt*
Colt: Awesome! *Runs away with game*
Audience: *Laughing*
Cosmic Rainbow: tu gave a six año old a rated M game?
Blaze: Have tu ever tried giving a yo yo to a poni, pony at the age of 67?
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile at a retirement center.
Old Pony: *Tied up in yo yo* Oh fiddlesticks. I'll have to call Jimmy again. This is the 24th time I got stuck in this contraption.
Audience: *Laughing*
And now, it's time for fanmail from your favorito! six ponies, the mane 6!
Audience: *Cheering, whistling, and clapping*
Announcer: Just one thing we need to tell you. Twilight Sparkle did something bad, and Celestia has punished her, por giving her the voice of Ice Cube.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Man, it ain't funny! Da f*q does everypony have to laugh at me for?
Pinkie Pie: Come on Twilight, I think tu sound great with your new voice.
Audience: *Laughing*
Applejack: Let's start with the fanmail, shall we?
Heartsong, and Annie start bringing them notes.
Fluttershy: *Takes letter* Here's one for me. Dear Fluttershy, when are tu going to stop being a coward?
arco iris Dash: When computers start growing arms, and legs.
Audience: *Laughing*
Fluttershy: *Very sad* I like myself just the way I am.
Rarity: I don't think you're a coward.
Twilight: Man, I just hope none of the letters I get are bad.
Rarity: Well I know none of my letters will be bad. *Opens envelope* Here's a letter from Hank, age 19. *Nervous* Dear Rarity, why are tu a really big sex addict? Every picture I have seen of tu is porn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Rarity: *Hiding under table*
Applejack: Man, this ain't fan mail. It's hate mail.
Audience: *Laughing*
arco iris Dash: What letter did tu get?
Applejack: Let me check. *Reading letter* Dear Applejack, are all rednecks as stupid as you?
Audience: *Laughing*
arco iris Dash: *Laughing*
Applejack: Well tu wouldn't be laughing if tu got a disrespectful letter like that.
arco iris Dash: No one would dare to send me a hate letter. I'm arco iris Dash!
A light was shining on her, and ángeles started playing lyres.
Audience: *Laughing*
arco iris Dash: *Gets letter* Dear arco iris Dash, tu are very arrogant. *Angry* Okay, if being loyal is arrogant, than saying good morning is a death threat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, ooh. I want a letter!
Annie: *Gives Pinkie Pie a letter*
Applejack: I'd be surprised if someone wrote something nice to her.
Pinkie Pie: *Reading letter* Dear Pinkie Pie, do tu take drugs during any of your parties? No, because drugs are bad, and they're for stupid ponies like Applejack.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Applejack: *Sarcastic* Thanks Pinkie Pie. I amor tu too.
Twilight: Man, I didn't get any letters!
Heartsong: *Gives Twilight a letter*
Twilight: *Reading letter* This letter is from the capucha, campana of Compton, L.A. Dear Twilight Sparkle, how does it feel to be one of us now?
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Man, I ain't one of you. I ain't no N word. Am I allowed to say the actual word?
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: tu know what? I think this has been going bad enough for everypony.
Heartsong: Really? The audience seems to like it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Heartsong: And I like how this is going too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: Well too bad. That's all the time we got for fanmail. Coming up next, it's Celebrity Jeopardy.
Audience: *Clapping*
The cast for this episode of Celebrity Jeopardy is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game mostrar wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Cosmic arco iris as Scott Eastwood (The son of Clint Eastwood)
and Blaze as Tom Hanks
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Since the current mes is October, most of our categories will be related to Halloween. With that said, let's take a look at the board. Tom Hanks is in third place with negative 84,000 dollars.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I've been in mostrar business for a long time Alex, and frankly, I don't like the wages you're paying me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Too bad. Sean the hedgehog is in first place with negative 8,000 dollars.
Audience: *Clapping*
Sean: Why do tu keep giving everypony negative amounts of money Trebek? Did tu get robbed por a three año old?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Ignores Sean* Moving on. Scott Eastwood is in segundo place with negative sixteen thousand dollars.
Audience: *Clapping*
Scott: Hi dad. If you're watching this, I'm going to let everypony know about how awesome tu are, and how successful tu are in acting.
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: I'm going to be just like him.
Alex: Fantastic. Now it's time for Double Jeopardy. The categories are..
Potent Potables
The Vowels, and numbers before ten
Holidays that end in alloween
Decorations
What's that smell
Frankenstein
And finally, pumpkins
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Starting off will be Tom Hanks since he's in last place.
Tom: I'm losing? I gotta run faster!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It's not a race.... Scott, why don't tu pick a category?
Scott: Sure thing Mr. Trebek. I'll take cine that my dad starred in for seven hundred.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's not a category.
Scott: Then, how about cine that I starred in for seven hundred?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: How about The vowels, and numbers before ten for 200? The answer is, "This number is between 7, and 9, and also comes before 10"
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. The Hedgehog?
Sean: A pair of breasts!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That wasn't neccesary.
Sean: Well that's what it looks like Trebek. tu should know por staring at your brother's.
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Eastwood?
Scott: My dad starred in this really great movie called The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, and he killed a bunch of bad guys in the wildwest.
He ran out of time.
Alex: Time is up, fortunately. The answer was 8. That number is between 7, and 9 while being before 10.
Sean: Turn 8 sideways, and it looks like a pair of breasts.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Yes, I know. Scott, why don't tu choose a category for us.
Scott: With pleasure. Let's try cine that my dad starred in for a thousand.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It seems like your dad is the only thing tu think about.
Scott: Not really. Mostly, I think about the cine he starred in.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: tu know what? Let's just go with Decorations for 400. Now the answer is, "These decorations can be put on a tree."
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Yes Sean?
Sean: Your grand daughter's clothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What?
Sean: Before I slept with her on navidad last year, she took all her clothing off, and put it on the tree.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Someone else, before I decide to end this?
Sean: End what? This is going great so far!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's it. Final Jeopardy. The category for tu three is your favorito! color.
The final jeopardy música starts to play.
Alex: There are a lot of colors, so there's no way tu should get this wrong.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Think of any color, and write it down. It could be red, yellow, green, o blue. o to make things easier for you, the colores of the rainbow.
Audience: *Laughing*
The timer rang.
Alex: Okay, let's see what tu three wrote down. *Goes to Tom's board* Okay Tom, *Sees his podium is broken* The screen on your podium... What happened to it?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Well I was escritura down my favorito! color, and all of a sudden it broke. tu really need better equipment.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Moving on. *Goes to Scott's board* Mr. Eastwood wrote down. *Looks at his board* Where Eagles Dare? What's that supposed to mean?
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: It was a movie my dad starred in in 1968.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Maybe your relationship with him is not a good one.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And... *Goes to Sean's board* Our only contestant that's not a poni, pony wrote down *Looks at his board* Blue. He wrote down his favorito! color, now I just hope he doesn't say anything bad about me like last time.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: I was only speaking the truth.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Whatever. tu wagered... Me. Blue me?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Laughing* No thank you, that's what a mare is for.
Alex: I don't get it.
Sean: Oh yes tu do!
Alex: And that's all the time we have for Celebrity Jeopardy. Hopefully, for a long long time.
Audience: *Clapping*
In the siguiente part of this episode, Sophie Shimmer stars as a poni, pony that works in a body shop.
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as aceituna, oliva
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
The bodyshop is a place where ponies repair cars. It's hard work, but everypony enjoys it. I can think of something else that's hard for others to enjoy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Alright everypony, we're expecting two cars to come in today. One is an '03 Pearla, and the other is a much newer SUV.
Wheel Bearing: tu don't know what type of SUV it is?
Mr. Beddler: No. I don't even know what SUV stands for.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I'm sure nopony knows.
Audience: *Laughing*
Cutlass Supreme: Which ponies do tu want on which car?
Mr. Beddler: I was just getting to that Cutlass. You, Danielle, and Wheel Bearing will work on the Chevy Pearla. The rest of tu work on the SUV.
Tim: How are we supposed to work on something if tu don't know what it is?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: I know what it is, I just don't know what it stands for.
Tim: Aw, Mr. Beddler. You're being a bad influence to me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Well get changed into your uniforms. Those cars will be here any minute.
And so, they did. The cars soon arrived, but the car doors to the garaje were closed.
Car Owner: *Honks horn*
Mr. Beddler: What was that?
Tim: I don't know, but I don't care. I just want those cars to mostrar up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: *Honking horn*
Mr. Beddler: *Opens car door* Stop doing that. Someponies are waiting for two cars to arrive.
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: This is one of them.
Mr. Beddler: Then bring her in.
Car Owner: This ain't a her. I named it Karl.
Mr. Beddler: tu named a car Karl?
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: That's what it is. tu just gotta put an l at the end.
Audience: *Laughing*
The car owner brought his car in, and the SUV went in shortly after.
SUV Owner: How much would it cost to repaint this thing?
Mr. Beddler: What thing?
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: My car.
Mr. Beddler: Oh, this ain't a car. It's an SUV.
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: *Angry* All I want to know is how much it would cost to repaint my car.
Mr. Beddler: Repainting your SUV would cost about four hundred dollars.
SUV Owner: I could lost that much money playing Jeopardy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: What color do tu want your SUV?
SUV Owner: Same color.
Olive: Did somepony say they wanted to repaint their car?
SUV Owner: Yes?
Olive: *Throws naranja paint onto the SUV, and smiles* Problem solved.
Audience: *Laughing*
Olive: I would have gone for aceituna, oliva Green, since my name is Olive.
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: Well I would have gone somewhere else if I knew this bodyshop was run por idiots! *Gets back in his car, and drives away*
Mr. Beddler: *Very angry* you're fired...
Olive: Oh well. tu can't win them all.
Mr. Beddler: What's that supposed to mean?
Olive: I didn't win the chance of fixing that SUV. Well, at least I won't have to have somepony as a boss that doesn't know what an SUV is.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: *He gets so angry that his face turns red*
Audience: *Laughing*
It's time for the Ponyville news. With your news anchors, Double Scoop as Nate Witherspoon, and Heartsong as Hillary Tosh.
Audience: *Clapping*
Nate: Thank tu everypony. Thank you. Now quiet on the set!
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Being a new news company, do expect some foul ups in tonight's broadcast.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: Let's begin with the country of Japan. They had a volcán erupt last week, which injured forty ponies, and killed seven others.
Hillary: It seems like japón has been having a lot of bad things happening to them. The volcano, and that tsunami a few years ago, and then there was the bombing of Hiroshima, and Nagasaki.
Nate: Yeah, well they deserved it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Let's mover on to the weather.
Nate: Right. Our forecast for this week includes, a nice sunny día for Wednesday, and Thursday. Then, we get a partly cloudy día on Friday, followed por a nonstop thunderstorm on Saturday.
Hillary: It has to stop at sometime.
Nate: Maybe it will, when ponies stop getting scared over it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: On Sunday, we will have another partly cloudy day, but on Monday, and Tuesday, the shit hits the fan when it begins to snow.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: How did tu figure that out?
Nate: Farmer's almanac. Never lies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: And finally, before we mover onto commercials, we have a special visitor.
Nate: Coming all the way from the middle east, it's Major General Shayne Diesel.
Blaze is Shayne Diesel.
Audience: *Clapping, and cheering*
Shayne: Thanks for having me here. Any place is better than the Middle East.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: That's what we wanted to talk to tu about.
Hillary: How are your soldiers doing over there?
Shayne: Not too bad, except for the fact that they're dealing with a new terrorist group called ISIS.
Audience: *Booing* F*ck ISIS!!
Shayne: Don't worry everypony, we will stop them! After all, we are the United States of Equestria!
Nate: *Starts to think that Shayne is being annoying, and becomes sarcastic* Really? I thought this was Japan.
Shayne: Nah, tu don't wanna be there. They had a volcán erupt.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: And I thought Hawaii had volcán problems!
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Let's get back on the topic of ISIS.
Shayne: Ah yes, the disgrace to everypony that believes in freedom, and democracy. Freedom is what makes this world spin around!
A song starts to play in the background: link
Shayne: I'm talking about ponies that have a long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background!
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: And while they're giving that long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background, tu see the Equestrian Flag, with stars, and stripes, waving in the wind, and reminding tu that we are a powerful country!
Then the flag showed up behind Shayne in the background.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: We are a reminder to ISIS, that we have the toughest army in the world, and we will kill them all!! *Sings along to the song* This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: tu tried to attack us, but your attack failed! And now tu shall pay us the price, for tu attempting to attack our home!
Nate: *Confused*
Shayne: This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Hillary: I think he finally lost his mind.
Nate: Me too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: *Continues canto his song*
Nate, and Hillary snuck out of the studio. Shayne didn't notice, for he was too busy canto his song.
Audience: *Laughing*
And that's all the time we have for the news. Stop the song!!
Master Sword: Well, that's all the time we have for our mostrar today. Thank tu for watching.
Tom: Master Sword, this is an article. How do tu watch an article?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I don't know, but the announcer always says, "On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience."
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I see what tu mean. Well, thank tu for viewing this. How about that?
Song (Start at 0:29): link
Duck: Well, the first half of this mostrar is finished. Be sure to come back at 8:30 for the segundo half.
Henry: Duh, what's a half?
Duck: *Annoyed, he looks back at Henry* Go ask somebody else.
