misceláneo Tumblr Posts

01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If tu can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If tu can't see Chuck Norris tu may be only segundos away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony,...

parte superior, arriba 25 Ways To Drive Your Roommate Crazy

1. Every time tu wake up, start yelling, “Oh, my God! Where the
hell am I?!” and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go
back to bed. If yourroommate asks, say tu don’t know what
he/she is talking about.

2. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, “I can’t live in the same
room with you,” storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid
of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever
again.

3. Buy a Jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the
clown...

79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your maletín o handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the muro without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him o her to call tu Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...

I'm Dreaming Of A Fat Christmas

It was navidad Eve. Selena sat yet on her head, sipping slow eggnog.

She looked at the cute barco hanging on the navidad árbol and sighed. Last year, alex had hung it there, just before they looked at each other conversely and then fell into each other's arms and stood each other's hand.

If only I hadn't been so pretty, Selena thought, pouring a funny amount of ron into her eggnog. Then alex might not have got so stupid and left me all alone at navidad time. She wiped away a fast tear and held her head in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and...

1. If using a touch-tone, press misceláneo numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their preguntas with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...

Act like tu know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: pizza becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their preguntas with questions.
Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many...

She wasn't young, but still a child
There was no innocence
In faded smiles
She called to me as I passed her by
Lady of the night looked in my eyes
She said, I been through some changes
But one thing always stays the same

Without love, there's nothing without love
And nothing else can get tu through the night
‘Cause nothing else feels right without love
Whoa

I saw a man down on lonely street
A broken man who looked like me
And no one knows the pain that he's been living
He lost his love, he still hasn't forgiven
He said, I've been through some changes
But one thing always stays the same

Without love, there's...

We would take no prisoners
'Cause there was nobody giving in
They came walking through my jungle
Met an ángel about to sin
I heard a voice from inside of me
When the youth of America cried
Can tu help me, hear me call

I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
To the fire
I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
To the fire

When you're a part of society
You know the corazón of your innocence dies
When we met with Authority
I looked him right between the eyes
'Cause all we had was our innocence
All we had was our hearts to try to win the...

After the smoke clears
And it's down to tu and I
When the sun appears
And there's nothing left but goodbyes
We'll just turn and walk away
How could we let it end like this
Just turn and walk away
Should we sello it with a kiss

It's too late
Now you're out and on the run
It's too late
Held up in amor without a gun

Silent night
We hold up our candle light
Silent night
The night our amor died
No words to say
Now we're both too tired to fight
Just hold me close and don't let go

It was all so simple when
You were to be queen and I'd be your king
I guess the dream got lost
‘Cause baby you're still tu and I'm still...

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat por the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have tu gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have tu gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and...

Now that you're gone, I can see
What was going on and how tu lied
When tu dicho you'd never amor again

Your friends telephone and they say
You weren't out alone last night
Can tu see that this broken corazón is killing me

Another night is falling
And now my corazón is calling tu back to me

Come back, 'cause I need your love
Back, got to have your love
Come back, bring your loving back to me

Come back, 'cause it's been so long
Back, and I can't go on
Come back, bring your loving back to me

You play with words, play with love
Always just your silly way
I'm a fool for I need tu por my side again

Now it's too late...

I was lost, then I found you
I never thought it would be this way
Showed tu my heart, I left it unguarded
Like a thief in the night tu estola it away

Now you're gone, the pain goes on and on
I still hear tu whispering to me through the shadows of the night

Love lies, you're just a victim of the headlines
You're running on into a cold night
You're just a number to the amor lies

All alone tu called it survival
He lost at amor to a stranger's lines
Walking the streets, he’s searching with vengeance
For a face that he dreams of night after night

Time goes on, all signs of life stolen, simple dreams were...

1. Our brains create dreams through misceláneo electrical activity. About every 90 minutes, the brain stem sends electrical impulses and the analytic portion of the brain tries to make sense of these signals.

2. Some dreams are meaningful as they give us insight into ourselves. Dreams help us connect to our unconscious mind and make sense of our wishes and fears. Dreams help us make sense of our past, present and future por getting us in tune with our emotions.

3. Even though we can dream at any time of our sleep, we are most likely to dream during REM sleep.

4. We can sometimes control our dream...

(Switch)
You’re out of this world I’m sure of it
A crazy intuition, you’re off and on
You’re here then gone, come back
A curious condition
And then tu switch right over
It’s weird yeah I know but
Just can’t get a hold of myself

Hey, so strange
You switched in front of me
Hey, you’ve changed
Not like tu used to be
‘Cause tu get in my head and hold my heart
When I’m here you’re there, we’re worlds apart
So reverse your words, get to the start
And switch back to my world

Hey, you’re just
Talking like a machine
Hey, I’m stuck
On every word in between
‘Cause tu get in my head and hold...

I don’t wanna feel like this
I don’t want to
I don’t want to
I don’t wanna freak tu out
But I
I think I might of dicho too much
Didn’t mean to
Didn’t mean to
Think I might of dicho it’s tu and I

Guess I should leave this behind
Guess I should erase and rewind
But somehow I can’t seem to stay away
I don’t want to sound desperate but I am
And so say that you’ll come around
Guess I should erase and rewind, erase and rewind

I don’t want to stand in line
Like I used to
Like I used to
I don’t want to have to scream and shout
‘Cause I’m the kind of girl that sticks
Like a tattoo
Like a tattoo...