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A quick run-down should tu ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.

1. Don’t have sex.
-Seriously
-Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
-I don’t care how good he says his weed is
-he is cuckoo bananas
-and he wants tu dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
-There are six words tu should YouTube, should tu get the chance
-“Kevin tocino, bacon in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
-If the killer can’t see...
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1) As soon as tu come in class people stare
2)When the teacher calls on tu (For a pregunta tu do not know)
3)Girls o boys look at tu and laugh but when tu turn back they have that blank expression
4)Being yelled at in front of a teacher
5)Being tardy
6)Being called nicknames..that tu dont enjoy
7)Being the first person to be kicked out of class
8)Looking crazy when tu yell at people in the middle of class
9)Running in the hall then falling on your face
10)Something gets stuck on your pants..or someone put it there
These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to tu as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If tu are the phone company, I already sent the money. If tu are my parents, please send money. If tu are my financial aid institution, tu didn't lend me enough money. If tu are my friends, tu owe me money. If tu are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4....
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posted by ShadowProve13
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until tu find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit tu first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of tu shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give tu a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.

Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the...
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posted by The_Random_Guy
The three little pigs (edited version)

Once appon a time, There were three pigs named Dakota, Kelsey and Jessica. They had a problem... A lobo named Gibby was trying to kill them!
"Kelsey, Do tu want to come with me to go find Jessica?" Dakota asks.
"Sure." respuestas Kelsey.
They walk outside and look in the forest only to see Jessica setting up traps for the wolf.
"Jessica, What the f*ck are tu doing?" Asks Kelsey.
"What does it look like I'm doing...I'm putting up traps to see if I can catch Gibby." She says as she looks at Kelsey with an annoyed expression.
"Calm yourself..Damn!" Says Dakota as...
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I got really bored last night and decided to look these up. So...yeah. Some small roles are included.


Italy and Kid

Narrator and Liz

Greece and Spirit

Chibitalia and Yumi

America and Justin

England and Harvar

France and Giriko

Russia and the clowns

HRE and Jack the Ripper
Austria and Dr.Stein

Hungary and Medusa

Liechtenstein and Patty

Belarus and Tsubaki

Lithuania and Ox

Sweden and Mifune

Sealand and Crona

Rome and Eibon

......Yep. I'm most likely missing some, though.
posted by mehere
parte superior, arriba 24 eminem song (random order)




who knew

rock bottom

words are weapons

lighters

criminal

kill you

never 2 far

like toy solidiers

white america

cleanin' out my closet

my name is

till i collapse

when im gone

sing for the moment

the real slim shady

just dont give a fuck

lose yourself

the way i am

mockingbird

infinite

stan

not afraid

without me

just lose it

i hope tu like this one better than the first one please leave a comentario if u like od dont like it i want to hear your thoughts :P
100: CHEEECCKPOOOINT
99: Purple Monkey Dishwasher
98: manzana, apple pie... o Pumkin?
97: Sit on your pockets! (Well known teacher saying)
96: mom mom mom mom mommy mommy mommmy mommmy mommy luis luis luis luis mama mama mama mama WHAT? hi.
95: Lawl
94: Baby turtles
93: 9000!!!!
92: Da da di da did did do do di da did di do!
91: MY POKEMON BRING ALL THE NERDS TO THE YARD AND THERE LIKE YA WANNA TRADE CARDS? DAM RIGHT! I WANNA TRADE CARDS I WILL TARDE YOU, BUT NOT MY CHARIZARD!
90: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeck POINT!
89: 88, 87, 86, 85...
84: Online daters are desprete.... they rely on the internt!
83: mama I pooped
82: c'mon!...
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1.You abuse our amor tu lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we amor him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our amor is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we amor be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape o form.
6.Guys tu should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with tu (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly amor we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When tu (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
posted by nymph_tonks
Stranger: hi


You: hi asl


Stranger: 20 m


Stranger: u?


You: 15 female


Stranger: nice to meet you!


You: GO GO POWER RANGERS!


Stranger: yeah!


Stranger: what are tu up to?


You: ther was this lady earlier who told me i shouldnt be on the internet at 15.


Stranger: lol


Stranger: and where should u be?


You: probably outside ithout any basura comida o soda


Stranger: fair enough


You: i would survive.


Stranger: do u like talking to strangers?


You: online, through text.


Stranger: where r u from?


Stranger: I am from UK btw


You: im from the us.


Stranger: nice


You: im bored


Stranger: oh...and I am italian


Stranger: we could do something...
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 HAHAHA
HAHAHA
HERE I AM AGIAN BUT THIS TIME WITH MY SIBLING...ya!!!so WE ARE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE TRAGIC STORY OF STALKERS...SO READ THIS lista AND IF tu DO ANYTHING ON THIS lista SEE A DOCTER FAST..SO CALL 555-STLAKER HELP(THIS IS NOT REAL DO NOT CALL AND IF tu DO I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR tu GETING INVOLVED WITH SOME DILEMA/PROBLEM)PLEASE DO NOT CALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!HERE ME DO NOT CALLL!!!

lIST BEGINS NOW:
1.DO tu HAVE THE EURGE TO FALLOW PEOPLE AROUND(FRIENDS,GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS o WORSE STRANGERS)
2.DO tu TEXT/CALL CERTIAN PEOPLE 23/7(AS tu CAN SEE NOT 24/7 BUT 23/7 THAT WAY THEY HAVE 1HR TO RREST)
3.DO...
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posted by cloudstrifefan
Everything tu can do with both a ruler and a compass,you can do with a compass alone.

The number symbol,#,is also known as an "octothorpe".

Cats sleep twice as much as people-up to 18 hours per day.

An ancient Greek vase from around 500 BC shows a boy playing with a yo-yo.

There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia (approx. 40 million)as there are people.

"Almost" is the longest common word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

In Alaska's Matanuska Vally,the long hours of sunlight have been used to grow giant vegetables...
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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can tu tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The palanca de mando is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her más attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do tu say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are tu boys all in the same band?
A3: Do tu guys all play for the Green bahía Packers?

Q: How do tu make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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haha I loved it...^.^ no offense to any blonde people around fanpop and around the world :D


Blonde Joke
the funniest blonde joke

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutos looking at the naranja jugo, jugo de box because it dicho "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. tu can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say tu should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching televisión por candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find televisión very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...
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added by Aqua_Rose
This is a fun song to help remember basic circulo, círculo formulae and terminolgy. I warn you, it's catchy!
video
circulo, círculo
maths
added by BlindBandit92
video
misceláneo
música
epic
damone
added by azkaban
MGMT
video
misceláneo
música
added by someone_save_me
A kinda stupid song XD I amor to listen to it because it lacks any real purpose.
video
misceláneo
música
weird
FrancoDean@YT
video
misceláneo
funny
hilarious
weird
música