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XD omg! pom=penguins of madagascar if u didnt know. Its The TV mostrar that ROCKS!
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10. When being pulled over por a cop and he o she says, "Sir(/)Ma'am, tu have been caught speeding, how much do tu think tu were going?" Don't say, "Well tu must've gone AT LEAST 90 to catch up with me."

9. When your teacher asks where your homework is when tu haven't handed it in don't say, "My dog ate my homework." That's the oldest excuse in the book. Plus, nobody ever buys it unless they are a complete moron o born yesterday.

8. When your older sister is having her period o PMS-ing don't say, "Hey sis, have tu been putting on a little weight?" It's a perra slap waiting to happen.

7....
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posted by greenstergirl
1. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work that way. So I estola a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag tu down and beat tu with experience.

3. Going to church doesn't make tu Christian even más then standing in a garaje makes tu a car.

4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Its still on the lista though.

5. war does not determine who is right- only who is left.

6. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, please notify....." I put DOCTOR.

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at inicial even if...
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posted by JoannaVonDoom
Im sorry if this has been publicado before
If not, do not give me credit


1. Sing the batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If tu have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours por hooking a videocámara to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat...
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Intro :

yea mmhm i know these have been publicado alot but i am both insane and depressed and i can help depending on your personality o sumthin like tht. But anyways, just read on. I hope tu like!!! This was written por me! Not taken off anyone else. Thanks for your time lectura my into ;) ~~ XxemolovexX (prefer not to say my real name)

How to cure boredom :


If you're an artist :
Draw! drawing will always help tu feel better. And who knows, over time tu might be able to draw amazingly.

If you're an autor :
Free write! Its always fun to. Write something according to your taste in books.

If tu love...
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posted by rayban00
This link is made of very simple,The lens is dark yellow, the color is predominant. And retro-style frame has a bright spot in the whole spectacle. General wear this retro style link, más o less a link with the United States. If tu look carefully, there is a small screw, so rayban sunglasses más firmly. rayo, ray Ban prices affordable, cheap.

It seems that Hollywood stars are always so charming?, They not only well dressed but never appear without makeup o sweat the makeup to stains.All dressed themseves perfect even without the light.

Cheap rayban Sunglasses are their common decration,because...
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posted by TVD_rocks
from the internet :)

(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have ke$ha babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds tu of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his barbie girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his inicial adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he respuestas he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
posted by TeamSongz4eva
**again i got this from the internet**


These are from by-gone days when we actually had little computer machines that would answer the telephone for us. They were called "answering machines," intuitively enough. Roughly akin to voice mail today, but when they came out, they were quite novel. Thus, the were the fuente of much amusement.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If tu are a burglar, then we're probably at inicial cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home
and it's seguro to leave us a message."...
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posted by EllentheStrange
I am anti emo,because I don't the idea of them

mutilating themselves for no reason.I mean

sure,you have bullies at school and your mom

hates you,but I have those same problems.But I

don't cut,or dink,or do drugs.Emo Kids are just

pissing their life away cutting and killing

themselves over their little problems.You live in

a small town,nobody feels sorry for you.get a

haircut.There's no point to get

yourself.Everybody has problems.Deal with

them,but don't cut.Write o draw.Listen to music.

Do something else besides cut.And the posers are

even worst so I dislike them even more.They think

it will...
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1.Make race car noises when anyone gets on o off.

2.Blow your nose and offer to mostrar the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of tu just shut UP!

4.Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.

5.Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7.Shave.

8.Crack open your maletín o purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?

9.Offer name etiquetas to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

10.Stand silent...
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Hello! Gabriella here. :D I will tell tu all these: What dates & Why tu don't want your birthday on these days.

1- New Year's día
You don't know what your celebrating. Your birthday o the new year.

2-Groundhog's Day
I think this is an American thing but, tu know how if tu see the shadow, this happens, if not, that happens? Yeah, why tu ask? Groundhog. People complaining about the outcome.
2-Valentine's Day
Your loved a bit too much.
2-Leap Year
This day, only comes, once every four years. Why would tu want to celebrate it today?

4-April Fool's Day
You get pranked on your own birthday. What...
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posted by snusnu13
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The light breeze was making the leaves of the trees rustle lightly and the birds were chirping their afternoon songs. In a small yard there lay a dog on the soft, green grass. This dog was brown and white patched, and had light green eyes. She had no ears, as they were cut off when she was a puppy, but her ear canal remained, so she could still hear.

As the dog chewed on her bone, a teenage girl stepped into the backyard. The dog looked up and saw her 14 año old owner, Sally. Sally had tanned skin, with dark brown hair tied into a ponytail, a triangular...
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1. tu fall down the stairs.

2. A árbol falls down on you.

3. A llama spits in your face.

4. tu eat i poisioned cookie.

5. A roccon with rabies jumps in your face and bites your face.

6. tu are making out with a person and then tu trow up in their mouth
.
7. A crystle light thing falls on your head.

8. Your almohada gets a face and bites tu head off.

9. Your dog stands up and says I hate tu and then runs away.

10. Your eating pankakes, their is a rotten egg in to, tu get slmonila, go to the hospital, the doctors say that tu are going to die, then tu die.

11. When tu are dieing your crush says that...
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1. read
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying misceláneo things until u cry laughing
5. continue lectura this
6. Walk up to siblings and say misceláneo things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on facebook and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on google look up arrendajo, jay leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add misceláneo people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
Are tu addicted? Are tu a super fan? Are tu just a person who likes being enthusiastic about things? Are tu on fanpop too much?

1. tu see something tu like, and think Oh, I want to fan that club!

2. tu start shipping people tu know o see.

3. tu hear something awesome and immediately look for the Best Answer button.

4. tu hear something awesome and immediately want to go on fanpop and change your motto.

5. tu hear something and tu want to comentario on it.

6. tu have great ideas of something tu should post on fanpop at completely misceláneo times of day.

7. tu get a new favorito! and HAVE to...
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posted by kitkat709477
"I can't find it," REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"That's women's work," REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless."
"Will tu marry me?" REALLY MEANS, "Both my room mates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no más maní, cacahuete butter."
"It's a guy thing," REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and tu have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"It would take too long to explain, "REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea...
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okay, on my 5 completely misceláneo things to do...

5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as tu can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as tu can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)

i recommend tu try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
posted by 3nala
3nala said:
"Yo whazzup mah homiehs?"

{screams something incoherent about peanut butter}

"I like waffles with peanut butter."

{is bored}



{screams something incoherent about dynamite and bananas}

"Oh well..."

{screams something completely incoherent}

"Ooh look at teh pretty birdses..."



{starts humming to the tune of 'U Can't Touch This'}

{Stares down a digital picture of GIR, then screams something incoherent about tacos}

"How did pig tracks get on the ceiling?"

{sings 'Spider-Pig'}

{Screams something incoherent about exploding squirrels}

"I told the man I was innocent, but the gun in my...
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Don't cheat! :) DO NOT CHEAT o IT WON'T WORK AND tu WILL WISH tu HADN'T. TAKE 3 MINUTES! TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK tu OUT. DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT. IT'S WORTH A TRY. 1st. Get a PEN and PAPER. 2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT tu ACTUALLY KNOW. 3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results. 4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON'T READ AHEAD otherwise tu WILL RUIN THE FUN. 1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. ~ 2. siguiente to the NUMBERS 1 and 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS tu WANT. ~ 3....
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The parte superior, arriba six reasons computers must be female:

6. As soon as tu have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command o File Name" is about as informative as

"If tu don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

As soon as tu make a commitment to one, tu find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
posted by kitkat709477
1.everyone around tu has an attitude problem
2.your adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything tu say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive tu crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and tu just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to puñetazo, ponche someone without a reason
12.if tu start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if tu were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give tu 10

a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so tu know*