Things Guys Should Know About Girls
1. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to tu as much as you
enjoy listening.
3. Don’t say tu understand when tu don’t.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
5. tu don’t have PMS; don’t act like tu know what it’s
like.
6. Saying something sweet might get tu off the hook;
doing something sweet will always get tu off the hook.
7. If tu talk about having a big dick; we know tu don’t.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that
want relationships.
9. We don’t like it when tu act like Mr. Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys not us.
11. No matter what tu say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
12. It’s good to be sensitive, sometimes.
13. If tu did something wrong o even if tu didn’t,
apologize.
14. Be spontaneous; cena and a movie won’t always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious por nature; we can’t help it.
16. We are DrAmA queens.
17. Fashion police do exist.
18. Don’t ask us to give head; if tu are nice tu just might get it.
19. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car
systems, paintball, o anything else tu and your friends talk about.
20. Hugs and kisses must be dado at all times.
21.eWe don’t shave our legs evryday so get over it.
22. Don’t make bets about us; we always find out.
23. Shave; no matter how cool tu think your goatte or
beard o mustache looks, we hate it.
24. Even if tu think it is cool to burp, fart, o emitt
other strange gases from your body, it is not.
25. Don’t compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson’s;
hers are fake, just remember that. ( u have a better shot
at ours than tu ever will with hers)
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
27. We are beautiful at all times.
28. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell
us we aren’t.
29. tu can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big
fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why
the hell can’t tu piss in the toilet and not on it.
30. Most importantly: we are always right; so don’t
forget it.
1. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to tu as much as you
enjoy listening.
3. Don’t say tu understand when tu don’t.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
5. tu don’t have PMS; don’t act like tu know what it’s
like.
6. Saying something sweet might get tu off the hook;
doing something sweet will always get tu off the hook.
7. If tu talk about having a big dick; we know tu don’t.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that
want relationships.
9. We don’t like it when tu act like Mr. Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys not us.
11. No matter what tu say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
12. It’s good to be sensitive, sometimes.
13. If tu did something wrong o even if tu didn’t,
apologize.
14. Be spontaneous; cena and a movie won’t always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious por nature; we can’t help it.
16. We are DrAmA queens.
17. Fashion police do exist.
18. Don’t ask us to give head; if tu are nice tu just might get it.
19. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car
systems, paintball, o anything else tu and your friends talk about.
20. Hugs and kisses must be dado at all times.
21.eWe don’t shave our legs evryday so get over it.
22. Don’t make bets about us; we always find out.
23. Shave; no matter how cool tu think your goatte or
beard o mustache looks, we hate it.
24. Even if tu think it is cool to burp, fart, o emitt
other strange gases from your body, it is not.
25. Don’t compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson’s;
hers are fake, just remember that. ( u have a better shot
at ours than tu ever will with hers)
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
27. We are beautiful at all times.
28. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell
us we aren’t.
29. tu can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big
fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why
the hell can’t tu piss in the toilet and not on it.
30. Most importantly: we are always right; so don’t
forget it.
The Engineer
An engineer dies and reports to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One día God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here o I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are tu going to get a lawyer?"
An engineer dies and reports to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One día God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here o I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are tu going to get a lawyer?"
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