Product Warnings:

"Do not use if tu cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.


"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.


"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.


"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.


"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.


"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.


"Do not use while sleeping o unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.


"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.


"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.


"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.


"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.


"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.


"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.


"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy casco used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not use near fire, flame, o sparks." -- On an

"Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.


"Battery may explore o leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.


"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartucho for a laser printer.


"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.


"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.


"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.


"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."


"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's pizza box.


"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.


"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."


"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.


"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.


"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.


"Not suitable for children aged 36 months o less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 año old.


"Do not recharge, put in backwards, o use." -- On a battery.


"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated asiento cushion.


"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.


"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animales only." -- On an electric cattle prod.


"For use por trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.


"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.


"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.


"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either por falling into the water o while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.


"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm por 15cm por 12cm.


"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.


"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.


"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.


"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.


"Twist parte superior, arriba off with hands. Throw parte superior, arriba away. Do not put parte superior, arriba in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.


"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a leche crate.


"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.


"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rata poison.


"Fragile. Do not drop." -- publicado on a Boeing 757.


"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.


"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.


"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.


"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.


"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.


"Do not drive car o operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.


"For indoor o outdoor use only." -- On a string of navidad lights.


"Wearing of this prenda, prendas de vestir does not enable tu to fly." -- On a child sized superman costume.


"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.


"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.


"Warning: do not use if tu have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.


"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermercado postres box.


"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermercado postres box.


"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.


"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.


"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.


"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.


"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a televisión advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is por using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.


"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.


"Do not dangle the ratón por its cable o throw the ratón at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.


"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.


"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.


"Do not eat if sello is missing." -- On dicho seal.


"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."


"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.


"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.


"Warning: Misuse may cause injury o death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.


"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.


"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.


"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.


"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.


"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a frutas Roll-Up snack.


"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.


"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.


"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.


"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.


"Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions. See a scanned image.
Assurances:


"Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.
Small Print From Commercials:


"Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.


"Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.


"Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.


"For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.
Signs and Notices:

"No stopping o standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere.


"Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm playa park circa 1950.
"These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church.


"All cups leaving this store, rather full o empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.


"Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine.


"Prescriptions cannot be filled por phone." -- On a form in a clinic.


"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos.


"Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided ducha, ducha de gorra, cap box.


"Payment is due por the due date." -- On a credit card statement.


"No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer.


"Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.
Safety Procedures:


"Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building.


"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.
Ingredients:

"Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients lista on a package of frutas buns.


"100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater.


"Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if tu believe this may be the case.
Materials:
Covering: 100% Unknown.
Stuffing: 100% Unknown."
-- On a pillow.


"Cleans and refreshes without soap o water. Contains: Water, fragrance & soap." -- On the packet for a moist towelette. See a scanned image.
Instructions:

"Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the
plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.


"Take one capsule por mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills.


"Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.


"Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a mollete, muffin at a 7-11.


"Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.


"Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.


"Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner.


"Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits.


"In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual.


"Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill.


"The appliance is switched on por setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position." -- Instructions for an café exprés, espresso kettle.


"For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid." -- On a Domino's emparedado, sándwich de box.