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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If tu have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal por conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what tu think."

7. Claim that tu must always wear a bicycle casco as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying más any moment.

11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that tu "like it that way."

12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.

13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.

16. Change channels five minutos before the end of every show.

17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.

18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints por the cash register.

19. Buy a large quantity of naranja traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.

21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in misceláneo spots on all of someone's road maps.

22. Inform everyone tu meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do tu hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."

24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

26. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.

28. Ask people what gender they are.

29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

32. Leave your navidad lights up and lit until September.

33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

36. Wear a lot of cologne.

37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

38. Sing along at the opera.

39. Mow your lawn with scissors.

40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"

41. Ask the waitress for an extra asiento for your "imaginary friend."

42. Go to a poesía recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

43. Ask your co-workers mysterious preguntas and then scribble their respuestas in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

46. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

51. Practice making fax and modem noises.

52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.

53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

54. Signal that a conversation is over por clamping your hands over your ears.

55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartucho across the room.

56. Holler misceláneo numbers while someone is counting.

57. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

58. Publicly investigate just how slowly tu can make a "croaking" noise.

59. Honk and wave to strangers.

60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

61. type only in lowercase.

62. dont use any punctuation either

63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

64. Try playing the William Tell Overture por tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

65. Sing the theme to the batman televisión mostrar as loudly as tu can, over and over and over..

66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.

67. Drum on every available surface.

68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

69. Set alarms for misceláneo times.

70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.."

71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.

73. Dress only in clothes coloured Hunter's Orange.

74. Wear your pants backwards.

75. Begin all your sentences with "ohh la la!"

76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music."

77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.

78. Pay for your cena with pennies.

79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

82. Demand that everyone address tu as "Conquistador."

83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

84. When navidad carolling, sing "Jingle bells, batman smells" until physically restrained.

85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

86. Finish the 99 bottles of cerveza song.

87. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.

88. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

89. Pretend your ratón is a CB radio, and talk into it.

90. Drive half a block.

91. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

92. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.

93. "Forget" the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

94. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that tu don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

95. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," o the Mr. Rogers theme song.

96. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

97. Ask to "interface" with someone.

98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky postigo, wicket isn't cricket."

99. Stare at static on the TV and claim tu can see a "magic picture."

100. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

101. Never make eye contact.

102. Never break eye contact.

103. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.

104. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

105. Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.

106. Say "okay, you're gay" to anything someone says.

107. As peole talk, smell their shoulders.

108. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention."

109. Say to people, "Did tu wear deodorant today?"

110. Place your shoes on the table.

111. When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right.

112. When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off."

113. Switch your neighbour's lawn furniture with someone else's.

114. Call into work and tell them tu have something better to do today.

115. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.

116. Sample every flavour of ice cream and tell the clerk what tu don't like about each one.

117. Pick your ear wax and ask if tu could use their sleeve to wipe it off.

118. Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like arbusto, bush is still President.

119. Speak in a strong Welsh accent.

120. Wear odd shoes.

121. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" por corazón and recite it endlessly.

122. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.

123. Throw stones at people walking past your house.

124. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds.

125. Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles.

126. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke.

127. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.

128. Spend an entire weekend pretending tu are R2D2.

129. Phone misceláneo numbers and tell them tu are holding their daughter hostage.

130. Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too.

131. Pretend tu have gone comopletely deaf.

132. etirW sdrawkcab.

133. Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food.

134. Speak so quietly that people always have to get tu to repeat it.

135. Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants.

136. Play the electric guitarra very loudly and badly, then when the neighbours ask tu to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought tu asked me to turn it up!

137. Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence tu say.

138. Drive on the wrong side of the road.

139. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural."

140. Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme.

141. Claim that until recently, tu thought Michael Jackson was a woman.

142. Wear your gorra, cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.

143. Go to a metallica concierto wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt.

144. Tell everyone tu are Bill Clinton's cousin.

145. Take fotos of people walking down the calle and then run away.

146. Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90%.

147. Down a can of coca cola in one and then burp loudly.

148. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R.

149. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."

150. Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started.

151. Ride a unicycle to work.

152. E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows '95 that aren't actually there.

153. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.

154. Continuously mumble during a conversation.

155. Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house.

156. When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly.

157. Insist on "Weird Al" sing-a-longs.

158. On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns.

159. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.

160. Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling.

161. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching tu eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant.

162. When walking, talk to yourself constantly.

163. mover people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking.

164. Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."

165. Go to a gumball machine insert coins until tu have a matching pair of fake eyeballs. After attaning these, record the theme song of The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the calle wearing the eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When tu get pulled over, leap into the passenger's asiento and claim, "He was here a minuto ago, officer!"

166. On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Place each one a mile apart on an unlit highway.

167. After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that tu haven't recieved enough chocolate sprinkles.

168. Push a pasa, pasas de uva into someone's cream-filled donut.

169. Spread fertilizer on half your neighbour's lawn.

170. Add A535 (liquid heat) to that little hole down the centre of someone's anti-perspirant.

171. Throw an Oh Henry! in a public pool.

172. When at a party with an infant present, ask the parent for a diaper. Prepare the diaper with Nutella, maní, cacahuete butter, etc. Insert the diaper into the garbage can. Later, reach into the garbage, pull out the diaper, announce, "Hey, look what I found," and chow down!

173. At school, stick "presents" in people's backpacks o purses, such as mud, rocks, sticks, and leaves.

174. Call every pager number tu know and leave the number for your local McDonald's.

175. Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn.

176. Throw newspapers back at paperboys.

177. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants.

178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.

179. At misceláneo times in a conversation, say "hi," "hello Sir, how are you?" o "have a good day, thank you."
added by 01bieber
added by tamar20
added by RACHELxTRENT
added by Wolfdreamer9
Source: Deviant Art
added by PoddoChan
Source: The Internet
posted by Forgot_To_Laugh
The sky turned as dark as the eerie path in an endless cave as I walked briskly up the pathway of my new house. I finally reached the door and the strong, cold wind howled in my ears and tore away the last of autumn's golden leaves. I took a deep breath, opened the door and cautiously stepped inside. I was greeted por a grand entrance hall and the greatest flight of stairs I've ever seen! I decided to take a tour around this magnificent mansion. "Am I dead o am I alive?" I'd whisper, absolutely stunned. I opened the door of my new bedroom. I felt a buzz of excitement erupt in me. There was a portrait that hung over the king size bed. It was of a girl with long, wavy ginger hair. she wore a navy ball vestido and her eyes shone like sapphires. I unpacked my bags, got into my PJs and read a chapter of my book.
Note: This was done as a dare from one of my friends. >.> I don't like writing, and I'm really not into romance, so this is going to be a real challenge for me. This will turn out horrible, I can tell. o3o

She shivers, and wraps her scarf around herself a bit tighter. A few snowflakes delicately falls from the grey sky, a few of them landed on her long, thick lashes.

She glances wistfully out into the horizon. He will be here soon, o so she hopes. She comes here every week, no matter the weather, hoping to see him again. It had been three full years already, since he left. She'd promised...
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Carcisia Gruesetal skipped down the drveway, a slightly damp, redish envolope in her hand. She went into her house and layed the envolope on the table. she looked at the adress on the back of the envolope. It read in spidery handwriting; from anonymous.

A shiver ran down Carcisia's spine but she opened the envolope anyways. She pulled out a damp red letter. She unfolded it. Written in blood it said; IT IS YOUR TURN! DON'T TRY TO GET AWAY! YOUR FATE IS DECIDED!

Carcisia screamed and ran out of her house, but a tall man with long brown hair stood in her way. He hand cuffed her and shoved her...
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 Could This be The Proof of Life We've Been Looking For?
Could This be The Proof of Life We've Been Looking For?
recently NASA received pictures from their rover in Mars. none of the fotos looked odd except one. they looked más into the matter. at first they claimed it to be a simple chemical compound mix making a shape but now they're not so sure. some still claim it to be nothing but others are saying that life has finally been found. in that picture there is 2 rocks and in the middle of them there appears to be a rat. so what do tu think? life finally proved o a chemical compound making an unusual shape?
 curiosity rover
curiosity rover
posted by StarWarrior
PROLOGE
“You can’t!” I screeched, griping the thick césped, hierba beneath my paws.
    “The whole forest will belong to the Pack of Shadows!” the dark lobo exclaimed enthusiastically, his pelaje, piel flickering like shadows, “No lobo will stop us!”
    I have to do something! I couldn’t let it end like this! Not with the alpha in this state! Not with the pack división, split in four!
    “Out of my way pup!” he tossed me aside like a tiny mouse.
    “No!” I leaped at him, biting and clawing with all my strength.
    “This is pointless! tu cannot defeat me she-wolf!” I felt him bite me and fling me away again. I was too tired to mover now, after traveling this far without resting, I can no longer breathe enough to live.
    I’m over; this is the end of the Pack of Ice! I lay winded and defeated, awaiting death’s arrival patiently.
posted by klaine_forever
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posted by misscrazel
PROLOGUE
I watched a deer bound through the trees. I was about to turn and leave when I saw somone, o something crouching in the bushes. I walked a bit closer. He looked like a teenager but he wasn't much bigger then me. He had long blond hair and bright big blue eyes. Then I saw something odd. His ears were pointed. And they weren't just slightly pointed. Like an elf's. I stepped closer and he darted away through the trees. 
I chased after him barley keeping up. Once I lost him but then I saw a flash of his blond hair. Just when I was tiring he abruptly stopped. I would've bumped into him...
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posted by TheFan2000
5:45 AM- Wake up, whine to parents about a terrible headache
6:00 AM- Discover that temperature is 99 degrees, go back to sleep
6:45 AM- Wake up again suffering a severe bout of chills and feeling extremely groggy
7:00 AM- Eat breakfast, make final decision to stay inicial from school
7:30 AM- Suffer another episode of chills and go up to bedroom
7:35 AM- Take a morning nap before chills get worse
7:45 AM- Become extremely cold, get another headache, crank up the heated blanket to the highest it'll go
8:00 AM- Violently yank off heated blanket and turn down heat after waking up sweating
9:00 AM- Wake...
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1. Leaving holes in the backstory.

As learned from Marty Chan, the human imagination is not only the most beautiful place in the world, it can also be the most horrific. If a person leaves some el espacio empty (ex: "Tara disappeared after the encounter and was never heard from again....") , your mind will immediately fill it in, your imagination coming up with the most grisly scenario possible....

2. Waiting a REALLY long time for the killer/ monster to mostrar up.

The person becomes bored and even slightly drowsy, which makes them más vulnerable to fear. If the antagonist pops up about halfway through (especially out of nowhere, and at night) they'll jump up as though just awaken from a nightmare. A little humor will definitely help if you're planning on doing this.
posted by misscrazel
                   3
               SPENCER
"Belinda!" I yelled my face was hot from running and I could hardly breath. Her name echoed through the hall. "Belinda!"
Crap. My teacher. There wasn't anything else I could do. So I kept running. I slammed into her as hard as I could. She stumbled off balance. Perfect. I slipped past. I grabbed Belinda's arm. She took a step back. I lost my grip and fell. Belinda fell backwards onto me. I wrapped my arms around her. I flipped her towards me. She banged her head against mine. I kissed her. She squirmed away and ran into the girls...
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posted by TheRealSexyKate
In ancient Rome, it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crooked nose.

The word "nerd" was first coined por Dr. Seuss in "If I Ran the Zoo."

A 41-gun salute is the traditional salute to a royal birth in Great Britain.

The bagpipe was originally made from the whole skin of a dead sheep.

The roar that we hear when we place a seashell siguiente to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear. Any cup-shaped object placed over the ear produces the same effect.

Revolvers cannot be silenced because of all the noisy gasses which escape the cylinder...
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posted by teamsalvatore98
But haven't we all? I've dicho some things, but who hasn't? I've thought about things, but doesn't everybody? this articulo is not about trying to get tu to ask Christ for forgiveness. it's about telling everybody that they are not alone. my whole life I thought that I'm the only 1 who goes through stuff that I go through. but it's not true. my dad has seizure problems, my mom barely has time to do anything with us, and my family has financial issues, but that is okay. I've been bullied, and there's been times when I committed self harm. The thing is, tu may think that tu are alone, but there's...
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Hi, my name is james. im am 13 yrs old. i was beat from school. i had gotten 8 hrs detention for actuación like rigby during math class. some teachers huh? anyway, it was 10:00 PM when i got home. i went up the stairs to my bedroom, shut the door, got into my pj's and got in bed. as i laid in my bed, i closed my eyes and thought, dang, the regular mostrar universe seems pretty awsome. no school, no detention, it's perfect. then i fell into a deep sleep. this is where the story begins. i woke up on a hard surface, i got up and was in a white room. where the heck am i, i thought. as i turned around...
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So, I was escritura this book, and I didn't know if it would ba any good o not, and I want your opinion on it before I continue escritura it, maybe publicar it, and then make an culo out of myself if it sucks..... So please be a critic on thi exerpt on the first chapter, and any suggestions, any opinions, will be aknowledged. :) Thank you!






Chapter 1

Henna


Well, let’s just say that my life is not normal. In fact, it’s probably at the most least normal level as it could possibly get. I had never even heard of this myth until it had happened to me. Neither have you, because there are no records of...
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1. Have a nap. If tu want to solve a problem, o come up with new ideas, then instead of always thinking - relax and have a nap. We’re usually más creative when we’re feeling wide awake.

2. Get into the habit of making small talk. A casual remark can change the way tu look at things - so talk and listen to everyone tu meet.
3. Sign up for classes and seminars. Listening to the ideas and opinions of others increases the connections tu make in your brain. Also, it is usually inspiring and highly motivating.

4. Make sure tu spend time with creative people. Often these are people who think...
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