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When life gives tu lemons, make naranja jugo, jugo de and leave the world wondering how the heck tu did it.

That's just the way the cookie crumbles... All over my clean new shirt.

If at first tu don't succeed, destroy everything.

An manzana, apple a día can keep any doctor away if tu throw it hard enough.

Don't worry if Plan A fails, there's 25 más letters in the alphabet.

Do tu believe in amor at first sight, o should I walk por again?

Weird? Nah, I prefer the term, "Avant-Garde"

Who says nothing's impossible? I've been doing it for years.

My mother texted me: “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered: “I don’t know, amor you, talk to tu later.” Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister.”

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download comida from the internet.

Dear life, when I asked if my día could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the muro gets in the way.

That annoying moment when tu finally get comfortable in bed, but then BAM, tu need to use the restroom.

tu don't notice the air, at least until someone spoils it.

Aim for the moon! Even if tu miss, you'll land among the stars! But either way, you'll run out of oxygen eventually.

Hmm.... I could kill this person and nobody would notice.... Wait a minute. WHAT THE HELL BRAIN!?

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

When a bird hits your window have tu ever wondered if God's playing Angry Birds with you?

"Just five más minutes!" Always means the person will never get ready. :D

Whenever you're feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”.

Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

That moment when tu see a YouTube channel with the usual blue anonymous person on it, but with a spider, and tu think it's real.

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

Have tu ever had a fly o small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

Be nice to nerds, chances are you’ll end up working for one.

I didn't fall, the floor just needed a hug.

Me talking to anyone else: "Hey, what's up? :D" Me talking to a girl I like: "uH HelO hOWZ yU dNGoi toDAY? @__@"

It doesn't matter whether tu win o lose, what matters is if I win o lose.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, fires, screaming, my work here is done. :D

Don't steal, lie, cheat, o sell drugs. The government hates competition!

Keep talking, maybe someday I'll finally listen.

I was wondering why the Black Knight's shovel was getting bigger, then it hit me!

Pac-Man: "I see dead people..."

(Hope tu enjoyed! If we can get 5 fans, I'll add more! ^___^)
I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her inicial because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away...
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