Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
October 2002
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses consejos to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she dicho that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned por a east coast resident, which was publicado on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank tu for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some consejos from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a toro on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this día and age, what do tu think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can tu clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can tu settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear lectura glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, o is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden por Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 por planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife por wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know tu have studied these things extensively, so I am confident tu can help. Thank tu again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
October 2002
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses consejos to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she dicho that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned por a east coast resident, which was publicado on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank tu for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some consejos from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a toro on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this día and age, what do tu think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can tu clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can tu settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear lectura glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, o is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden por Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 por planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife por wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know tu have studied these things extensively, so I am confident tu can help. Thank tu again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
I know some preguntas about canada that non-canadians ask about Canada, i'm going to tell tu the respuestas
first, tu can NOT see polar bears in the calle and we don't ride the them either we use CARS.
second, we live in houses, not igloos we would probably freeze after awhile
Thats all i know but know tu won't think canadians live in igloos and if Miley cyrus is lectura this and did say canada sucks,WELL IT DOESEN'T SUCK!!!!
IT ROCKS!!! i'm proud to live in Canada.
:)
first, tu can NOT see polar bears in the calle and we don't ride the them either we use CARS.
second, we live in houses, not igloos we would probably freeze after awhile
Thats all i know but know tu won't think canadians live in igloos and if Miley cyrus is lectura this and did say canada sucks,WELL IT DOESEN'T SUCK!!!!
IT ROCKS!!! i'm proud to live in Canada.
:)
I missed my chance.. I'm always one año behind in this show.. But now that their mostrando every episode in order, to prepare for the new season 7, so I'm getting my chance.
I'm so excited, especially cause it has Steven Ogg in it now. (AKA, this guy).
It's pretty easy to say that Grand Theft Auto did a lot for this guy, cause now just about everyone knows who he is.
It's weird how he always protrays nutcase's like Trevor, when the real Steve Ogg is such a nice guy from what I can tell.
But still, the guy that portrayed Trevor Phillips.
How can that NOT be awesome for the dark, violent, nature of a mostrar like Walking Dead?
Where, even someone as kind hearted as Rick Grimes has murdered people in cold blood, in newer seasons he doesn't even feel remorse anymore.
But, yeah.. Steve Ogg.. I'm excited :)
I'm so excited, especially cause it has Steven Ogg in it now. (AKA, this guy).
It's pretty easy to say that Grand Theft Auto did a lot for this guy, cause now just about everyone knows who he is.
It's weird how he always protrays nutcase's like Trevor, when the real Steve Ogg is such a nice guy from what I can tell.
But still, the guy that portrayed Trevor Phillips.
How can that NOT be awesome for the dark, violent, nature of a mostrar like Walking Dead?
Where, even someone as kind hearted as Rick Grimes has murdered people in cold blood, in newer seasons he doesn't even feel remorse anymore.
But, yeah.. Steve Ogg.. I'm excited :)