I got this from the joke app I have. Well, enjoy!
25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. tu will never find anybody who can give tu a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell tu that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling tu that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed por the federal government is entertainment.
5. tu should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests tu think she's pregnant unless tu can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
6. A penny saved is worthless.
7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be amargo, amargos enemies.
8. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, o ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
10. There comes a time when tu should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
11. There is a very fine line between "hobby " and "mental illness. "
12. People who want to share their religious vistas with tu almost never want tu to share yours with them.
13. There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a computer that generates concepts for televisión sitcoms. When TV executives need a new concept, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions of possible plot premises, it spits out, "THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT," and the executives turn this concept into a show. The siguiente time they need an idea, the computer spits out, "SIX QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT. " Then the siguiente time, it spits out, "FOUR QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT. " And so on. We need to locate this computer and destroy it with hammers.
14. Nobody is normal.
15. At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that: * The universe is even bigger than they thought! * There are even más subatomic particles than they thought! * Whatever they announced last año about global warming is wrong.
16. If tu had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings. "
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. The value of advertising is that it tells tu the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example: * If the advertisement says "This is not your father's Oldsmobile," the advertiser is desperately concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other Oldsmobiles, appeals primarily to old farts like your father. * If coca cola and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to convince tu that there are significant differences between these two products, both companies realize that Pepsi and coca cola are virtually identical. * If the advertisement strongly suggests that Nike shoes enable athletes to perform amazing feats, Nike wants tu to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability. * If Budweiser runs an elaborate advertising campaign stressing the critical importance of a beer's "born-on " date, Budweiser knows this factor has virtually nothing to do with how good a cerveza tastes.
19. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
20. tu should not confuse your career with your life.
21. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
22. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
23. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
24. Your friends amor tu anyway.
25. Nobody cares if tu can't dance well. Just get up and dance."
25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. tu will never find anybody who can give tu a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell tu that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling tu that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed por the federal government is entertainment.
5. tu should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests tu think she's pregnant unless tu can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
6. A penny saved is worthless.
7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be amargo, amargos enemies.
8. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, o ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
10. There comes a time when tu should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
11. There is a very fine line between "hobby " and "mental illness. "
12. People who want to share their religious vistas with tu almost never want tu to share yours with them.
13. There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a computer that generates concepts for televisión sitcoms. When TV executives need a new concept, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions of possible plot premises, it spits out, "THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT," and the executives turn this concept into a show. The siguiente time they need an idea, the computer spits out, "SIX QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT. " Then the siguiente time, it spits out, "FOUR QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT. " And so on. We need to locate this computer and destroy it with hammers.
14. Nobody is normal.
15. At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that: * The universe is even bigger than they thought! * There are even más subatomic particles than they thought! * Whatever they announced last año about global warming is wrong.
16. If tu had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings. "
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. The value of advertising is that it tells tu the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example: * If the advertisement says "This is not your father's Oldsmobile," the advertiser is desperately concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other Oldsmobiles, appeals primarily to old farts like your father. * If coca cola and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to convince tu that there are significant differences between these two products, both companies realize that Pepsi and coca cola are virtually identical. * If the advertisement strongly suggests that Nike shoes enable athletes to perform amazing feats, Nike wants tu to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability. * If Budweiser runs an elaborate advertising campaign stressing the critical importance of a beer's "born-on " date, Budweiser knows this factor has virtually nothing to do with how good a cerveza tastes.
19. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
20. tu should not confuse your career with your life.
21. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
22. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
23. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
24. Your friends amor tu anyway.
25. Nobody cares if tu can't dance well. Just get up and dance."
1. They feel happy and like nothing can take them down.
2. They start feeling depressed for no reason.
3. They feel like crying for a while.
4. They cry heavily and not knowing why their crying makes it worse.
5. They feel mad and feels like everyone should feel her wrath.
6. They feel so alone and unloved por everyone, some are driven to cut themselves.
7. They feel like only God understands them.
8. Their time of the mes is over and they normal again.
This is what i went through, so i assume other girls do to.
2. They start feeling depressed for no reason.
3. They feel like crying for a while.
4. They cry heavily and not knowing why their crying makes it worse.
5. They feel mad and feels like everyone should feel her wrath.
6. They feel so alone and unloved por everyone, some are driven to cut themselves.
7. They feel like only God understands them.
8. Their time of the mes is over and they normal again.
This is what i went through, so i assume other girls do to.
Just lectura some of the terminator frases through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash día tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. tu might get annoyed por it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash día tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. tu might get annoyed por it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
