1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain tu understand it.

3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help tu concentrate.

4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, tu can both walk to the nearby cafe and buy a hamburger to help tu concentrate. If your friend shows tu his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, drop him.

5. When tu get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain tu understand it.

7. tu know, tu haven't written to that kid tu met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so tu can concentrate.

8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

9. Listen to one side of your favourite tape and that's it-- I mean it! As soon as it's over tu are going to start that paper.

10. Listen to the other side.

11. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order.

12. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started escritura yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, and the world at large.

13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savour its special flavour.

15. Check the newspaper listings to make sure tu aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When tu have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from 'Rahul Dulhaniyan Le Jayenge' to every Zee o Sony soap is truly worthwhile.

16. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot.

17. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.

18. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

19. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

20. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.

21. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

22. Read over the assignment one más time, just for the heck of it.

23. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

24. Lie face down on the floor and scream at the parte superior, arriba of your lungs.

25. Leap up and write the paper.

26. Type the paper.

27. Complain to everyone that tu didn't get any sleep because tu had to write the paper.