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prince michael jackson Pregunta

My life with Prince (part 3)

The siguiente día I woke up very happy at what had happened, I was composing a song on the piano, and also coached the voice, I think the música at the Prince. The música was for him. I spent all día composing music. I was wearing a red dress. And I play guitar, when the campana rings, I was excited and nervous, I ran to open the door and ...
"Hello" dicho Prince
"Hi" I dicho very happy.
It gives me a red rose, and I dicho "Thanks." And he dicho "Come with me, I have something to mostrar tu 'and I said" Ok. " I closed the door, he took me to a beautiful garden and romantic, full of red roses. Was there a guitar, he picks up the guitarra and started playing and canto for me. I was so happy. When he was finished, we both were smiling at each other, and he asked "what do tu think you? and I smiled even más and dicho "I loved that song" and then give tu a hand and took him to my garden where there was one of my piano, I put the red rose he gave me over the piano. I started playing a beautiful melody. At the end of a tune we were looking at each other smiling, shy, stayed that way for several minutes, until ...

Continued =)
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Sorry, there are some errors in this story.
batava posted hace más de un año
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I know I should describe my feelings more.
batava posted hace más de un año
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lame:/
magic001 posted hace más de un año
 batava posted hace más de un año
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prince michael jackson Respuestas

la-la-la-45 said:
This one was a lot better.A couple of más things though.(They weren't really in this one but I feel the need to tell tu this.)
-Try not to start sentences with and o but.If you're going to use them for the beginning of a sentence,try to find a way to combine that sentence with the one before it and put a comma before and o but.
-A while ago,my english teacher at school dicho not to use it a lot,try to be más specific.(I didn't notice that at all in this chapter but it might help in later chapters.)
This chapter was really good.There were más details which helped.Keep up the good work!
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posted hace más de un año 
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Thanks
batava posted hace más de un año
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Thank tu very mutch
batava posted hace más de un año
paloma97ppb said:
I like this one! but lol try not to use much "...."
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posted hace más de un año 
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agreed
dsgt5 posted hace más de un año
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try to make the plot thicker.
pippi713713 posted hace más de un año
PrinceMJluv said:
This is such a disney princess story.... lame
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posted hace más de un año 
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No...
batava posted hace más de un año
dsgt5 said:
this is cool but a little 2 romantic.... If a guy were to take me to a garden full of red roses, i would be blinded por the redness. And if a guy were to sing to me while in the blindness,i would say "no..no dude, just stop.." lol i would feel very uncomfortable having a guy just looking at me while singing, i would be looking the other way.. even if he was good looking (just something i would do)
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posted hace más de un año 
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lol
PrinceMJluv posted hace más de un año
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... =D
batava posted hace más de un año
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