My life with Prince (part 2)

I think you've got a pretty good storyline going.But there are a few things tu should consider changing.

*First,you have some really short paragraphs.Try adding some más details and vivid descriptions.it always makes the readers enjoy it a bit más if they can picture whats happening por the details the autor gives.
*Second,try not to put things in parantheses.
-Instead of saying (I return to my room),try, After my parents leave I go back upstairs to my room.
*Third,When your characters are having a conversation,it's important to put quotation marks around what they say and who dicho it.
-Instead of putting -OMG...!- I told my sister try, "Oh my gosh!" I say to my sister,unable to keep my excitement a secret.
-Also,when you're escritura a story,don't use text like omg o brb o wtf.Spell out the words.Yeah,it does take a little longer to type out but unless tu are mostrando a conversation people are having on the computer o text messages,it's best to type the words.It'll give the story más of a story like feel.

I hope this helped.I'm a writer so I figured I'd give tu some advice.Don't listen to people who put bad stuff saying "Your story sucks!" o "This blows!Stop writing!" because that will only lower your self esteem in writing.You realy do have a good story and with a little revising tu can make it better.

I'd Tell tu what man, don't leave to much spaces and make the stories bigger cause siguiente año probably we will be in chapter 5 so tu know. I think if tu can do what recommended would help, good luck!