After losing my best friend, Barry, I slipped into a depression. My grandparents refused to see me. My less consistent friends turned their backs on me. The only ones there for me were my aunt and uncle, my brother, Daniel, and my cousin, Barbara Ann. I had very little, if any, self-confidence. I didn't even try to confront Grandpa again, fearing he would beat me again. The only thing that brought me any happiness was music. I still enjoyed the Beatles above all others, but I liked to explore different bands as well. I overheard someone talking about a metal band called System of a Down, so I decided to check them out. I never listened to metal before. I picked up a CD titled, "Steal This Album!" I listened to it, and I fell in amor with it. I felt a connection with some of the lyrics in the song, "Ego Brain".

"You see my pain is real
Watch my world dissolve
And pretend that none of us see the fall."

What I took from that lyric is this. The songwriter is experiencing a lot of emotional pain, and he's pretending that he's all right. It made me feel better knowing that somebody out there knew how I was feeling. I still wished I had some friends, but I was getting nothing but bullied. In life science, I learned that I was ugly, a loser, and a freak. In English, I learned that I don't belong. In mathematics, I learned that I was lame. Should I go on? No, I think I covered it well. One thing I didn't learn was why no one helped me. I went inicial crying one day. Daniel said, "Hey, little sis. Are tu okay?" I said, "No." He asked, "What's wrong?" I said, "It's nothing. Forget I dicho anything." He said, "No, it's okay. tu can tell me." I said, "I'm a freak." He said, "Erin, tu are not a freak." I then said, "And I'm a loser." He said, "No, Erin!" I said, "And I don't belong." He said, "Oh, my God! Where on Earth did tu get ideas like that?" I said, "That's all I ever get told in school. No one ever helps me. Nobody cares." He said, "Erin, I had no idea all this was going on." I said, "Nobody loves me." He said, "That's bullshit, and tu know it!" He told my aunt and uncle. My aunt said, "Erin, we all amor tu very much." My uncle said, "That's right. Don't ever think tu are not loved. If someone's picking on you, please tell us. We'll try to fix it." My aunt paid a visit to the school. The bullying slowed down, but I still wished I had friends. Everybody needs a least one friend.