Tom grabbed a sip of water, and then discussed his last topic.

Tom: Yeah, we all amor different animales smaller than us while also having four legs.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: But some ponies also amor humans. Many amor breeding them, riding them, and racing them. Of course, 90% of the entire population around the world loves racing. It doesn't have to be with humans. It mostly involves cars. Many of tu may not know this, but tu get into races on several different occasions. It mostly involves time. You're in a race to get to work on time, you're in a race to get something from the grocery store, you're in a race to get a good asiento in the movie theater, sometimes, you're also in a race to get a good asiento at a sporting event.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: And más races occur out there. Baseball, tu race against the ball as it gets thrown from one poni, pony to another as tu travel between bases.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Football, tu race against other ponies, and try to knock them down so they don't get the ball into your goal zone. Although some would call that chasing, not racing. Depending on the intent of the defensive pony, tu could also call it murder.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But racing itself is also a sport. You've got Nascar, Indycar, rallycross, the Automobile Racing Club of Equestria, Formula 1, o drag racing. Sounds like tu have to tow a heavy load.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But drag racing is literally two cars in a straight line, mostly for a quarter mile, but the distance can also be longer if tu so desire. Now, imagine a two mile dragstrip, that would make things really exciting. A quarter mile is just too short. A quarter mile is boring! tu have to be braindead to get pleasure out of driving in a straight line for ten seconds.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: When it comes to autoracing, Nascar, and Formula 1 seem to be the most popular. What is the difference between Formula 1, and Formula 2? Nopony seems to know that.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I tried asking a few strangers on the street. Excuse me, do tu know the difference between formula 1, and 2?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: The cars look exactly the same. The tracks look exactly the same. I bet tu even the Formula 1 president himself couldn't explain the difference.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Uh, why did we make a Formula 2 again?
Crowd: *Laughing*

Tom continued, this time with the Nascar.

Tom: There's also been a lot of complaints about how Nascar only has drivers going around on circular tracks. Recently they've been trying to improve that, but now there's been complaints about too many tracks that aren't round enough!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They can't make up their fucking mind!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: siguiente they'll probably complain about how there aren't enough tracks shaped like triangles. They only have one in Pennsylneighnia.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It'll just be a matter of time. Someone will complain about how there aren't enough triangular tracks like the one in Pocono. o how about rectangles?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: There's also only one rectangular track in Indianapolis.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Nascar fans might start complaining about that too!
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: Five years ago, they also purchased this group called the Automobile Racing Club of Equestria, o A.R.C.E for short. When tu say those four letters together like an actual word, tu get arce. tu know what that sounds like?
Crowd: *Laughing, and whistling*
Tom: Well it could be just a hunch, but it would explain why the fans are actuación like arses.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I better get going before I give those fans más bad ideas, but thanks for joining me.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Thank tu for coming here, and seeing me in my hometown. My old stomping ground! *Stomps three times on the stage*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Hopefully I'll see tu wonderful mares, and stallions again during my siguiente performance in St. Foalis. Take care, and happy new year!!
Crowd: *Clapping, cheering, and whistling*

While the crowd was cheering, Tom ran off the stage. The stage lights turned off, and the crowd slowly started to leave after the cheering died down.

The End

SeanTheHedgehog Productions. Copyright, January 2023.