1. Offer him maní, cacahuete mantequilla dulce de azúcar, fudge that tu cooked yourself, and tell him that tu named it Cornelius dulce de azúcar, fudge because it’s "nutty." Make sure it’s sticky and overdone.

2. Tell him that lima, cal green isn’t really his color, and that he’s really más of a winter.

3. Offer to take him to the mall to buy him some new clothes in different, más flattering colors.

4. Try to get him to registrarse a conga line with tu and Voldemort and look very hurt if he refuses.

5. Tell him that "Scrimgeour always seemed like so much más of an authoritative figure."

6. Make up a theme song for him to the tune of "The Brady Bunch" and sing it wherever he goes.

7. Make up flyers containing the printed version of the theme song and hand it out to important Ministry officials.

8. Try to get him to registrarse S.P.E.W., because "elves are people too!"

9. Paint a scar on your forehead and hop around singing, "We were telling the truth! We were telling the truth!" in an annoying, high pitched voice.

10. Give his jugador de bolos hat to the giant squid. If he gets mad at you, tell him that tu were just trying to mostrar your care for all species. Make sure to stare at him with big, perrito, cachorro eyes.