Death Eater Funnies

*To the tune of "Dangerous and Moving, por t.A.T.u.. If tu don't know that song, here's a link: link*

Anyways, Dangerous and Moving, Death Eater style!

We'll take over the world today,
And never give it back,
And this is what the Order members say,
Our lives are evil and black
And this is how we move
And this is how we sway
Danger is the truth
We fell and rose again!

We broke out of Azkaban,
We're perilous and looming
We're dangerous and moving,
We're dangerous and moving!

We’ll burn everything down,
We’re perilous and looming
We’re dangerous and moving,
We’re dangerous and moving

We’ll have no mercy...

I suspect I'm not the only one, am I? XD...... Anyways, tu know you're obsessed with Bellatrix when....
Credit: Me Myself and I

1. tu throw away all of your hairbrushes.

2. tu wear at least some black every day.

3. tu rip your clothes on purpose.

4. tu call people tu don't like "filthy mudbloods".

5. tu yell "CRUCIO!" at people when tu get mad.

6. tu carry knives on your person

7. Your desktop background and screensaver are of Bellatrix.

8. Whenever you're typing a word that starts with a "B" o an "L", tu accidentally type out a Bellatrix o a Lestrange instead.

9. tu think her birthday should...

Credit: mugglenet.com

Greetings, new follower:

If tu are lectura this letter then tu have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If por some unprecedented chance tu are lectura this and tu have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest tu put down this letter and leave now, o the consequences for tu will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.

Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which tu must memorize and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate...

Credit: mugglenet.com

1. Make him take a shower.

2. Make him use shampoo in aforementioned shower.

3. Make him use clarifying shampoo.

4. Apparate siguiente to him, hand him a tube of super-strong facial cleanser, then quickly Disapparate before he realizes what happened.

5. Enchant this cleanser to follow him around until he uses it.

6. ...enchant the cleanser to follow him around anyway.

7. Tell him tu estola his teddy bear.

8. Tell him tu won't give it back until he agrees to wash his hair.

9. When he washes his hair, tell him tu were just kidding and dicho teddy oso, oso de has already been destroyed.

10. Sneak...

I suspect I'm not the only one, am I? XD...... Anyways, tu know you're obsessed with Bellatrix when....
Credit: Me Myself and I

1. tu throw away all of your hairbrushes.

2. tu wear at least some black every day.

3. tu rip your clothes on purpose.

4. tu call people tu don't like "filthy mudbloods".

5. tu yell "CRUCIO!" at people when tu get mad.

6. tu carry knives on your person

7. Your desktop background and screensaver are of Bellatrix.

8. Whenever you're typing a word that starts with a "B" o an "L", tu accidentally type out a Bellatrix o a Lestrange instead.

9. tu think her birthday should...

A handy-dandy Wikihow articulo on how to make a horcrux, for all tu aspiring Dark witches and wizards out there!
Credit: wikihow.com

1. Become an extremely powerful witch o wizard. This will take years of study and sacrifice which lie beyond the scope of a WikiHow article. As a general guide tu should not attempt to create a horcrux until tu can cast non-verbal killing curses.

2. Locate an object of extreme significance to you. An emotional attachment to the object will aid the process and make it easier on your body and soul.

3. Bathe in the Water of Sorrows and eat 1 cup of paste made from...

Me, Myself, and I

By Rita Skeeter

Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange

Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s más to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!

RS: Hello!

BL: *growls*

RS: Do tu mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?

BL: What’s that?

*fingers wand handle threateningly*

RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call tu Bella?

BL: No.

RS: How would tu describe your relationship with the man known as...