Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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I've talked about some of the things that crossed my mind when lectura Twilight in the past. Thoughts such as "when is Bella going to freak out about the Edward watching her sleep thing?" "Did that say sparkling? I've re-read that passage like, four times and it still seems to say sparkling" "Does Stephanie Meyer think deer is a vegetable? no, really does she? Does she think tu can call yourself a vegetarian if tu don't eat things like people o those monkeys who know sign language?"
But those are valid thoughts that many people lectura the libros also thought (well, maybe not specifically the thing about Stephanie Meyer thinking non-vegetarians are cannibals who eat sign language monkeys, but the gist was the same). But aside from the sensible queries I had I also ended up wondering stupid things like:

1. How could Edward possibly enjoy watching Bella sleep?
We all think of this from Bella's point of view, how she should feel violated, how could she be ok with that, etc, but lets see this from Eddy's. Since 'special sleeping' is never mentioned as one of Bella's mary sue powers I'm going to guess she sleeps like a normal person. Making this the least romantic experience ever. Sure tu can watch someone sleep for a few minutos and think they look all cute and cuddly, but all night every night? He must have heard her fart about a hundred times. What if she snores? o talks in her sleep? o drools? She must do at least one of those things. If she doesn't the soul crushing boredom would have killed him. The fact that the way she sleeps was entertaining enough for Edward to keep it up every night means I have to assume he was there to laugh at her in all her embarrassing sleepy glory.

2. What if Bella started wearing perfume? Would he still like her? Because I estimate his feelings for her to be based on 50% her smell 15% her ability to not laugh hysterically at things like sparkles o vampire baseball 25% her willingness to be pushed around an 10% the fact that she's as melodramatic as him.

3. Speaking of them both being melodramatic, what if the girl who was just his favourite kind of smelly hadn't luckily turned out to be a huge drama queen like him? Could he amor someone who was down to earth and reacted in any normal way? Even if it was still a girl who was ok with being a doormat, could he amor someone who wasn't a drama queen? That would make their conversations suck for him:

E: "We cannot be....For I am evil like a spider, and tu are pure like people who take spiders outside away from people who don't like spiders."
Non Drama queen Bella: "Oh, for heavens sake Edward can we just watch the movie?"
E: "No, metaphorical spiders like me don't deserve movies."
NDQB: "Will tu just shush and eat your popcorn?"
E: "This...is the popcorn...of a KILLER! we may never be a couple"
NDQB: "Look, do tu want us to break up?"
E: "What? No. Where did tu get that? You're not playing along!"

4. Wouldn't sparkling make it very hard to see? Even if part of his vampire powers is that strong light doesn't hurt his eyes (which it must be, have tu ever looked really close at something bright? it hurts) all those little sparkles dancing around his vision would be so distracting. He doesn't just shine, he sparkles meaning it's lots of tiny little lights not just him glowing. How can he possibly focus past them? Does he sometimes just randomly go cruzar, cruz eyed because he was distracted por the sparkles on his nose? He must. I would.

5. Are Esme and Carlise secretly really amargo, amargos that Edward's vamp power is mind reading, Alice is psychic and the powers the got stuck with (if memory serves) are things like 'love' and 'compassion'? I would be furious. Especially since Carlisle was the first Cullen vamp, did he even know that turning into a vampire could get tu a real power, not just a heightened emotion? Can tu imagine how you'd feel if tu were walking around feeling all sparkly and good about yourself "I'm awesome, not only do I have all these vampire abilities I also got extra compassion. Wooo." Then tu turn some kid, who you'd think would be weaker than tu since you're the older vamp and he gets mind reading? I don't care how fatherly and sweet Carlise acts to Edward's face, he's punching his almohada of a night ranting about the snot nosed brat who got mind lectura while he's stuck with compassion.

6. Isn't doctor the stupidest career choice in the history of idiocy if tu live a daily struggle to avoid eating people? I get Carlisle wanted to help people, but there are probably dozens of jobs where tu help people but at no point risk snapping and eating them. Did he wait and become a doctor after he already had his bloodlust so under control, o for the first few years was he just the worst doctor ever, who occasionally ate a patient? "Doctor, my flu is just getting worse, and also tu appear to be biting my neck." That's like a big fat guy starting his diet on his first día on the job at the cookie factory.
posted by XxGigglesxX
1. Twilight is the product of an immature writer. It reads like something out of my notebook from freshman year.
2. The only difference between Twilight and fanfiction.net is marginally better grammar.
3. And even that isn’t so great sometimes. English major fail.
4. I’ve read fanfiction that is lightyears better than Twitripe.
5. The prose is purple amethyst! Deep, luscious, dazzling amethyst that scintillates and glitters incandescently in the sun!
6. Not to mention, it’s also insanely repetitive.
7. THESAURUS ABUSE! Fancy words are not necessarily better words.
8. The storyline is trite and...
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Why this hater doesn't like Twilight.....
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twilight
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critical analysis
stephenie meyer
added by marthatsal
posted by TriaRose
Dear Ms. Meyer,

Hi. I’m Tria. It’s nice to meet you. As tu have probably guessed, I am escritura to tu concerning your series known as “The Twilight Saga.” If you’ll forgive me for being rude, I’d like to be blunt.

You fail.

Again, apologies for my rudeness. If you’ll allow me, I’m going to back up this assumption of your literary failure.

Let’s start with the plots, looking at each book individually, and then the libros as a whole.
Twilight: Barely has a plot. The book is 300 o so pages of nothing happening besides mooning on about Edward and his eyes. Then tu throw in three...
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After lectura the post "Bella as a heroine should be illegal" por bendaimmortal, it got me thinking. Obviously, no-one would consider Bella cisne a heroine. If tu do, tu have got a really great deal of imagination, o a warped sense of the world. Because, and I'm sure most Twilight fans would agree, the girl didn't do anything at all. Save being overly dramatic and being the damsel in distress.

What about the Cullens then? What about Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett? What about He-Who-Sparkles-In-Broad-Daylight? Would they be considered heroes/heroines?

No.

I say that the Cullens...
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Note: It’s important for me to communicate that I don’t know the autor of Twilight o her family personally and I do not intend them any insult; this articulo is purely academic speculation inspired por a story which will remain a timeless work of art. It is the emotional accessibility of the work which makes commentary such as this possible. I may be projecting the whole thing… But that’s exactly why Twilight is so successful, because it invites us so welcomingly into the story!

Every fan knows the story of the Twilight Saga.
There are many theories as to what makes the story such a pop-culture...
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As a fan of Twilight, I am part of a lot of related spots and discussions. However, as a Jacob & Bella fan, I often find myself disagreeing with most of the opinions of Twilight fans. In this articulo I'll go through some comentarios I've read (slightly altered - don't want anyone out to get me!) and why I disagree with them. It's really just an informal rant. :P

'Edward & Bella have things in common unlike Jacob & Bella'

... What exactly? Let me guess: Classical music? Bella knows one song and suddenly they have something in common. They both read? When do we actually read of Bella reading...
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Soo, I read Twilight in 2005 and seriously thought it was the best thing I'd ever read, and never thought I'd read anything better. How young and stupidly naive I was!

When I first bought it, it was treasured, as were New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & all the money wasting merchandise I purchased to. But over the past 2 years, I've seen the fan base grow and grow and GROW into something that is just pretty hectic and down right ridiculous.

I personally feel sorry for the cast, especially Robert Pattinson. Poor guy, can't even walk out his front door without being mobbed. There's such thing...
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As someone who liked vampiros before the fad started I'm one of the many people who dislikes the Twilight vampires. And thinks they should be reclassified as pixies. o that at least Zombie Bram Stoker should go have a serious talk with Stephenie Meyer about vampires... What do tu mean Bram Stoker hasn't risen as a zombie in protest to the Twilight vampires? Why don't tu go prove it? I'll wait...

...

...They didn't come back, so I'm assuming Zombie Bram ate their brains. We'll have to carry on without them. Anyway, I must admit Meyerpires are an interpretation of the vampire myth I just don't...
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Disclaimer: The título of the articulo may seem to be a bit strange, as most of my artículos that I have publicado on here are usually issues I have with the Twilight Saga, but I decided that myself as an anti, wanted to write about things I actually do like about the series. Guarantee, I actually do think Stephanie Meyer did create some characters in this series, and I just wanted to lista my parte superior, arriba 8. This will be in no particular order.
* * *
Jasper Hale

If hypothetically, I were to meet the Cullen, I would think that Jasper would be the only one I probably be remotely afraid of in any sort of way. Or...
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posted by KateKicksAss
I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com


How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as o más beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do tu stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do tu irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why...
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A hilarious BD spoof. Jacob is hungry for Renesmee's love...and a McFlurry, :P
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added by maritina12345
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added by Mallory23
Source: http://fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com/
I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but más often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would vampiros go to high school?”, o “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, o can be logically theorized. These are usually followed por “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, o “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, o my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...
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Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if tu don't mind the lulz.
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aagh! I accidentally deleted this when I was trying to editar it. here it is again with a new title:

Bella could have gotten over Edward in New Moon and even had a real relationship with Jacob in time, but she wouldn't let herself. She felt that moving on would diminish o discredit her twu wuv with Edward and the pain she felt after he left. She wants to believe she can't get over it because she wants to believe that what they had was extraordinary, not like any other teenage romance. She wants to believe no one else in the world can relate to what she's going through. She was alone because she...
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added by Disaster