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posted by Canada24
Lets review the only movie of the series, that isn't complete shit.
A series starting with the stupidest moment is the tiburón jumping on the boat.. I mean WHAT!?
And ends with a tiburón roaring, fucking roaring,
And a man escaping a plane being dragged down por a tiburón and escapes without a scratch "and nobody asking how". And that Sharks travel thousands of miles for revenge, and turns out the dicho revenge was poorly planned out, cause Michael literary jumps into the water, and Jaws swims away, even though the entire point of Jaws coming all that way, was the sole purpose of killing Michael.

Anyway, here's my sarcastic review of a famish movie that caused Sharks too be hunted down, and for people too make so many tiburón movies, tu wanna take the makers of Jaws and slap them across the face, saying, "YOU CREATED MONSTERS!"

So, let's get this mockery started..
And yes.. I seen this movie before.. Grew up with it más o less.. Dad showed me it.. And ever sense, I been one traumatized kid..

Anyway, here we go..

During a late-night playa party on Amity Island, a young woman goes skinny dipping (just because). While treading water, she is violently pulled under por a unseen force.
Okay.. All kidding aside.. NOT seeing Bruce the shark, is WAY scarier.. It's why we're all so scared. We can't friggin see it.
It sure screwed ME up.

Anyway, with the murder being all over the news.
The new Police chief, Brody, demands the playa closed.
But the Mayor overrules him because.. Well.. He's a fucking idiot.

So, as expected, another tiburón related murder takes place. And Brody shuts down the beach.
And the town is mad at him, demanding the playa too be open.
What were tu all smoking weed while the poor little boy was being murdered?

Than again, that would explain why nobody reacted too it, least till the saw the blood. Not when the kid was screaming two feet away from them.

Anyway, thinking Brody is being paranoid, yeah. Only paranoid.. That's clearly why two people are found dead within the same week.
Local fishermen catch a large tiger shark, the mayor proclaims the beaches safe, because, tu know, "death = más money".

Hooper disputes it being the same predator, confirming this after no human remains are found inside it. Hooper and Brody find a half-sunken fisherman's vessel while searching the night waters in Hooper's boat. Underwater, Hooper retrieves a sizable great white shark's tooth embedded in the submerged hull, but drops it after being startled por the fisherman's corpse (an "good" jump scare).

Mayor discounts Brody and Hooper's claims that a huge great white tiburón is responsible, even though people fucking SAW it kill a kid, and refuses to close the beaches.
How did this guy even become mayor? He's either a sociopath, o the stupidest person alive.

On the Fourth of July weekend, tourists pack the beaches. Following a juvenile prank (dicks), the real tiburón (Bruce) enters a nearby estuary, leading to my favourite scene.
We briefly see Bruce, as he kills his siguiente victim.
That always scared me the most in this movie, never got that vision out of my head.
Though the leg kinda ruined it for me.
But for some unexplained reason, bruce doesn't kill Michael. Just swims bye. Leaving him traumatized.

Skip ahead.
Quint, Brody and Hooper set out on Quint's boat, the Orca, to hunt Bruce.
While Brody lays down a chum line, Quint waits for an opportunity to hook the shark. Without warning, Bruce appears behind the boat, leading too Brody's famish line, and Quint estimates its length at 25 feet (7.6 m). Quint harpoons the tiburón with a tethered barrel but it drags the barrel underwater and disappears.

At nightfall, as the three swap stories, the Bruce returns unexpectedly, ramming the boat's hull and killing the power. The men work through the night repairing the engine. In the morning, Brody attempts to call the Coast Guard, but Quint smashes the radio, enraging Brody.

After a long chase, Quint harpoons another barrel into the shark. The line is tied to the stern, but the Bruce drags the barco backwards, swamping the deck and flooding the engine compartment, forcing Quint to sever the line to prevent the transom from being pulled out. He then heads toward shore, intending to lure the tiburón to shallower waters and suffocate it, but the overtaxed engine quits.

With the Orca slowly sinking, the trio attempt a riskier approach: Hooper dons scuba gear and enters the water in a shark-proof cage, intending to lethally inject the tiburón with strychnine using a hypodermic spear. The tiburón demolishes the cage before Hooper can inject it, but he manages to escape to the seabed.
Little known fact. Hooper dies in the actual book.

Anyway, Bruce then attacks the barco directly, LITERARY jumping the shark, por jumping on the boat, and devouring Quint.

Trapped on the sinking vessel, Brody stuffs a pressurized scuba tank into the Bruce's mouth, and shoots the tank with Quint's rifle, giving the OTHER famish line. before blowing the fucking shit out of Bruce.

With Bruce gone, Hooper resurfaces, and he and Brody paddle to Amity Island clinging to barco wreckage.

And that's Jaws.. Still holds up.. I really like this one..
posted by Canada24
I only watched episode 4 today.

So, we have our first Todd episode.
I had a feeling I was gonna like this character, Aaron Paul is just a great actor period.

Plus.. I'll probably be Todd in 5 years, xD
Playing video games, sleeping on couches... Selling drugs.
It'll be the best life ever :)

Anyway.. Still nothing to say.
But I'll keep watching.. This one was somewhat of an approvement over the other ones.

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Well.. I honestly don't have anything to say this time.
This mostrar is starting to give me that "numb feelings" tu get from watching Hellsing Ultimate..

Guess I should get use to that.
Wind says this is WORSE than Hellsing, in that sense.

Especially since Hellsing probably isn't meant to be taken THAT seriously.
It's basic "shoot em up" series.
But with scary as shit moments mixed among it.

This mostrar seems más subtle, and smarter..

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3 DAYS EARLIER:

Twi: tu sure about leaving?

Saten: Afried so.. But at least Pinkie is taking it better than I thought she would.

Pinkie: (crying heavily).

Saten: See, she's fine.

Twi: Uhh, sure.

Pinkie: (still crying)

Dash: Hey, tu still got me Pinkie.

Pinkie: (thinks about this) (cries harder).

Saten: I am gonna miss this place though.. So many friends.

Master Sword: (walks bye).

Saten: hola buddy

Master Sword: Fuck off, (flips him the middle finger before leaving).

Twi: Guess he still blames tu for Derpy..

Saten: Sure.. But least he's handling it better than he did earlier.

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Well.. Decided to do my reviews on mondays for now..

Guess I got my wish of something "interesting" happening.
Reminds me why I decided to keep with this show, despite how boring it started getting..

Weird how Johan's sister goes from annoying, to a cool character (kinda hot as far as caricaturas go).
Weird how to those people, any pretty girl, means she must be a hooker o something.. But hey, this a girl who kept a gun in a very "interesting" spot.
I mean.. What if she's having sex, and forgot the gun there..
JonTron: TWO KIDS ARE GONNA DIE TONIGHT!!

I have feeling she's gonna die though.
Wind kinda...
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#1: HARRY POTTER SPOOF:
It's poorly edited. Rushed.
And.. I could of done better..
Oh well..


#2: I WAS HERE FIRST:
My first ever MLP story.
I still like it.
But it's very over rated.
Currently my most popular story.
And not even my best work. It's just me mostrando off my amor of Spike at the time, and mostrando SpikeXRarity, a ship I don't even like all that much..
And, I only made the sequel to shut up that one guy..


#3: UNLIKELY HEROS:
My A&O days.
I didn't want to make it. But I was kinda forced into it.
I kinda rushed it.
And my ending was stupid..


#4: SAVING PRIVATE RYAN SPOOF:
I was still exploring my skills.
It kinda sucks..


#5: WHAT IF STORY:
Yet another A&O story I was FORCED into.
Same with "Wolves that can sing/rap"..
Farcry 3 should be a movie.

I never actually played the actual game.
The way I do it. It pretty much IS a movie. I watch all the cutscenes of every character.

But this movie would really need GOOD actors for not only Vass, but ALL 3 of the villains.

Vaas, Hoyt, and Buck. They're all scary in their own way. And they are, in my opinion, the greatest villains I ever seen in a video game.

But hey, Jason would also need a really good actor.
He slowly loses his mind, but yet, he's still the GOOD guy..

This game is actually SCARY. It would probably be a horror movie.
But hey.. I myself would watch it.
posted by Canada24
#1: THEY HAVE OUR BACK:
If anybody attacks Canada. We can take peace in knowing that America will come and kick their ass.
Same with Canada to America. Though OUR military isn't quite as good..


#2: BANDS:
They have metallica and all them..
We have Justin Bieber..


#3: I LIKE THEIR FLAG:
Certainly better then a leaf..


#4: AMC:
Walking dead, and Breaking Bad are both American shows. And the GREATEST shows..


#5: FLORIDA:
We go their EVERY year..


#6: THEY HAVE JIMMY TATRO:
Funniest youtube guy I could of think of.
And is now a movie star..


#7: THEY HAVE WILL FARREL:
Who cares how mean he probably is.
He's hilarious..


#8: BAND OF BROTHERS:
It's about the AMERICAN army.
ALL the good ones are. Like Saving Private Ryan. And Fury..


#9: CANADA HAS NO COME BACKS:
America labels us all these things.
We never have anything smart enough to say back.


#10: BETTER LAW SYSTEM:
Canada has NO justice..
posted by Canada24
Sense Eric is my is my new favourite Jimmy Tatro character. I decided to have a marathon of him, and looked up every video featuring him.. (sorry if I left out some, Eric is a HUGE character)..

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Dubstep

THAT drunk girl (small appearance)

Types of Drunks (the Pros)

Squad desayuno tardío, brunch

Why white dudes shouldn't rap (one of his funniest ones)

The translator

The intervention

Avengers gone wrong

Superman is our roommate

Who do tu know here

The impressionist

Cribs: Breakup Edition

The fantasía Draft

March Sadness (one of the voices)

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#1: THE BOOGEYMAN - VINCENT VEVA CAVA:
I publicado this story all over fan pop, so we all know it.
* Little boy keeping parents up at night.
* Mystery lady in closet takes little boy.
* Little boy is secretly replaced por large, morphing, Maggot..


#2: THEY PUSHED HER:
it was meant to just be a prank, but they are shocked to realize that they accidently killed the poor girl.
Anyway, due to being a creepypasta, obviously Carmen's ghost returns to haunt them.
The girls began getting mysterious e mails saying "they pushed her" and it never says who it's from.
It reminds me of the Simpsons halloween episode,...
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posted by Canada24
SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

ON ROAD:

Packie: hola Niko.. Dash.. Glad tu two could make it.

Dash: Of coarse... So Gracie.. Remember me?

Gracie: (gagged) Yes tu tit-less slut.. HOPE tu DIE!

Dash: Yes.. We shared some good times didn't we?

Gracie: (gagged) I'LL RIP YOUR FACE OFF!

Packie: Gracie, watch your mouth. Lucia is a good friend of mine. Don't say that about her.

Gracie: (gagged) Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

Packie: Gracie, you're sweet. I know I'm too good for her, but sometimes a guy has got to hang out with lowlifes like Dashie here.. She's got his her uses.

Gracie: (gagged) I'll give you...
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posted by Canada24
SEVERAL DAYS LATER

"So where we going?" Niko asked.

"I got this meeting over on Joliet Street. There's a rifle up on the roof of the place siguiente door. tu need to go up there and make sure nothing goes wrong" Packie said, as he and Niko were meeting for the first time.

"I suppose I can handle that" Niko insisted.

"Great.. Though this isn't MY deal.. It's someone else's.. who owes Elizabeta a little bit of money... I'm suppose watching over the person, same way your watching 'me'.. Your my guardian angel, boy" Packie said.

"If tu and this stranger don't trust these guys you're doing the deal with,...
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posted by Canada24
CURRENT AGE: 29.. (25 during GTA 4).

PREFERED WEAPON: (shotguns, pistols).

BACKGROUND:
It's unknown what officially caused the death of her family, but she mentions her unnamed sister died of cancel.
And Packie and Maureen are the only family she has left, even though they obviously aren't related.
It's never FULLY mentioned, how she found Packie in the first place..


APPEARENCE:
Usually described as an very attractive girl.
But also a bit of a short one.
Along with long brunette hair, rosy eyes (kinda similar to arco iris Dash from my little pony).


PERSONALITY
Dash isn't your typical GIRLY girl.
She's...
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added by Canada24
video
#1: FREDDY KRUEGER (nightmare on Elms calle spoof):
Most of Freddy's most disturbing traits are replaced por his immature behavior.
for example, he refuses to kill Nancy till she becomes scared of him, when she starts getting bored por how long he's taking to kill him.,
Freddy goes around quoting every line he EVER had in the actual movies, and also using frases from other cine (though he denies it and claims it's HIS quote).
Due to this "new" personality, it's possible that only reason he's killing people in their sleep, is because he "can" kill us in our sleep..


#2: RICK GRIMES (Walking Dead...
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#1: METALLICA:
I literary grew up lessoning to these guys, I never saw them live, but probably will never need to.

#2: THREE DAYS GRACE:
Again.
I grew up with these guys.
And even have an autographed picture of them.
And, on más then one occasion, I use them in school projects.

#3: NICELBACK:
All the same as dicho for Three days grace.
Accept the autographed picture part.

#4: EMINEM:
Ever sense 8 mile he became all I ever lesson too.

#5: AVENGED SEVENFOLD:
It's kinda hard to explain, but my foundness of them goes from WAY back. Not even sure how long, but I know it was at least 4 o 5 years.

#6: DISTURBED:...
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posted by Canada24
#1: Dragonowitiz:
For those who don't know. This is my name for Pony.Mov Spike. Based on the characters last name.. Anyway. There are lots of reasons he's on here.. Can't name any at the moment though..

#2: Alucard Abridged:

#3: Jan Valentine, both version:
He is every bad thing tu can think of. But he's also hilarious. And a good villain..

#4: Abridged Anderson:

#5: SwagDash:
Total bitch, and she would take this as an compliment.. But still.. SWAG!! She says SWAG!!

#6: Shydale:
My name for Pony.mov Fluttershy. Again based on the last name.. She murders without remorse, but she still has that...
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#10:
Goku: Gohan. Get to the ship. If Puccalo dies. This would of been all for nothing..
Gohan: Wow. This is Serprisingly thought out for you.
Goku: (sternly) Gohan.. Where should tu be wait now?
Gohan: ... This shi-
Goku: THE SHIP!!

#9:
Reditiz: (explaining what goku is)
Goku: .. What?
Reditiz: Plus I am your brother
Goku: What?
Reditiz: You.. Fell on your head as a baby didn't you?
Goku: ... What?

#8:
Piccolo: We're here to stop the senseless slaughter of these people.
Frieza: 92..
Piccolo: This has gone on for too long. And now tu must suffer.
Frieza: 355..
Piccolo: And we're the ones who will stop...
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#1: HOW DID LANDON RICKETS GET JOHN'S NAME:
In the mission where Landon gives tu 3rd dead eye. John never told Landon his name.
So how did he know it during the siguiente mission?


#2: DOSE ANYONE MAKE JOHN MARSTON FAMISH FOR "BAD" REASONS:
I think about it.
But it's just something about John, that makes it (mentally) impossible for me to go around killing and robbing the innocent people for no actual reason.
Instead I'm always saving strangers, and doing night watches, not even killing on night watches, just hogtying them.
I wonder what would happen if tu make him famish for the "wrong" reasons. But...
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After recommending a few games to my hetero lifemate, Canada24, I thought “You know… I should annoy him por giving him some anime to watch”. Now, I know Canada isn’t the best when it comes to understanding Japanese culture, so I need to be as careful as I possibly can with this list. Like disarming a bomb. Only this will probably leave a lot less casualties if I fuck up. So, seeing as how this will never make the front page, I am going to put little effort into this opening and just get started.

#10: Samurai Champloo



I do not expect Canada to ever watch this anime. This is just one...
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added by Dreamtime