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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can tu tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The palanca de mando is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her más attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do tu say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are tu boys all in the same band?
A3: Do tu guys all play for the Green bahía Packers?

Q: How do tu make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The más tu bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a cerveza bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and espaguetis, espagueti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when tu eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: How do tu get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: What do tu call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do tu get when tu turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the calle when the sign dicho "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a capa hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because oveja can't bring cerveza from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window asiento on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it dicho From 2-4 years.

Q: How do tu confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E o does it go between M and W?"

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook comida stamps!

Q: What is the blonde's favorito! potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: Did tu hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: Did tu hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!

Q: What do a ciclomotor and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees tu on one.

Q: How do tu know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All tu have to do is scratch the box to win.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray

Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.

Q: What do tu call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin

Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up por 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around por the tits.'

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air

Q: Did tu hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When tu have a tire bomba to reinflate it!

Q: What is a blonde's favorito! part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: Did tu here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.

Q: What's a blonde's favorito! nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did tu name the other one ?"

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: Did tu hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in cama por 10?
A: She picks up her bolso, monedero and goes home.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when tu pull your meat out of it.

Q: Did tu hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.

Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a guisante in the morning?
A: It swells at night.

Q: A blonde is walking down the calle with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did tu get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six o twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What's a blonde's idea of seguro sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Q: Did tu hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
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Source: RaNdOm, random, picture, funny, cute, beauty, animals, art
posted by nmdis
SLOW DOWN

Now that I have captured your attention
I want to steal tu for a rhythm intervention
Mr. T, tu say I'm ready for inspection
Show me how tu make a first impression

Oh, oh
Can we take it nice and slow, slow
Break it down and drop it low, low
Cause I just wanna party all night in the neon lights 'til tu can't let me go

I just wanna feel your body right siguiente to mine
All night long
Baby, slow down the song
And when it's coming closer to the end hit rewind
All night long
Baby, slow down the song

If tu want me I'm accepting applications
So long as we keep this record on rotation
You know I'm good...
continue reading...
posted by animelol
Mary asks everyone to guess her age. Thanks to the amazing effects of two safe, at-home anti-aging creams, her skin defies time, looking 20 years younger than it once did.

As a mom to two children in Hightstown, New Jersey, Mary leads the typical average American lifestyle. After working hard to provide for her family in this struggling economy, Mary can't afford to throw money at the newest beauty products, hoping they will work when all others have not lived up to their hype. Unhappy with the wrinkles and age spots on her face, not to mention the sagging skin on her neck, Mary strived to find...
continue reading...
posted by cloudburst
I'm still alive but barely breathing
Just pray to a God that beloved in
Cause I got rime while she got freedom
Cause when a hertbreaks,no it don't breakeven

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
cause when a heartbreaks,no it don't breakeven,even,no

What am I suppose to do
When the best part of me is always tu and
What am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and your okay

I'm falling to pieces,yeah
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cause...
continue reading...
Pretty much in no specific order. Enjoy!

~~

CLANNAD + {CLANNAD After Story}

Easily an instant classic, and needs más publicity. Very touching with memorable characters. I don't recommended this anime for anxious people (mostly boys) who aren't comfortable with a steady plot with not too much going on until later in the story. WARNING: 99% chance of uncontrollable crying. Good luck, my friends xD

Main themes: Comedy, romance, drama, slice of life


Kuroshitsuji (I + II)

I have been a fan of this series for a long while. It's origins are Victorian Era England, which makes it enjoyable for anyone who's...
continue reading...
1.Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2.While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3.Every time tu turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout "Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!"

4.Go up to the manager and tell him o her that you've lost your mommy.

5.While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6.Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles - and around corners - with a magnifying glass.

7.While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he o she has anything for body lice.

8.After visiting the bakery section,...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
CAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOPPPPEEEEEEE
CHHHHHHHHAAAAANNNNEEEELLLLLL!
HIA VIEWERS!
It's me your host Invader Calliope.
It's nice to see tu again! :3
Well todays specail guest is......IGGINS!
Iggins:Oh It's me IGGIN *laughs*
Invader Calliope:Your laugh was way off.
Iggins:What?
Invader Calliope:I dicho YOUR LAUGH WAS WAY OFF!
Iggins:What do tu mean?
Invader Calliope:YOUR LAUGH COMES FROM RIGHT HERE *places hand on heart*
Iggins:YES MA'AM!
Invader Calliope:Ok so we got that over with! It's time for some talking!
Iggins:O-ok!
Invader Calliope:*smiles*
Iggins:Hello?
Invader Calliope:So how was your trip IGGINS!
Iggin:I-it was easy I al-alread-already live close so it was easy.
Invader Calliope:Well that's nice to know.I'm closing the mostrar today! BYE! I HOPE tu ENJOY THE SUPRISE PICTURE!
The End