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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can tu tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The palanca de mando is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her más attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do tu say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are tu boys all in the same band?
A3: Do tu guys all play for the Green bahía Packers?

Q: How do tu make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The más tu bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a cerveza bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and espaguetis, espagueti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when tu eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: How do tu get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: What do tu call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do tu get when tu turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the calle when the sign dicho "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a capa hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because oveja can't bring cerveza from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window asiento on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it dicho From 2-4 years.

Q: How do tu confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E o does it go between M and W?"

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook comida stamps!

Q: What is the blonde's favorito! potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: Did tu hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: Did tu hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!

Q: What do a ciclomotor and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees tu on one.

Q: How do tu know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All tu have to do is scratch the box to win.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray

Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.

Q: What do tu call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin

Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up por 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around por the tits.'

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air

Q: Did tu hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When tu have a tire bomba to reinflate it!

Q: What is a blonde's favorito! part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: Did tu here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.

Q: What's a blonde's favorito! nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did tu name the other one ?"

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: Did tu hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in cama por 10?
A: She picks up her bolso, monedero and goes home.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when tu pull your meat out of it.

Q: Did tu hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.

Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a guisante in the morning?
A: It swells at night.

Q: A blonde is walking down the calle with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did tu get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six o twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What's a blonde's idea of seguro sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Q: Did tu hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
added by Jeffersonian
added by shiriny
added by OuroborosSnyder
added by angel_cake
added by emmett
added by sonicgoth
Source: misceláneo
added by beefer
Source: beefer
posted by nmdis
"Stop The World"


I don't know why, I don't know why I'm so afraid
I don't know how, I don't know how to fix the pain
We're livin' a lie, livin' a lie; this needs to change
We're out of time, we're out of time and its still the same

We can't stop the world, but there's so much más that we could do
tu can't stop this girl from falling más in amor with you
tu dicho 'nobody has to know',
Give us time to grow, and take it slow
But I'd stop the world, if it'd finally let us be alone
Let us be alone

I'm hearing the noise, hearing the noise from all around
I'm on the edge, I'm on the edge of breaking...
continue reading...
I'm bored so this articulo is misceláneo anyways...

1. Like- it makes tu seem younger

2. Like hell- fun to say and it's useful

3. Unfuckingbelieveable- tu have to have más words like: in-sonofabitch-inginsane o out-goddamn-rageous

4. Bro- No. Just don't use this one.

5. Balls- Don't use it as an exclamation and be like "balls"

6. Sweet- Only when talking about food

7. Shit- never "shoot"

8. -eroo- add this to the end of every possible word. Switcheroo, sexeroo, arresteroo

9. Buddy- buddy is what tu call college students and men named Buddy. Okay, tu have friends.

10. Calm Your Tits- encouraged

11. Piss-...
continue reading...
1. tu can name más types of cheese than clothing brands and know where to buy Limburger (doesn't mean tu would!).

2. To you, a "big town" has 10,000 people in it.

3. The smell of cow manure right outside town doesn't get a segundo thought.

4. Everyone tu know listens to country música like a segundo religion, and those that don't are just wrong.

5. When people comentario on your funny accent, you're like, "What fucking accent? I sound just like you!"

6. When I say "Cheese Days", tu know exactly what I'm talking about and where it is.

7. When a Californian said, "There's a person with a mullet!", you'd...
continue reading...
1. Ichigo and orihime
(bleach)- I amor this couple!
Its like the princess and
the hero! He fights and she
heals him. Orihime loves ichigo and I
love this couple!
2. Renji and rukia(bleach)- He trained
so hard to be vice captain of her
brother. He got his bankai to save
her. They known each other and care
for each for years.
3. Ed and winry(FMA)- I amor the way
ed told her " i will give tu half of my
life if tu give me half yours". Than
winry dicho "how about i give tu all
of it"!
4. Roy and riza(FMA)- it was sad yet
cute moment when she cried for him.
It was very cute when roy hugged
her and how they got each...
continue reading...
posted by chattycandy
Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

Guys hate flirts.

A guy can like tu for a minute, and then forget tu afterwards.

When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

"Are tu doing something?" o "Have tu eaten already?" are the first usual preguntas a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

Guys may be flirting around all día but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics....
continue reading...
posted by jessicamc26
TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER IS SO COOL MY TEACHER...
continue reading...
posted by miniabby33
1 try on all your clothes in your closet
2 sing a song like a pato
3 Watch all of your old disney movies
4 play robin hood
5 play princess
6 lick all of the ice cubes
7 pull a prank like freeze they're undies
8 watch tv but change the channal with your toes
9 take a song but change the lyrics
10 try to do lots of accents



comentario tell your friends then I will make más spread the word boredom has a cure!!! I amor making these for tu so comment. All the comentarios I get I feel like a moviestar so tell everyone. I'm escritura all this cuz I need a longer articulo so yea tacos are good i like taco bravos from taco johns
i amor this lol
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added by 050801090907
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