misceláneo Club
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies.

They then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The segundo one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line the last guy in the line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:

"Make 'em all ugly again".
--I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
--I used to come here all the time with my ex.
--I never dicho tu NEED a nose job. I just dicho it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
--Could tu excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
---I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have dado someone like tu a segundo look.
--And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.
--It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I fecha just won't be as smart as I am.
lol
Dear President Obama;
Hello. I am speaking on behalf of the Solicitous And Rude Citizens Asininely Seeking Metamorphosis. We here at SARCASM have but two humble goals: coming up with a new acronym that makes actual sense, and to cure the affliction that has been persistent in killing off millions of people since the dawn of time, or, unless we are mistaken, the late 60’s—death. According to the statistics gathered por our diligent team of sea turtles, 98.54 people are diagnosed with death every 2 segundos (if we had one apple, and one of our sea turtles found three others, this is how many apples we would have.) We ask a simple favor from the depths of your all knowing wisdom and possibly robotic chest. Mr. President, with the help of the laser that we believe to be stored within your chest, we could save millions. As one Bob the Builder once said, “Yes we can.” Mr. Obama, we call tu forth.
Hoping tu are well,
SARCASM

Please sign your name below.
posted by cloudstrifefan
1.Einstein was four years old before he could speak.
2.Issac Newton did poorly in grade school.
3.Beethoven's música teacher once dicho of him,"As a composer,he is hopeless."
4.When Thomas Edison was a boy his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything.
5.Michael Jordan was cut from his high school baloncesto team.Boston Celtics Hall of Famers Bob Cousy and Bill Russel suffered the same fate.
5.A newspaper editor fired Walt disney because he had no good ideas.
6.Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade.
7.Steven Spielberg dropped out of high school in his sophomore year. He was persuaded to come back and placed in a learning disabled class. He lasted a mes and dropped out forever.
added by LovableXNerd
Source: google
posted by MineTurtle5
This is in response to the question: 'What's your religion?' and I put it into an articulo because it was too big to fit inside the answer box.

So, this is basic cristianismo for @SilverFey.

There is only one God. God is a Trinity (translation: three in one, like a three-leaf clover): God the Father, God the Son (who is Jesus) and God the Holy Spirit.
God made everything and is all knowing, all powerful, eternal, love, the King of kings, holy (perfect) and immutable (doesn't change. Ever.)
Jesus is God. jesús became a man. A human, just like us. jesús was (and is) sinless. jesús is the only way...
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added by breebree446
Life without amor is meaningless. amor was born even before mankind was born and it still exists in all kinds of organism, including humans. Though amor is expressed in various forms and between different relationships, eternal amor is accomplished between a man and a woman. amor is one trait that never diminishes as long as tu give it to others and keeps on growing.

There are immortal stories on enamorados and immortal frases on love. Even in the stories that ended in tragedy, amor has never failed but only the enamorados have. They stand evergreen and are suitable for all ages of time, whatever is the advancement in technology and science. They are suitable.
Hi my name is Amanda and this is how to service 7th grade. On the first día of 7th grade I was so excited to see my friends after summer yay. Well the first día of 7th grade really sucked but at least I got to see my friends. Yes it’s time to leave school. But I did not see one of my friends Hannah that sucks because she went to Luray middle. Well I’m inicial and I just talked to Hannah on the phone. She dicho “I might come back to page siguiente semester”. “Sweet school is so different without one of my best friends” I said. “If I don’t come back don’t be mad at me”. “I won’t...
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posted by gossipgirlxoxo
1. Shave one eyebrow.

2. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring tu food.

3. Spill a lot of cerveza on his/her bed. Swim.

4. Clip your fingernails and toenails and keep them in a baggie. Leave the baggie near your computer and snack from it while studying. If s/he walks by, grab the bag close and eye him/her suspiciously.

5. Stare at your roommate for five minutos out of every hour. Don't say anything, just stare.

6. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

7. Keep a hámster as a pet. Buy a blender,...
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