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posted by NarutoCrypt
•    HUG it daily
•    Be nice and pet it when it is feeling emotional
•    Kiss it twice everyday
•    Play patty cake with it fiercely
•    Don’t cuss in your house
•    Give it an even number of baths everyday (You better be listening!)
•    Don’t let it watch educational television
•    Enter the room with a bow ,when tu visit your caballos dormitory
•    Don’t ever scare it o tease it with yarn ( not even your cat)
•    Don’t let it interact with other male caballos (no matter the gender of your horse)
•    Tickle it responsively
•    Don’t tell it bad jokes
•    Let it play with ONLY BIG children o adults (that is for the safety of the horse’s guilt and the safety of your child)
•    Check it’s ears daily
•    Let your horse blog on any computer it wants
•    Give it only “great value” brand of crackers o cheese
•    Do not continually talk to it (it will annoy your horse)
•    Never play an electric guitarra around it
•    Cue the horse’s bath time properly
•    Never shake your horse! (bad ,bad ,bad)
(WARNING: Profanity OUT OF THE WAZOO! Viewer discretion advised. Also, pie.)

(I will drive tu to madness por letting tu figure out why the heck I dicho pie. ;D)

Here's a trick question, what's one plus one? ^___^

JASON DERULO SUCKS.

Seriously, I don't mean to be mean, (BAD PUNS FTW!) But Jason Derulo.... He's not good. Almost every song he made is either bland, lame, forgettable, o perverted as hell.

Some MASTERPIECES he made include Talk Dirty, In My Head, and......

Wiggle Wiggle. :P

(WHAT THE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK!?)

And then there's..... This song, I wouldn't call it Jason's worst song, but it's...
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added by Rodz
Source: wallcoo.net
added by LovingParisJ
Source: google & Tumblr
added by 050801090907
added by Usui--takumi
Source: Image
added by alizoula
posted by akatsuki_lover9
Ways to Annoy:
1.say a misceláneo word for no reason all the time.
2.put spicy stuff in a comida they like.
3.make a loud farting noise from your mouth and say "uh oh, i sharted."
4.make a farting noise from your mouth and blame it on the guy siguiente to you.
5.go to a drive thru, get your face right up to the speaker and yell as loud as tu can.
6.make a REALLY annoying noise all the time.
7.Write using only crayons, markers and paint.
8.When guests are at your house go into the cocina and come out with ketchup all over tu and say "THE BOOGIE MAN IS HERE!" a bunch of times.
9.in school if there's a problem...
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posted by awesomeblossom1
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope tu like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when tu heard someone talking on the intercom, tu fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give tu a ride inicial and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a seta and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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1. Don't EVER tell us to CALM DOWN when we're angry. We hate that, and it often makes the situation worse.
2. Don't act like tu know what you're talking about when tu don't. It just pisses us off.
3. Don't treat us badly and with disrespect.
4. Don't give us commands like we're some kind of dog. We're your equal and should be treated as such.
5. Sure, you're the guy, so tu can act like you're the stronger one... Whatever... But, don't EVER act like you're the head of the house. Relationships are to be an equal situation.
6. Don't yell at us when we do something wrong.
7. When tu screw up, don't...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Researchers in the UK examined más than 1000 jokes and placed them before 36,000 voters to determine the "official" 50 funniest jokes of all time.

And here they are:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

49. A sello walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner comprar - bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell tu what I amor doing más than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo...
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posted by milorox18
1. When tu get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”

2. When he asks why tu were speeding, tell him tu wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend tu are deaf.

4. If he asks if tu knew how fast tu were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……

5. Ask if tu can see his gun.

6. When he says tu aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why tu were speeding, tell him tu had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him por his first name.

11. Pretend tu are gay...
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posted by Mallory101
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All tu Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's corazón is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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found this on the net:

18 Fun Things To Do In A Final That Does Not Matter (i.e. tu are going to fail the class completely no matter what tu get on the final exam)

1) Get the copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

2) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read preguntas aloud, debate your respuestas with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure tu can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3) Bring cheerleaders.

4) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutos into it, loudly say to the...
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posted by slytherin360
Found this on the net:

24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of tu just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your maletín o purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name etiquetas to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they...
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Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have tu ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man siguiente to me!
I puked on the last person who flew siguiente to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would tu look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator....
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
added by RoohWinchester
Source: google
added by SylarNight
Source: made por SylarNight
posted by KataraLover
As many of tu are aware, I absolutely ADORE Wicked and I'm so excited about the movie adaptation that is just taking FOREVER to be made, even before the pandemic came along. So, like many people, I just keep wanting them to make some casting announcements for the movie already and have been making my own fan-cast for the movie, even making a video of my fan-cast. However, I felt like taking the time to explain my casting choices so everyone knows why I made my choices. I will provide my fan-cast video at the end, so tu can hear the vocal capabilities. Please keep in mind that this is just...
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