someone mentioned your name today. It wafted over to me like the smell of spicy perfume - pleasant at first, but one that stings in the long run. My subconscious picked it up, without me noticing and, I must admit, it took me a few tenths of a segundo to dig up your file in my brain. I seemed to forget who tu were for that short amount of time. For that brief, innocent period, I was unaware. The name could have been from years and years ago, it could have been a name I had dado to a perrito, cachorro many years back, the name of a plush toy, the name carved in a bus stop bench. A name that I had known, but never had I connected with a human being o a face.
An abrupt twist brought me back around, down to Earth, back to reality. The brain has a tendency for remembering crimes and pain. To make things clear, I am not me. If my name got caught in your ears, you'd think of a shadow. You'd remember a person, now gone. You'd think of her, but it wouldn't be me. The same name. But not me at all. And tu should know, I hate myself right now. There is a chemical eating me up from the inside. The chemical not being guilt. Having a similar aspect to it, but being much deeper, much más complicated. But nevertheless, I do tell the truth. I hate myself like a child from a divorced family hates one of their parents. The feeling of betrayal. Me betraying myself. Turning out unexpectedly and incorrectly. Doing the wrong things, taking wrong turns.
I was on the right track for a while. I truly was. And I imagined the rest of my life running smoothly. I thanked for every day. I was grateful. I was happy. I was determined. The future looked right. I had things to look adelante, hacia adelante to. Not you. Things other than you. Much deeper, much más complicated. I was a girl on the right track. The girl, ticking off her To-Do lists, was aware of what needed to be done. She was proud. She walked with her head raised. I am not her. I have already ruined almost half of what I worked so fucking hard for. I know what you're thinking, sweetie. "You can still get back." tu can still find the road tu were on and keep pedaling. This is just a rock. A bump on the road to hold tu back. But not to stop tu completely. And I pray that you're right. That tu know what you're saying. Because it's tu we're talking about.
An abrupt twist brought me back around, down to Earth, back to reality. The brain has a tendency for remembering crimes and pain. To make things clear, I am not me. If my name got caught in your ears, you'd think of a shadow. You'd remember a person, now gone. You'd think of her, but it wouldn't be me. The same name. But not me at all. And tu should know, I hate myself right now. There is a chemical eating me up from the inside. The chemical not being guilt. Having a similar aspect to it, but being much deeper, much más complicated. But nevertheless, I do tell the truth. I hate myself like a child from a divorced family hates one of their parents. The feeling of betrayal. Me betraying myself. Turning out unexpectedly and incorrectly. Doing the wrong things, taking wrong turns.
I was on the right track for a while. I truly was. And I imagined the rest of my life running smoothly. I thanked for every day. I was grateful. I was happy. I was determined. The future looked right. I had things to look adelante, hacia adelante to. Not you. Things other than you. Much deeper, much más complicated. I was a girl on the right track. The girl, ticking off her To-Do lists, was aware of what needed to be done. She was proud. She walked with her head raised. I am not her. I have already ruined almost half of what I worked so fucking hard for. I know what you're thinking, sweetie. "You can still get back." tu can still find the road tu were on and keep pedaling. This is just a rock. A bump on the road to hold tu back. But not to stop tu completely. And I pray that you're right. That tu know what you're saying. Because it's tu we're talking about.
Everyone has a red glass window.It's called your heart.People's windows differ from others,some windows are shaded out and don't let any light come in and than there are some windows that are open to whatever goes pass their them.
Is your window open o closed out?
Would tu let the air in if tu had the chance?
My window has been open for quite some time and the same gush of wind keeps coming in and I've grown to amor and need that one breath that air gives me.But that gush of wind I've grown to amor sometimes easily breaks my window with it's power.But yet can easily fix my window up again with it's strength.It is a constant fight between letting that gush of wind in because I'm afraid of the wind breaking my window once more.But that same gush of wind I'm so scared of but yet amor so much,loves me as well but that wind can spread far.Far enough to other people's windows as well.
Always an constant fight between the wind and the window!
Is your window open o closed out?
Would tu let the air in if tu had the chance?
My window has been open for quite some time and the same gush of wind keeps coming in and I've grown to amor and need that one breath that air gives me.But that gush of wind I've grown to amor sometimes easily breaks my window with it's power.But yet can easily fix my window up again with it's strength.It is a constant fight between letting that gush of wind in because I'm afraid of the wind breaking my window once more.But that same gush of wind I'm so scared of but yet amor so much,loves me as well but that wind can spread far.Far enough to other people's windows as well.
Always an constant fight between the wind and the window!
misceláneo Song o Poem o Something
So um enjoy. Idk wot this is but whatev :)
I'll Break this Spell
I’ve lived my life in shadows
Walking at your pace
I couldn’t see that tu were so shallow
I was too mesmerized por your face
Now I can see
All that you’ve done to me
I’ll break this spell
That you’ve put on me
Ever so easily
I won’t treat tu well
After all it’s me
That you’ve messed up completely
I’ll make tu pay hell
If that’s what will set me free
If it’ll set me free
So um enjoy. Idk wot this is but whatev :)
I'll Break this Spell
I’ve lived my life in shadows
Walking at your pace
I couldn’t see that tu were so shallow
I was too mesmerized por your face
Now I can see
All that you’ve done to me
I’ll break this spell
That you’ve put on me
Ever so easily
I won’t treat tu well
After all it’s me
That you’ve messed up completely
I’ll make tu pay hell
If that’s what will set me free
If it’ll set me free
I feel like I have always known you
We’ve always been so close but
tu look away
tu tell me that tu amor me
But your eyes say something else
It shouldn’t be so difficult for me
To turn away
Chorus:
Every time we talk at night
Every time tu make me feel alright
When tu say goodbye
tu say you’ll think of me all the time
I know it’s a lie
And I’m slowly breaking
I’m slowly breaking
Somehow tu just cannot see
The way I smile when tu look at me
Are tu completely blind?
Cuz’ I’ve dado tu all the signs
That I amor tu
Chorus:
And now I’m falling apart
You’ve gone from my life
I can’t take it anymore
My new best friend is a knife
What tu were to me
Made me complete