10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen
10. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when tu want to have them, what genders tu want them to be, etc.
8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
7. Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse. Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor. Dreamy”
6. Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher o pedophile.
5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with leche and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramelo milkshake.
4. Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s camisa, camiseta collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.
3. Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.
2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.
And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?
1. Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.
10. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when tu want to have them, what genders tu want them to be, etc.
8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
7. Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse. Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor. Dreamy”
6. Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher o pedophile.
5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with leche and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramelo milkshake.
4. Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s camisa, camiseta collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.
3. Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.
2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.
And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?
1. Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.
I'm escritura to introduce tu to Kamakan The Vampire Slug. Its my kids book and live stage show.
Kamakan is a particularly evil monster who kidnaps two children and takes them to his lair at the bottom of a huge hole in Peru. The story follows the kids as they try to escape.
Its written in rhyme and is very original, funny and popular with everyone who reads it.
There's a cool website at www.kamakan.co.uk and a clip of the mostrar on tu Tube if tu buscar Kamakan The Vampire Slug Live.
I hope tu can take a look and let me know what tu think. Its becoming quite successful now and I hope it will become well know worldwide soon.
All the best!
Huw
The Author
1. dress as campanita and run through the house saying hes a pixie like alice
2. pretend hes a striper and strip for edward on hes piano
3. take alices porche for a joy ride
4.go to school and yell that jasper thinks he is his boyfriend
5. emmett is never allowed to run through the hospital yelling DADDY!
6. emmett is never allowed to tell alice rosado, rosa is not her color
7. emmett is never allowed to drive a school bus
8. o drive the bus into a lake
9. emmett is never allowed to tell esma that he will go find a new "fake" mom
10. emmett is never allowed to tell jasper texans are hicks
thanks for lectura my articulo please leave an comentario
1. tu wake up in the middle of the night to find him climbing through your window to watch tu sleep.
2. He hates your dog, and all perros for that matter.
3. He looks at tu like you're somethig to eat.
4. He frequently tells tu how nice tu smell.
5. His parents mysteriously let him ditch school on sunny days just to go CAMPING!
6. He stops a camioneta, van from almost crushing tu to death with his oso, oso de hands.
7. He can bounce frutas from his feet like a soccer ball (apples are his specialty).
8. He calls tu araña monkey and runs around with tu on his back.
9. He seems to know what everyone is thinking.
10. He claims the reason his eyes change color is because of "the fluorescence".
2. He hates your dog, and all perros for that matter.
3. He looks at tu like you're somethig to eat.
4. He frequently tells tu how nice tu smell.
5. His parents mysteriously let him ditch school on sunny days just to go CAMPING!
6. He stops a camioneta, van from almost crushing tu to death with his oso, oso de hands.
7. He can bounce frutas from his feet like a soccer ball (apples are his specialty).
8. He calls tu araña monkey and runs around with tu on his back.
9. He seems to know what everyone is thinking.
10. He claims the reason his eyes change color is because of "the fluorescence".