Serie Crepúsculo Article: Funny Twilight Quotes! :D

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posted by Renesmee_08

1) I was pale before Twilight made it cool.

2) I drive like a Cullen.

3) Jacob could BEAST f*ck me ANYTIME!!!

4) Looks at Edward...Damn he's hot, Jacob walks up...Edward who?

5) Does someone need a Jasper hug?

6) When Emmett Cullen does pushups, he doesn't push himself up; he pushes the ground down.

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Blondes may have más fun, but Edward prefers Brunettes.

8) "You're pale white...and ice cold...I know what tu are" "Say it... Out loud." "A SNOWMAN!"

9) Having a pulse? ... So overrated.

10) "Are tu afraid?" "No." "Then let's dance!"

11) Emmett: I have to get inicial for the game. Alice: They lose. Emmett: F*** tu Alice! F*** YOU!

12) This may hurt just a little. *Jane squeezes Bella's wrist.*

13) "And so the hienna fell in amor with the pop tart."

14) Edward makes Peeping Toms sexy.

15) Dear Jacob: I win. Sincerely, Edward.

16) Note to everyone: go to Alice's parties o she will kidnapp tu and force tu to go!

17) Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body ANYDAY!

18) Do that again, and I will so give tu a papercut in front of Jasper.

19) It’s all fun and games until someone gets a papercut!

20) Give blood- fecha a Cullen.

21) Forks: where sparkly men tell tu that tu smell delicious.

22) It’s thundery, which can only mean one thing. Speed dial my hunting team! We’re searching every field in a five mile radius!

23) If an manzana, apple a día keeps the doctor away....SCREW APPLES! I WANNA SEE DR.CULLEN!

24) tu don’t like Twilight? That’s okay. It’s ok if I stick your head in a blender as well, right?

25) I’m sorry, did tu say something? It didn’t sound Twilight related, so I wasn’t paying attention.

26) Well they do say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and perros are mans’ best friend!

27) My room is Edward-proof. Freshly greased window so it won’t stick, brand new pillows and high central heating. I even have that rocking chair he loves...

28) Who needs a boyfriend? We have Twilight.

29) I so don’t understand this whole ‘Edward o Jacob. Who’s hotter?’ thing. I mean we all know the real pregunta is Jasper o Emmett. Who’s colder and sexier?

30) rosas are red. Violets are blue. I amor Twilight. So should you.

31) Screw Santa, I want Edward Cullen to come down my chimney!

32) Eat->Sleep->Read Twilight->Watch Twilight->Repeat.

33)I wonder if Edward and his family knew when Bella was on her period? Hmm... pretty embarrassing...

34) Some find Edward Cullen romantic. However, if he looked his actual age, would tu think it romantic for an old, haggard, 110 año old man to be sneaking into an 18 año old girl's room to watch her sleep?

35) I can live without food, but I can’t do without my daily dose of Twilight.

36) Who needs a life? I have Twilight.

37) I'm not sleeping till I get a piggy back from Emmett!

38) Loreal Jasper- Because you're worth it

39) When Life Gives tu Lemons, THROW THEM BACK AND DEMAND FOR EDWARD CULLEN!!!

40) If i get sick take me to Dr Cullen

41) Edward Cullen: The Other White Meat

42) Keep Calm and amor Twilight

43) Oh Hale No!

44) I didn't get my letter to Hogwarts, so I'm moving to Forks instead.

45) Forget a knight in shining armor, I want a vampire in shiny Volvo!

46) Team Edward, except when Jacob is shirtless...

47) Unconditionally and irrevocably Twilight obsessed.

mr-cullen, BloodyObsession and 1 other like this

Elle-C This was truly hilarious -- thanks for posting!

MATH VS. VAMPIRES: vampiros LOSE

posted by milicac

If vampires—corpses that rise up to suck the blood of the living—sound biologically implausible to you, you’re not alone. They exist purely in legend, as virtually all scientists agree.

But for any vampire believers undissuaded por biological facts, a professor has come up with a second proof of their unreality, using math.

If vampiros ever existed in the forms in which cine and libros portray them, they would have quickly wiped out humanity long ago, according to physics professor Costas Efthimiou of the universidad of Central Florida in Orlando, Fla.
Popular lore passed down through...

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Edward and Bella's honeymoon. Edward's POV chapter 7

posted by halunik

!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!! ONLY FOR ADULTS!!!!!!

Hello friends. Thank tu for your support.
And hope, that you'll like the other chapter.

Sorry for not posting for so long. I was totally busy.

I heard her breathing accelerated. in a segundo I was beside her. I smelled sweat. Here was too hot for her. I lied down and pressed her to me. She opened her eyes for a segundo and closed them with a slight smile.
The night was close to the end. I heard the birds started singing, the whole nature waking up. The sky became lighter before the dawn. My anger was worn up and I felt empty. I wanted to give Bella everything,...

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The Memoir of a Wolf's Daughter Chap 5

posted by NeeNee14

I walked into a room with a bunch thirteen and fourteen año olds. They sat down on the floor. Justin and I introduced ourselves as Ms.T and Mr.J. We taught them some basics and and played some games.
"Okay everyone, have a seat." I waited for them to sit down and be quiet." At the end of this camp, we will hold a showcase, so tu can mostrar what tu learned; tu can do it individually o in a group of four." I said.
"And the thing about Krumping is that tu can add your own twist once tu know the basics, Like Ms.T used to do Ballet, so sometimes, tu may see her doing Ballet tricks." he said....

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emmett cullen amor story chapter 1

posted by karpach_13

Emmett amor story chapter 1
You have lived with the Cullens because your parents were killed in a car accident when tu were about 2. tu were adopted por Carlisle and Esme. So tu have known about their secret. tu were closest to Edward and Alice than Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. When tu started high school tu guys moved to Forks, Washington. tu grabbed the last bag out of the moving camioneta, van and went up the stairs and tu tripped on a rock. tu heard a roar of laughter.
You: Emmett tu are such a pathetic guy.
Emmett: Oh really? Look at who is on the ground.
Edward: Here I will help tu up.
Edward...

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Changed Plans (Bella's Pov) Chapter 7

posted by rubytuesday101

I sat down on the sofa and so did edward,He sat down right beside me.After a while i drifted off to sleep,i dont know when i woke up but it was really dark.Then i noticed my head was on edward's shoulder,when i was asleep i must have leaned on him.I looked at edward he seemed comfortable and happy really happy,i took my head off edwards shoulder and looked at him.
"Your awake"he dicho smiling that dazzleing smile,he had dazzled me one again.
"Ya,i was really tired sorry"i dicho getting akeward.
"Its okay i didnt mind"he dicho smiling even wider.
"Of corse tu didnt"i dicho and he laughed a bit i looked...

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New Moon - Chapter 3 - The End (pages 53-55)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

NEW MOON - chapter 3 - THE END

I felt absolutely hideous in the morning. I hadn’t slept well; my arm burned and my head ached. It didn’t help me outlook that Edward’s face was smooth and remote as he kissed my forehead quickly and ducked out my window. I was afraid of the time I’d spent unconscious, afraid that he might have been thinking about right and wrong again while he watched me sleep. The anxiety seemed to ratchet up the intensity of the pounding in my head.
Edward was waiting for me at school, as usual, but his face was still wrong. There was something buried...

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~Ever After 6~

posted by LexisFaith

Sorry if it's a bit long :/ I get carried away lol
Hope tu LOVE!!!
__________________________________________________
"Wait." Alice stood perfectly still, "He told her?" She pointed to the baby.
"That's what she said." Jake stood frozen. Almost as still as Alice.
"You think she could have gotten some kind of. . . power?" I asked Alice. "Even though she's human?"
She shrugged, her brows furrowed in conentration. "Maybe. I'm not sure. Maybe tu should talk to Carlisle."
"Yea," I agreed. "We will when we get back. I'm starved."
Jacob finally thawed out and turned to me. "Me, too." He took my hand and...

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Why the Twilight saga should be watched at home, alone.

posted by robin931009

As I removed the New moon-disc from my dvd-player, I thought to myself: Maybe I shouldn't see Eclipse in theaters?

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely amor Twilight and want to see Eclipse as soon as possible. The thing is, when I was first introduced to the series, it was through the first film. I had rented it and didn't know what it was. I sat alone in my room with a glass of coca cola and watched it late at night. I was instantly hooked. I couldn't get over how incredibly interesting it all was; the story, the characters and above all the libros i hadn't yet read. I quickly hurried to my computer...

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Blackout!!! Part 5

posted by smileyfaceddude

Cynddylan

I tried to numb the pain for Bella with my gift, tried to influence her to not feel the pain. I was doing anything and everything I could to help try and save my life. “Son, I think he’s genuinely innocent. Would tu at least try for Bella?” The blonde vampire named Carlisle convinced hypnotically. Edward just stared at him and then at the delirious Bella and then at Carlisle again. He frowned at him in a God-I-wish-you-hadn’t-said-that way. He concentrated for a minute. “JACOB! Put him down!” Edward told the savage which was trying to suffocate me, he obeyed reluctantly,...

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breaking dawn book 2 chapter 8 edward pov

posted by xroylex

me and jacob stood staring at each other for a while ontil alice flittered from the house to the purch after staring at jacob she darted to jaspers side. rose must be with bella garding her and as jacobs thoughts went i agreeed from the wrong dangers.
"this isnt the first time i have owed tu my gratitude jacob i would never of asked this from you" i told him.
he thought about it for a while and then `yeah tu would` hmm.. maybe that was true i would do anything to save bella from anything encluding what i myself have done to her.
"i suppose your right about that" i let him have that one.
he...

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True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Five)

posted by moolah

Bella tells Edward Alice is babysitting him;While Bella get ready for his suprise!

Alice’s P.O.V:
It felt great that me and Bella made up a little. But as Bella says, ‘We still have to deal with the bitch.’
When Chief cisne picked us up we crowded into the back of the cruiser, “Thanks dad.” “You girls are welcome.” I was nervous to be seen with Bella and have to fakely argue with her but so far we were doing okay. I guess.
When we got to Bella’s house Bella dragged me into her bedroom. When we got into her room we saw Edward. He was sprawled across her cama engaged in a book. When Bella walked in he shot up, and looked over at me. “Alice,” he started. “Edward…”...

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Not Possible (Bella's pov) Chapter 2

posted by rubytuesday101

"Why are tu leaving?" i asked him "I just have to go"he dicho back to me."You cant leave me"i cried back to him "Bella i dont want you".It was like he had slapped me in the face."You.Dont.Love.Me","No"was all he said.His voice sounded hard and cold."What was last night then?"he didnt say anything he just turned his head away from me so i couldnt see his face.Then i realized what happened,i was nothing i was a girl that was not scared of him.So he took his chance,i was used.That thought made me fall and i landed on my butt,he used me he was lying all this time and last night.Something twisted...

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Jacob's one true amor

posted by shingkai

Today is my daughter’s wedding day; she finally decided to marry the werewolf we all love.

Renesmee’s wedding will be held at the reservation and everyone was worried, at first Rosalie, emmet and jasper strongly disagree to what Renesmee was planning but Edward and Seth reassure them that everything is going to be fine so we reluctantly consider.

I know I should be happy but I don’t understand why I am feeling so sad, maybe because I miss my Jacob. I never told Renesmee about the werewolf I used to love, I thought it’s no longer important but she has the right to know after all I have...

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Life after death chapter 1

posted by KatiiCullen94

"Mummy?" I turned towards Renesmee, whose dress was now covered in dirt, oh jacob!! i wasn't going to be the one to do the washing now...
Her arms streched towards me , clutching her hands.
i opened my arms wide, she sped straight in my chest..
her warm hands brusedh my face, she always has something to show.
"Nessie! DONT tu EVER DO THAT TO A WEREWOLF, ITS DANGEROUS! PAUL COULD'VE KILLED YOU! i really doubt tu want me to kill my brother"

Jacob had never raised his voice to Renesmee ever. I saw a tear roll from her pearl crimson eyes.
" i smelll something human mum?" she inhaled.
i took in,...

My Moon, My Man. Chapter 5

posted by AnonymousXXX

I hope tu enjoy! I been feeling down latly... comentario and talk to me bout what tu think of my chapters. I'd amor to hear your thoughts.

As I woke up in cama I replayed imágenes of last night. As I did I realized I loved being with Ethan and that scared me más than anything. Seeing as it had only been a day. How do tu amor being around a person so quickly? How do tu like someone so much in just one day? It was insane but true. So did that make me insane?
My thoughts were quickly interrupted por my sister. She came bursting through the door and jumped on my bed.
“Ok so about yesterday… Forgive...

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Concerning Stephenie Meyer's New Book: An Eclipse Spin-off- The Short segundo Life of Bree Tanner

posted by mandapanda

I'm sure most of tu have heard, Stephenie Meyer is publishing a new book, o as she says, novella. tu guys are probably asking yourselves why I would want to write an articulo about this and share the same information. However, the news has caused so much of a hype, not everyone is lectura what Stephenie Meyer had dicho and the complaints from alot of fans encouraged me to write this articulo and I would like to address some of those issues. So, another semi-rant. Haha

Since 2008, us Twilight fans thought the door to the Twilight world would be sealed, o at least be shut for a very long time,...

New Moon and a muse song are strikingly similar

posted by Thoughts_Galore

So I was listening to the song "Time is Running Out" por muse and really paying attention to the lyrics. I noticed some striking resemblances to this song and New Moon. Listen to this song if you've seen the movie New Moon and/or have read the book. The song came out before the book, so I know muse didn't steal it from Stephenie Meyer. And one of Stephenie Meyer's favourite bands in Muse. Just look at the lyrics for yourself and read my breakdown:

I think I'm drowning - Could be when Bella literally drowns o when she was without Edward
Asphyxiated - She felt like she was dying without Edward
I...

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Robert Pattinson fears life after 'Twilight'

posted by Hellohoudini

Robert Pattinson fears life after 'Twilight'

(AP Source: AP Tue Mar 02, 2010, 11:57 am

NEW YORK - With his tousled, seemingly unwashed locks, and rumpled, just-rolled-out-of-bed undershirt and jeans, Robert Pattinson seems laid-back and carefree.

But the 23-year-old heartthrob, who attracts throngs of screaming fans wherever he goes, has a lot on his mind these days -- not the least of which is what will happen when the "Robsession" ends.

"If it suddenly dies down and suddenly no one is interested ... yeah, it is worrying," he says. "It's scary to think that it all might just fundamentally...

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Rob Pattinson Dating Kristen Stewart Claim Is A Lie

posted by Alice_Cullen_

Of course the newest rumor has been via The Sun which stated that Robert Pattinson told them, a tabloid, about his personal life especially supposedly revealing that Robert and Kristen were indeed dating. However, this is a false interview. GossipCop did the dirty work for all the sites that were stating it as fact:

Gossip Cop has spent hours reaching out to everyone to verify the Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart shocker heard ’round the world.

Initially, we were told the interview was “a fake.”

We then contacted many, many más individuals, including the autor of the explosive interview...

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Twilight - Chapter 14 - Mind Over Matter (pages 292-296)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

TWILIGHT - chapter 14 - MIND OVER MATTER

He reached for the door ahead of me and opened it for me. I paused halfway through the frame.
"The door was unlocked?"
"No, I used the key from under the eave."
I stepped inside, flicked on the porch light, and turned to look at him with my eyebrows raised. I was sure I'd never used that key in front of him.
"I was curious about you."
"You spied on me?" But somehow I couldn't infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered.
He was unrepentant. "What else is there to do at night?"
I let it go for the moment and went down the...