Emma: I'm gonna be deputy.
Law: Qualifications?
Emma: uhm
Law: tu need to have worked as police officer on patrol for at least 12 months before tu can become deputy.
Emma: ahahaha, tu so funny!
Charming: I'm going to be sheriff for as long as Emma is gone.
Law: No, you're not.
Charming: Watch me,
Charming: And I'm going to wear a weapon.
Snow: Because the funda looks hot on him.
Law: I'm pretty sure that's illegal....
Charming: ahahaha tu so funny.
Emma: Henry is my son.
Law: Actually....
Emma: I'm taking him out of the state without the consent of his legal parents, cool?
Law: They're going to ask for a passport and written consent. tu know that's kidnapping, right?
Emma: ahahaha, because I call him "kid", yea?
Law: What the fuck is wrong with you?
George: I'm killing this person to frame someone. That's cool, right?
Law: Actually, that's murder and it's not cool.
George: Oops, well, too late. But he was a minor character so it doesn't really matter.
Law: Wait a minute!
Archie: I revealed the identity of a patient and told someone why they're seeking therapy.
Law: I don't even have time for you! Who enforces me in Storybrooke?
Emma: I do!
Charming: I do!
Law: ....
Regina: I just want my son back.
Law: Feel free to confuse vengeance with justice. Oh, and while you're at it: That douchebag is not allowed to carry a gun, so if tu attack him, I'll make sure to make it look like self-defense.
Law: And call the New York police to get Emma and Rumpel arrested.
Law: Because tu can.