It was a beautiful día in Equestria. arco iris Dash, Applejack, and Rarity were sitting at a restaurant having lunch.

Applejack: Well, thanks tu two for helping out at my farm.
arco iris Dash: No problem.
Rarity: There was no problem for me either, except for...
Applejack: Yes?
Rarity: Dirt.
arco iris Dash: That's nothing to worry about. Besides, if tu get it on you, tu can just wash it off.
Applejack: I'm surprised tu didn't wear that farming outfit tu made when Trenderhoof was visiting.
Rarity: Oh yeah, about that...

Yesterday at Carousel Botique

Sweetie Belle: *Wearing Rarity's farming outfit* Howdy y'all. I'm Rarity, and I'm gonna pretend to be a farmer just to impress this stallion!
Applebloom & Scootaloo: *Laughing*
Sweetie Belle: tu know, it's actually not easy to see in this thing. I got a better idea. Let's modify it so that it will fit us!

Back at the lunch.

Rarity: And while they were making it shorter, Sweetie Belle somehow ended up setting it on fire.
Applejack: How is that possible?
arco iris Dash: Fireplace?
Rarity: Fireplace.
Gilda: *Arrives* hola arco iris Crash. Still hanging out with these lame ponies?
arco iris Dash: They're not lame! They're my friends.
Rarity: And her name is arco iris Dash.
Gilda: Whatever. I estola $1,000,000 from this rich stallion in Vanhoover, and got this awesome gem. The owner dicho it had some power, but I don't know what it does. Shall I try it out on you?
arco iris Dash: No.
Gilda: Fine. I'll try it out on the three of tu then. *Uses magic gem*

The gem teleported them into a grassy field. Nothing could be seen except for a faraway mountain, and some trees.

Gilda: Wait a minute.
Applejack: What the hay? *Looking around* Where are we?
Gilda: I don't know. This thing just ended up-

All of a sudden, a message started appearing into the ground.

The user of this gem has challenged tu to a war. If tu defeat the user, tu may go home.

Gilda: Oh, so that's what it does.
Rarity: tu never knew that until now?
Gilda: Well, the owner barely told me anything about the gem!

Two days ago.

Store owner: Remember, this gem can teleport you, and your enemies to any part of the past. The winner gets to go back into the present, but they have to kill their enemies first.

Now Gilda remembered.

Gilda: Oh. Looks like I remember now. We have to fight each other.
arco iris Dash: Fine with me.
British Soldiers: *Arrive* Halt. What are tu four doing here?
Gilda: Umm....
British Soldier: tu four are underarrest.

Theme song: link

So the four of them got arrested, and were on a ship in sea.

Gilda: Where are we going?
British Soldier: To the United States of Equestria.
Applejack: What año is this?
British Soldier: 1745.
Rarity: tu know what this means?
arco iris Dash: We're in medieval times.

STH Productions Presents

Just Be Me

Episode 1: The Three Maresketeers

Based off of the video por AgrolChannel on youtube.

Starring

arco iris Dash
aguardiente de manzana, applejack
and Rarity

Also starring

The ponies

Princess Celestia
Lord Burlington
Arhcer
Silver
Kan Can
Jerry
Pete
Applebloom
Sweetie Belle
Scootaloo

Also starring the Griffons

Gilda
Max
Tomtom
Porter
Lucifer
McKing
And Mike

And stop the music.

Applejack, Gilda, arco iris Dash, and Rarity were brought into the docks of Ponyville on the ship they were put on.

British Soldier: Now don't come back to our country ever again tu Equestrian scum.
Rarity: But I'm British too!
British Soldier: *Ignores Rarity* Let's go captain. We got everything we need.
British Captain: *Driving ship out of docks*
Jerry: *Sees Gilda* Griffon!!
Gilda: *Flies away*
Celestia's Soldiers: *Running towards Jerry*
Jerry: She's getting away.
arco iris Dash: What's going on?
Jerry: tu didn't hear? The griffons have waged war against us ponies. Their kingdom is near ours, and we cannot allow them to take any peice of our territory.
Applejack: What happens if they do?
Jerry: We kill them.
Rarity: Nngh. Isn't there a peaceful way to settle this?
Applejack: *Slaps Rarity* No! We have to kill them.
Jerry: *Looking at Applejack* I like your style, but tu ladies are not allowed to fight.
arco iris Dash, Applejack: What?!!?
Rarity: Well, I wouldn't want to fight anyway.
Applejack: Are tu saying that we're not allowed to fight due to our gender?!
arco iris Dash: I've dealt with many stereotypical situations, but this is crazy!
Jerry: I don't make the rules ma'am, tu have to talk to Princess Celestia about this.
Applejack: Princess Celestia?
Rarity: She banished Princess Luna 800 years ago.
arco iris Dash: Oh, right. Take us to her please.
Jerry: If tu insist.

So Jerry, and a few other soldiers took them to Celestia's castillo in Canterlot.

Celestia: How dare those griffons attempt to attack us. They will realize their clumsy decision will give them nothing, but pain.
Soldier 24: Right-o your highness.
Jerry: *Arrives* Princess, visitors.
Celestia: What do they want to talk about?
arco iris Dash: Hi Celestia.
Celestia: Who are you?
arco iris Dash: tu mean tu don't remember?
Applejack: Take it easy Dash. I'm Applejack, this is arco iris Dash, and the white unicorn is Rarity.
Celestia: What do tu want to talk about?
arco iris Dash: Why can't mares fight? You're a princess, tu should be giving us equal rights.
Celestia: It is not my decision on who gets to fight, o not. tu must talk to Lord Burlington.
Applejack: Jerry dicho we had to talk to you.
Jerry: Uh.. I forgot?
Celestia: Take them to Lord Burlington.
Jerry: Yes your highness.
Rarity: Lord Burlington?
arco iris Dash: I wonder what he's like.

They were soon about to find out.

Lord Burlington: *Sitting in big red chair* What do those griffons have planned?
Pete: We don't know. They could do anything.
Lord Burlington: Then we must warn everypony immediately. If those griffons try to-
Jerry: *Enters room* Sir, three ponies want to talk to you.
Lord Burlington: What do tu want?
arco iris Dash: The three of us want to fight in this war.
Lord Burlington: tu three? *Laughing* This is an outrage. No mare is capable of fighting.
Rarity: He's right, so why don't we go home?
Lord Burlington: Yes. Go home, and get back to working where tu belong.
Applejack: Oh yeah? *Grabs axe, and throws it at Lord Burlington*
Lord Burlington: *Ducks, and doesn't get hit from axe. He then sees that it has stuck to his chair* Okay, you're in.

In the Griffon Kingdom, Gilda was meeting other griffons in her army.

Gilda: *Walks into castle* Hello?
Tomtom: Another griffon has arrived sir.
McKing: Ah, hello madam. What can I do for you?
Gilda: I need to registrarse your army in order to defeat the ponies.
McKing: Well, I don't think that's possible. tu see-
Gilda: *Choking McKing* Let me join, o else.
McKing: *Coughing* Okay.
Gilda: That's más like it.
McKing: Meet some of my trusted soldiers. Over there is Tomtom.
Tomtom: Hi!
McKing: Over here is Max.
Max: Good día to tu ma'am.
McKing: Porter.
Porter: Hello.
Gilda: Aren't tu a little too fat to be in an army?
Porter: No, that's just so that it'll be difficult for any arrows to kill me. My stomach is so big, that it just reflects every arrow shot towards me.
Gilda: I don't believe you.
Porter: Fine. *Stands up against wall*
Tomtom: *Gives Gilda a bow & arrow*
Porter: Now shoot my stomach.
Gilda: If tu say so. *Shoots arrow*

The arrow bounced right off of Porter's stomach.

Porter: Need I say more?
Gilda: No. You've convinced me.
McKing: Now if you're done shooting arrows at Porter's stomach, there are two others I want tu to meet. Lucifer, who is an expert on cannons.
Lucifer: Right-o. If tu need to know anything about a cannon, ask me.
Gilda: Sure.
McKing: And last, but not least is Mike.
Mike: Hey!
Gilda: Nice to meet you.
Mike: *Holding a toy tommy gun* I'm going to kill you.
McKing: Mike, how many times do I have to tell you, that thing will never work. Nopony would ever want this so called weapon.
Mike: Maybe not now, but they will within two hundred years from now.
McKing: Anything tu say Mike.

After arco iris Dash, Applejack, and Rarity joined Lord Burlington's army, they went to meet other soldiers.

Lord Burlington: What are tu going to do when we start attacking.
arco iris Dash: Just being me.
Applejack: Yup. Same here.
Rarity: Me too.
Lord Burlington: What's that supposed to mean?
arco iris Dash: You'll see when we start fighting.
Lord Burlington: Something tells me I don't want to see.
Applejack: We promise, having us in your army will be the greatest decision tu ever made.
Lord Burlington: Why do I find that hard to believe. Well, here's a few of our soldiers tu haven't met. Archer here is very skilled with a bow & arrow.
Archer: Nice to meet tu three. I hope tu don't plan on joining us anytime soon.
Lord Burlington: Easy Lieutenant. tu won't be happy with what the naranja one plans on doing to tu if tu keep criticizing them about being here to help us stop those griffons.
Archer: Sorry sir. Anyway, my name is Archer. If tu want to know anything about using a bow & arrow, come to me.
arco iris Dash: Sure. *Sees golden arrows* That looks awesome.
Archer: tu like that? I'll make some for tu if you'd like.
arco iris Dash: Yeah.
Applejack: *Sees Archer's eyes* How did your eyes become like that?
Archer: Long story, but to make it short, I killed a changeling when it bit my leg.
Lord Burlington: Okay ladies, follow me this way.
arco iris Dash, Applejack, and Rarity: *Following Lord Burlington*
Lord Burlington: We have another expert named Silver. He's an expert on armor.
Rarity: *Giggling*
Lord Burlington: What's so funny?
Rarity: I have a friend who has a brother named Shining Armor.
Lord Burlington: That sounds like a stupid name. Hopefully, he doesn't get married to a princess.
Silver: *Walks over* The expert on armor that the lord was talking about is me.
Rarity: *Falling in amor with Silver*
Applejack: Uh oh.
arco iris Dash: tu remember what happened last time Rarity fell in amor with a stallion?
Applejack: Ngh. Don't remind me. She did the same thing to Big Macintosh.
arco iris Dash: Ew.
Rarity: I heard tu two!
Lord Burlington: Ladies, follow me.

The four of them went to see the expert on cannons, Kan Can.

Lord Burlington: Kan Can, stop working on that blasted weapon, and come to me.
Kan Can: *Under a cannon* Sorry sir, unfortunately, I got something in my eyes while working on this thing, and I can't see.
Lord Burlington: Just follow my voice.
Kan Can: Okay. *Bangs head on cannon*
Lord Burlington: You'll have to excuse him. He's a little... Clumsy.
arco iris Dash: And tu thought we wouldn't be good soldiers.
Applejack: *Notices that Kan Can has no tail* I don't trust him.
Rarity: Whyever not?
Applejack: He has no tail. Never trus-
arco iris Dash: *Covers Applejack's mouth* Okay, remember what happened last time tu dicho that?
Applejack: I lost my tail, and everypony made fun of me. Nopony ever lets me forget that.
Lord Burlington: And that's it. Welcome, and I hope tu three enjoy working in my army.

But Rarity was still annoyed about arco iris Dash, and aguardiente de manzana, applejack with talking about her behind her back. She had plans to find out why they did so.

That night, while everypony was asleep, Rarity was thinking about how to find out why arco iris Dash, and aguardiente de manzana, applejack were talking about her behind her back.

Rarity: Hmm, I can't think of anything. They just talked about me falling in amor with Sliver, and probably... doing Rule 34 related stuff to him, but I don't care, that's just me. Wait a minute, I got it! They think I'm a Rule 34 addict, and that's why they were talking behind my back. *Goes out of her room to find arco iris Dash, and Applejack*

siguiente morning, Princess Celestia was having breakfast, when Lord Burlington arrived.

Lord Burlington: Princess, those three mares are not here.
Celestia: What do tu mean?
Lord Burlington: They left! I knew they weren't good enough to be in this army.
Celestia: Perhaps they left to get más supplies.

But they didn't. While arco iris Dash, and aguardiente de manzana, applejack were sleeping, Rarity kidnapped them, and put them in a nearby tower.

arco iris Dash: *Wakes up* I'm feeling happy today, and- *Notices she's in a bag with Applejack* AJ? Wake up!
Applejack: *Wakes up* Is it time to collect apples? I'm on it Big Mac.
arco iris Dash: No! It's me arco iris Dash. We're stuck together in a bag, and I don't know why.
Applejack: *Realizes she is in a terrible situation* Why are we in a bag?
Rarity: Because I put tu in there.
arco iris Dash: Why?
Rarity: Because tu dicho bad things about me behind my back. What were they?
Applejack: It was nothing.
arco iris Dash: We were just talking about how tu were going to mas-
Applejack: *Slaps arco iris Dash* Not here. We'll get punished for saying things like that.
arco iris Dash: Then let's get out of here.
Applejack: But we have to kill Gilda first.
arco iris Dash: Why don't we kill Rarity first?
Applejack: Well. Now that tu think about it...
Rarity: oh no.
Applejack: She did tie us up into this bag for no reason, so let's kill her.
Rarity: No! *Teleports from tower to ground*

The other two ponies got out of the bag, and looked for Rarity.

arco iris Dash: She's gone.
Applejack: It's all your fault!
arco iris Dash: My fault? I was literally the only one trying to get us out!
Applejack: I helped!
arco iris Dash: Barely! *Flies out of tower, and goes to another tower*
Rarity: arco iris Dash, what are tu doing?
Applejack: *Shoots arrow at arco iris Dash*

The arrow hit the wall, and was stuck between two bricks.

arco iris Dash: Nice try Applejackass! *Shoots cañón at Applejack*
Applejack: *Ducks* tu missed!
Rarity: I must stop them. *Sees another tower, then runs into it* I must stop them before they kill each other.

arco iris Dash, and aguardiente de manzana, applejack were now shooting flaming arrows at each other.

arco iris Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming arrow at the same time*
arco iris Dash: Stop making your arrow hit my arrow!
Applejack: I will when tu stop!
arco iris Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming arrow at the same time*
Rarity: *Gets to the parte superior, arriba of her tower, and sees fight* They're not even hitting each other. *Grabs cannon*
arco iris Dash: Hey, Rarity's pointing a cañón at us!
Applejack: Us? She's pointing it at me! *Shoots flaming arrow at Rarity*
Rarity: *Uses magic to get rid of flames on arrow, and turns the arrow into a shiny fork* A few more, and then I can have a lovely dinner.
arco iris Dash: *Shoots flaming arrow at Rarity*
Rarity: *Uses magic to get rid of flames on arrow, and turns the arrow into a shiny spoon* One más arrow please. I insist!
arco iris Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming arrow at Rarity at the same time*
Rarity: *Stops both arrows, and turns both of them into a shiny plate* Are tu finished?

And so, they stopped fighting, and walked back to Celestia's castle.

After arco iris Dash, Applejack, and Rarity fought each other, they went back to Celestia's castle.

Celestia: What happened?
Lord Burlington: Where did tu three go?
arco iris Dash: Rarity kidnapped us for no reason.
Rarity: My reason, was because tu were talking about me behind my back.
Applejack: That's a dumb reason.
Lord Burlington: I agree with the naranja one.
Rarity: Why? Doesn't anyone agree with me?
Applejack: tu planned on doing something horrible to Silver.
Lord Burlington: What did she have planned?
Rarity: Nothing.
arco iris Dash: Oh tu had something planned alright. What was it?
Rarity: Nnnnhhhh. Something related to innapropriate material that isn't allowed to be mentioned, but is being mentioned anyway, because I'm a Sex Addict!

Celestia, and Lord Burlington's mouth dropped open, and fell on the floor.

Rarity: Oh shit.
Celestia: She's a sex addict?
arco iris Dash: We prefer the term rule 34. Now, let us talk to Rarity alone.
Celestia, & Lord Burlington: *Leaving the room*
Applejack: Okay, they're gone.
arco iris Dash: What the fuck were tu thinking?
Rarity: I was nervous!
Applejack: Don't tu realize that they could execute tu for being addicted to sex?
Rarity: No. *Thinking* Oh, right. We're in mideival times.
arco iris Dash: And we're stuck in mideival times, until we kill Gilda. Now, we can't do that if tu get us executed for being a rule 34 addict.
Rarity: I'm the one being executed, not you.
Applejack: Let's just get this over with.
Celestia: *Returns* I heard the entire conversation.
arco iris Dash: tu did?
Applejack: But tu were-
Celestia: In another room with Lord Burlington, yes I know. So you're from the future, and can't get back there until tu kill this griffon named Gilda. Is that correct?
arco iris Dash: Yeah.
Celestia: Then I will explain everything to Lord Burlington, and the both of us will help.
Rarity: Thank you.
Celestia: No problem.

Things seemed to be getting easier for Applejack, arco iris Dash, and Rarity. But the fight was about to start soon.

Everypony at Celestia's castillo was ready for the fight, as the Griffons were getting close to attacking them.

Lord Burlington: Get the cannons ready!
Celestia: Get the cannons ready.
Kan Can: Get the cannons ready. *Getting cañón ready, but accidentally falls off of the castle*
Lord Burlington: Anymore clumsy ponies like him, and we'll never win.
arco iris Dash: At least tu got us.
Lord Burlington: Yeah. What was it tu three dicho tu were going to do to win this war?
arco iris Dash: Just.
Applejack: Be.
Rarity: Me.
Gilda: Load up the catapults!
Griffons: *Loading up catapults*
Archer: They're cargando... the catapults sir.
Lord Burlington: fuego the cannons!
Ponies: *Shooting cannons*
Griffons: They're firing cannons at us!
Gilda: Shoot those rocks at them.
Griffons: *Shooting rocks with catapults*

Some of the rocks were hitting some of the bombs shot por cannons, and a few mid air explosions occurred.

Archer: With your permission, my archery team will take them down.
Lord Burlington: Archers, ready.
Archer, and other ponies carrying bow & arrows: *Readying bows*
Lord Burlington: Aim.
Archery Ponies: *Pulling back arrows*
Lord Burlington: Fire!
Archery Ponies: *Firing arrows at griffons*
arco iris Dash: What about us?
Lord Burlington: tu three must put on armor, get a sword, and shield.
Rarity: Are we... *Gulp* Fighting them out there?
Lord Burlington: Yes tu are Miss. I amor mas*****ting to stallions I barely know. Get out there.
Applejack: Let's do this.

So the three ponies went to get what they needed.

Griffon 4: *Gets killed por arrow*
Gilda: Use your shield tu careless saps!
Griffons: She's right. Use the shields.
Tomtom: You're a good leader.
Gilda: Yeah, I know.
McKing: Ma'am, we're getting más casualties.
Gilda: How is this possible? We should be winning.
Tomtom: Maybe, because we're outnumbered.
McKing: Hey, you're right. Where's Mike?
Lucifer: I don't see him.

Mike was at their castle, modifying his toy tommy gun.

Mike: Yes. This is good. Now I'll mostrar the others that I mean business with this. Look out everypony. *Grabs toy tommygun* I'm going to kill you.

Back at the battle.

arco iris Dash: This is gonna be so awesome.
Rarity: Awesome? We're going to die.
Applejack: No we're not. We're going to win.
arco iris Dash: Charge! *Charges towards Griffons*
aguardiente de manzana, applejack & Rarity: *Following arco iris Dash*
Gilda: There they are.
McKing: Shoot them.
Griffons: *Shooting arrows at arco iris Dash, Applejack, and Rarity* It's not working. Our arrows keep hitting their armor.
Porter: They're not even slowing down.
arco iris Dash: *Raises sword* Yeah!!
Gilda: Oh god.
arco iris Dash: *Stabs Porter's stomach*
Porter: *Feels sword hit stomach*
arco iris Dash: Wait a minute.. *Gets sent flying backwards due to the impact on Porter's stomach*
Porter: I told tu it was a good thing to be fat.
Applejack: *Cuts Porter's head off with sword*
Gilda: Yeah. *Grabs sword* tu ready to "Square dance" redneck?
Applejack: *Swings sword at Gilda*
Rarity: *Kills two griffons* I can't believe I'm doing this. It's so unladylike.
Gilda: *Continues swordfight with Applejack*
Applejack: *Kicks griffon, then jumps up in air*
Gilda: *Swings sword*
Applejack: *Blocks attack*
McKing: Tomtom, help Gilda defeat that naranja pony.
Tomtom: Yes sir.
arco iris Dash: *Returns, and kills Tomtom* Did tu miss me?
Rarity: Yes.
Applejack: Practically. *Gets kicked por Gilda*
arco iris Dash: Hey! Nopony does that to my friend!
Gilda: What are tu going to do about it?
arco iris Dash: Just be me.
Gilda: What?
arco iris Dash: *Hits Gilda with sword*
Lord Burlington: *Watching fight* This is great. Does anypony have popcorn?
Celestia: What is that?
Lord Burlington: It's... Never mind.

The fight continued, and Gilda was getting beat por arco iris Dash.

McKing: Can anypony help Gilda?
Gilda: Why can't tu help me?
McKing: Because I have to give orders to the griffons killing those ponies.
Gilda: Well hurry up so that tu can help me!
arco iris Dash: *Hits Gilda's wing*
Applejack: *Killing griffons*
Rarity: *Hiding under bridge* I shouldn't be fighting....
arco iris Dash: *Continues fighting Gilda*
Gilda: *Blocking attacks*
McKing: Max, how many soldiers do we have left?
Max: Only twelve.
McKing: Then cancelar the attack on the castle. We must help Gilda.
Applejack: *Kills McKing*
Lucifer: Our boss is dead!
Max: But he wasn't our boss. It's Gilda.
Lucifer: Oh.

The sword fight was getting intense.

arco iris Dash: *Blocking Gilda's attacks*
Applejack: Need any help RD?
arco iris Dash: No, just keep those other griffons off my back.
Applejack: tu got it. *Kills griffons*
Rarity: *Continues hiding under a bridge*
Applejack: Rarity, where are you?!
Rarity: *Stay silent*
Applejack: I think they killed her. She'll have to stay here for the rest of her life.
Rarity: *Comes out from under bridge* I'm here, don't leave without me!
Applejack: We weren't.
Gilda: *Punches arco iris Dash*
arco iris Dash: *Has her casco fall off* That can't be good.
Gilda: *Punches arco iris Dash again*
arco iris Dash: Oh! *Her nose starts to bleed*
Rarity: Leave Dashie alone!!
Applejack: Don't worry about her. She's gonna die if we don't kill the other griffons.
Rarity: Then in that case, Hya! *Using karate moves to attack griffons*
Applejack: Couldn't have dicho it better myself.
arco iris Dash: *Pushing her sword against Gilda's*
Gilda: When are tu going to give up?
arco iris Dash: I don't know what that means so I'll never do it. *Draws back sword quickly, then hits Gilda's back legs*
Gilda: Ah! *Falls on ground*
Applejack: *Kills the last griffon* Now, we need to kill Gilda.
arco iris Dash: With pleasure. *About to kill Gilda*
Gilda: *Closes her eyes*

Then, the sound of twenty bullets being shot from a tommygun could be heard.

Gilda: *Dies*
arco iris Dash: *Looks at Mike*
Mike: *Carrying toy tommygun, and looks at Gilda* I told ya I was going to kill you.
arco iris Dash: But this is 1745. pistolas aren't supposed to exist yet.
Mike: But I killed Gilda.
Applejack: But, you're on the same side as her.
Mike: So? She didn't think this invention of mine would work.
Rarity; What are tu going to call it?
Mike: Hmm, I don't know. I think I'll call it Thomas.
arco iris Dash: How about the Tommygun?
Mike: Hey, that's a brilliant idea.

Then all of a sudden, Rarity, arco iris Dash, and aguardiente de manzana, applejack started to be lifted slowly up into the air, and then they dissapeared.

Carousel Botique, August 8, 2014.

Rarity: *Appears with arco iris Dash, and Applejack*
Sweetie Belle: Rarity, where have tu three been?
Rarity: Playing with my friends.
Sweetie Belle: Oh. Applebloom, and Scootaloo went inicial already, so would tu like to play with me?
Rarity: Of course darling.
arco iris Dash: Well, I guess there's no sense in us staying here anymore.
Applejack: Nope. *Leaves Carousel Botique with arco iris Dash*

The End

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