Today, I diagnosed metastatic cancer in a new patient who had just come to see me. I had to tell this young, beautiful, vibrant woman that did not not have long to live, perhaps a few months. There was nothing I could do for her. All I could do was to tell her that I cared for her. I could mostrar her my professional “love.” My consultation reportar was faxed to the patient’s referring primary physician, and an hora later, the physician called me, in disbelief. Together on the phone, we could only share a sense of profound loss.
tu might read this and think: amor is useless in this case. amor will not cure her cancer, nor will amor protect her from the pain and suffering that is imminent. And tu would be absolutely correct. But what is the alternative to love? Is it hate? Is it apathy?
When I was younger, I used to consider that only actions and accomplishments are truly useful. tu can lista them, objectively and concretely. tu can measure productivity and compare the results to other people’s activities. But when there is no useful action, as in this case, is there nothing left but despair? When someone hurts you, is there nothing to do but retaliate? Medically, it has been shown that hate hurts tu physically just as much, if not more, than the person tu hate. Scientifically, it has been shown that despair pains tu mentally just as much, if not more, than actual bodily trauma.
So, should tu choose “love”, because it is the lesser of two evils? Well, I certainly do not think so. As I get older and accumulate más knowledge and experience, I realize más how little control I have over life in general. Maybe tu did not have a good childhood, perhaps people have done horrible things to you, natural disasters occur, and now tu are helpless.
Please realize that the only thing tu have under your control is how tu feel and how tu will react to external events. Unless tu have a psychiatric illness, tu can choose to “love” o tu can choose to “hate.” None of us lives forever. Do tu want to wait until you’re lying on your deathbed before tu think “maybe I should have been nicer to this person o to that person?” o do tu want to evaluate every día of your life whether tu have contributed in some way some amor to the world that day? I offer tu my humble opinion that “Love is THE answer – every día of the year!”
tu might read this and think: amor is useless in this case. amor will not cure her cancer, nor will amor protect her from the pain and suffering that is imminent. And tu would be absolutely correct. But what is the alternative to love? Is it hate? Is it apathy?
When I was younger, I used to consider that only actions and accomplishments are truly useful. tu can lista them, objectively and concretely. tu can measure productivity and compare the results to other people’s activities. But when there is no useful action, as in this case, is there nothing left but despair? When someone hurts you, is there nothing to do but retaliate? Medically, it has been shown that hate hurts tu physically just as much, if not more, than the person tu hate. Scientifically, it has been shown that despair pains tu mentally just as much, if not more, than actual bodily trauma.
So, should tu choose “love”, because it is the lesser of two evils? Well, I certainly do not think so. As I get older and accumulate más knowledge and experience, I realize más how little control I have over life in general. Maybe tu did not have a good childhood, perhaps people have done horrible things to you, natural disasters occur, and now tu are helpless.
Please realize that the only thing tu have under your control is how tu feel and how tu will react to external events. Unless tu have a psychiatric illness, tu can choose to “love” o tu can choose to “hate.” None of us lives forever. Do tu want to wait until you’re lying on your deathbed before tu think “maybe I should have been nicer to this person o to that person?” o do tu want to evaluate every día of your life whether tu have contributed in some way some amor to the world that day? I offer tu my humble opinion that “Love is THE answer – every día of the year!”
