THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC segundo LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying tu screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything tu are not.
amor may be beautiful, amor may be bliss,
But I only slept with tu 'cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could amor no other --
That is until I met your brother.
rosas are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the rosas are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I amor your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, tu take my breath away.
What have tu stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for tu no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
