WARNING: This post contains language that tu may find offensive. Please use your own discretion.
And, to make it clear, this is a work of fiction that follows a conversation between Summit Entertainment’s Senior Vice President for Worldwide Publicity, Vivian Mayer-Siskind, and the agent of Kristen Stewart — Ken Kaplan. It is also, partially, a parody of the infamous Christian “Batman” Bale rant on the terminator Salvation set.
SEQ 01. INT. OFFICE. A woman in a suit is gripping the phone as she paces agitatedly across the floor.
SUMMIT PUBLICITY MANAGER
Kristen has been f—ing asked the same f—ing besar pregunta a million times, and she still doesn’t have a f—ing ready answer? She’s going to be asked exactly the same f—ing pregunta throughout her whole actuación career!
She was f—ing okay with it before. She was even f—ing flirty with that ‘It’s so much better answer during the Tokyo fan Meeting.
What made it the f— different this time around with mtv Canada? Is she más f—ing conscious about besar all of a sudden? What is it, Ken? Please tell me what the f— is the matter with being asked about onscreen kissing?
Every actress in Hollywood is being asked the same f—ing pregunta for every f—ing romantic scene in every f—ing movie they make. Heck, even f—ing Julia Roberts can’t escape the question!
And, what the f— is Kristen going to do when we reach Breaking Dawn where there are f—ing lovemaking scenes? Shut the f— up? Shutting the f— up is not an option, Ken! Kristen is not f—ing Jack Nicholson who can get away with it for Chrissakes!
What the f— is the matter with her, Ken? She’s making me clean up her f—ing mess. I’m not her f—ing nanny! My people have to get in touch with mtv Canada and f—ing apologize and then offer an exclusive with Rob o something!
Good thing that Dan Levy called her a b—h because it eases the f—ing pressure a little bit. mtv Canada also has to appease us with an apology, so it f—ing levels the field a little bit.
But, Ken, this is MTV! MTV!
mtv helped out Twilight from the very start. They are a tremendous force with the Twilight mania. Remember those Twilight Tuesdays?
I would f—ing bend over backwards to accommodate them. If there’s an mtv Greenland and they want an interview, I’ll schedule it even if there’s a f—ing howling snowstorm. tu know what the f— I mean, right?
And, not just MTV, but, every f—ing program from Viacom. Kristen should have been a presenter in the upcoming Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards on 28 March, but, she has those f—ing pictures of her smoking weed. Not that anyone can f—ing prove it, but, the f—ing damage has been done.
It’s a f—ing good thing that Rob kept his head clear and he’s been invited to present. At least one of them is going to be there to f—ing represent Twilight!
Doesn’t Kristen realize that the f—ing publicity she will get from Twilight will draw fans to her indie films?!? Even her indie directors know and are f—ing grateful for it! Adventureland and The Cake Eaters are not going f—ing straight to DVD, right?
I just don’t f—ing get it, Ken. At this point in her f—ing career, her f—ing name can get indie projects off the ground because producers want her on board! Kristen doesn’t have to f—ing fight as hard for the projects that she wants! Twilight just happens to be a great f—ing deal for her!!! What the f— doesn’t she understand? What the f— doesn’t she understand, Ken?
(more quietly) Doesn’t she understand that each press group only has five minutos with her and they have to editar something interesting with those five minutes? Doesn’t she realize that these press people will always be instrumental in the success of every film she’ll ever make? It’s a synergistic relationship that needs to be cultivated.
Sure, Dan Levy was way out of line for calling her a b—h on national TV, and, he’ll be reprimanded for it, for sure; but, Ken, Kristen has to realize that these people have a job to do and she also has a job to do. Please tell her to be professional. I know she’s young, but, she just has to find a way to deal with it.
Welcome to the Rileys and The Runaways are coming up. Welcome to the Rileys will have worse preguntas because there’s nudity and seduction between an adult and a minor. With The Runaways, the press will ask about drugs, sex and rock and roll.
She has to get ready for preguntas that are far far worse than onscreen kissing. Please, she needs coaching. But I don’t want a simpering Kristen. I still want her to answer truthfully, but, with más awareness of how her presence and respuestas contribute to the en general, general success of the Twilight saga and the film industry as a whole.
She needs to grow up. And fast.
To her credit, Kristen showed great improvement at the Twilight events in Tokyo Japan. Let’s take it from there.
Thanks, Ken. And, sorry about the cussing in the beginning.
KRISTEN STEWART’S AGENT
That’s okay. I understand. Thanks for your feedback.
SUMMIT PUBLICITY MANAGER
You’re welcome. And, please, let’s avoid any más unpleasant surprises. (rubs her temples) I don’t want migraines so early in the morning. My assistant will keep tu publicado of the developments with mtv Canada.
And, to make it clear, this is a work of fiction that follows a conversation between Summit Entertainment’s Senior Vice President for Worldwide Publicity, Vivian Mayer-Siskind, and the agent of Kristen Stewart — Ken Kaplan. It is also, partially, a parody of the infamous Christian “Batman” Bale rant on the terminator Salvation set.
SEQ 01. INT. OFFICE. A woman in a suit is gripping the phone as she paces agitatedly across the floor.
SUMMIT PUBLICITY MANAGER
Kristen has been f—ing asked the same f—ing besar pregunta a million times, and she still doesn’t have a f—ing ready answer? She’s going to be asked exactly the same f—ing pregunta throughout her whole actuación career!
She was f—ing okay with it before. She was even f—ing flirty with that ‘It’s so much better answer during the Tokyo fan Meeting.
What made it the f— different this time around with mtv Canada? Is she más f—ing conscious about besar all of a sudden? What is it, Ken? Please tell me what the f— is the matter with being asked about onscreen kissing?
Every actress in Hollywood is being asked the same f—ing pregunta for every f—ing romantic scene in every f—ing movie they make. Heck, even f—ing Julia Roberts can’t escape the question!
And, what the f— is Kristen going to do when we reach Breaking Dawn where there are f—ing lovemaking scenes? Shut the f— up? Shutting the f— up is not an option, Ken! Kristen is not f—ing Jack Nicholson who can get away with it for Chrissakes!
What the f— is the matter with her, Ken? She’s making me clean up her f—ing mess. I’m not her f—ing nanny! My people have to get in touch with mtv Canada and f—ing apologize and then offer an exclusive with Rob o something!
Good thing that Dan Levy called her a b—h because it eases the f—ing pressure a little bit. mtv Canada also has to appease us with an apology, so it f—ing levels the field a little bit.
But, Ken, this is MTV! MTV!
mtv helped out Twilight from the very start. They are a tremendous force with the Twilight mania. Remember those Twilight Tuesdays?
I would f—ing bend over backwards to accommodate them. If there’s an mtv Greenland and they want an interview, I’ll schedule it even if there’s a f—ing howling snowstorm. tu know what the f— I mean, right?
And, not just MTV, but, every f—ing program from Viacom. Kristen should have been a presenter in the upcoming Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards on 28 March, but, she has those f—ing pictures of her smoking weed. Not that anyone can f—ing prove it, but, the f—ing damage has been done.
It’s a f—ing good thing that Rob kept his head clear and he’s been invited to present. At least one of them is going to be there to f—ing represent Twilight!
Doesn’t Kristen realize that the f—ing publicity she will get from Twilight will draw fans to her indie films?!? Even her indie directors know and are f—ing grateful for it! Adventureland and The Cake Eaters are not going f—ing straight to DVD, right?
I just don’t f—ing get it, Ken. At this point in her f—ing career, her f—ing name can get indie projects off the ground because producers want her on board! Kristen doesn’t have to f—ing fight as hard for the projects that she wants! Twilight just happens to be a great f—ing deal for her!!! What the f— doesn’t she understand? What the f— doesn’t she understand, Ken?
(more quietly) Doesn’t she understand that each press group only has five minutos with her and they have to editar something interesting with those five minutes? Doesn’t she realize that these press people will always be instrumental in the success of every film she’ll ever make? It’s a synergistic relationship that needs to be cultivated.
Sure, Dan Levy was way out of line for calling her a b—h on national TV, and, he’ll be reprimanded for it, for sure; but, Ken, Kristen has to realize that these people have a job to do and she also has a job to do. Please tell her to be professional. I know she’s young, but, she just has to find a way to deal with it.
Welcome to the Rileys and The Runaways are coming up. Welcome to the Rileys will have worse preguntas because there’s nudity and seduction between an adult and a minor. With The Runaways, the press will ask about drugs, sex and rock and roll.
She has to get ready for preguntas that are far far worse than onscreen kissing. Please, she needs coaching. But I don’t want a simpering Kristen. I still want her to answer truthfully, but, with más awareness of how her presence and respuestas contribute to the en general, general success of the Twilight saga and the film industry as a whole.
She needs to grow up. And fast.
To her credit, Kristen showed great improvement at the Twilight events in Tokyo Japan. Let’s take it from there.
Thanks, Ken. And, sorry about the cussing in the beginning.
KRISTEN STEWART’S AGENT
That’s okay. I understand. Thanks for your feedback.
SUMMIT PUBLICITY MANAGER
You’re welcome. And, please, let’s avoid any más unpleasant surprises. (rubs her temples) I don’t want migraines so early in the morning. My assistant will keep tu publicado of the developments with mtv Canada.
Kristen Stewart better prepare herself as she's going to have a hard time filming the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn.
There has been a lot of talk about the scene which depicts Renesmee's birth and the film's screenwriter, Mellisa Rosenberg has revealed that the birth scene will be just as 'intense' as it is in the book. It looks like KStew will have her work cut out for her!
She told E!Online: "We're working on it. And we're working on it to be as intense as it is in the book.”
But that doesn't necessarily mean it will be bloody: "I don't think it's about the amount of blood tu show.
"It's on their faces. It's all from Bella's point of view when you're seeing what's going [on]. It should feel visceral. I think it's going to be pretty intense."
Are tu excited for Part 1 of Breaking Dawn? We can't wait to see Robert Pattinson and Kristen back together as Bella and Edward!
There has been a lot of talk about the scene which depicts Renesmee's birth and the film's screenwriter, Mellisa Rosenberg has revealed that the birth scene will be just as 'intense' as it is in the book. It looks like KStew will have her work cut out for her!
She told E!Online: "We're working on it. And we're working on it to be as intense as it is in the book.”
But that doesn't necessarily mean it will be bloody: "I don't think it's about the amount of blood tu show.
"It's on their faces. It's all from Bella's point of view when you're seeing what's going [on]. It should feel visceral. I think it's going to be pretty intense."
Are tu excited for Part 1 of Breaking Dawn? We can't wait to see Robert Pattinson and Kristen back together as Bella and Edward!
And its funny, there is noo cure. But its ok, its not a handicap, más like a advantage.
Just means i get to glare (more like stare) at the glorious and beautiful figure of Kristen stewart.
If tu beleive tu have this disorder too, please contact your local fanpopian GP which specialises in Kristenian disorder.
Here i have a referrance.
Her name is Kaitlyn. aka. KatiiCullen94
Kristen Stewart’s life has changed dramatically since she took on the role of Bella cisne in Twilight.
She has become one of the most desirable actrices in the industry, not only to film producers, but also to press and fans.
Kristen has struggled to come to terms with the overwhelming attention she receives, particularly relating to her amor life and rumoured relationship with Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson.
According to Ok! Magazine UK, K-Stew complained: “It’s so weird, that tu have to be worried about people seeing things.
“You want to be excited about something, normal people can be excited about their lives, and I am, too, but it’s such a different thing.
“It comes out as entertainment for other people and that makes me want to throw up.”
It must be a tough life: millions in the bank, designer dresses, glittering career and hot boyfriend. Makes us sick too!
Source: STV
She has become one of the most desirable actrices in the industry, not only to film producers, but also to press and fans.
Kristen has struggled to come to terms with the overwhelming attention she receives, particularly relating to her amor life and rumoured relationship with Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson.
According to Ok! Magazine UK, K-Stew complained: “It’s so weird, that tu have to be worried about people seeing things.
“You want to be excited about something, normal people can be excited about their lives, and I am, too, but it’s such a different thing.
“It comes out as entertainment for other people and that makes me want to throw up.”
It must be a tough life: millions in the bank, designer dresses, glittering career and hot boyfriend. Makes us sick too!
Source: STV
She’s one of the hottest actrices on the planet, and Kristen Stewart says it’s been hard getting used to her fame- but she’s not miserable like she’s portrayed in the media.
The “New Moon” babe explained to ELLE Magazine that she’s not all about putting on a happy face at big events, especially because she dislikes all the hoopla going on around her.
“People say I’m miserable all the time. It’s not that I’m miserable. It’s just that somebody’s yelling at me…I literally, sometimes, have to keep myself from crying. It’s a physical reaction to the energy that’s thrown at you.”
“It’s funny that when I go onstage to accept an award, they think I’m nervous, uncomfortable, and awkward- and I am–but those are bad words for them.”
The “New Moon” babe explained to ELLE Magazine that she’s not all about putting on a happy face at big events, especially because she dislikes all the hoopla going on around her.
“People say I’m miserable all the time. It’s not that I’m miserable. It’s just that somebody’s yelling at me…I literally, sometimes, have to keep myself from crying. It’s a physical reaction to the energy that’s thrown at you.”
“It’s funny that when I go onstage to accept an award, they think I’m nervous, uncomfortable, and awkward- and I am–but those are bad words for them.”
Robert is very busy promoting his movie Remember Me in Londres, where he was seen along with co-star Emilie de Ravin.
At the same time, Kristen has been busy talking to the press about her new movie The Runaways in Nueva York along with Dakota Fanning.
Both Kristen and Robert seemed happy, though we are sure they miss each other and would like to have the other one around.
It is hard to spend so much time apart. Lucky for them, they will soon be together once más when they start to promote Eclipse.
