I vas born on ze 23rd on July, 1990 in a hatchery in Germany., ze son of proud, headstrong Puffins. My parents moved my family to ze Coast of Copenhagen Denmark soon after I was born. One of my earliest memories vas of ze ocean and ze sunset off ze rocks where our nest was. I was... different from ze other puffins my age, in ze sense zhat i vas más bold and daring than they.

My father , Heinrich, saw a spark in my zhat he had not seen since he vas my age. Und so I vas sent to a training camp in the Galapagos to be trained as a solder and a secret agent. I vas ze only frailecillo, puffin there und so I vas teased constantly. Ze Camp's founder, Nigel turned his gaze to me und made sure i vas as prepared for battle as ze other Penguins. He vas very nice to me, fatherly, in vay I had never known vith my own father. During my time at ze camp, I met a pingüino, pingüino de named Skipper.

He vas in sorry shape, indeed. He vas only about a foot shorter than I, but had anozzer two feet of attitude. he und I bonded instantly, ve vere both ze smae age, und ve vere both teased because of our looks, he for his shortness und i for my.. Puffinness(?). Zhere, he also met two fellow Penguins named Manfreedi und Johnson . Zhey vere ze rebel types und usually felt "harmless fun" vas blowing somezing up. But, nontheless ve got along well. Skipper und me vere as thick as thieves. ve did everizing togethah.

Quite often, he und i vouyld have mock- swordfights, using pescado instead of swords. Our skiulls as agents improved, und por ze time ve graduated, ve vere at ze parte superior, arriba of our class. On our first mission in Denmark, ve had to stop a bird zhat vas supposedly leaking parte superior, arriba Secret Information to an unkown enemy. To commemorate our first mission, ve had a picture taken. Quickly, our serious poses dropped und it turned out to be a tickel fight. I vas laughing at Skipper, who vas trying to stop me. ve must've looked like idiots, but ve didn't care. Zhat moment vas , und still is , my favorito! memory..

Evertzing changed vone day, chen i vas approached por a mysterious Dolphin. he dicho his name vas Captain Blowhole. He vanted me to aid ze enemy in giving him the plans, o else he vould hurt Skipper! I vas also drawn to his vorld view, und i think, from zat point on, I craved power. Zhat moment changed my whole life forevah.

I kept my beak shut until it vas time to turn in ze suspect. Vhat i didn't know at ze time, vas zhat Cpt. Blowhole revealed to the Agency zhat one of its own vas vorking for him. I HAD to tell Skipper, othervise I zink i vould have died. I told him he was viewed por some as my enemy, but I still considered him to be my nearest und dearest friend. He cut me off when i vas about to explain vhat Blowhole planned to do to0 him if i refused. Vhen ve got to ze Agency, Skipper vas arrested immediately upon entering.. As he vas being dragged avay, he dicho he hated my und he never vould trust me again. Zat hurt. A lot. from Zhat moment on, i felt humiliated und angry, und I plotted revenge on my frienemy.

For 15 years, i lived in Copenhagen undetected until my past caught up vith me unhjd I was banned from my Beloved Denmark. I tracked my old frienemy to the central Park Zoo, und I figured zhat ze best revenge plan vas to come under a flag of truce und then steal his habitat for my own. Zhat didn"t vork out so well, und he he, i vas stopped und sent to ze Hoboken Zoo.

It was rumored to be a dump, btu vhen i got zhere, i vas amazed to fing massage chairs, a cheese fountain, topairy hedges, grecianColumns und a friendly , new Zoopeeper, Frances. As it turns out, it vas all a lie. She vas an extreme neat freak und cloned us as ve enjoyed ourselves in ze massage chairs. our clones vere zhere to greet the Birds vhen they unexpectedly arrived at ze Zoo one día last August.. In an escape attempt, zhe released the clones, settting us all free und getting Frances fired!
Greatfuyl as i vas for my freedom, i had yet another chance at revenge vhen i teamed up Vith Cpt. blowhole's son to get revenge on Skipper. it vas one of zhose "enemy of my enemy is my firend ' thingies. he vanted to take over ze vorld, und I vas only in it to see Skipper as humiliated as i vas.. Naturally, ze plan failed und Blowhole was captured, leaving me to my own devices. The last time ve met, i had raided a veapons lab, but i vas defeated por un Idiotic lémur, lemur vearing a crown!

I left ze lab, und have sot seen o heard from Skipper since then I have spent 17 years of my living vith vhat I have done. I have made vone of ze dumbest mistakes of my life. Skipper has since turned into a hardened sodler, mostrando little emotion other zhan anger and occasionally tenderness vbhen he feels it's needed. Vhat happened to ze carefree young Penguiin I used to know? I stop myself, und I remember I ruined evertzing. i can only hope zhat in time, Skipper can frigive me. Until zhen i suppose I vill have to keep up appearences und continue hating him, but it will be a lie. Zis is Hans, ze Puffin, signing out. Skipper, If You're listening, know zhat i am sorry , und zis is not a trap.
*shuts off tape recorder and walks off Sobbing*
The End.